The Arden-Archers: Part Two
Soon their wedding breakfast was upon them. They stole kisses up against the custom glass marquee, like teenagers. Restless eyelids, frantic lips. Trying to be deep and meaningful but the eyes of relatives made them giggle and break away.
“Sorry to interrupt but we are ready for you when you are.” The planner interjected.
“Hey, yeah. Sorry. Just getting a moment.” Dean grinned. Jamie looked up at him. Every time that grin was flashed, Jamie wanted to run away with him. He lay his head against Dean’s chest laughing quietly. The day was all about them but it was already feeling like it impossible to have time together. They’d have to wait.
”Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our newlyweds.” The planner announced happily. Everyone rose and cheered and applauded. Dean’s awkward smile led the way, followed by Jamie’s movie premier worthy basking in the spotlight. Dean marched, squeezing Jamie’s hand, Jamie almost posed as he weaved through their guests.
Tables were draped in white starched cotton. Topped with silver dinner service, their favourite champagne, wines and spirits nestled in ice buckets. Tables were affectionately named after everywhere they’d visited together. Silver candelabras glinted like fabulous stalactites. Ivy drooped luxuriously from everywhere it could hang. The magical garden Jamie envisioned crept into the marquee, too; a continuation again, like the declarations in their vows. The glass marquee itself, a jewellery box, filled everyone they loved. Their prized jewels.
They filed into the top table, nestled between their parents. The name, Paris, of course. Where it all began. Applause continued throughout the custom built room. Hugo wolf whistled, rugby boys roared and Harry shouted “my baby boys!”
“Thank you everyone! Let’s eat! Isn’t everyone starving by now?!” Dean shouted as he grabbed Jamie’s hand again. Everyone laughed and rolled their eyes. The only part of the design of the day Dean cared about apart from the exact time he’d see Jamie, was of course the menu.
The day was rich. Not from the money that had been spent on the day. That was obvious. It was rich with everything that didn’t normally go together. Drag queens sat by city executives. Fashion designers and creatives, giggled and got to know the usually reserved distant relative of either Jamie or Dean next to them. A perfect blend of them. Jamie hovered before sitting. Savouring every delicious interaction in front of him. “Trouble and Big Boy’s worlds collide.” He whispered. Dean noticed his hands were fists, squeezing.
“Hey, are you ok?” Dean knew Jamie would be overwhelmed at the drop of just one extra petal of confetti than might be necessary on that day. It was time for him to be on watch. It was tiring, the reassurance, it was constant, but tiring the way you don’t notice the effort you put in. The way you don’t actually tire of doing something you love even though you’re conscious of the energy it takes. You just role with it. He slipped his palm to the back of Jamie’s neck.
“Yeah. I’m completely and utterly happy. Look at this, Dean. We did this. Are you proud of us? I never thought this many people would want to support us, me really.” The happiness stalled slightly. Dean had to jump start it again.
“Turn around and look at me.” Dean grabbed his chin and pulled him in close. “I’m proud of you. I don’t need or care to be proud of me. You on the other hand, absolutely. And never question you’re worth. I keep telling you that. I know it’s part of you. I’ll never grow tired of reminding you, but I’ll correct you each and every time. I love you. Shall we sit?” Dean turned and invited Jamie to plop himself down next to him, letting the big feelings bubble up out of him. He landed on his chair with a sigh of relief, calm, satisfaction, unlimited happiness. Maybe all of those brilliant things he trained himself hard not to think he should feel in the years that came before.
A dinner of their favourite meals of seafood and steak followed. Every detail of their day was a reference to their most precious moments. Colours, menu, music, table names, cuff links. Even, “baby, wear my favourite underwear on our day.” Dean had cheekily asked in the weeks before. This wasn’t about new beginnings for them, it was celebrating everything that they already were. This was a culmination not an initiation.
Dean rose for his speech. He protested in preparations, he wanted to dedicate this moment, the day, to Jamie, even though Jamie assured him there was no need. Jamie let him have what he wanted in the end. This was a marriage of equals. Jamie had what he wanted and needed, Dean the same. Negotiation, compromise and understanding. Always understanding.
“Thank you everyone for joining us today. We’re truly grateful for the love, support and generosity you’ve showered on us in the run up to today. I didn’t think I’d get here, my friends will tell you I made it a mission to find the one. Kissing a lot of frogs along the way.” Everyone laughed.
“I’ll say!” Harry shouted. Everyone laughed. Jamie found Harry’s eyes and winked. Harry blew him a kiss back. Jamie grabbed it to his heart.
Dean continued after shaking his head and giggling. “Then one summer evening in London, over five years ago, trying to have a quiet drink with colleagues. I say trying because all of a sudden there was this commotion. And in came Trouble. I was hooked. I have been ever since.”
Everyone sighed with a collective “aww.”
“Jamie, my husband, you gave me the chase all over London but that night, both dressed up in ridiculous eighties get ups, we decided that this was worth a shot. We’re five years in and I didn’t know this level of happiness existed. That’s all your fault. You’ve changed me. You’ve made me a better person. Taught me to love the world around me a little more. I get up every morning looking forward to what the day will bring. You always talk of being home and safe with me. You never give yourself credit. Ask anyone here, you’re a force of nature among us. You’re dedication to family, friends, your work. Your unwavering need to help those less fortunate. I don’t know how you do it. Your ridiculous energy probably helps, when sometimes I’d rather just take a nap.” Everyone laughed.
Jamie chimed in. “He loves his naps.” Jamie swayed, bathed in Dean’s words.
“I do. It’s true. But Jamie, thank you for making me the happiest man alive today. It’s you and me, forever. And before I conclude and we take this party into the night, I remembered something Jamie said that night we finally locked in our first date, and I hope everyone’s evening goes like this. ‘We can kiss, dance. It’ll be beautiful.’ Please raise a glass to my husband. Trouble.”
“To Trouble.” Everyone roared.
Dean went to sit. Jamie wiped a tear from his eye. “Make a wish baby.”
“I don’t need to make anymore wishes. You came true.” Dean sat and smiled.
Jamie was stunned into silence and pulled him in tight.
Guests started circling soon after dinner concluded. An Archer was at the bar.
Lee with his signature arrogance, looked around the marquee at the party in full swing. “Scotch.” He barked without even bothering to look up from his phone.
The barman huffed and poured the drink. He slid it down the bar. Lee stuck his palm out and caught it. The amber liquid spilling over his hand.
“Excuse me. That wasn’t appropriate. This is my parents home. This is my brother’s wedding. Everything you see has my family name on it. Remember that.” Lee said firmly.
“Oh my god. That’s equally the most childish and boring sentence ever uttered. And you’re right, it was inappropriate. But I just matched your effort in manners. Non existent. Enjoy.” He snapped a smile that made Lee stumble with his glass.
He snuck a look at the barman with a lot to say. A shaved head. But a promise of mouse brown hair in the bristles that remained. A forehead sculpted into an intensity. His eyes, large, deep, hazel. A nose that was strong and flared like a lion toward the tip. His mouth, bee stung lips, wide with a tortured pout. Full of angst and disdain but a confident smirk at its corners. He was tall, slim, toned like a wild animal, something that sprinted and survived alone in the wild.
“Look. I’ll apologise. What’s your name? And I’ll take another.” A brief pause. “Please.” Lee felt a simmer of regret.
The barman grinned and slinked his body round to pour another scotch like a prowling cat. This time he approached Lee. Slid the glass into Lee’s hands and held his fingers over Lee’s. “Drew.” Their eyes met. “That’s better. And your name?”
“Lee. Thanks.” Lee became weak in his legs. Drew had an intensity about him.
“Mummy and daddy should be proud you can conduct yourself accordingly in their house when you put your mind to it.” He smirked and moved away not before tapping his palms around Lee’s. The condescension impressed Lee. His movement, confidence, a laziness, like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Lee filled with some sort of intrigue. He needed that touch again.
Five minutes later Lee did something he’d never done before, his intrigue setting his mouth into autopilot. Unable to take back control. “Are you due a break?”
“Yeah can do. One sec. Hey, I’m taking a break. Going for a smoke.” Drew pulled off his apron. Taking his black shirt half way with it. The muscles of his stomach stretched. Lee’s jaw subtly went a little wider. “It’s your house, but I’ve found a lovely quiet spot to smoke without being disturbed. Wanna go?” Drew had a way of peering into the eyes, Lee felt exposed, powerless. Like Drew knew his answer before he did.
“Ok.” Lee stuttered. He was quiet, confident, arrogant usually. But this man had found a loose thread and was masterfully beginning to unravel Lee. In all these years, Lee resisted the loosening of his control, he allowed it to continue with Drew for some reason. Tentatively for now. Curious.
“Excuse me.” Drew asked. His palms open, between their waists. Peering again. His eye contact, like a lion on a wildlife documentary. Superior. Sharp. Won’t be defeated. Lee stood back being broken from his stare. “Follow me.”
They took a side door out of the marquee and toward the fence that backed onto the woodland.
“So, your parents own those woods too?”
“Yeah. I believe they do.” Lee kept his eyes on Drew. He was fascinated. His floundering apology just kept going. Desperate to keep the interaction alive. “Look, I was an arsehole back there. I am sorry. I keep myself to myself and that means I don’t think about how I may come across.”
“Lee, it’s fine. You can be an arsehole but you can be other things too. We come from different walks of life but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a connection. You’re out here with me. Not in there. It’s allowed you know? My family doesn’t need to own a house just as big as yours to give us permission to speak. In fact, I don’t even have one. House or family that is.” Drew blew out his smoke and looked off into the woods. His Adam’s apple sharp in his throat. He swallowed something. Possibly a memory. An emotion. Very likely trauma with a statement like that.
Lee couldn’t stop looking him over. Something else he felt that he rarely allowed himself. Empathy. “I’m sorry about your family. I know how important mine is to me. I don’t show them enough actually. And the house? It’s not everything. At least not to people who actually are worth knowing I’ve come to understand.” Jamie’s numerous protests about money and love being separate entities brushed through his head. Were his values beginning to change? Had Jamie and this chance encounter finally made him see that money and status meant nothing if you’re alone and being honest with yourself?
“Well, can’t you be sweet?” Drew moved in closer. Almost too close for this to be a casual conversation. Lee could feel his warm breath. “I grew up in care. When you turn eighteen in this country, the system decides it’s fucked you up enough and then you’re out on your own. It’s fine. I do gigs like this for rent money and supplies.”
“Supplies?” Lee bristled. Frowning.
“Jesus, you think I mean drugs? God you’re shallow. Or at least the world you live in dictates that you should be. No I’m not a drug addict. I’m an artist. I need supplies to create. Turns out trauma can be an endless source of inspiration. I’m no Picasso but my work does sell well from time to time. A few musicians, rich idiots with too much money, they pay. Sorry. That wasn’t a swipe. But, it’s funny. Me, a child of the system, turning my trauma into art, makes your world feel even better about itself. A world I’ll never understand allows me to claw my way out of a world you never need to understand.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “And, I’m sober. I’ve seen drink and drugs ruin people in the system, it’s a fucking unrelenting cycle of shit. I want no part of it. A cigarette and a sleeping pill every now and then is as far as I go. Is that enough of me to allow you to assess if you want to continue this conversation?” Another drag and Drew looked down. An attempt to down play the significance of what he had just said was betrayed by the weight of it heavy on his shoulders still. Despite weaponising his life into an armour against the world, Lee could see it still had a profound effect on him.
“I’d like to continue. I admire your honesty. And no offence taken. I may bask in the luxury of my world but I know it’s pretentious. I know it’s all bull shit.” Lee couldn’t quite believe he was agreeing with Drew’s point of view, let alone admitting his own values may well be changing. “How old are you? You seem to have been through so much.”
“Thirty. You don’t need to make apologies for the way you live. I’m pretty sure everyone here works for what they have. It’s not bitterness. It’s just the sad fact of life. Some win. Some lose. Some of us are sick of losing.” Drew came close. “Let me guess, your job is pretty formidable too?” His frown was deep. Not anger. A pain from something. A quiet desperation to cover as much ground with Lee as he could. To see into that world he didn’t understand. He’d never cared to before, but it was now in front of him. May as well take a look.
“Barrister.” Lee usually puffed out his chest at this question, he felt the need to announce it timidly now. Drew was dominating the dynamic between them. The barman and occasional artist was winning. Lee didn’t care.
“Shocker.” Closer again. “That’s sexy. You can argue for hours then?” Drew pushed himself in front of Lee, legs now touching. Lee found himself against the fence.“You win a lot don’t you? I can tell. In the court room and in life. You’ve never been told you’re not a winner?” Drew was attracted. They hadn’t established preference but something told him Lee wasn’t here just to pass time.
Lee’s breathing became rapid, he tried his best to hide it. Something told him, Drew, this wild cat, smelt nerves. He decided he’d square up and equal Drew’s intensity or at least try to. “No. Actually I haven’t.” He had to swallow hard.
Drew came forward and ran a thumb over Lee’s lip. “I studied you and your brothers today. You have such beautiful lips. From your father’s side. You all have bristly chins too. Must feel fantastic between a woman’s thighs or a man’s cheeks. I bet Jamie is red raw, the lucky boy.” Drew dropped his thumb to Lee’s chin and along his Adam’s apple. Lee’s mouth went slack. A slight gasp. Drew chuckled. Sensing the tension in Lee.
Lee had his arms splayed out either side. The energy he’d mustered to match Drew’s was quickly disappearing. He wasn’t sure he was inviting him in or paralysed. “You like the way I look?” Another gulp.
“Yeah. And feel.” Drew pushed his body against Lee’s. “Hard as nails.”
“What? I’m…”
“Your body. Dirty bastard.” Drew smirked.
Lee laughed goofily. “Shit I’m sorry, that was pres…”
“Presumptive? Yes. But.” Drew let his hand brush Lee’s crotch. “Presumption is just your mouth beating your mind to it. Your mind knows what it really wants but is scared to ask for it.” Drew spoke in a whisper. His breath so close. Lee could feel its humidity fall on his lip. “Are you scared of me Lee?”
“Should I be?” Lee let his legs widen. A hand reached all the way round almost to his behind and back up to his chest. He gasped but didn’t flinch.
“I don’t know. Maybe? Admit it. You don’t know what to think of me. But you sense a connection. That’s why you’re out here with me and missing your brother’s million pound wedding.” Drew put an arm either side of Lee. Cornered.
“Kiss me.” Lee lost control.
“Times up.” Drew ran his thumb over his lips and pressed it against Lee’s, leaving a tentative trace of himself and walked away, flicking his cigarette to the floor.
Lee was still for a moment. Not angry he’d asked for a kiss from a barman or a man for that matter, but angry he didn’t get one. That one.
Lee picked up the cigarette and looked at the filter. Still wet from Drew. He put it to his lips. He wasn’t sure if the rush he felt was from Drew or the nicotine.
Making his way back, glancing at Drew, he was busy with guests, his trance was interrupted.
“Lee! Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. I just wanted to say thank you for today.” Jamie hugged him. “Have you had a cigarette? Wow. It’s definitely a day of firsts.”
“Hello brother in law.” Lee grabbed his shoulders. “Got a minute?” Ignoring Jamie’s observation.
“Of course. Want to step out for a moment? The noise is almost overwhelming me anyway.” Jamie was surprised but embraced the welcoming energy. Grab it while you can, Lee was like a swinging door in a high wind; It’ll slam shut eventually.
They moved out toward the main house and sat on the steps overlooking the marquee.
“Are you ok? You seem dazed. Not taken a pill have you? I bet they’re doing the rounds in there.” Jamie nudged his arm and smirked.
“God no. Absolutely not. I just wanted to say I really am sorry for always judging you. You’re a great guy and an asset to our family. I feel like you’ve made an impression on all of us. I’m going to work on opening up a little. Maybe I can find what you two have eventually.” The short moment with Drew made him think hard. Why was he so happy being alone when moments like that were out there for him to experience.
“Has Lee started to grow a heart? Well a wedding is the best place to find a beautiful woman, Lee. There’s plenty here.” Jamie tapped his shoulder. “I appreciate your words, Lee. I know my energy can be a little much at times, but I just want to be as accepted by you as everyone else in the family. My family for real now.” Jamie flicked his wedding finger. The platinum and diamonds could have sent signals into space. “Don’t be hard on yourself. You’ll find her and in the mean time, have fun doing it.” Jamie winked.
Lee laughed flatly as he saw Dean approach them.
“Babe, I’ve been trying to find you. It’s time. Our first dance.” Dean appeared, wide eyed. A champagne mist in his eyes.
“Husband duties call, Lee. You’ll find her. I’m sure of it.” He got up and took Dean’s hand.
“Catch you later Lee.” Dean shouted over his shoulder. “I need to dance with my husband!”
Lee smiled. His little brother walking so proudly with the love of his life. All these people in the world and they found each other. Was it too much to comprehend that he could allow himself to find something like that? If he didn’t look for it, allow it to happen, as Jamie said last year, he’d always be over here while everyone else was over there. For the first time in forty two years he was being honest with himself. He got up and went back to the party. He wouldn’t be looking for a woman. Maybe a certain barman.
Birds flyin’ high….
Nina’s voice cast a silence over the marquee as Jamie and Dean approached the dance floor.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Arden-Archers to the floor for their first dance.” The planner announced overhead.
Dean held out his right arm, Jamie took it with his left. A firm hand slipped to Jamie’s waist under his jacket. Slipping further to his behind. Deliberately. Dean’s hunger was rising. Their hips tight. Almost as one. Jamie placed a hand around the back of Dean’s neck. Resisting the urge to climb it into Dean’s hair and pull his face to his. They moved. Glided. Eyes locked. If guests could lip read. They’d wish they hadn’t.
And I’m feeling good.
Those chords, pushing them together. The music was their bodies later that night. Sliding powerfully together. They both felt the heat between them. Dean’s lips parted and went to Jamie’s ear. “You’re going to scream my name tonight. My new name. In full. Then I’ll know today has been a success. My mouth is exploring every part of my husband when I get you alone. You like my stubble all over you? Prepare to be burned.” Dean’s hand slipped to the fullness of Jamie’s cheek, wrapped in McQueen. He pushed Jamie away into a spin and back. Jamie crashed against his chest.
“Burn me. Burn all of me. I’m your match. Your equal. Make me scream our name.” Jamie whispered. He’s fingers to claws on the back of Dean’s neck.
Dean let his thumb slip into Jamie’s waistband. Inching closer to his favourite place.
“Oh baby.” Dean’s smile was hungry.
“Can Big Boy hold on?” Jamie kissed him hard.
“Don’t make me wait too long.” The threat was heavy. Hot. Dean’s eyes were full of a lust. “Don’t test me.”
Jamie smirked. “You love to chase me.”
They slammed together and kissed as the song concluded, turned and bowed. Smiling brightly. Filthy words falling all around them for only them to hear, like the confetti of earlier.
“Oh Audrey, imagine the sweet nothings they whispered to each other while they danced?” Martha lightly grabbed Audrey’s shoulders.
Lars and Harry overheard the innocent statement and laughed, knowing full well what would have been exchanged. Both of them had witnessed Jamie and Dean on many a dance floor. They weren’t fools.
The dance floor filled with everyone else and they both parted to dance with their mothers. Glancing at each other. Their verbal foreplay still heavy in the air between them.
A little while later, Jamie needed to clear his head and sought Earl out. He reached for Dean’s hand. “Come see Earl with me. We need to speak to him. I have to know he’s ok.”
“You’re the boss.”
“Earl!” Jamie ran and hugged him. His assistant Paul at his side. “Paul, good to see you too. Have you enjoyed yourselves?”
“Jamie, we’ve had a ball. Thank you for inviting us. It’s been such a treat to visit such a beautiful part of England. London tomorrow for a few days before we head home. All thanks to your husband.” Earl looked up at Dean and smiled intensely.
“Fantastic. Soak it all up. There’s ugly parts to this country but if you have patience, there’s beauty in it too.” Jamie smiled and rubbed his palm. “I hope you’re proud.”
“Of course. Your day has been a love letter to Danny all over again. He’d have adored this and you.”
“That poem was so profound. Makes you really think about what’s important. This man here.” Jamie grabbed Dean’s hand. “What did Dean do that you’re thankful for? I just want to understand?”
Earl looked at Dean and Dean shrugged in permission. “It’s OK Earl. I did it happily and I should be transparent with him.”
“Earl, what?” Jamie’s eyes narrowed.
“Alright. Not that you probably need a reason to love this man more, but he’s been an angel.” Earl shifted. “I don’t have the resources to support myself and keep Paul as my live in assistant, fly here and cover my medical bills back home. America is brutal when you’re old.” Earl laughed flatly.
Jamie began to smile. He didn’t need more reasons but he had a funny feeling he was about to be given one.
“Dean persisted after we met last time. Email after email. I eventually responded. He has the patience of a saint and eventually we called. Dean got to know about my current life. The state of it. Jamie, Dean’s become a sponsor of sorts. He sourced and funded Paul’s help, paid for me to get here for your day, London for the next few days as you jet off on honeymoon, and my medical bills. I haven’t seen an invoice in the last few months. I protested and protested but he wore me down. He’s magnificent as you say.” Earl looked up at Dean again. Squinting slightly. Dean shone in front of him.
Jamie’s mouth was agape. He expected nothing less of his husband. But hearing of his actions was moving. Dean’s hand went to the back of Jamie’s head. “Jamie, you had a connection with Earl. I had to make it happen for you.”
Jamie looked up at him. “You really are magnificent. Dean I don’t deserve you. Thank you for being so kind.” Jamie clutched a hand to Dean’s waist.
“I’d do it again tomorrow to make a difference in Earl’s life and to see that smile on your face again.” Dean reached down, cupped Jamie’s chin in his hand and kissed him.
“Earl, I need to steal my husband away. Take care and enjoy everything London has to offer. You’re a good friend.” Dean held out a hand and Earl pulled him in for a hug.
“Jamie, have a wonderful life. You deserve it. I’m happy to have been in it only briefly but that’s the important part. We met. We shared precious moments. It doesn’t matter how frequent. They happened. They shaped us.”
Jamie held him for a moment. “Thank you for being here. You’re absolutely right. They have shaped us. I’ll carry you and Danny with me always.” Jamie kissed his forehead and a smile lingered before they went back into their party. Jamie was overwhelmed with a stunned pride, Dean, the effort, the selflessness, the persistence. And the thought that made him have to concentrate on breathing, would he see Earl again? He knew Earl would encourage him to do so, so he grabbed his husband’s hand and didn’t let go for the rest of the evening.
They smiled and ran guests by their plans to travel Europe for a few weeks from the following week. Exotic sports cars would take them through Italy and Hugo’s yacht would take them through the Mediterranean.
They arrived in their room in the early hours. Dean’s of years gone by. They said nothing. There was nothing else to say. It was all done. This was them now, for the rest of their lives. The embers of the night were witness to their hours long marathon. They’d always been territorial in their bedroom politics. Presenting as polished and together in every other part oft heir lives, masks slipped and their raw appetites possessed them when alone. Bites left marks. Slaps stung. Hands dug into muscle. Mouths locked on mouths. Climaxes were a victory that night and their new names were screamed. In full.
