Frankie’s (a.k.a. Sams’) Perspective
My last morning with The Village was awesome but depressing at the same time. The media was still hovering around Harrington House, so we spent another night at Seth and Zach’s, which meant another morning getting woken up by three kids begging for our attention. There was something about it that made me feel loved and wanted. Those three kids didn’t care about our pasts, or who we loved, or anything, they just loved us and wanted us to love them back. I guess that’s what they mean by unconditional love, I wasn’t used to that.
Breakfast was loud and fun. For some reason all three kids decided it was hilarious to steal my bacon. All three of them kept grabbing it off my plate, then I’d take it back, and they’d all giggle.
“Fwankie, gimme dat bacon” Izzy would bark with a giggle as soon as I reached for a piece.
“Dat my bacon” Ali would say right after and giggle. He was so cute!
Freddy wouldn’t say a word, He’d just reach out and try to stealthily grab it while looking in the other direction pretending to be preoccupied. I know this whole thing sounds stupid and tedious, but it made me feel like a big brother and I loved it. Over my lifetime, anyone vying for my attention was a rare thing, and damn it felt good to be wanted. I was getting so excited to meet my two little sisters and be part of a real family.
River and Che got in on the bacon-stealing action, and eventually Zach and Seth did too Every time I put a piece of bacon on my plate, someone would snatch it off my plate and the three kids would crack up with laughter… I have no idea why that was so funny to them, but it was. And when I faked being upset, they giggled even louder.
After breakfast we all played out in the yard with the kids again, Ali just started spinning around for no reason making us all laugh. Izzy saw the attention he got and started to spin too… when she tried to walk straight, she toppled over. Che started calling her Dizzy Izzy. “I not dizzy… you dizzy, Cheese” she chided back (I laughed every time she called ‘Che’ Cheese’, that hot, black thug melted like butter around that little girl). I couldn’t believe how much fun I was having just playing with three kids and my new friends. I couldn’t remember experiencing that kind of joy… well, ever. Man, I had missed out on so much…. ‘fuck my mom.’ I thought to myself… the more I realized I had missed out on in life because of her, the more I hated her. I started to think about her being all alone, rotting in a jail cell; actually, the thought made me smile. I felt like a horrible human being, but I couldn’t help it. I was seething with hatred and wanted her to pay.
We were all still outside playing when Dad drove up in his matte-green Range Rover with Tennessee plates, tooting the horn playfully to get our attention. I stopped what I was doing to greet him… seeing him made me smile. I gave him a hug, just as I wrapped my arms around him, *THWACK* I got hit in the head with the soccer ball. Freddy came running up to me apologizing, “I’m sorry, Frankie, it was an accident,” I just laughed. As soon as I did, he laughed too. Then he said, “Man did you see that kick? It was awesome! Did it hurt?” He was damn proud of himself. Shit, I barely knew these kids, or any of these people but I was gonna miss them all. My few days here had been the best of my shitty life. Dad didn’t miss a beat; he kicked the soccer ball into the group of guys and ran with Freddy into the middle of the game. We all played for a little longer, then Seth led us inside to take a break. The kids and guys played in the living room while me and Dad had coffee with Seth and Zach.
My dad asked them a million questions about The Village, and Seth told him the history. I had no idea that all those guys were friends in college, or that Max’s grandpa left him money to start The Village. Seth told my dad some of The Villager’s success stories, he never mentioned names, but I had heard a couple of the stories before and was piecing it together. Seth told a story about this kid he helped when he lived in St Louis, his dad had thrown him off a Pride float and put him in the hospital… long story short, Seth got Max and Brody to take the guy in and made sure he graduated high school, they even helped him get a car so he could be independent and go to college, then he talked about how he donated the car back to The Village once he was on his feet (I knew that was Craig’s story). Max’s grandpa passed away shortly after that; he was so impressed by what they did for the guy that he left a million dollars in a fund for Max to help other guys (a million and a half dollars!!! I couldn’t even imagine someone having that much money). Anyway, Max asked Seth to help him design a charity that could help young LGBTQIA kids transition into the real world by finding them homes, jobs, food, transportation, whatever they needed. They discovered there was a huge need for this and thus… The Village was born. Seth graduated and moved here to run the organization because Max was focused on building his candle business. That was just a couple years ago, and both organizations had taken off in a huge way.
My dad was enthralled by what Seth’s story. “So, Max’s grandfather’s trust got you up and running, but how do you keep going?” Dad asked.
“I am constantly looking for government and corporate grants to keep us going and expand programs, we also have several private and corporate sustaining donors who keep us funded. For a start-up we’ve done well financially” Seth said.
“How would my company get started as a sustainer?” My dad asked. “I’d like to help… I have obvious reasons” my dad said with a smile as he looked over at me. He and Seth talked business and he promised to have his business manager reach out to Seth. I owed all these people so much… if Che wouldn’t have seen me in the alley that night, and then come back to find me in the park, I’d still be homeless. Then Seth and Rodney gave me a place to stay and a job, helped me find my dad, and protected me from the media when things got crazy. I owed these people everything. While we talked, Dad’s text alerts were constantly buzzing. “Well, we got to go to your apartment and get your stuff then get over to Grandma’s before the family drives me nuts! They’re all so excited to see you again, and they’re texting nonstop.”
“I’m going to follow you to Harrington House to make sure the coast is clear, and then I can check Frankie out of his place” Seth said.
I don’t know why I picked that moment, but I said, “Sams… call me Sams.”
Seth smiled and said, “Okay, Sams.” My dad beamed; I could see him tearing up. I was officially back with my father.
“I’m goin’ with” Che said, then River, then Zach, and of course the kids… everyone wanted to come along. God, it felt weird to not be alone anymore. Seth loaded his family into the SUV, Che and River got into Che’s Corolla, and I got in the Range Rover with my dad.
As soon as the car doors shut my dad said, “Those are some damn good people and I thank god you found them.” He leaned over and hugged me before we buckled up.
Zach led the caravan as we all drove towards Harrington House. Dad and I talked the whole way in, it was weird, I felt totally comfortable with him, like no time had passed, it wasn’t awkward at all… this was my dad. I had been separated from him for almost two thirds of my life, yet our connection was natural and our bond was strong. Dad tried to remind me of the people in my life pre-K (pre-kidnapping), but things just didn’t click, I didn’t remember much, however, as he talked, I started to have foggy memories of my life before. I guess I did have memories… they were just locked up tight in the back of my head somewhere.
When we got to Harrington House, things seemed quiet enough, the parking lot behind the building was empty except for the old, green VW bug that the villagers used, so we all pulled into the empty spots. Seth got out and told us all to stay in the cars until he could check things out. As soon as he went into the building, a reporter came out of nowhere and wrapped on my Dad’s window. “You’re Samuel Willis, aren’t you? Is it true that your mother locked you in a dungeon for thirteen years?” then she just went off rattling ridiculous question after ridiculous question, and repeating conspiracy theories from social media. I just stared at her while my dad rolled up the window. Zach got out of the Atlas and Seth came out of the building at the same time, they were able to stave off the reporters long enough for the rest of us to get into the building and up to the second floor. All the guys followed my into my apartment and helped me pack my stuff… it only took a minute; I really didn’t have anything. By the time my dad, the others, and the kids got up there I was ready to go. It was time to say goodbye.
I thanked Seth first, he put me on the right track and helped my find my dad. Zach was next, he promised to continue to be my lawyer and help me through the shit storm. “Hey, can you help me change my name back?” I asked him as we hugged goodbye.
“Yeah, that’s easy enough. Call me when you get to Nashville and we’ll figure it out” then he paused before he called me “Sams” with a smile. I said goodbye to the kids, I was crying like crazy as Izzy Kissed my cheek, and hugged me, then Ali did the same. Freddy shook my hand and wished me good luck… he was like this tiny man. Seth’s family and my Dad went downstairs and left me to say goodbye to River and Che.
“Thanks for coming back to find me that first night, Che” I said.
“Man, I knew you was in trouble” Che said. “I know what it’s like to be on yer own, man. It aint gotta be dat way.”
“You got all of us” River said. Man, he had done a total transformation in just a couple of days. I think he was jealous of me taking all Che’s attention at first, but then he must’ve realized that Che wasn’t going anywhere. Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad we all parted friends… my first real friends. We promised to keep in touch, we hugged (and kissed a little) goodbye, then I left the second floor, the guys stood at the top of the steps until I entered Seth’s office where the others were waiting. We said one last goodbye, I didn’t have the words to express how I felt so I just said, “thank you” then Dad and I got in his Rover and were off to “Grandma’s House.”
“How you doing?” Dad asked as we drove.
“I’m good. A little sad, a little scared, a little excited.”
“I get it. But don’t be scared about seeing the family, this afternoon is all about you, Sams.”
“I know” I said, “But I feel bad, I don’t remember Aunt Trudy, I don’t even remember my own grandparents.”
My dad glanced over at me as he drove the Range Rover closer to my family. “Sams, that’s not your fault. You were ripped away from your family, and… well, I know this is gonna sound harsh, but you were pretty much brainwashed.”
What? What the hell was he saying? I wasn’t brainwashed… was I? “I… I wasn’t brainwashed.”
“Well, then what would you call it. She changed your name, and made you forget your past and accept a new reality. None of that was your choice or in your control” Dad said. Damn, he was right. “Listen, quit worrying about the past, this is a new start” he said as we drove through Hamstead and up to a nice house on the waterway. It wasn’t anything huge or fancy, just a nice home on the water. “Your great grandpa bought up waterway property before it was cool” Dad said. My family has lived here for decades, Aunt Trudy lives here with Grandma now.”
“It looks a little familiar” I said. “Like, I don’t recognize it, but I feel like I’ve been here before, kind of like Deja vu” I said trying to explain my strange feelings.
“That’s good” Dad said with a smile. “Maybe this get together will spark some memories, but if it doesn’t, don’t stress about it. No one expects you to remember what happened when you were a toddler, they all just want to know you’re safe.” The he paused, “well, you ready?”
I took a deep breath and exhaled, “let’s do it” then I opened the car door, I didn’t even have my foot out the door when a group of people came out of the house moving quickly towards us. The first in line was obviously my Grandma Willis, I didn’t recognize her, but I knew who she was, and without any doubt she knew who I was.
“Sammy” she cried (in every sense of the word), “It’s really you!” She put a hand on each cheek and gave me a full on lip kiss that lasted an eternity, then hugged me and sobbed tears of joy on my shoulder. “I never thought I’d see you again, honey” she said through her tears… we hugged forever. I felt safe and loved in her arms. Fuck my mother for taking me away from her.
“Well, don’t bogart the lost boy” a voice said from behind Grandma Willis. Grandma moved away and another woman took her place, She was a couple of years younger than my dad, it was Aunt Trudy. Dad told me she was still in high school when I was born and used to babysit me a lot. She would come get me after school and on the weekends and take me to the park to keep me away from my mother (they all knew she was nuts). “I hope you remember me Mr. Sam Man” she said before holding me tight. Then she started weep-singing quietly, ‘Mr. Sam Man, bring me a dream, make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen…’ the song sparked something in my memory. She used to sing that to me as she pushed me on the swing at the park.
“Uncle Rudy” I whispered in her ear, although I had no idea why.
She pulled back and looked at me with tears rolling down her cheeks, “You remember! You used to call me Uncle Rudy.” The whole group laughed, grandma told the story of how I got confused between ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’, and how ‘Aunt Trudy’, sounded like ‘Aunt Rudy’ thus... Uncle Rudy, the whole family called her that… well, until I disappeared, then it was just a painful memory.
My dad’s whole family was there, his aunts, his uncles, his cousins, second cousins, etc. Grandma continued to tell stories as we walked towards the old house. Once I stepped inside, I had more revelations from my childhood. The smell was overpowering and so familiar, I recognized the old quilt on the back of the couch, I’d been there before! That afternoon the family told stories about me, we laughed, we cried, we ate amazing food that tasted so familiar. That day was like a giant Deja vu as memory after memory started to come back. It was like an old sitcom where someone bumps their head and gets amnesia, then they bump it again and it all comes back. I… I was home. That night, I slept in my dad’s childhood room like I used to when I slept over at Grandma’s. The room hadn’t been slept in since I disappeared, it was Grandma’s way of keeping hope alive. Oh my god, it was so much to take in. I had forgotten this family ever existed, but they had been mourning my loss for thirteen years. Fuck my mother for taking me away from them.
Monday morning, Grandma made us a huge, greasy, southern style, lumberjack breakfast. It was just me, Grandma, Dad, and Uncle Rudy (she smiled so wide every time I called her that). We were laughing at one of dad’s story when the doorbell rang. Dad got up to get it, then we heard arguing… I got up to help but Grandma put her hand on my shoulder and pushed me back in the chair. “Darlin’ let your daddy handle it… it’s them Damn TV people from Raleigh again tryin’ to get a story. They’ve been like little gnats swarming around here for days.” All this crazy shit over me… how the hell did I forget this entire world? How could I just replace all these great people in my head with my hateful mother and her abusive husband. Fuck my mother for taking away my memories.
Dad got rid of the media (at least for the moment), we finished breakfast, then it was time to hit the road to Nashville to start my new life. It was a tearful goodbye, I promised Grandma I would call regularly. Uncle Rudy promised to bring Grandma come visit me and my sisters over the summer. It was weird, I had been alone and lonely for so long, now I had an instant family… weird, and freaking wonderful. Dad and I hit the freeway and talked about all that had happened over the last few days. My emotions were riding the world’s most terrifying rollercoaster as I went from total elation over the reunion with the family who loved me to hatred and loathing over the life I was forced to lead without them. As my dad probed me on my life with my mother and stepfather, I found myself getting violently angry, my usually quiet self was opening up to my father in a way I had never opened up to anyone. I was red-faced yelling at times then would apologize. Dad encouraged me to let it out, he validated my feelings, “She put you through hell, you have every right to be pissed off.”
“I have so much to say to that… that life stealing bitch.”
“Then maybe we should hold off on going home and make a detour to Laredo” He responded with a hand on my knee, and a glance over at me that felt like a connection with my soul. I’m sure the look on my face reflected my terrifying excitement at the prospect of confronting her, but before I could respond, my phone rang… it was Seth so I answered. Meanwhile dad picked up his phone as he drove and futzed around with something.
“Hi Seth, what’s up?” I answered trying to be even keel after my emotional hurricane.
“All the attention has the phones ringing off the freaking hook, in the middle of a million messages from reporters, and guys looking for help, I got one from Parker, your stepbrother. He asked for your phone number, instead I took his and told him I would pass on the message that he wants to talk to you.”
Parker, with all the crazy shit going on, I had forgotten all about my perfect stepbrother. He was probably freaking out from seeing all this play out in the press and on social media. Seth promised to text the number, then I told him all about meeting my family. Before we hung up, I promised to call him for a session on Wednesday and let him know if I needed anything. It felt good to have him worried about me, hell it felt good to have anyone feel anything about me.
My dad was on the phone talking appointments, and business so I just called Parker. He answered and I said, “Hey Parker this is Frankie.”
H screamed into the pone, “FRANKS!!!! It’s you! Are you okay?!” He sounded relieved to hear my voice. “Why didn’t you tell me and my mom what was going on, we would’ve helped you?”
The answer to that question made me feel stupid, “I had no clue. You know what she was like, I wasn’t allowed to talk about my Dad or the past but when I started piecing it all together, I found the truth.”
Parker’s response was, “I hate what they did to you, and I am so sorry I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out.” Parker was the only person I had trusted over the past thirteen years, but he was just a kid like me… we were clueless and powerless.
I scoffed under my breath, “sorry? You were they only thing good about my life. I lived for your visits.”
“Yeah, and I stopped coming, like an asshole.”
“I don’t blame you for that. I got out of there the second I could” then we talked and used up most of the minutes on the burner phone The Village gave me (dad promised he’d put me on his family plan when we got to Nashville so I didn’t stress about it). I learned that Gary had been arrested… not for kidnapping but for assaulting a reporter who got too close. The police were more than happy to lock his ass up. The DA’s office in NC was working to build a case against him for my kidnapping and were happy to have him put away while they did. Anyway, it was good to hear from Parker, we hung up and I promised to call him when I got my new phone.
By the time I was done with Parker, Dad was on a call with Caroline, then he hung up and it was just the two of us again. It was early afternoon and we were outside of Atlanta when I started seeing the signs towards Tennessee, Dad ignored them and went the other direction, I figured he knew what he was doing, but when we crossed over into Alabama, I got suspicious and asked.
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” I asked.
“Yup” is all he said. My phone didn’t have GPS, but I was getting a little scared, was my dad kidnapping me… not a fucking-gain! I thought to myself as dread zapped through me.
“This is the wrong way” I said with confidence, even though I was just going by the highway signs. “Nashville is in the other direction.”
He just looked forward and said, “We’re not going to Nashville.” My heart sunk, I got scared, I wanted to call Seth but I used all my minutes on Parker. ‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit’ I thought. I was in full panic mode… I trusted him too soon! “We’re going to Laredo. You’ve got some things to say to your mother” he said as he looked me in the eyes. “So do I.”
“Wha… what?!” I was in disbelief.
“We gotta put this crap behind us Sams. That means closure. This has been eating me up for thirteen years, and it’s obvious it’s killing you too.” I called the Webb County Detention Facility, we can see her tomorrow during visiting hours, then we head to Nashville and leave that shit behind.”
Holy fuck, this just took a big turn… good? Bad? I had no clue, but a definite turn. “But that’s really far, isn’t it?”
“So what? I called Carolina and let my business partner know I needed a few more days. We gotta do it, Sams” he said. I had no choice in the matter… which was probably good because I would’ve chickened out. We took turns driving, and drove through the night. Damn, I had missed driving! Dad’s Range Rover was SOOOOOO much nicer than Gary’s old pickup or mom’s beat up Malibu. Dad and I didn’t talk much after that, I was going through what I would say in my head, I’m sure he was doing the same.
Well, it was late morning when we pulled up to the Webb County Detention Facility. They ushered us into a small room where we waited for what seemed an eternity… and then she entered. She didn’t look defeated, she looked smug… and it fucking pissed me off even more. She had stolen my childhood and ruined countless lives, and she didn’t give a flying fuck. Fuck my mother for what she did to us.
To be continued…
