Kyle
I was putting the wrenches back in dad’s toolbox as he looked out from under the hood. He asked, “how did that go?”
I turned back to him, “how did what go?”
Dad chuckled, “you got Colby a new battery, didn’t you?”
I shrugged, “yeah, I guess.”
He asked, “what did he say?”
I said, “he sure didn’t say thank you.”
Dad wiped the grease from his hands as he walked toward me. “So, he was mad that you replaced the battery?”
I nodded, “he wanted to know why I would do anything nice for him now. The ungrateful bastard.”
Dad said, “don’t be so hard on him Kyle, you know how hard it has been on him since Gavin died, he’s still grieving.”
I rolled my eyes, “I’m still grieving too dad, hell, we all are.”
He nodded, “I know Kyle, but I think it’s a different grief. I know Gavin was like your brother, but his relationship with Colby is different. I think my grief would be a lot different if I lost my brother than if I lost your mom. I love them both, but your mother would definitely be harder for me to deal with. It doesn't mean your grief doesn’t count, it’s just different.”
I sighed, “I get that dad, but I was really just trying to help. I guess I was just hoping that I could make up for me not being very nice to him over the years.”
Dad asked, “I have always wondered what happened between you two. Why don’t you guys get along?”
I shrugged, “I don’t have a good reason, I just think I was jealous and thought Colby was coming between me and Gavin.”
Dad grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and handed me one. He said, “just let it go Kyle. You did a nice thing for Colby, I am sure he does appreciate it. You will be leaving to go back to Colorado tomorrow and you won’t see him again until maybe Christmas. I’m sure your aunt will invite him again.”
I took a drink and said, “yeah, you’re right. I don’t know why I am letting this bother me so much.”
We spent the rest of the day working on dad’s truck, it did help to have our talk. I headed back to Colorado the next morning in a much better mood. I got home early enough to get my laundry done and I then made myself some dinner. I knew Luke and I had a couple of jobs to prepare estimates for the next week, so I reviewed some of my notes so I could hit the ground running in the morning.
I thought back to my talk with dad, I knew he was right. Colby’s grief was a lot different than mine. When I came home today to an empty apartment, it made even more sense. Even though Claire and I have had our problems, I did miss having someone waiting for me when I came home. Knowing that Gavin would never walk through his door again, had to be hard on Colby. I closed my notebook and shook my head. God, why was I thinking about this? I did a nice thing for Colby, ok, maybe I did it for Gavin. I can’t control Colby’s reaction, so why do I care so much. It would be at least a month before I would have to see him again. I am newly single, my business is doing well, other than missing Gavin, I should be happy. It’s time to get on with my life and not think about Colby until I go home for Christmas.
I went to my bedroom and stripped to take a shower. I turned the water on as hot as I could and let it run over my body. The shower worked, my mind went to ideas for the new job I would be working on tomorrow. As soon as I stepped out of the shower, I quickly made some notes so I wouldn’t forget them. I put a pair of underwear on and grabbed a beer and sat on the couch, turning my TV on. Finding nothing to catch my interest, I soon headed to bed.
I was the first one in the shop the next morning, Luke showed up a few minutes later.
He smiled, “hey Kyle, how was your Thanksgiving?”
I returned his smile, “it was good, how about yours?”
He rubbed his belly, “I ate way too much, like always.”
The other guys filtered in, and we all shared how much we ate over our first cup of coffee. We talked about the plan for the week, we had a couple of small projects to work on and we needed to clean out the hardware cabinet and reorder anything we were short on. We divided up the tasks and all got busy. Luke and I finished the two estimates we needed to prepare and met with the customers. They were happy with the plans but confirmed that they wouldn’t be ready to start the projects until after the first of the year.
On Thursday, I walked into the office as Luke was talking on his phone.
He said, “yeah, I know. Yes, I told you I would ask him. Just don’t be too disappointed if he says no. Yes, I’ll call as soon as I talk to him.” He ended the call.
I sat at my desk, preparing myself for the conversation that was about to happen.
Luke sighed, “so remember when I told you Olivia would be trying to get you to go out with us?”
I chuckled, “yes, I remember.”
He said, “well, do you have any plans for Saturday night?”
I shrugged, “it depends, what are we talking about here?”
Luke paused, “well, Olivia has a new coworker that is single, and she said you two would make the perfect couple.”
I laughed, “a blind date?”
He held up his hands, “I told you, she just can’t stand to see anyone not have a partner.”
I asked, “have you met this woman?”
He shook his head, “no, I haven’t but Olivia assures me that she is good looking and is very nice.”
I laughed, “of course she is, they always are.”
Luke chuckled, “I know, but it’s just one date. Who knows, you may click. Besides, it’s been over a month since you and Claire broke up. Plus, you know Olivia isn’t going to stop until she finds someone for you.”
I nodded, “yeah, I know. I guess I can try. Just tell Olivia not to start planning the wedding just yet.”
He smiled, “we will just go out for drinks and then to a nice dinner.”
I finally conceded, I knew Olivia long enough to know that Luke was right, she wouldn’t give me a minute’s peace unless I agreed to at least one of her set-ups. Luke and I agreed to a bar and a restaurant, I was going to meet them there at 7.
All day on Saturday, I tried to think of an excuse to cancel. I couldn’t come up with anything that would satisfy Olivia. I resigned myself to just getting through the night, not setting my expectations too high. I walked into the bar right at 7 and saw them sitting at a table across the room. I was soon introduced to Paige. Olivia was right, she was very attractive and as we enjoyed our first drink, she seemed very sweet. I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. The conversation flowed easily, and Olivia gave me several winks and approving nods. We walked to the restaurant to eat, Luke and I chose a place near the bar, so we didn’t have to drive.
Dinner was just as nice as the drinks and the food was excellent. We went back to the bar after eating for a nightcap. Paige and I exchanged phone numbers, so far, I hadn’t seen any red flags, so I decided a second date would be in order. We said our goodbyes and each headed home. Before I was even in my apartment, Olivia was texting me that Paige was hoping for another date. I shook my head as I texted her back, “I promise, I’ll call her tomorrow.”
I got into bed, maybe a new girlfriend was just what I needed to put Claire out of my mind and help me forget about Colby. I was still not sure why I was still thinking about him anyway.
I woke up the next morning and did chores around the apartment, did laundry, and those kinds of things. After I ate some lunch, I called Paige, and we talked for about an hour. We made plans for another date and for the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to spending time with a woman. It was nice to talk to someone that wasn’t just using me to pay her bills.
Luke called me to talk about one of our jobs, at least that is what he told me. I was sure that Olivia made him call just to make sure I talked to Paige. I just shook my head as I ended the call. I relaxed for the rest of the day, and just as I was going to bed, my phone signaled a text. I assumed it was probably Luke again, but was hoping maybe it was Paige.
I opened the message, it simply read “thanks” It was from Colby.
Colby
Why the hell was Kyle replacing Gavin in my dreams. I tossed and turned the rest of the night, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I guess I must have dozed off for a bit, I woke as the sun shined through the window.
My mind was still racing, what was that dream with Kyle all about? Why was I thinking about him? I did have a psychology class in college, and the professor told us that all dreams mean something. I made some coffee and went about my day, glad that I was scheduled to work both Friday and Saturday nights. Maybe if I stayed busy, I wouldn’t spend any time thinking about Kyle.
As we were getting ready for the bar to open, Leah must have noticed something was on my mind.
She said, “ok Colby, spill it, what’s going on?”
I shrugged, “nothing, why? What are you talking about?”
She smiled, “you just seem a little preoccupied. I can tell that something is bothering you.”
I shook my head, “it’s nothing.”
Leah said, “come on Colby, I know you don’t have too many people to talk to. I’m here and am willing to listen. Who knows, it might help.”
I sighed and gave her the highlights of my dream, telling her that Kyle replaced Gavin at the end.
She asked, “do you think that you have feelings for Kyle?”
I rolled my eyes, “no, we don’t even like each other. Hell, we only tolerated each other for Gavin’s sake.”
Leah gave me a long look, “do you think he has feelings for you?”
I laughed, “oh hell no, last I knew, he has a girlfriend. Kyle is not gay.”
She shrugged, “maybe it’s just a “knight in shining armor syndrome” kind of thing.”
I asked, “what does that mean?”
She said, “well, he did come to your rescue when he picked you up for Thanksgiving and when he replaced your battery. Perhaps you are thinking about him because he helped you and you feel like you owe him.”
I shook my head, “that is ridiculous, I told you that I was going to pay him back as soon as I have the money. I sure as hell am not going to pay him back with sex.”
Leah smiled, “it’s just a theory, I could be all wrong. Just a bar tender practicing armchair psychology.”
I sighed, just as Bob announced he was opening the bar and our first customers started to filter in. I couldn’t help but think about what Leah said as I made my first drinks. It was pure bull, I know I do not have feelings for Kyle, and I am sure he couldn’t care less about me.
Thankfully we got busy, and I was able to put thoughts of Kyle out of my mind. I smiled as I placed a beer in front of one of our regular customers.
Collin said, “thanks Colby.” He returned my smile.
Collin was maybe a year older than me but had a wide smile and deep brown eyes. His shoulder length brown hair framed his dark complected face perfectly.
I asked, “so, how is work going, Collin?”
He took a drink of his beer, “it’s ok, I guess. Work is work.”
I chuckled, “yeah, I know what you mean.”
Collin said, “it’s nice to see you back in the bar, and I was sure sorry to hear about Gavin.”
I fought back the lump in my throat, “thanks, it’s good to be back. I need to keep busy.”
He nodded, “I’m sure it isn’t easy, just remember if you need to talk, I can listen.”
I smiled, “thanks, I appreciate that.”
I left to wait on another customer. I thought to myself, maybe I had more friends than I thought. Collin was a nice guy, I really should try to make a few more friends. I knew I was nowhere near ready for a relationship of any kind, but someone to talk to and hang out with every once in a while, might be just what I needed. I sighed as I realized that even though I missed Gavin, it was time to get on with my life. He had told me that many times in the last months of his life that I should move when he was gone. This might be a good first step.
I continued to wait on my customers but spent a little more time talking to Collin. He said goodbye as he left just before closing time. Leah and I cleaned up after we closed, and we both headed home. I made myself something to eat and sat down to watch some TV before I went to bed. Of course, some actor reminded me of Gavin. As I started to fall asleep, I startled myself awake, thinking about Kyle and not wanting him to make another appearance in my dreams. I couldn’t fight the sleep for long and I drifted off with the TV still playing. This time, my dream was only of Gavin from the first kiss to the last. I woke up a couple of hours later, with a raging hardon. For the first time since losing Gavin, I pulled my pants off and took my erection into my hand. I slowly began to stroke myself, slowly increasing the speed of my strokes. I leaned back and closed my eyes, picturing Gavin again and imagining that he was the one with his hand wrapped around my cock. A few minutes later, I was shooting the biggest load of cum that I can remember. I realized that I had not had an orgasm since the last time Gavin, and I were together.
I cleaned up and crawled into bed, relieved that Kyle was not part of my dream tonight. I quickly fell asleep and slept throughout the rest of the night uninterrupted. I woke in the morning feeling more rested than I have felt since Gavin died. I guess I just needed a release, maybe I should take things into my own hands more often.
I headed to work that afternoon in a better mood, and Leah noticed. We quickly got ready for the bar to open, and Collin was one of the first customers to walk through the door. We picked up our conversation right where we left off the night before. Leah also noticed that.
As we were both making a drink, she elbowed me, “so, you and Collin seem to be getting along.”
I shrugged, “yeah, I guess. He’s a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him.”
She rolled her eyes, “you have never been flirted with, have you?”
I asked, “what?”
Leah chuckled, “oh my God Colby, Collin has been flirting with you for the past two nights. He is interested in more than just talking to you.”
I said, “really?”
She laughed again, “I keep forgetting you have never really been single before. Yes, he is interested in getting better acquainted.”
I said, “I’m not sure I’m ready for anything like that, I guess I was just looking for a friend.”
Leah said, “just talk to him and tell him that, I am sure he will understand.”
She was right, Gavin was my first and only boyfriend, I have never dated anyone else. I guess I had a lot to learn. We made plans to meet at Collin’s place on Sunday, taking Leah’s advice, I wanted to have that talk with him. I didn’t want to lead him on, but I still at least wanted to be friends and keep the door open for when I was ready to date again.
Much to my dismay, when I tried to sleep that night after work, Kyle made another appearance in my dream. The worst part was, it was only Kyle, Gavin was nowhere to be seen. Even though I was upset by this, I decided to keep my visit with Collin.
Collin smiled as he let me in his apartment, “hey, I’m glad you made it.”
I returned his smile, “thanks for inviting me.”
After a short exchange of small talk, I managed to tell him that I was flattered by his attention, but I felt it was too soon for me to start anything too serious. I assured him that I wanted to remain friends, and I was certainly open to spending time together.
He said, “I won’t pretend that I’m not disappointed, but I do understand.”
I smiled, “thank you, I don’t have a lot of friends, and I do like the idea of having someone to talk to.”
Collin nodded, “I already told you, I am more than happy to listen.”
He listened to me talk about Gavin and he even told me about his last boyfriend. I was quickly becoming very comfortable talking to him. As we talked, I somehow mentioned my dreams about Kyle.
He asked, “the same Kyle that you have never gotten along with?”
I nodded, “yeah, the very same.”
Collin said, “maybe you have feelings for him?”
I laughed as I gave him all the reasons that couldn’t be true, just as I had done when Leah suggested it.
He said, “I really think you should talk to him.”
We talked for another hour, and I headed home. I had the night off, so I fell onto my couch, dreading falling asleep for fear of Kyle taking over my dreams again. I knew Collin was probably right, I did need to talk to Kyle, just to get him out of my mind.
I found the note that he had left after Gavin’s funeral. I couldn’t decide if I should call him or not. He did say to call if I needed to talk. I finally decided to send a text message.
I typed “Thanks.” and hit send.
To be continued…
