Intersex: Noun
1: a term used to describe people who are born with biological sex characteristics that don’t fit the binary of male or female. These characteristics can include reproductive organs, anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes. Intersex traits may be apparent at birth, or they may not appear until puberty or adulthood.
Ash
I closed and locked the door to our apartment, then sagged back against it with a sigh of relief. Daddy and BA set off on the next leg of their vacation and I was still processing what happened since last night.
I strode down the hall past my room and found the boys in the living room. Alejo sat in the center of the sofa with his arms outstretched across the back, his head pillowed back, eyes closed, and his legs stretched out under the coffee table. Trevor cuddled at his side with a cheek resting on Alejo’s shoulder.
Jealousy struck so hard and so fast that I gasped in surprise. I drew to an abrupt halt to examine this new development.
Was I jealous of Alejo for cuddling with MY Trevor? There was a little of that. We hadn’t had time alone since we decided that we were boyfriends.
Was I jealous of Trevor for being where I belonged? There was some truth to that. He hadn’t been home a day yet and Trevor was already climbing Alejo like a ladder.
Was I jealous that the two of them were leaving me out? How could that be when we only just got home? They had just enough time to flop down on the sofa while I locked the door. None of these scenarios felt right. I set all of this in motion. I talked it out with each of them and everyone was having a great time–or so I thought.
They picked up without me, why wouldn’t they? Trevor and Alejo were gorgeous and confident young men while I was just–me. They had a lot of experience as lovers while I was nearly virginal. What did they see in me? What could they possibly want? Why did they bother with me when they had each other? The kitties in my brain found a stash of crystal meth and now they were zooming all over my skull, making a hell of a mess, litter box be damned. I must have stood still too long, lost in a downward spiral of clashing thoughts and low self-esteem when movement caught my attention.
Alejo did not move from his place on the sofa save for a finger crooked in my direction, beckoning me forth. I took a steadying breath and cuddled beside him, facing Trevor, my cheek on Alejo’s opposite shoulder. I had no idea how long we rested like that before Trevor huffed with amusement, “Hey, Alli-Joe, I think this fell off your hose!”
“Oh, my god!” I burst out laughing.
“In her defense, it did.” Alejo deadpanned. That only stoked up the hilarity until all of the shock and tension from this morning poured out of us as cleansing laughter. The mood settled to a companionable quiet with Trevor and I holding hands across Alejo’s belly. He gazed into my eyes with such contentment. I knew then that I made a good decision. It might have been unconventional and certainly not a topic for polite conversation but it didn’t need to be. It only needed to be right for us.
“What was that, babe?” Trevor asked. It took a moment before I realized that I spoke a thought aloud.
“Any regrets?”
“About…?” Trevor led me to say more.
“About coming back,” I started, “about last night, about anything?” I grew pensive as I asked, still waiting for the other shoe to drop and ruin everything.
“I don’t, but then I don’t overthink things like you do.” His eyes crinkled mischievously at me and I swatted at him. He swatted at me. We went back and forth like a couple of kids until Alejo growled at us. Trevor squeezed my hand.
“Seriously,” he asked. “How are you holding up? A lot has happened in the last twelve hours.”
I swallowed anxiously. I knew better than to lie. I was terrible at it and I never wanted to lie to people that I–that I cared about–that I loved? These feelings were so intense and so new, I had no idea what I felt. I knew only that Trevor was precious to me. I didn’t want anything to threaten that.
“I-I’m scared,” I confessed. “What if they tell Seth? What if word of what we did gets out back home?”
“So, what if it does? Are you ashamed of what we did last night?” Now it was Trevor’s turn to look pensive.
“I–” I paused. “Well, no… I guess it depends on if I screwed up. Last night was my idea.”
“How could you have screwed up?” Trevor asked.
“I guess–if you were hurt or upset.”
“I’m totally good, what about you?” Trev poked Alejo in the belly.
“Hmm–?” He roused.
“How do you feel about what we did last night?” Trevor prompted.
Alejo caressed our arms with his eyes still closed. His lips spread in a sleepy smile as he spoke. “Keep playing with my belly hair and you’ll find out.”
Trev and I looked down. Alejo’s shirt rode up his belly a few inches and I absentmindedly teased the short little hairs that trailed from his belly button to the waistband of his running shorts. I yanked back with a gasp and apologized. Alejo raised his head as if the effort of doing so affronted his dignity. He peered at me with an expression of feline pique. “I didn’t say ‘stop’” he grumbled.
I broke into a little smile and resumed teasing his belly hair. He settled into a state of drowsy contentment once more.
“Um, you didn’t answer,” I ventured timidly.
“About what?” Alejo extended in a mighty, full body stretch, then flopped in a boneless heap of comfort. His shirt rode higher on his belly, revealing the cobblestone bricks of muscle beneath. I got the distinct impression that he was trying to seduce us with minimal effort.
“How do you feel about what we did last night?” I pushed on determinedly.
“I liked it. I’m down for more but if we’re doing more, I might need to step out to pick up more condoms.”
“But, what if BA and Daddy tell Seth what we did?” I pressed.
“So, what if they do? Last I checked it was legal to have sex.”
“Yeah, but they’re like family. I don’t want them to be disappointed in me.” I fretted.
Alejo pushed off the sofa and headed for the front door. He opened it but paused a moment before he left. He looked back at me. “Ash, you can’t go through life worrying about what others think about you. At some point you’re going to have to decide to be yourself and live your own life. Besides, isn’t that what Seth and everyone else wants for you? Figure out what you want. I’m going to the store.” he shut the door and was gone.
Trevor fell back on the sofa and tugged me until I cuddled in his lap. It wasn’t 2:00 o’clock yet and I felt tired. I listened to his heart beat and nearly fell asleep when I heard his voice. “You never answered the question.”
“It was my idea,” I nestled under his chin.
“So, what? You can regret a decision.”
“I don’t regret what we did” –and I didn’t.
“But…?” Come on, I can hear a huge ‘but’ in there.” I hid my eyes against his neck, hoping he might give up. He bounced me in his lap until I almost fell off.
“It’s just me overthinking again. I’m trying to get past it!” I finally groused.
“You never get past anything. It eats at you until you have a panic attack. Out with it, talk to me.” He squeezed me tight and I silently cursed him. He knew how compression worked on me. I immediately relaxed and my thoughts grew blissfully calm. God, how I loved this man.
“Why do you want me?” I asked in a small, shaky voice.
“Because I do,” he answered simply. “I love spending time with you. I love watching you when you aren’t looking. I love the kind of man I become when we’re together. I love waking up next to you. I’m the luckiest man in the world because I know what it takes for you to let me in.” I drew back as he smiled. “You have no idea how beautiful you are. It’s part of what makes you so special.”
“Stop–!” I hid in his neck, blushing to the roots of my hair. I hated how my Carolina accent turned “stop” into a long, drawn out, two-syllable word. Trevor chuckled at my discomfiture. Still, I had to know.
“You could get all of that and more with Alejo. You don’t need me anymore.”
“Jesus, baby,” he tightened his hug. “Why are you so cruel to yourself? I’m not with you for what I can ‘get,’ I’m with you because of who you are. I love you. I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.”
“I’m sorry, my brain is broken.” I cringed.
“Your brain isn’t broken. There isn’t anything wrong with you. You’ve been through hell and it’s gonna take time to heal. That’s why I want you to talk to me. It helps.”
“Is your little brother like this?” I wondered. He mentioned how I reminded him of his little brother, Jeremy. Trevor seemed to think it over.
“In some ways,” he confided. “Jer didn’t have the life you had. He’s cocky and full of himself. He’s only 13 but he has a huge following on social media. He champions big causes like saving the environment and protecting endangered species but he gets easily overstimulated. It’s like the world becomes too much to take in and he can’t handle it. Compression helps calm him down. Sometimes he needs to lay in a dark, quiet place until he can sort things out.”
Trev met my gaze. “That’s how I know to ask when you’ve been through a lot–how I know to squeeze you so your brain calms down. You haven’t done anything wrong and no, I’m not going to dump you for Alejandro. Besides, I think he is into you as much as I am.”
“Yeah, right!” I snorted incredulously. “Alejo could be a supermodel! He can have any man he wants. I’m just a small, skinny femboy.”
“Believe what you want but I know better.” He smirked. I bumped him with my elbow but without any heat. Something Trevor said stuck with me and finally slipped past my lips.
“What if Alejo is as into me like you are? What if he is into you for more than just sex?”
“What if he is–into both of us, I mean? Is that a bad thing?”
I felt heat rise in my cheeks at the thought. “You mean, the three of us–together?”
“Ash, I never saw you take to anyone like you took to Alejo that first day we arrived. It normally takes a while for you to open up to someone new. You climbed Alejo like a tree.”
“Oh, my god! I did not! –did I?” I hid behind my hands.
Trev laughed. “Don’t feel bad! I was right behind you.”
“You would be okay if we–with Alejo?” I couldn’t utter the words. The possibility of that happening was too weird and too hot to take seriously. Trevor thought about it.
“Let’s just say I’m keeping an open mind. It’s really up to him. He might just think of us as a convenient piece of ass. Guys like him like their freedom.” Trevor’s eyes sparkled. “Maybe we can convince him that he doesn't need to leave home to get what he wants.”
“What do you mean?” I could not believe I was entertaining this idea but I leaned closer to hear it out.
Trevor waggled his eyebrows cleverly. “Simple, we keep his balls drained and him happy until he is too lazy and content to slut around.”
“Have you seen the size of his balls, Trevor? He might drown us!” I scoffed at the enormity of the challenge and Trevor laughed.
“What a way to go, right? I mean, what could it hurt? If he isn’t into us, everyone still has a good time.”
“Shouldn’t we tell him what we’re up to? This seems kind of sus.”
“That will just scare him off. Besides, nothing more might come from it than getting laid. Let’s just keep it to ourselves–at least for now. What do you think?” Trevor asked.
“Ever the schemer,” I teased him. “Just to be clear, we’re talking about more than just sex–we want to be in a relationship with Alejo, grow old together, have a home, and family?”
“If that is what he wants too, why not?”
“I heard threesomes never work and besides, I’m having enough trouble figuring out how a twosome works. Aren’t we enough?” I wondered.
“We are,” Trevor assured me. “All I’m saying is to be open to the possibility.”
“Right now, I want to focus on just the two of us. We haven’t had time alone together since you got back.”
“That sounds good.” We lay down in my room, cuddling and kissing until we fell asleep.
I texted Alejo and left my bedroom door open so that he knew he could come inside once he got home. He woke us with a light rap on the door. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and beheld the spectacle that was Alejo wearing sexy dark sunglasses, an open front, breezy white linen beach robe, and a shimmery, electric blue swim thong. He carried a rolled towel in one hand.
“I’m headed to the pool if you want to come with,” he said.
“In March?” I screwed up my eyes skeptically. He snorted in reply.
“We aren’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. The weather here is beautiful from October to April. It’s too hot to swim outside here in the summer.”
“I’m in!” Trevor rolled from the bed with enthusiasm, shedding clothes in every direction. I remembered my talk with Trevor earlier about keeping Alejo happy and satisfied and bounced to my feet. I hooked my arms around his neck and pulled him down for what I intended to be a playful peck on the lips, but what turned into a steamy lip lock. He wrapped me in his big strong arms and lifted me off the floor. His sexy growl filled me with pleasant shivers.
“It’s a good thing I bought extra condoms” he flashed a wolfish gleam. Trevor perked up at that.
“Speaking of,” he started, “Alejo, when was the last time you got tested?”
I wondered what Trevor was up to but Alejo answered readily. “January, and I’m clean if you want to see my lab report. I’m on PReP too.”
“Cool, and you use condoms with everyone?” Trevor continued this strange line of inquiry.
“Religiously,” Alejo nodded.
“Music to my ears, dude.” Trevor beamed salaciously. “Ash, as you know, was a virgin until last night and I got tested last December when Seth sent me to see a doctor. I’m taking PReP too. What do you say about using condoms outside of the apartment but at home, between us, we go bareback?”
“Would somebody speak English?” I looked back and forth between them. “What is PReP and what do you mean by ‘bareback’?’”
“PReP is ‘Pre-exposure Prophylaxis.’” Alejo explained. “It’s a drug that blocks HIV infection by 99%. ‘Bareback’ is gay slang, it means your boyfriend wants to ditch the condoms when we fuck. I’ll consider it but only because you guys are Villagers.” He looked down at me and I got lost in the color of his eyes, deep brown circles with rays of golden amber, framed by thick black lashes. It seemed to my artistic eye that I peered into the gaze of a great cat, like a mountain lion; a fiercely independent creature, wild and free, untamed, untethered by the demands of others.
I also saw a hint of sorrow in his eyes and I could not for the life of me understand why it weighed on his heart. Alejo held the world in the palm of his hands. No fate lay barred to him, he could be anything he chose. He brought me back to myself with a tender smile. “Is that what you want, Princess?”
“Me–?” I spoke as if in a dream. He chuckled affectionately and caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Do you want me to stop wearing condoms when we’re together?”
My eyes grew wide with astonishment that a man of Alejo’s caliber asked such a question of me. My cheeks burned with how small and inadequate I felt. Alejo stripped my soul bare with his eyes. I couldn’t recall a time when I felt more exposed, more vulnerable. I averted my gaze, “D-Do you want to?”
His smile turned gentle. He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip, sending pleasant shivers down my spine. “Yeah, I do. What about you? It’s a huge responsibility. I’m literally putting my health in your hands. Do you want it, knowing all that comes with it?”
I gave a stilted nod, unable to bear the intimacy of his gaze but Alejo tipped my chin with a finger, forcing me to stare into his eyes. “Use your words, Princess. This decision is too important for a nod.”
I took a deep breath and mustered my courage. “Yes, I want you to stop using condoms but only when we’re together. I promise to do the same. I’ll also ask my doctor about taking PReP.”
“Okay,” Alejo agreed. “No more condoms between us.”
The three of us sealed our pact with a kiss.
A little while later we played grabass in the pool with Trevor daring Alejo to throw him. It was tough to do and comical to watch but personally, I think it was just an excuse for Alejo to manhandle Trev and they were both into it.
Neither Trevor nor I owned swimsuits (hey, it was still winter in North Carolina), so we opted for gym shorts. The problem with that was how easily they slid off in the water. I spent half my time holding up my pants. That made me an easy target for rascally horndogs looking to strip me underwater. The worst happened when Alejo hoisted me up with one hand and threw me. I splashed down on my back. My legs functioned like the arm of a mighty trebuchet, catapulting my shorts high in the air across the pool. They hit the concrete by the far lounge chairs with a resounding splat, much to the guffawing delight of my roommates. Thankfully, the young mom and kids sharing the pool with us left a while ago.
I breached the surface naked and swearing like a peg-legged preacher which only spurred my tormentors to laugh harder.
I hissed, trying to be loud enough for them to hear while quiet enough that the whole apartment complex didn’t know about my predicament. “Can you get my shorts please?”
Trevor sat on the side of the pool dangling his feet in the water while Alejo treaded water at my back. The former looked expectantly at Alejo. “Don't look at me. You threw him -er- them.”
“You’re closer, and already out of the water.” Alejo pointed out. I grew redder by the second.
“If one of you doesn’t get my shorts–Right. Fucking. Now–then I’m sleeping alone in the big bed tonight!”
“Ooh, feisty! Meow!” Trevor made cat claw gestures at me until the heat of my glare drove him to his feet to go get my shorts, still giggling. I gasped with surprise as Alejo pulled me back against him. He wrapped me in his powerful arms and whispered huskily next to my ear.
“You’ve never gone skinny dipping?”
“No.” I leaned back until I felt his lips against my neck. My body pressed into his kisses while my mouth tried to be responsible. “Alejo, don’t, somebody might come, they’ll see.”
“The risk is part of the fun.” Alejo chuckled. “You know, now that we aren’t using condoms anymore, we can have all kinds of fun.”
“L-Like?” I stuttered as he licked my ear.
“Like….” He drew out the word, “I can fuck you right here and now.”
I uttered a sound akin to a nervous, confused little animal as Alejo took my achingly hard cock in his grip. My eyes fluttered shut as I rested my head back against his shoulder. Alejo moved on from kissing to sucking on my throat. His voice rumbled with satisfaction. “I see you like that idea.”
“Alejo….” I whined pitiably. “No, please, I don’t want to tell Seth why he’s bailing me out of jail!”
Even as I said that my hand rested on top of Alejo’s, encouraging him to stroke me. He nipped my earlobe just hard enough to shoot thrilling tingles to my brain. The water around us grew warmer as my resolve crumbled.
“You don’t sound convincing.” Alejo purred. I heard a splash at the end of the pool and the water stirred as someone, I assumed Trevor approached from below. It could have been the Pope for all I cared at that moment. –ew, bad brain kitties, bad! No thinking about papal nudity!
Anyway, my eyes shot open when Trevor’s hands slid up my thighs to meet Alejo’s pumping fist. Alejo released my cock and a sucking mouth replaced it.
I brayed loudly with surprise, which quickly transformed into a low, throaty moan as my lusty harpoon battled the tenacious tentacles of Trevor’s tongue. The battle was short-lived but fierce and woefully one-sided. I prepared to blow the ballast of my balls when Trev chased his bubbles to the surface. Our lips crashed together with breathless ardor while Trevor put his buoyancy to use.
My crafty boyfriend wrapped his legs around my waist. Once there, he dug his heels into Alejo’s ass flesh. I now floated, trapped, between two men who ravished me, as well as each other, with kisses.
All the while, Trevor ground his nude torpedo against mine, driving recklessly to set off explosions in both of us. Not to be outdone, Alejo rose like a kraken from the deep to clutch me from behind. His licentious assault, combined with Trevor's relentless passion, battered my restraint until it collapsed. I yielded with an ecstatic cry, my cock jettisoning my essence like life’s blood into the water. My lovers followed suit until we three cleaved to each other, lost souls tossed asunder by stormy seas. Mercifully, all storms passed and we settled, cast adrift in the calm seas of satisfaction.
“You guys are corrupting me.” I murmured drowsily.
“Having regrets?” Trevor pulled back to look me in the eye. I shook my head.
“No, I feel like I’m playing hooky. It was risky but fun!”
“This is what it means to own your life, Ash.” Alejo floated on his back. “Every moment is an opportunity. You can make the most of it or let life pass you by.”
“What if we were caught?” I wondered aloud.
Alejo shrugged. “A resident might complain to the front office. They might spread rumors that we were dirty sluts–”
“Good, that’s free advertising.” Trevor interrupted.
“I don’t need to advertise, I’m overbooked already,” Alejo snorted. “Anyway, my point: everything worth having comes with cost. Decide if what you want is worth the cost. If it is, go for it and don't look back.”
“Have you ever been caught?” I asked. Alejo took a long time to answer. I was about to apologize when he interrupted me.
“I got caught a couple of times and it cost more than I expected both times. That doesn’t mean I should stop pushing my limits or testing my boundaries. It means I have to get better at assessing cost. I need to take others into account when my actions impact them. There is a whole world out there and I want as much of it as I can get.”
I swam over to Alejo and gave him a peck on the lips. “Thank you for taking time to explain it to me.”
A little color rose in his cheeks as he smiled. “Hey, we’re Villagers, right? We take care of each other.”
He was right and I felt good about that.
AUTHOR NOTE: No two intersex people are alike. Ash’s symptoms reflect the experience of one person save where mentioned.
SPECIAL NOTE: I write in an imaginary world where sexually transmitted diseases do not exist. Sadly, they do in the real world. Stay safe. PrEP before you play and glove it before you love it.
