Intersex: Noun
1: a term used to describe people who are born with biological sex characteristics that don’t fit the binary of male or female. These characteristics can include reproductive organs, anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes. Intersex traits may be apparent at birth, or they may not appear until puberty or adulthood.
Ash
I lay on my side in bed, my head resting on a soft pillow, my gaze riveted as Alejo’s massive cock pumped rhythmically in and out of my boyfriend’s ass. Trevor lay prostrate, ass upturned, his elbows hooked around Alejo’s wrists. He gazed at me, his eyes glassy with lust, his mouth open, whimpering like a puppy with every slap of Alejo’s balls against his taint.
Meanwhile, Alejo braced as if doing pushups. His arms bulged with muscle while his hips pumped with feverish abandon. The Mexican stud launched a brutal downstroke and held it, grinding mercilessly against his lover’s hole. Trevor wailed, his eyes rolling back in his head with exquisite rapture. “Oh fuck, ‘LEJO!!!”
My gaze flicked to Alejo. He was looking at me with voracious intensity. I shivered under the power of his stare. He wanted so very badly to do this to me. He wanted both of his lovers to scream his name in glorious ecstasy. My eyes stayed locked with his. I remembered a time recently when I shivered under his gaze. I remembered aching deep in my core for him to stretch me, to fill me to the brim with cock, to crush all pretense at civility from me, to strip my nerves raw until only a whimpering, needy animal remained. I remembered that wild side he tore from me but that was all that remained–a memory.
He continued watching me as he bent down to bite the back of Trevor’s neck. My boyfriend hitched his breath with delight and squirmed uncontrollably. “Fuck me, fuck me; oh god, fuck me!” He babbled breathlessly. I mouthed the words alongside him trying desperately to reclaim the passion that until recently blazed like an all-consuming conflagration between us but all that remained were chill ashes of a past stolen from me.
I kissed my finger and pressed it to Alejo’s lips. He sucked it between his lips, then nibbled lightly with his teeth. I brought my finger back and popped it in my mouth. Alejo grinned salaciously, rearing back and slamming into Trevor’s tight little hole hard enough to rattle the bed against the wall. If that failed to wake the neighbors then Trevor’s full-throated shout sure as hell would.
I witnessed their passion and felt… nothing. I tried so hard to be part of this precious moment but… nothing. My cock lay limp against my thigh. I breathed slowly and evenly. I sensed no stirring in my loins, no arousal of any kind. My only physical reaction, painful prickling, like someone ran a rolling pin impregnated with sewing needles across my chest and neck. My temperature would spike soon, my heart would hammer in my chest after that. Without male hormones in my blood I lacked any kind of sexual reaction. Klinefelter Syndrome rendered me inert, impassive, impotent. I looked up at a sudden sound.
Trevor cried out “I’m gonna cum!” he seized his cock as Alejo launched a flurry of quick, rutting jabs. Surprisingly, Trevor pulled away to stand on his knees next to me. Alejo smirked at him but joined at his side a moment later, stroking his massive missile into a fiery takeoff.
I lay back, confused until my lovers ejaculated all over my face and chest. Well, Trevor did; Alejo always shot like a pressure hose. He spattered me with long, glistening ropes of manly moisture from my hair and face, down my neck, then dribbled a wet line all the way down my belly to my coppery pubes. Hell, he shot some up my nose much to Trevor’s giggling amusement.
“ACK!” I coughed and sputtered indignantly. “What the hell, y’all? Gross!”
“Take it easy, Princess. We’ve got you covered.” Trevor snickered at his own joke. He ticked an eyebrow at Alejo, they nodded in silent agreement, then they proceeded to lick me clean, sharing the taste with me in deep, dirty kisses.
Okay, this is nice. I thought. I felt nothing sexually but I wallowed in their attention like a queen cat in heat.
Trevor eventually procured a pack of baby wipes to clean up any lingering stickiness. Once we finished he lay supine and drew my head to rest on his shoulder while Alejo spooned me from behind.
“Thanks guys, I needed that, badly” Trevor purred with contentment as he cuddled with me, his blood bubbling beatifically with yummy “feel good” endorphins.
“Me too,” Alejo circled my waist with a big, strong arm while resting his chin at the back of my neck. He kissed my nape tenderly, “I love you.”
“I love you both.” I said. I listened as their breaths slowed in the evenness of sleep. Only then did I allow my tears to trickle.
They tried so hard to include me. I just couldn’t tell them that it was all in vain. As the night wore on my restless brain kitties got the damn zoomies.
I felt nothing sexually, was there nothing between us outside of sex? If so, what happened now that I felt nothing? What happened after I got my hormones back? Did I stay with them knowing that our only connection was sexual? Was that fair to them–to me? I remembered how deeply I felt before getting sick. I needed them both more than breathing. They completed me, moreso since Alejo said the magic words I never expected to hear from him. I knew what it took for a man like him to say I love you. He looked so vulnerable, so afraid. I wanted to wrap my heart around his like a suit of armor and protect it from a cold, cruel world.
Were my feelings only because of how he made me feel sexually? Did I imprint on him in some kind of arbitrary biological bonding process? That possibility filled me with dread. I couldn’t lose Trevor and Alejo. They were my only link back to my happier, healthier self. I vowed to make them happy no matter what it took. I couldn’t lose them–I couldn’t! Eventually, my body gave out and I fell into a troubled sleep.
The phone rang bright and early Saturday morning. It was Shea. She asked to be put on speaker phone. “You said that you had a physical copy of your medical record?” She asked to which I replied in the affirmative. “Good, bring it.” She chirped cheerfully. “Take a shower and get dressed sicky-boy, because you are going to see the doctor!”
“Fuck yeah!” Trevor cheered. “Shea, if you weren’t a girl I’d kiss you!”
“Well, then pucker up, Romeo!” She laughed. The look on his face was priceless.
“Wait, what–?” He blurted and I laughed harder. Shea took perverse delight in his discomfiture. She asked me how he looked and I replied with all of the detail an artist like me saw. Trevor grumbled but then got a self-effacing smile.
“You aren’t a girl, Shea?” He asked point-blank. She did not seem put off when she replied.
“I’m intersex like Ash, remember? Well, not exactly like Ash. Genetically I am XY. I’m as much a guy as you are except that, for some reason medical science has yet to figure out, my body does not recognize the presence of male hormones. Because of this I developed like a woman–well, mostly.
I cringed inside as Trevor kept pushing, “mostly? What does that mean?” He said. I loved him but my boyfriend had few filters and less tact. Shea pushed back but she sounded more amused than put off.
“It’s a little complicated so bear with me.” She warned. “I developed like a woman but inside I’m a man. I have balls like you only they never dropped, they are inside my body like ovaries. I have to be careful because I can get a woman pregnant. Oh, and I was born without a vaginal opening so doctors cut one into me while I was a baby. It still hurts but thankfully they left the head of my dick intact. In many cases like mine they cut it off.”
“Jesus,” both Trevor and Alejo squirmed in sympathy. I felt it, too even after hearing the story so many times as I researched my situation.
“They cut you as a baby? Like surgery? Shit, I’m sorry, Shea. That shit is fucked up.” Trevor grew sad for baby Shea and I hugged him. I loved how he empathized with her and she voiced it too. Shea and I chose to sacrifice our privacy in order to educate others. It was cringe but necessary sometimes.
We met Shea downtown at an office in the medical complex. The office was dark and the doors were locked but a hunky young Latino guy in a powder blue polo shirt and white chino shorts let us in. “Asher, right? Shea said to look for a little guy with red hair. My name is Jaimé (1). Nice to meet you.”
“Thanks for seeing us, Doctor.” I said and Jaimé laughed.
“I’m the doctor’s office manager. I came in this morning to open up for you.”
I cringed at my mistake. “Oh, I am so embarrassed! I didn’t mean to make you come in on your day off!”
“Thank you but this isn’t our first time helping out a friend of Shea. It won’t be our last.” He winked at her and got busy.
I filled out paperwork while Jaimé copied my ID, insurance card, and medical record. Once back Jaimé took the clipboard and returned my items. “Take that with you when you see the doctor.” He instructed. “You won’t have to bring it to your future appointments. We’ll have you in our system by then. This way!”
He led us to a small examination room with one of those beds that could fold up into a chair. It was a bit cramped with me and Shea on the love seat and Alejo looking at anatomy posters. Trevor the busybody looked through the cabinets and took a tongue suppressor from a jar on the desk. He proceeded to deep throat the thing.
“What?” He grinned puckishly at our stern glares. “A guy’s got to stay in practice!”
“I'm not sure I want you kissing me. I don’t know where that mouth has been.” Shea wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“You have an idea, that is why you don’t want him kissing you.” Alejo smirked.
“You know and yet you kiss me,” Trevor beamed smugly at our roommate. I froze, Shea knew that Trevor and I were together but we never mentioned Alejo. I didn’t care if she knew but what about Alejo? He didn’t seem bothered when he took the tongue suppressor and patted Trevor’s lips with it.
I thought That isn't the save you think it is, Trevor. Think about who Alejo has kissed and where.
Everyone suddenly stared at me. I could have heard a pin hitting the floor in the silence and then it hit me. “Oh, shit, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
I cringed and braced for their rebuke when they cracked up laughing. I sat up, confused but grateful for the reprieve.
Trevor
I looked as maybe the hottest black man I had ever set eyes on stepped through the door wearing a white smock with an ID tag pinned to his placket.
I estimated him to be in his late 30s and tall as fuck, maybe a foot over my 5’8” (172 cm) and proportionately broad in the shoulders. He was built like a heavyweight prize fighter with creamy bronze skin, a low fade haircut, and a closely trimmed goatee. His eyes were pitch black in color and full of kindness. He had the kind of smile that caused me to smile back. He radiated an aura of friendliness. Gentle giant, came to mind.
I poured my gaze over a chest and shoulders stacked with muscle stretching a red T-shirt to the point of ripping. My eyes rested on a pair of pointy nipples that I wanted to suck on all night.
Speaking of sucking, he wore skimpy white mesh running shorts that left nothing to the imagination. He was big all over. I wanted to fall to my knees before him and say “Daddy” but he shook hands with Ash.
“You must be Asher, I’m Jake Millman.”
“Um, hi.” Ash seemed taken aback. He dropped their head timidly, appeared to catch themself, straightened up, smiled, and shook confidently. I was proud of them. Millman beamed in response.
“Thank you for seeing me, Doctor.” Ash greeted.
“I’m Jake, I only work as a doctor.” He gestured for Ash to sit on the table.
“We’re going to be talking about your private medical information. Are you okay having your friends here?” He asked.
“They know it all by now, it’s okay.” Ash nodded and Millman looked over his copy of Ash’s medical history.
“All right, two specialists back in North Carolina diagnosed you with Klinefelter Syndrome. That’s enough for me to go on for now but I still want to run my own tests to have on record. I note here that you were never genotyped.”
“Is that a problem?” Ash looked worried.
“It is the ‘smoking gun’ as it were–absolute, 100% certainty of the diagnosis. Your genotype might not be specifically XXY. It could be anything and some of the rarer types come with predispositions to look out for. I’d like to schedule you for an evaluation.”
“How much is it gonna cost?” Ash bit their bottom lip anxiously.
“You have the same insurance plan as Shae?” He turned his gaze to her.
“Yes, and my insurance covered the test. You’re fine, Ash.” She smiled soothingly. He let go with a sigh of relief.
“Okay, but can I get my shot before we do any testing?”
“Sure thing, I want to take some blood to establish a baseline before you go today, then have you back in two weeks to check your levels. Is that okay?” Ash nodded, smiling now that he knew he was getting his shot. Millman went over other stuff that was over my head until something he said caught my attention.
“Your CT scan is pretty old. I want to get an update and make sure your uterus and ovaries are stable. We might have to make adjustments to your treatment plan depending on whether your ovaries are active.”
Alejo and I shot bolt upright. “Wait, Ash has a uterus–like a woman?”
Ash braced, staring at the floor. Millman asked and Ash gave a jerky nod. The doctor answered me “He has a partial uterus with ovaries.”
“Can he get pregnant?” My mouth felt suddenly dry. How much of my sperm is swimming around inside them?
“There is no external connection but hypothetically speaking, if there was, and Ash’s ovaries were active, and you were in good health, there is a very good chance Ash could make you a happy father. As things stand now Ash can’t carry a child to term. He could donate an egg and have it fertilized with your sperm, then a surrogate can carry the baby to term but again, that depends on whether or not Asher’s ovaries are active.”
I tuned out after that. All I could think about was Ash and babies–having my babies. Not adopted, not a surrogate where only one of us was the father, but me and Asher having babies together.
I mean, I knew Asher was intersex but he looked like a guy, he had a cock and balls. It was easy to think that Klinefelter Syndrome was just a quirky thing that made Ash special. The two of us having babies with a surrogate, where we were both parents? Fuck, the idea scared the fuck out of me but at the same time my dick was so fucking hard it hurt! What did that say about me? What did it mean? I looked up at Alejo and he was giving Ash this intense fucking stare. I didn’t know what to make of it. Ash stared at the floor with a blank expression. That was not a good sign.
Millman took blood while Jaimé called in the testosterone prescription to Ash’s pharmacy. We thanked the doctor and Shea, then parted ways with us heading home.
We stopped by the pharmacy on the way home and they were still waiting on something called “prior authorization.”
“What does that mean?” I asked from the back seat. Ash looked ready to cry.
“Remember when I said that it might take weeks or months before I got my medicine–that. My insurance wants the doctor to submit all kinds of forms justifying why he is giving me a controlled substance.”
Don’t they already know?!?” I flailed angrily.
Ash slid down in their seat. “It doesn't matter. They pull this crap with every refill.”
“Call HR like Shea recommended.” Alejo spoke for the first time since leaving the doctor's office.
“That’ll be Monday.” Ash nodded glumly.
“That’s better than Thursday, right?” I looked at the bright side. Ash smiled and kissed their finger, touching it to my lips. I responded in kind since kissing proved to be awkward in the back seat.
Alejo reached to start the car but sat back abruptly. He stared at the steering wheel as he spoke. “Ash, why didn’t you tell us that you had a uterus? That–that you might be able to give us children?” He asked. Ash cringed and spoke in a small voice.
“I didn’t know I could. The doctor back in Wilmington told me the chances of having viable eggs was very low.”
“But it was still a possibility,” he pointed out. “I would like to have known. It means so much to me. I told you that I came from a big family. I resisted being gay because I wanted a big family of my own someday. The idea of being a gay man with another–for practical purposes–gay man and still have a glimmer of hope of having that family–a true, biological family with the man I love…Ash, it seems like the stuff of science fiction and yet here you are. This is–” his voice cracked with emotion. “Esto es un milagro. This is a miracle. Ash,” he took our sweet lover by the hand. “You are a miracle.”
Ash sniffed back tears. “You’re not mad at me?”
“No!” Alejo shook as if the idea was absurd. “Why would I be mad? This is amazing!”
Ash broke down with wracking sobs. “I was so scared! You’re gay, I thought maybe this might be too much, that you wouldn’t want me anymore! I mean, I’m already not putting out–” he bit off those last words. “I can’t lose you!” He wept.
I hated having important talks in the goddamn car! I climbed out and knelt beside Ash with the door open. I pulled them out and into my embrace. Alejo came around to join us, hugging on the sidewalk outside the pharmacy. We ignored as shoppers walked past us, staring.
I rubbed Ash’s back. “What is this about you not putting out?”
“I don’t feel anything when we’re–” he blushed beet red and lowered their voice. “If I don’t feel anything, maybe that was all there was between us and when I don’t put out, you might not want me anymore.”
“Ash, I think we need to spay and neuter your crazy brain kitties.” Alejo tightened his hug on both of us.
I added “Yeah, we really need to get those hormones in you because otherwise you would remember that I fell for you long before we had sex.”
“I came after but come on, I don’t do relationships and yet here we are.” Alejo glared at a couple that lingered a little too long to watch.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a mess. Why do you put up with me?” Ash took a box of tissues I found in the glove box.
“You’re my boyfriend and my best friend. You don’t have to ‘be’ or ‘do’ anything except be yourself.” I squeezed Ash by the shoulders.
“The same” Alejo did likewise. “I didn’t know what to expect when you moved in but now, I’m happy you’re here. Really, if anybody should ask why you put up with him it’s me and you know why.”
“You’re incredibly sweet and caring once you get a chance, Alejo. I think all anyone ever wanted from you was sex. Their loss because there is so much more to you.” Ash kissed him in a superb display of public affection.
“Maybe we should get on the road” Alejo saw a group of people brazenly watching us from nearby.
“Aw! Give them something to talk about” I waved at the crowd and kissed Ash.
“Get in the car, fool.” Alejo snorted. We piled into the silver Suburu and drove off.
“Hey!” I called out from the back seat. “We need to give your car a name.”
“How about we don’t and say we did.” Alejo grumbled.
“I know, how about that crazy dude who attacked windmills?” I waggled my eyebrows.
“No.” Alejo warned me but I was on a roll. Ash was grinning and that was enough for me to keep poking the bear.
“Ooh!” I slapped the back of the seat. “I got it! ‘El Condón Grande’ (2).”
“I will fucking end you, Trevor!” Alejo glared in the rearview mirror.
On and on we went. I loved my fucked up little family.
(1): pronounced HIGH-meh
(2): “The Big Condom”
AUTHOR NOTE: No two intersex people are alike. Ash’s symptoms reflect the experience of one person save where mentioned.
SPECIAL NOTE: I write in an imaginary world where sexually transmitted diseases do not exist. Sadly, they do in the real world. Stay safe. PrEP before you play and glove it before you love it.
