Kyle
I was practicing my speech to Colby on the entire drive from Brighton to Omaha. I didn’t want to forget anything. I was so glad he agreed to talk to me. After my talk with Paige, I took a long look at my feelings. I figured out that I didn’t dislike Colby, but I was jealous of what he and Gavin had. I think I felt that Gavin had replaced me with Colby. That of course, wasn’t true, it was clear that Gavin still loved us both. It was a different love, but he did love us. I wish I had been mature enough to understand that. Colby and I would have had a much different relationship now.
Our relationship now? What was that? What was it going to be? My feelings toward Colby had certainly changed since I was home at Christmas. It wasn’t just that we had been intimate with each other, although I can’t say that I didn’t like that. I was starting to feel things that I should have felt toward Paige and even Claire. Hell, I had never had these feelings for any girl that I went out with, let alone another man. That was something I needed to ask Colby about, and to be honest, I was hoping he was having those feelings about me.
As I pulled into Omaha, I made my usual stop at the store and then went to the cemetery to see Gavin. As I finished my RC, I was startled when Colby walked up. My little ritual with Gavin was now out of the bag, and I found out who was leaving the flowers. After I gave Colby a little time with Gavin, we were soon on his couch having our talk. I said all that I wanted to, and he said what he wanted as well. I was pleased our talk went smoothly and I surprised myself when I asked him how he knew he was gay.
He stuttered, “what?”
I took a deep breath, “I was wondering how you knew you were gay. I mean, what made you admit to yourself that you were attracted to guys?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess I was never interested in girls. When all the guys in my class were commenting on which girl had the best boobs, I found myself thinking about which guys had the nicest ass.”
I asked, “so that’s when you knew for sure?”
Colby shook his head, “well, it was when I first started thinking about it. Gavin and I started talking and we both admitted that we each had the same feelings. We shared our first kiss and there was never another doubt in my mind.”
I sighed, “I’m glad it was so clear to you.”
He asked, “Kyle, do you think you might be gay?”
I shrugged, “I have no idea, my head is all messed up right now.”
Colby paused, “is this because of what we did when you were back at Christmas?”
I shook my head, “no. Look, I initiated what we did both times, I can’t help but feel like there must be some reason why I did that.”
He said, “maybe you were just curious, you just wanted to see what it would be like with a guy. The first time you were drunk, then when I told you what I did, you wanted to see what it was like when you could remember it.”
I nodded, “yeah maybe, but it seems like there is more to it.”
He asked, “like what? Did you like it better with me than you did with the girls you have been with?”
I chuckled, “you mean the one girl I have been with.” Colby gave me a questioning look, I continued, “Claire is the only person I have ever had sex with, until I was with you.”
Colby said, “but you had at least two girlfriends in high school, you mean you never…”
I shook my head, “no, we just made out and felt each other up. Most all of my friends in high school always exaggerated how far we went with our girlfriends. Claire was my first, and that was after dating for six months. It’s not even about the sex, it’s much deeper than that.”
He asked, “what do mean?”
I sighed, “if I just wanted to get off, I could probably find that anywhere. I admit, when I had sex with Claire, it felt good and all, but after we finished, it didn’t seem like it meant anything. I felt the same after I jacked off by myself.”
Colby asked, “so why did you keep seeing Claire?”
I shrugged, “because I was supposed to. You know the whole, go to college, meet a nice girl, get married and have kids thing.”
He laughed, “yeah, I don’t know any of that. I never thought that is what I was supposed to do.”
I chuckled, “sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
He said, “that’s ok, I understand.”
I took another breath, “after we did what we did, it felt different.”
Colby thought for a moment, “what do you mean, different?”
I was suddenly uncomfortable, I said, “the sex part didn’t matter to me, I sort of felt a… different emotion.”
He asked, “you didn’t like the sex?”
I said, “oh no, I liked it a lot and I don’t regret it at all. It’s just that I can’t stop thinking about you, I have never felt like this about anyone before.” There I said it, I think I have feelings for Colby, romantic feelings. I stared into his eyes to gauge his reaction.
Colby swallowed hard, “are you saying that you want you and me to…”
I sighed, “I just know I want to kiss you right now.”
We kept our eyes locked on each other as we slowly moved closer, and our lips finally met. I wrapped my arms around Colby and pulled him on top of me as our tongues danced. I felt his hard cock rubbing along my leg through our jeans and realized mine was just as hard. Colby broke our kiss and panted, “do you want to go to the bedroom?” I nodded and we stripped as we walked down the hall. We made out as we fell naked onto the bed, our freshly uncovered dicks spreading precum all over each other. We moved into a sixty-nine, sucking Colby’s cock was quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do. I ran my hands all over his body, trying to explore every inch. I never knew I could find another man’s body sexy, but Colby sure as hell was. I had a hand on each of his perfect bubble butt cheeks, I gave them a playful squeeze. He was also grabbing my ass, I didn’t hate that either. I was pleasantly surprised when Colby ran his finger along my crack, another feeling I didn’t hate. I followed his lead and ran my finger along his, Colby moaned and spread his legs. My finger raked across his warm moist hole, bringing out another moan.
Colby let my dick fall from his mouth and asked, “would you like to try something else?”
I kept his cock in my mouth as I mumbled, “hmm hmm.”
Colby rolled me on to my back and pushed my legs up in the air, my pucker was fully exposed. He leaned down and ran his tongue across my rose bud, sending me into orbit. I had no idea that having my ass played with would be so enjoyable. Once my hole was thoroughly licked, Colby came up for another kiss and asked, “did you like that?” I nodded, “very much, can I try it on you?” He smiled as he got on his hands and knees in front of me, his ass pointed in the air. I dove in, trying to mimic what Colby had done to me only minutes before. From the sounds he was making, I must have been doing ok. After I had slobbered all over Colby’s hole, he panted, “please fuck me.”
I asked, “are you sure?”
He sighed, “oh God yes.”
I got into position and placed my engorge head at his hole, I slowly started to push in. I was being careful, I didn’t want to hurt him. As soon as the head of my cock had made it through the first ring of muscle, Colby pushed back I was buried as deep as I could go. He groaned and started to move back and forth, he was so tight and warm, it felt like I was going to cum right then. I grabbed Colby’s hips and slowed him down, I wanted this to last as long as it could. I leaned down and kissed the back of his neck, Colby turned his head so we could kiss. I whispered, “am I doing ok?” He smiled, “you are doing just fine.” I reached around and found Colby’s hard, leaking cock, his precum provided the perfect lube as I stroked him. We were in perfect sync as his ass milked my cock and my hand squeezed his. I felt the pressure building, I wasn’t going to last much longer. Colby was just as close, he let out a grunt and I felt his cum covering my hand. His love canal constricted around my cock as I filled him with my love juices. We fell into a heap as we tried to catch our breath. I rolled onto my back and pulled Colby on top of me so we could share another passionate kiss.
Colby broke our kiss and looked me in the eyes, he asked, “so how do you feel now?”
I said, “I feel like this is so right, like this is where I am supposed to be.” He looked a little unsure, I asked, “how about you?”
He sighed, “I’m not sure.”
Colby
I never expected Kyle to ask me how I knew I was gay. How do you answer a question like that, I still don’t know how I knew. It’s just the way I am and have always been. Why was he asking me this, was he questioning his own sexuality?
I wasn’t sure, but it sounded like Kyle was telling me he had feelings for me. When he said he wanted to kiss me, I lost all will power and surrendered myself to him. He looked so vulnerable and sexy, how could I resist? I still have no idea how we ended up naked and, in my bed, but Kyle was correct, it did feel so right. When he asked me how I felt, I could see the disappointment in his eyes when I blurted out, “I’m not sure.”
Kyle asked, “did I do something wrong?”
I stammered, “no, not at all, you are amazing, but…”
“But what?”
I said, “it’s not you Kyle, it’s me. I enjoyed this very much, but after that kiss, Gavin just flashed before my eyes.”
Kyle said, “I’m sorry Colby, maybe I am rushing things. I know I need to respect your feelings, if you need more time…”
I said, “thanks, I just need to process all of this.”
He leaned on his elbow and wiped the tear that was running down my cheek, “can I ask you something?”
I nodded, “sure.”
He asked, “would Gavin want you to stay home all the time, and be lonely?”
I sighed, “no, of course not.”
He smiled, “I agree, but I don’t want to pressure you. I hope you don’t regret what we did tonight, I certainly don’t. If you need to work things out, I understand, I will give you all the time and space you need to do that. I would like us to spend some time together, because I think I want something more than just being friends. Will you promise that you will call me and be honest with me if you want the same thing, or even if you don’t.”
I could see the sincerity in eyes as he crawled out of bed and started to gather his clothes from the floor.
I asked, “are you going to your parents’ house?”
Kyle shook his head, “no, I’m going back to Colorado, my folks don’t know I’m here.”
I said, “but it will be the middle of the night before you get home.”
He said, “it’s ok, it will give me time to think.”
I scanned his perfect naked body, damn it, I lost all my free will again. Maybe I was feeling lonely and there sure was a connection while we were making love. I sighed, “you don’t have to leave tonight, you can go home in the morning.”
Kyle looked at me and asked, “are you sure?”
I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed, holding them open for him to join me, “yes, I am. We can talk more in the morning while I make us breakfast.”
He smiled as he dropped his clothes and climbed in beside me. He gave me a gentle kiss and wrapped his arms around me. I settled in as the small spoon as Kyle’s warm breath on my neck quickly lulled me to sleep.
I woke the next morning with Kyle still holding me, just like we had fallen asleep the night before. God, it was great to wake up like this, this was probably what I missed most about losing Gavin. I was still feeling conflicted about moving on. Was it too soon? Would Gavin really understand? I knew deep down that he would, but what would he think about me moving on with Kyle?
I felt Kyle stir, his morning wood was nestled in my ass crack. Jesus Christ, this guy had a spell on me. I reached back and began to stroke him, Kyle kissed my neck and started to stroke me. I turned over and we were making out. It only took a few minutes for us to both shoot our loads all over each other’s stomachs.
Kyle broke our kiss, “good morning.”
I chuckled, “it certainly seems like a good morning. Would you like to take a shower?”
He kissed me again, “I would love to, if you will join me.”
I laughed as we stepped under the water. Kyle asked, “what’s so funny.”
I shrugged, “I was just thinking about the last time we were in this shower. I have to say, this is much better than me washing the puke out of your hair.”
He blushed, “yeah, sorry about that.”
Damn, he was even cuter when he was embarrassed. We finished our shower and got dressed and headed to the kitchen. I started making some pancakes while Kyle scrambled the eggs and put the sausage patties in the pan. We loaded our plates and sat down to eat.
Kyle said, “so I meant everything I said last night, I would really like to see where things go with us. I understand you are not sure yet, but I promise not to rush you. Please take some time to think about it.”
I nodded, ‘I will, but I keep thinking about what Gavin would think about all of this.”
He sighed, “I think Gavin would want you to be happy, he would want you to move on. I won’t pretend to know how you feel, and I know it’s not the same, but I miss Gavin a lot too. I know he would want for both of us to be happy.”
I thought for a moment, “I know deep down that you are right, but how would he feel about me moving on with you?”
Kyle chuckled, “I guess he would be just as surprised about all of this as I am.”
We finished eating and Kyle gave me another kiss as he left to return to Colorado. I promised I would call him. After our talk, I know I owe him that at the very least. A couple of hours after he left, I sent him a text to text me when he got back to his apartment, so I knew he made it home safely.
I did the dishes as I thought about Kyle and Gavin. I must admit that waking up in Kyle’s arms this morning was wonderful. I hadn’t had a more restful night’s sleep since I lost Gavin. Gavin would want me to find someone and be happy, but would he be ok with me being with his cousin?
I got ready to head to the bar, Leah smiled at me as I walked in.
She asked, “did you get done what you needed last night?"
I asked, “what? What do you mean?”
She laughed, “relax Colby, if you wanted a night off to do nothing, it’s ok. I didn’t mind working for you.”
I said, “oh, yeah. Sure, I got everything done.”
She said, “what’s going on?”
I rolled my eyes, “it’s nothing.”
Leah shook her head, “it’s not nothing, come on spill it.”
I sighed, “I had an overnight guest.”
She grinned, “good for you Colby, do you care to tell me who? Was it Collin?”
I shook my head, “no it was not Collin.”
She squinted her eyes, “anyone I know?”
I took a deep breath, “it was Kyle.”
Leah stared at me, “Kyle?”
I nodded, “yeah, and he told me he has feelings for me.”
She asked, “what did you say to him?”
I said, “I told him I wasn’t sure. Damn it Leah, I must confess, it was great spending the night with him, but Gavin keeps crossing my mind.”
“Do you think you have feeling for him?” she asked.
I shrugged, “I feel something, maybe I’m just lonely and I am just falling for the first guy that gives me some attention.”
Leah asked, “did you have these feelings for Collin?”
I shrugged, “not really, I like Collin and want to be friends with him.”
She said, “but you didn’t want to jump into bed with him.”
I sighed, “no, I didn’t think I was ready.”
“But you were ready with Kyle.”
I said, “shit, I don’t know. Why is this so hard?”
Leah asked, “so how did you leave things with Kyle.”
“I promised I would call him.”
She asked, “when?”
I said, “he told me to call him when I was ready.”
Leah smiled, “it seems like you have some thinking to do. I hope you will keep your promise, no matter what you decide.”
I nodded, “I will.”
A couple of hours later, my phone signaled a text message, it was from Kyle. “Made it home, thanks for talking to me.”
I sighed as I put my phone back in my pocket, Leah was right, I had some thinking to do.
To be Continued…
