Little Monsters
The week following Christmas was punctuated by work. A frustrating week following the merriment of the festive period, an impatience for New Year’s Eve and all that the new year itself would bring.
Dean accompanied Hugo to a dinner following an ambitious day-long meeting planning for the year ahead. Mergers and take overs were Hugo’s iron clad objectives. Dean was the man to connect everything up. Literally.
Sartoria SoHo
“Well Dean. I hope I haven’t scared you off with what we need from next year? It’s just around the corner.” Hugo sipped his Old Fashioned with a snarl.
“No. It’s what I’m here for. I’m up to the task. I won’t let you or Plutus down. You can count on me.” Dean meant every word. He thought of Christmas. He felt him and Jamie had moved from boyfriends to something resembling a family of their own. Families needed protection. Financial stability. A future- boy.
“Glad to hear it. Did you and firecracker have a good festive holiday? God, what a guy. I bet he keeps you on your toes.” Another playful snarl and a wink this time.
Dean was thicker set than Hugo but Hugo had this presence. He prowled and purred like an arrogant house cat. His personality was his braun. Dean spoke quietly. Consciously keeping up his guard. “He does indeed. Like I said, a bull in a china shop in Prada loafers. In fact I think he wants Manolo’s soon. He’s fantastic though.” He shifted. “Hugo, man to man. He seemed to make quite the impression on you and I had nothing to with that name he called you. I can’t bring myself to say it.” Dean looked away and laughed tentatively and swigged the last of his Whiskey Sour. The strength made his cheeks flush more than usual.
“Oh? Hugsie Bear? Are you kidding? Its cool. I’m down with the kids. I’ll take a nick-name. I admire someone who refuses to be scared of me.” He paused then frowned a little. “It’s kinda hot.” He snapped his eyes to Dean. “Don’t worry Dean. He’s only got eyes for you. Everyone can see that. Truth time? Little jealous of what you have.” He smacked Dean’s shoulder. It was disarming and alarming at the same time. “Christ ease off working out will you? You’re harder than my kitchen worktops. And they’re Italian marble. Fuck.” Hugo didn’t seem to have any boundaries to speak of. Everything was on offer to him.
“Again, Hugo. At the risk of speaking out of turn.” He paused, ran his finger along his lip. He felt compelled to stake his ground. Boss or not, certain lines are just not crossed. “My partner is central to everything about me. He’s a pistol I’ll give you that but there’s nothing in it. Just laying my cards on the table. He’s loud and endearing to everyone. But everything else about him is mine.” Dean coughed and felt himself feel slightly aroused at defending his territory. He snapped his blazer lapel straight. I’m watching you Grosvenor. He inhaled powerfully, his chest inflating a little. If they were in the wild, Dean would be the dominant Gorilla. Smacking his chest demonstrating supremacy.
“Hey man. Don’t think anything of it. I get it. I meant what I said to him a couple of weeks back. You look fantastic together. Shit Dean, ease up. You can actually trust me. We’re going to be working together a lot. We need to get on. I might be this arsehole CEO but I’m not a complete pig. Shake my hand man. No bad blood?” They shook and he went on. “We need to discuss some trips in February. Linking up new networks in Europe is going to be key to next year.” Hugo took another swig.
Dean stiffened at the thought of maybe being away for Valentine’s Day. He started to panic. “Ok. Well if I have some dates that would be great.”
“Magda will email everything over in the New Year.” Hugo was interrupted by Dean’s phone.
“Sorry. It’s him. Can I?” He winced.
“Hey we’re off the clock. Go ahead. Check in.” Hugo gestured.
“Hey. You ok? I’m just with Hugo.” Dean pulled his phone away from his ear smiling awkwardly.
Hugo heard Jamie’s voice, carrying across the table. “HUGSIE BEAR! HEY BABE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” He doubled over at Jamie’s excitement.
“Are you finished? Yes. Ok. I’ll ring you in a bit. Yes, you too.” Dean ended the call. “Sorry and sorry.”
“He’s a good kid. Shame he’s got a job he’s happy in. I’d let him loose on shitty investors any day. Can you imagine him with them?” Hugo wiggled his eyebrows.
Dean smiled genuinely. Maybe he’d judged Hugo a little too quickly. But there was still something he didn’t completely trust. Jamie didn’t see it though. He saw beyond the bullshit and suits straight away and made a genuine connection. Maybe it was just that. Hugo was powerful. Jamie was hot. They got on. Dean’s a man. It was basic animal instinct.
“Dean? Go meet him for fuck’s sake. I’m going to take myself off to my Penthouse for an early night. Oh and by the way, I know you’re thirty on New Year. I’ve chucked a bonus in your pay this month. Should be with you tomorrow. 5K about do it?” Another wide smile.
“Uh wow. Thanks a Hugo. That’s very kind of you. I don’t know what to say.” Dean was floored and blushed again. This arsehole might actually be alright.
“How about. Happy New Year Hugsie Bear. I’ll arrange a dinner for us in a week or too and I’m going now to hunt down my firecracker partner?”
Dean rolled his eyes. Something melted between them and it felt good. Hugo laughed. “Get out of here Archer. Have fucking awesome New Year and birthday. See you next year Ace!” He held his hand up for a high five. Dean obliged.
“Cheers Hugo. I won’t repeat that sentence but yes I agree with everything. That nick name. Jesus. Ok, speak soon. Take care.”
JAMIE: I’m in GAY. I know it’s awful but the music is amazing. Come here and dance with me. Lars and Trix are so drunk. I’m not far behind. I’ll let you do that thing tonight if you get more drinks in me. ;)
DEAN: You’re on. I’m in the mood to celebrate so you and the bed better watch out.
Jamie replied with the screaming ghost emoji. Dean never used emojis, why confuse an already confusing language with fucking little pictures? That protest aside, he now had an in-depth understanding of what they all meant. It was practically the only way Jamie communicated over text these days. He was convinced Jamie did it to confuse him. He didn’t care. A text from him regardless, was always a moment where everything stopped for him to read it.
He walked into the wall of music, clouds of alcohol and dry ice. He squinted his eyes but soon loosened up.
Gabby was at the bar ordering a drink. Dean took off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. “Hey Gabs, how are you babe? Get me a shot of something awful will you?” He kissed her.
“Hey gorgeous. Bloody hell you mean business. Rolling up sleeves, tie off, top button undone, shots? What the fuck is happening?” She tapped his chest laughing.
“I’m in love. I’ve had a good day in work. I have new friends, that’s you by the way, and that rabble over there, and I want to dance with my beautiful boy.” He downed the shot and homed in on Jamie.
He stood out like a beacon. As always. Black tailored trousers. Black t shirt laced with gold thread. He dazzled in more ways than one. Dean loved his laugh when he wasn’t looking. Lost in fun. He marched up to him and grabbed his waist for a kiss. Jamie held his face.
“Wow babe. You should work late more often. What was that for? Hugsie ok?” Jamie rubbed his nose against Dean’s and winked.
“Yes he’s fine. Shut up. I love you. Work is looking up and I’m just ready for the New Year with you. Problem with that Trouble?” He held Jamie with one arm. Proud and completely smitten. Again. And again. And again.
“No. That sounds good to me. Dean you look so handsome. Off work Archer is a stud.” Jamie grabbed Dean’s crotch without a care and gritted his teeth.
“Don’t tease me boy. You better not be tired or too drunk tonight.”
“I will never not tease you. Oh I won’t be. Now shut up and dance with me.” They hugged tightly and swayed to the awful cheese blasting through the speakers.
“I think I know this one. I have you to thank you for that.” Dean smiled at his boy.
“You do huh? Well you’re welcome Big Boy.” Jamie wrapped his forearms around Dean’s head. The kiss was deep and exciting. It felt like that night in August again.
Just then Lars jumped on them and kissed their cheeks. “Boys, I’ve got to go. I may have got lucky. Love you. Happy New Year!” He was gone.
“Yes Lars baby!” Jamie shouted after him.
A little while later Jamie, Dean, Trix and Gabby left the bar. All giggles, coats, rosey cheeks and cold breath.
“Ok, Gabby, I’m staying at yours tonight if you don’t mind? You’re closer and you have a gorgeous cafe for breakfast tomorrow near you. Shall we?” Trix mapped out Gabby’s weekend. Jamie smiled, he loved how tight his tribe was.
“Oh that sounds like a plan dear. Boys, happy new year. Speak to you soon. Love you all the world my babies.” Their heels clicked away into the Soho crowds.
“Bye ladies!” Dean shouted, they turned and blew kisses.
They got back to the apartment. Before they got to the door, Dean grabbed Jamie and pinned him to the wall. Holding his arms above his head. Jamie gladly let Big Boy do what he wanted. Dean’s eyes were wide and couldn’t take their focus of Jamie. His mouth open, hungry.
“Baby I love you being all territorial but are you ok? Really?” Jamie waited with a smile.
Dean pushed his mouth against his neck. “Yeah. I’m good. Jamie I’m enough for you aren’t I? You won’t go?” He stayed there. He needed the reassurance. Panic building from a silly idea but his mind jumped on it and ran to the try line like he did on the pitch.
Jamie pulled his hands down and cupped his cheeks. “Ok. Ok. What’s happened? Why would you ask such a thing?” Jamie looked inside Dean’s eyes. Looking for the crazy little monsters that were making him come out with such questions.
“I don’t know. I was with Hugo and he’s powerful, charismatic. You hit it off. I’m Dean. Happy in my home with you. In my old t shirts. I’m not him. I never will be.” Dean pushed his weight in for a hug. Jamie grabbed him.
“Dean, can I let you in on a secret?” He smiled as he whispered. Stroking the forest of black waves on his head.
“Always.” Dean was almost sleeping. Jamie had that power over him. Panic to peace in seconds.
“I get a lump in my throat just catching you doing the most mundane little things and seeing how happy you are just existing in our little world. Dean, no man is ever going to or has ever come close to what you give me. Do you believe me?”
“Yeah. I don’t ever doubt what we have, just sometimes things happen and make you need to hear it.”
“For the record you’re fucking hot as hell. Don’t compare yourself to people who don’t compare. Take me home. I need Big Boy time. You’ll never get it. I love that about you. You just don’t get how fantastic you are. Inside and out. Never stop being you Archer.”
“Yeah I’m taking you home.” He giggled into Jamie’s neck and they walked into the apartment hand in hand.
“Wait.” Jamie pulled him to the Christmas tree. Still standing in its own version of proud.
“You broke a promise on Christmas Day. You said we’d make love under the Christmas lights. There’s still time to make it up to me?” Jamie looked up at him playfully.
“I’m sorry. I better get to work.” Dean pulled him in hard and kissed him all the way from his lips to his crotch. It was slow and drawn out on the 29th December. It needed to be. Taking the time to show each other how much they mean to each other. The art of controlling the experience was just as seductive as the race to finish.
Dean peeled Jamie’s trousers and briefs off. The new ones. Good choice. Jamie replied with his t shirt. He pulled Jamie’s leg to his knee and reached his hand along his thigh. A place Dean could loose himself in for hours. The elegant and supple muscle, a thick and straight shaft at the end. With every touch, Jamie’s chest and stomach expanded and contracted excitedly.
Dean was quick and took Jamie in his mouth and continued his hand through his legs, deep in Jamie’s creases. Warm and open. Jamie hissed and pulled at Dean’s hair. The waves, a natural handle, he took advantage of their design.
“Dean, I love you. Fuck me under the Christmas lights. No one else can make me feel like you do.” Jamie pushed him away. Naked and wild. Dean, fully clothed and scrambling to make Jamie happy. How they were in life. It worked everywhere, even on the floorboards of Notting Hill.
Dean’s eyes were wild with marvel as this insatiable creature took all of him and moved effortlessly above. Each muscle stretched and working. Jamie was almost liquid in his movements. Dean wanted to be drowned in him.
Dean had his fill of being ridden and slammed Jamie to the floor. He wanted to claim him. Deep down, gay or straight, men marked territory. He came forward and bit Jamie’s neck, rose and let his climax fall on Jamie’s face. Jamie knew he had to give this moment to him. Dean was proving something to himself. The relationship moved beyond first times and excitement, now it was about giving in to one another’s needs. Sex was becoming weaponised and political. Jamie knew Dean needed this moment. He was a willing opponent.
Glistening in Dean’ climax Jamie reached for Dean’s hand. He smeared Dean’s thumb over his mouth and took in a stray drop of Dean’s sex and swallowed it, holding Dean’s thumb in his teeth. I’m yours. No one else’s.
Dean leant back on his knees. Cock wet and slick. Shirt undone. Tie gone. “There. Mine.” He reached forward and kissed him, despite the mess on his boy’s angel face.
“You have nothing to worry about. You’re more than enough for me Big Boy.” Jamie tapped his cheek. Always savouring the sting of Big Boy’s stubble.
‘The thing’ was done. Jamie spooned Dean that night. He felt it was his responsibility. Dean needed protecting too. Big, strong, but all heart. I’m never letting go.
31st December
Dean woke to the smell of burning and Jamie muttering under his breath in the kitchen. As much as the idea of breakfast in bed on his thirtieth birthday was appetising, protecting the kitchen from Jamie appealed more. He shot out of bed and ran to the kitchen. He gasped at what he saw.
Jamie slumped against the island head in hands. Dean was intrigued, aroused and a little entertained at Jamie’s attire. A USA flag apron and what appeared to be very little underneath. Dean went to him and held his face.
“Oh. Happy thirtieth Big Boy. I’m sorry. I fucked up already.” He wiped his eyes.
“Hey. Thank you. What’s happened? I appreciate the effort but we can sort it. Are you ok? Have you burnt yourself or anything? Also, mind explaining what this is for?” He tugged at the apron.
“Ok. You know those cinnamon buns you like when we go out for breakfast? With that fruit compote and mascarpone?” Jamie looked down at his hands. Embarrassed. Dean’s smile spread as he stroked Jamie’s hair.
“I do. Go on.”
“Well I wanted to make them from scratch for you and bring them to you. Now that’s shot to shit. I got so confused and overwhelmed and burnt them in the oven. I’m so fucking useless.” He clasped his hands to his knees.
“You’re sweet babe. You’re not useless by any stretch. It’s the thought and I’m touched. A little terrified but touched nonetheless. Now, can you get up so I can see this in full?” Dean pulled him to his feet and twirled him. Just a small, tiny in fact, apron emblazoned with the USA flag. Dean pushed him against the island. “Give me a thirtieth birthday worthy kiss. Now.” Jamie grabbed his head and kissed him hard.
Hands began to travel and huffs began to escape. “Wait, wait.” Jamie pushed him away. “I have gifts for you.”
“Well what I was about to get would have been fine. But ok” Dean pulled at his mound and grinned.
“This wasn’t the plan. Go to the sofa and wait please.” Jamie clicked in the direction of the living area.
“Yeah you know I love a blowie on the sofa.” Dean beamed like a teenage boy.
“Dean, shut up. You’re ruining it.”
“Ok. Sorry I’ll shut up.” Dean put his hands up in submission and sat on the sofa. Jamie returned with Dean’s old grey woolly cardigan on.
“Your birthday is cold as hell. Why couldn’t you be born in the summer?” He giggled. Finally. “Ok, Dean, these are for you. I know you hate surprises but you give enough of them, it’s your turn, especially on your birthday. You know I love words so as you asked before, I wrote you some. Here.”
Jamie handed him an envelope. Dean assumed a card but what fell was a beautifully scribed body of text. Dean gulped.
“Read it in your head please. I can’t bare to hear my words out loud. Give me an arm though. Big Pillow please while you read.” Jamie assumed position under his right arm. Gripping his fingers.
The Trouble with Magnificence
by
Jamie Arden
My life changed this year. I met a man. A magnificent man.
He has many names. ‘Dean’ was given, ‘Big Boy,’ bestowed. Future Boy - him defined.
He blinded me. A summer of persistence and excitement. That was chance. Now, is meant to be.
I wondered through this city alone. Misunderstood. His answer? He took me to Paris to tell me he loved me.
He’s my home. His thumb to my chin is the key. A private blissful world, for no one else to see.
He’s strong. A living, breathing Motte-and-Bailey. Protecting me from misery.
I was always a question that no one could answer. He understood. He called me Chaos. He called me Trouble. I adore my new badges. I wear them with honour.
My head is busy. Always busy, but I’m finally happy. My head resting on Big Pillow is where I absolutely need to be.
Dean put his hand to his mouth and got up, wiping his eyes. He couldn’t talk.
“Babe?” Jamie got up with concern.
Dean was unable to speak and cried, opening his arms. Jamie naturally assumed this was an invitation for him.
“Are you ok?” Jamie said into his neck.
“Am I ok? AM I OK?!” He picked Jamie up and bounced him like a baby then lowered him into a hug. “Babe, you wrote me poetry. You wrote me fucking poetry! Do you have any idea how beautiful that was to read? Wow. Thank you. I have to keep this safe.” He stared at it through red bleary eyes.
“Oh. I see. It was ok then? The words just felt right. They fell into place. I’m not done either. Look in the bag.” Jamie pointed, slightly taken aback by how Dean took his words. He did promise to never make Dean cry except for joy so he decided this was an acceptable reaction. His lip was quivering. Dean gave him so much, celebrating him was wonderful to watch.
Dean took out the printed confirmation of tickets, hotel details and an itinerary for New York. “Fuck are you serious? Jamie this is insane!” He wrapped him up in his arms. “You didn’t have to do that, but you know how much I love New York.”
“Happy Birthday. I wanted to treat you. Oh and have another look inside the bag.” Dean looked inside at the black box with a navy bow. Jamie saw navy more often recently and always thought of him. His colour. Absolutely. “Open it.” He whispered.
Dean opened the box and pulled away the tissue paper. “Jamie what the hell? You have to stop.” He pulled off the Tom Ford dust bag to reveal his new wallet. Navy on the outside and a deep burgundy on the inside. He gasped.
“I love you to death but your wallet breaks my heart. Here’s a new one. I think it suits you beautifully.” Jamie rubbed his arm.
“Jaim it’s gorgeous. Thank you so much. I don’t deserve all of this. I’m touched. Isn’t this the same colours as…?” His voice broke and he went into a bashful giggle. Then he panicked. Obviously. “Shit I need to get time off for New York.”
Jamie jumped on him. “Stop. All done. I checked with your assistant. Calendar clear. I think even Hugsie was in on it too. And yes, ever since the box you gave me my key in, they’re our colours. Perfect together.”
“Babe. Stop.” He reached and rubbed his palms up Jamie’s back. “You could rule the world. You’re amazing. Please can I get a Birthday blowie now? I’m in the mood to watch you take care of me babe. I’m serious. Come on. Please?” He wiggled his eye brows while kissing Jamie’s neck.
“Not really a tough sell for me. I do hear men get more horny as they get old.” Jamie clapped his hand over his mouth concealing a laugh.
Dean gawped. Only for a moment before bursting into a laugh and pulling him to the sofa. “Ok. We’re at that point in the relationship are we?” He thrust his crotch into Jamie’s.
“Dean, fuck me on your birthday. A blowie just won’t cut it today. Hard, show me what thirty year old Dean Archer can give me.” He grabbed his neck to instigate the power play. He was no match. Dean slammed his hands above his head. Eyes baring down, Dean scrambled with his shorts and pushed into Jamie hard. They bit, pinched, pulled and played. Ripping into each other like gift wrap.
Later, they were getting ready to leave for Dean’s parents for the party that evening.
DEAN: Hey guys, remember to be at the party for about 10 PM. Thank you so much for coming and well done keeping it quiet. You have one of the cottages so just hide out there and come up to the hall for around then. Gerry the groundsman has your numbers. He’ll ring one of you later to firm up plans.
LARS: Happy 30th my favourite Big Boy! No problem boss! You have a fucking grounds man? I love a tradie.
TRIX: Happy 30th gorgeous! How fucking big is this place? Gabby, you’re good with maps. Help!
GABBY: Looking forward, have a wonderful time and happy 30th birthday! What did you have? Dare we ask? Of course we have nooooooo idea. ;) Xx
DEAN: Thank you guys. He’s taking me to New York in a couple of days. I’ve had a Tom Ford wallet too. AND, he wrote me a poem! He’s so amazing! See you later. Black tie but do what you want really! X
Heart emojis flooded the chat immediately.
“Ok. We ready? Jamie are you serious taking all that? We’re going for a night for Christ sakes.” Dean shook his head at Jamie, waddling along with a suit case and a Dior suit bag.
“Don’t kill my buzz. I’m a lot. You know this. You can’t back out now.” He frowned. “Please don’t back out now I should say.”
“Hey. Boy. Not fucking likely. You just never fail to entertain me.”
They made their way to the parking garage. It dawned on Jamie they’d never discussed driving. Until now it’s been tubes, taxis and the odd limo here and there.
“Sexy car babe.” Jamie ran his hand over the Audi hatchback in electric blue. “This must have cost you a bundle. Did you know I love cars? I don’t own at the moment. Little point in this city but I can spot a V8 or a straight 6 a mile off. This one? It’s the 2.5 litre, five cylinder, 400 horsepower? 0-60 looking at around 4.5 seconds? Shame they limit these to 155MPH in Europe though. I love a fast ride.” Jamie opened the door and raised his eyebrows. He knew he’d just rendered Dean speechless.
“Uh, what the fuck? Uh yeah. Exactly what you said. Fuck Arden I’m impressed. Thank you. She’s my pride and joy. Never need her really. But I love to get out on the road every now and then. Freedom.” He put their bags, correction, Jamie’s bags in the boot.
“Can I come on your freedom drives Dean? I’d like to. If you’ll let me or is that something you want to do on your own?” Jamie shifted and played with the sleeve of his grey jumper.
Dean ran to him and picked him up. “Of course. Don’t be silly! In fact, she’s yours when you want. Please don’t crash her though.” He dropped him and Jamie went back to smiling.
“I won’t. If she’s your pride and joy. She’s mine too.” Jamie skipped into the passenger door. They drove out to Oxford. Jamie cranked up the naff pop music and they sang along through giggles and hands on hands.
An hour after leaving London, city became green wilderness which turned into quaint English chocolate box villages. It felt natural to Jamie. He was technically on his home ground anyway. The whole journey to the Archers home was almost comforting. Until he saw it.
“Are you serious? This is the driveway? Dean this like a fucking road into town. Are there traffic lights at some point?” Jamie gripped Dean’s arm.
“Shut up. I know it’s a lot but I’m happy in our apartment away from all this nonsense. We’re not arseholes Jaim.” Dean said through a smile. He didn’t want his family home to make Jamie think of him differently. To taint him somehow.
“Hey I know that.” As he said it, the house came into view. “That being said babe, your parents live in Downton Abbey practically. Jesus. I’m so excited! Can I have a tour? Please. Please. Please?!”
“Hey it’s not that big. Of course, you can see everything. You love your buildings, history and stories. Of course.” They pulled up next to a Range Rover and a Bentley coupe. Jamie was excited but not nervous, despite the setting. He knew the Archers were genuinely wonderful people. This would be an evening to remember.
Dean ran round to open his door and bowed. Jamie smiled widely.
“Trouble, Welcome to Archer Abbey.”
