Asso’s Perspective
‘Ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing shortly at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. Please replace your trays and return you seats to the upright position. And thank you for flying with us today’ said the voice over the speaker system. It was Lance, the flight attendant who had been super attentive to me the whole flight. He stopped by several times and asked me about my trip, etc. I told him I was moving to Phoenix for work, he told me he lived there and what a great place it was, etc. I think he might have been flirting with me, I wasn’t good at reading social cues. Trevor (my best friend) was always telling me that guys were hitting on me but I had no clue how cute I was. I didn’t consider myself cute.
Anyway, I was about to take the second biggest step in my move to Phoenix (and maybe the biggest step of my life) … a visit to the city to finalize my promotion and look for a place to live. The first big step was accepting the job. Everyone around me was encouraging me to make the move, but Brody and Seth had to push me… I mean, life was going really, really good for me for the first time since my mom died. Why change it? I had a good job that I loved, I had a nice place to live, I had friends… even a BEST friend, Trevor (I was gonna miss him). I didn’t have many friends growing up, to be honest, I really didn’t have any. Yeah, I hung out with some kids at school, but I never like went over to their houses or anything like that, I just saw them at school and sometimes we ate lunch together. But now I had friends I hung out with all the time, and my life was pretty good, why change it? The more I talked with Brody and Seth the more they convinced me that my life could be even better. So, there I was shaking things up and risking it all… that wasn’t like me at all! Oh my god what was I doing??!!
On the flight I reviewed all the apartments I was going to look at the next day and got all my questions together for the agent. I had organized the listings on my phone by area, size, and rent. Then I made a list of everything I would need to buy for my new place, I really had nothing. My apartment at The Village was already furnished when I moved in, I had bought my own comforter, sheets, and towels after I had lived there for a couple of weeks, and some odds and end for the kitchen, and stuff like that… but as I thought through it, I realized I didn’t have anything really. I started to panic as I thought about having to buy stuff, then what if the new job didn’t work out and I had to move back to North Carolina, what would I do with all the stuff I bought? I mean would I need to rent a moving van? How much would that cost?! Could I even drive something that big? I was catastrophizing and started to think myself into a panic (again… I had been doing that ever since I accepted the job) for no real reason other than that’s how I think. I was on the verge of a panic attack when Lance came up the aisle, touched my shoulder, and asked, “are you ready for landing?” I nodded, and let out a sigh. He just smiled and said, “Well when you make the move to Phoenix, look me up and I’ll show you around” then he slipped me a piece of paper with his phone number, touched me softly on the shoulder, and made his way down the aisle checking on the other passengers. Was he hitting on me or just being nice? I was clueless. The plane touched down a little later and Lance shook my hand as I made my way off the plane and said, “good luck, I hope I see you soon” then winked. Yeah, he was flirting with me. Or wise me? I had no clue, Trevor would’ve known! I just smiled and said goodbye.
I deplaned and rolled my bag out to the curb and found an Uber to take me to the office. This was only my second visit there, but I had worked with at least half the people there over my time with the agency. I walked up to the reception desk to tell her I was there when Shea came up from behind me and said, “Asher, Welcome back!” She said putting her hand out to shake mine. Shea was another production artist at the agency, we had met on my last visit, they were intersex too (the first other intersex person I had ever met). “I like your pin” she said smiling at the heart-shaped yellow pin with a purple circle on it she had given me on my last visit, I wore it everywhere.
I just smiled back at them, “it’s my favorite thing.” I meant that too, it gave me a feeling of belonging and self-worth. I know that sounds like a lot of work for a tiny lapel pin, but Shea understood. That’s why they gave it to me in the first place.
“I know you don’t start for a couple of weeks, but we’ve got your workspace all set up in The Blackbird” Shea said as they led me through the office doors.
My ears perked up, ‘the blackbird’ was an X-men reference, “What’s The Blackbird?” I asked.
Shea kept leading me through the agency, saying hi to people as we passed them. “It’s where all the production artists are, right over here. You can leave your stuff at your workstation.”
The Blackbird was a big room with five workstations, a colorful seating area, a basketball hoop, a dartboard, and a bunch of other stuff. The desks, shelves, and walls were covered with action figures, superhero posters, Star Wars bobble heads, Marvel stuff, and all kinds of other stuff… NERDVANA! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, these were MY people! There were three other people in the room, I had met them all before. The jeans and T-shirts clad group of misfits stopped what they were doing to welcome me.
One of the guys said, “It’s The Beast! Welcome to The Blackbird” I looked at him kind of funny, wondering why he called me that. “FINALLY, More help!” he said with a smile. The other guys all introduced themselves (but I totally missed who was who, I would have to ask Shea names later), they were back at work within minutes but while they worked, they were discussing the latest episode of The Boys. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god I loved The Boys, I was bursting inside… I was so afraid about working in an office with so many other people, but there I was with a bunch of nerds talking about things I was into, I even joined in the conversation. Me, quiet little “Asso” was in the middle of a group discussion. The guys were listening as they worked, and everyone added their two cents. I just instinctively sat down at my new workstation and plugged in my laptop. I checked emails as I talked, Brody had CC’d me on some stuff… just a few things that needed adjustment, so I opened the files and went to work as I listened intently to the nerd diatribe going on around me and chimed in here and there. I fit in!
After about ten minutes Shea said, “You’re not here to work today, you’re here to get settled. You’re supposed to meet with HR most of the morning.” Apparently, she was my “orientation buddy” for this trip… they were supposed to show me around, get me where I was going, make sure I met everyone, she volunteered to host me. That made me feel good! Throughout my entire life no one ever wanted me around or wanted to help me. I never got picked for teams in school, whenever there was a field trip or school project where you had to pair off with someone, I was the odd man out. But here, I was instantly part of the team, part of something bigger… and Shea had chosen to welcome me personally. “We’re all going out for drinks after work, you guys can bore Ash with nerd talk then” Shea said to the others as she nudge me out of my chair and led me to the HR office.
HR went through all my benefits, my healthcare, 401k, and all that didn’t change much. I was given a keycard and alarm codes and all that. They handed me an employee handbook with policies… all standard stuff I figured. At the end of the meeting, she handed me a deposit stub for the signing bonus that had been deposited in my account that morning. I knew they were giving me a signing bonus but seeing the stub made it all real ($5,000!!!).
“We covered the taxes” the HR director said. “That should cover your moving expenses, gas, a moving van, a plane ticket or two if you need to come back again before you start, etc. whatever you want to use it for” she said like it was no big deal as she went through things with me. But it was. It was a big deal, and I could hardly wait to pull up my banking app and look at my account balance… oh my god I had never had that much money in my life.
After my meeting with HR, I went out to lunch with April the Traffic Manager, she walked me through interoffice procedures, process, protocol, all that stuff. It was a lot different than working remotely; more face-to-face internal meetings, informal morning debriefs in The Blackbird, the rare client meeting (although the PA’s rarely met with clients, I was told to dress business casual on those days… whatever that meant. I needed to ask Seth about that later). That was my last required work meeting while I was in town. Shea had set up drinks and appetizers at a local haunt with my new team that night (although I wasn’t old enough to drink), but after that, I was on my own to find my way around, a place to live, and get myself set-up in my new, future home city. I could’ve left the office until drinks, but I decided to stay for a while and work… I had stuff to do for Brody, and the team had overflow work I could help with. So, I stuck around a couple of hours and talked to my fellow nerds, worked, and got to know everyone before walking over to my hotel (just a block away) to check in. After that it was out with my coworkers. LOL, did you hear what I said? I was out… SOCIALIZING… WITH CO-WORKERS! It didn’t even feel awkward. This was all so new to me. While I was getting to know everyone, we were approached by this older guy in his 40’s and hot as hell.
“Hey guys” he said to our group, everyone seemed happy to see him. Then he turned to me, held out his hand and said, “Asher? I’m Kevin, welcome to Phoenix.”
Kevin. The President of the agency. Brody’s boss. The big guy. I had heard of him but we never met, I knew he was on the board of The Village too. It occurred to me at that moment that this guy had been in the shadows of my life for the past several months changing my world (indirectly and directly), that thought left me awestruck. “Um, Hi Mr. Nicholls, it’s nice to meet you, thank you for this opportunity.”
“Don’t thank me, you’ve earned it” Kevin said, “we’re glad you’re here; we need the help. Hey, I hope you don’t’ mind but I invited my family to dinner with you at Brad and Scotty’s tomorrow night.”
He knew them? I didn’t know that. “Um… of course, that’s great. You know Brad and Scotty?” I asked.
Kev laughed, “Yeah, Scotty is my brother and Brad is Seth’s brother” Kev said. “I hope you don’t mind kids because there will be a bunch of them.”
Oh my god! They were all related to Seth, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew Brad was Seth’s brother, and I guess I kinda knew they all knew each other because of The Village and stuff, but I didn’t really know how they all fit together. “Um, yeah, that would be really nice… but you don’t have to do that.”
“I want to” Kev said carrying on a one-on-one conversation with me while the others all talked. Dang, he was intimidating. Older, successful, my bosses boss, and hot too. But he was extremely nice and easy to talk to, I held my own pretty good if I do say so myself. “Izzy says you’re a good guy, Asso” he joked. Oh my god, he even knew Izzy called me Asso. He talked to me for a while and was interested in ME. He really seemed like a good guy. I couldn’t believe all this was really happening to me. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, I hope you like Chinese food. We’re all working so I told Scotty I’d pick up dinner on the way home” I just nodded. “Good luck apartment hunting tomorrow” he said, then turned to the other guys and said, “see you all tomorrow gang, have fun.” The guys all said goodbye to him, then went back to their conversations. I saw him pay the bar tab on the way out. What a good guy.
I just looked at Shea, “he came over here just to meet me?”
“That’s Kevin. He treats everyone like they’re a partner. The culture at the agency is important to him… he takes it personal when good people quit, but they rarely do. They really treat us good here, Ash” Shea replied. I believed them. After drinks me and Shea went to dinner alone, they took me to a place for sushi. ‘EWE raw fish’ I thought. Okay fine, I cringed at first but I loved it. When I tried to pay, she said it was on the agency. A $5,000 signing bonus, a plane ticket, a hotel room, free lunch, drinks with the big boss, free dinner… what the what?! This was a whole new lifestyle for me. It was like surreal. Shea dropped me off at my hotel at the end of the night and wished me good luck apartment hunting. “Next time I see you, you’ll officially live here” they said as I shut the car door.
The next morning the rental agent that HR had gotten for me picked me up at the hotel and showed me a bunch of apartments. They were all nice, but after I started adding up the extras like utilities (and even parking at a couple of them), the two bedrooms were way too extravagant for me to do alone. I realized that I could probably only afford a one bedroom or smaller, even then, between rent and utilities my budget would be tight… living alone would be expensive. By the time the rental agent dropped me back at the hotel, I had narrowed it down to a few, but wasn’t ready to choose yet.
It was after 5:00 when Seth’s brother Brian texted from the hotel lobby, he and his wife had come to pick me up for dinner. When I got off the elevator there was Seth!! I walked over to him, so excited to see him when a voice that wasn’t Seth’s (similar but missing the hint of a Southern Accent) said, “Hi I’m Brian Westin. You must be Asher.”
I am frigging serious, he looked exactly like Seth! I had met his brother Eli a couple of times and they looked a lot alike, but this guy was his doppelganger. “Hell, it’s attack of the clones. How many of you are there” I thought to myself.
Brian laughed and answered, “Four of us to be exact.” Oh crap! I didn’t think it to myself, I actually said it out loud. At least he had Seth’s sense of humor and thought it was funny. I turned cherry red, Brian just laughed and introduced the woman next to him, “this is my wife, Olivia.” We shook hands and then we walked towards their car. On the ride over they both talked about what a great place Phoenix was, and how I’d love it there. Oliva pointed out her favorite Mexican restaurant, and favorite place for ice cream. About halfway there Brian said, “Hey, Asher. I’d like to be your therapist like we discussed over the phone. Seth says you have at least one more session with him before you make the move, I’d like to join if you’re okay with it.”
“Um... yeah, that’d be good” I said. “And, um... thanks for taking me on as a patient and for picking me up tonight.”
“So, how was apartment hunting?” Oliva asked, as she turned from the passenger seat to look at me. We talked about the places I had seen and the areas where I was looking. She told me about their first apartment in Phoenix, etc. She was really nice… they both were. I felt surprisingly comfortable around them. The trip to Scotty and Brad’s house went by fast and I was nervous when we walked in. Until I saw Older Seth (AKA his brother Brad), and I was comfortable again… it probably had something to do with the fact that half the people around me looked like Seth! They were all very focused on me; ‘how was your trip?’ ‘How was apartment hunting?’ ‘Are you excited about the move?’ I felt like the center of the world and to my surprise I was good with it all. Even Brad and Scotty’s kids made me feel at home, they were a little older than Seth’s kids and weren’t all over me like Izzy (fine! I admit it, I liked that Izzy liked me).
Just when I was getting comfortable with the group, more people showed up. it was Kevin, his husband Randy (another hot older guy… oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I swear every guy Seth knew was hot), and their two kids. They had their arms loaded with bags of Chinese food ad it smelled amazing, I realized then that I had not eaten ANYTHING all day and suddenly I was starving. This was a regular thing with me. I would get so focused on… whatever… that I would forget to eat.
I looked around the room, it took me a while to connect all the dots but I finally understood it all: Brian (who was married to Olivia) and Brad were Seth’s brothers (and so was Eli), Brad was married to Scotty, Scotty and Kevin (the president of my agency) were brothers, Kevin was married to Randy. Okay. I got it! They talked about Seth, and when he and his other two brother’s moved in with Brad and Scotty because their father was some kind of religious Zealot. Then they asked me if Seth had fully recovered from the accident. “What accident?” I asked. They told me that about a year ago Seth was in a horrible accident and they almost lost him. I NEVER KNEW ANY OF THAT, in fact it hit me that I didn’t know anything about Seth’s past. He was my counselor and I was his patient, he knew all about me and I really knew nothing about him. I started to wonder if that was normal… I guess it made sense.
Just when it all finally clicked, a new face was added to the mix. A very hot, swarthy looking face… I mean DANG! Alejandro had joined the party, he was a Villager like me. Brad and Scotty had taken him in when he was homeless but now, he had his own place and his own life. He came over to me, shook my hand, and introduced himself. I turned beet red and stammered out “Um… Ash, I mean I’m Asher, um but they call me Ash, you can call me Ash, or you can call me um Asher, that’s, um okay too.” ARGH! I’m such an idiot sometimes.
Alejandro smiled and let out this endearing snicker, “Nice to meet you Ash, you can call me Alejo” he responded with sophistication, grace, and a tiny hint of a Spanish accent. He shook my hand, but my arm was just a limp noodle. The other people in the room were grinning a knowing grin, I hoped my complete and udder stumbling was cute and not humiliatingly devastating.
“Let’s Eat” Scotty yelled, and the four kids came running from another room. We all sat at this huge dining room table.
Kev got the conversation ball rolling by telling everyone what a great job I had done for Brody, and how excited they were to have me at the main office now that Brody had launched his two new campaigns. We talked shop for a bit, then Kev turned the conversation to Alejandro… I mean Alejo. “How are school and work going?” He asked. He was in his fourth semester of school studying restaurant management, he was also working parttime in the men’s department at Neiman Marcus (apparently for the 30% employee discount… he had expensive tastes).
“Great, I’m learning a lot in school, and I really need the clothing discount at Neiman’s” he joked.
And just like a typical dad, Randy chimed in, “or of course you could just stop buying so many damn clothes” making everyone else laugh.
“Hey, it’s my only vice” Alejo said with a smirk as he filled his plate with cashew chicken stir-fry and fried rice. At Brian’s prompting he ended up sharing his story with me; it was fascinating and so different from mine. His parents were filthy rich (apparently his dad was some kind of commercial real estate mogul) and he grew up privileged and spoiled rotten… that was until he got caught in the back of his G-Wagon with another guy and got arrested for indecent exposure. His dad basically disowned him and kicked him out. He cut him off from his family and his money… no car, no phone, no credit cards. Homeless and broke he wandered into Jordy’s Café (Jordy, the owner, was a friend of all the guys sitting around the table with us), he and his husband took Alejo in and connected him with Seth and The Village. Seth placed them with Brad and Scotty, helped him get another job, and transportation. Now he was on his own and turning his life around (just like I was doing). I had more in common with this hot Latino than I ever would have thought possible. So much so, that I felt comfortable enough to share my story. That was very unlike me… I usually tried to avoid talking about my past. They all empathized, no one felt sorry for me, or pitied me; and they certainly didn’t think less of me. They just understood… like Seth and the other people at The Village. I was uncharacteristically comfortable with these people… weird.
After our life stories were shared, Alejo asked me about my apartment search. I told him that I had narrowed it down but wasn’t overly excited about any of them. “Well, I have a second bedroom I don’t use… well other than to store clothes” everyone laughed at that. “Why don’t you move in with me for a month, that way you can get to know the area and keep looking until you find something you like… and if it works out, I could really use the help with the rent.”
“You’ll just spend it on designer bullshit” Scotty joked.
“What’s wrong with a little more couture?” Alejo laughed as he pretended to flip his nonexistent long hair. “But seriously if it works out… great. If it doesn’t, it’ll buy you another month to get to know the city and look around for something you’re excited about.”
I had to admit, it made sense. “Well, that would help me save, and then I wouldn’t have to freak out over picking a place right now” I answered. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely” Alejo said with an intoxicating smile. “You’ll need to get your own bedroom furniture though.”
“I’ll have to do that anyway” I answered warming up to the idea. At the end of the night, I thanked everyone for welcoming me, and Alejo drove me back to the hotel. We got to know each other on the ride over (what a nice guy). The next day, I went into the office in the morning to do a few things (even thought I was supposed to be off) and Alejo picked me up at noon for lunch. He showed me his apartment (it was way nicer than anything I could afford alone), then he showed me around the area, then dropped me off at the airport. We said goodbye until I came back for good in two weeks to be his roommate. Logically, having a roommate made total sense, but the fact that I’d had a raging boner every second I was with him worried me a little bit.
The bottom-line was that when I got on the plane, I had a place to live and felt good about making Phoenix my new home… mission accomplished... I was really doing this.
To be continued…
