“If I never feel you in my arms again. If I never feel your tender kiss again. If I never hear, I love you now and then. Will I never make love to you again? Please understand if love ends. Then I promise you, I promise you. That, that I shall never breathe again.”-Toni Braxton (Breathe Again)
Preface
Memories can be tricky to navigate, but they are also beautiful. They can serve as a cherished snapshot of the moments that shape and mold our lives. They allow us to relieve the joy, love, and experiences we treasure. It's nostalgia wrapped in the richness of life.
There’s also the other side of it. There are memories that include lingering pain of trauma from past experiences. Those memories can evoke feelings of regret, guilt, and sadness. It can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, and even depression. Bad memories can create obstacles in forming new relationships and growth if you become fixated on past failures and hurt.
Intro
Noah’s Voice-Over: I always dreamed of what my life would be like. I knew I’d fall in love, get married, start a family, grow old with my special someone, and die under the gaze of the stars in the snow. The reality didn’t match the dream. I fell in love, and he broke my heart. I got married, but it didn’t last. I started a family as a single father. As far as dying under the stars in snow…that depends on a few things. Let’s begin…
Intro II
The thunder roared in the sky. The lightning flashed like a dazzling fireworks display. The car flipped, and Noah was struck by his first memory of Matthew. It was the day they first met in high school. It was the day their lives changed. The car flipped a second time, and the glass shattered from every window. Prom night flashed before him. He could see it as if he were there all over again. The way Matthew held him and the moment he uttered those three words for the first time. All those memories he held near and dear had carried him the years he spent without Matthew. Then, there was another memory. One that he had long forgotten and buried deep in the back of his mind. It was bound to change everything, but before we go there, let’s go back.
Let’s figure out how we got here. We should have been celebrating. Matthew had finally gotten his memories back for the most part. So, why was everything in such a state that we could be witnessing Noah leaving us with a broken heart? Are you ready? Good. Now, let us begin the journey of working through repressed feelings and memories. At the end of it all, maybe we can breathe again!
January 2016
The snow was falling hard, and the ground was practically covered in ice. It was a snowstorm for the ages. Officer Jones, a young and dedicated member of the Boston PD, had been on the force for just a little over a year. Despite his relative inexperience, he was known for his unwavering commitment to his duty. He was patrolling the banks of the Charles River in near-subfreezing temperatures, a testament to his dedication.
Due to the nature and magnitude of the storm, the city was trying to ensure that no one was without shelter before the worst parts of it made landfall. Officer Jones was doing his last round before heading into the precinct to relax in its warmth.
He stood for a brief second and looked around. An object floating in the river caught his attention. He quickly turned on the flashlight. The light hit the object. At first glance, it looked like trash floating, but its true identity revealed itself as it moved closer. He was staring at a person floating in the river.
“Hey! Can you hear me,” he shouted.
The person didn’t respond, so he radioed for help. The river was freezing cold, and he knew that if he went in, he could expose himself to hypothermia. He waited for backup and kept his eyes on the person. The person floating in the river was none other than Matthew. His face was bloody and bruised. He was unconscious and barely holding on for life.
It had been three days since Matthew left home to handle some business. Noah had spent the last three days a nervous wreck. He tried repeatedly calling Matthew, but the calls all went to voicemail. He had filed a missing person’s report with NYPD, but nothing had turned up so far. He was worried sick and going out of his mind. He kept telling himself that everything would be fine. Matthew would show up at any moment with some wild story about why he had been unable to call or answer his phone.
Noah couldn’t sit. He paced back and forth across the foyer of the apartment he and Matthew called home. His mother had just gone out to get more flyers printed, so he was alone when the knocking came.
The knocks on the door were more like a loud banging. Each bang made Noah’s heart shiver. He felt the dread of a million souls on him. He slowly inched his way to the front door. He took a deep breath and opened the door. There stood two NY detectives. One male and one female. Their facial expressions betrayed them long before their words.
“Can I help you,” Noah asked with a tremble in his voice.
“Mr. Montgomery, do you mind if we come in,” the male asked.
“I’d prefer if you’d just tell me what it is,” Noah said as he fought to control his emotions.
The two detectives exchanged a glance. The male gave the female a head nod. She pulled out Matthew’s bloody NY state driver’s license. Noah spotted it and passed out in front of them. That day, he learned that Matthew’s car had been found near the Canadian border, abandoned with Matthew’s blood inside. They never found a body but assumed he was dead. That was what they believed for ten years.
October 2026 (One Month Before Noah’s Car Crash)
Matthew sat before the psychiatrists as a changed man. Just a month ago, he had regained his memories, an experience both joyous and somber. He was now faced with the task of combining who he was with who he had become as Greg. For a brief moment, he felt the love he once had for Noah, and then it was gone. The love was gone, but the memories remained.
Dr. Giovanni Dever was a young, brilliant, and beautiful doctor. He specialized in helping people unlock repressed memories. As he studied Matthew, he couldn’t help but wonder what lay buried deep in the back of his mind.
“I’ve gone over your file. You are a lucky man, Matthew. Not many people with a severe brain injury recover all of their memories. You did. So, why are you here?” The doctor was straightforward and to the point.
Matthew exhaled, “I recovered my memories, but the feelings associated with them aren’t there. I remember being in love and knowing that Noah was and is the love of my life, but I don’t feel anything when I think of him or remember our past.”
Giovanni nodded, “Are you able to feel things for other people you remember?"
Matthew nodded his head as he thought about all the other people in his life. He could feel his emotions for them. When it came to Noah, though, it was like staring at a blank canvas. There was nothing there for Matthew to see and feel.
“Have you told Noah any of this,” the doctor asked.
“No, Noah’s been through enough because of me. He’s currently living his best life sailing around the world with Blair and his daughter, my daughter, I guess. I am still legally married to him.” Matthew paused to collect his thoughts. “I don’t want to tell him I remember him only to then tell him I don’t remember how to love him or how it felt to love him. He already lost me once.”
“I see. So, where do I fit into this?” The doctor crossed his legs. The need to feel comfortable was always important to him.
“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to help me recover my feelings for Noah.”
Giovanni leaned forward in the chair, “Recovering repressed feelings can be complex and challenging. The emotions are usually unconsciously blocked due to their painful or traumatic nature. In order to unlock them, we have to bring the feelings to a conscious awareness. Then, you have to process and integrate them. It’s not easy, and not everyone is able to do it.”
Matthew smirked, “I’m not everyone. I was left for dead, Dr. Dever. My skull was bashed in from a possible accident. I was found floating in the Charles River in Boston during a snowstorm. That’s over 200 miles from NYC, where I lived with my husband. I was on the brink of dying of hypothermia. I spent months in a coma. I woke up with no memories and spent ten years not knowing my life. Then, I walked into a bookstore ten months ago and met the man I was supposedly created for. I got my memories back nine months after meeting him. I can do this. The question is, can you help me.”
Giovanni smiled at Matthew. He liked the fire and the fight that Matthew had. It was one thing to talk a good game, but to see it and feel it was something different. He could feel the fight in Matthew. It was time to see it.
“You’re going to need a support system, Matthew. We will discuss your relationship with Noah, and it may take you to places you weren’t aware of. You need support,” the doctor said with absolute firmness.
“My son knows. I have him. He’s not going to tell his dad about my memories,” Matthew said with a loving smile as he thought about MJ. He wished he had been able to be there and see him grow up. He had missed out on so much. Though he never wanted kids, he was grateful for the blessing MJ had turned out to be.
**
Noah entered the cabin on the sailboat in his bathrobe. The thunder outside roared, and the ocean rocked back and forth. He dropped the robe, revealing his toned body. He was wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs.
“Now that’s a sight I could get used to waking up to,” Blair said as he sat up in bed.
Noah giggled, “Is that right?”
Blair patted the bed, “Absolutely.”
Noah jumped into the bed. Blair quickly pulled him close. The warmth of their bodies pressed together stirred the passion inside of them. Noah laid his head on Blair’s bare chest, took his finger, and began to slowly run it across his abs. They stared up at the glass ceiling, watching the rain fall. It was a dark yet beautiful sight.
Blair moaned, “I could never get tired of you touching me.”
“Good,” Noah said with a bit of sass.
“Was Lola still sleeping,” he asked.
“Out like a light. She is enjoying being on the water. I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this. She should be stateside. In school,” Noah said.
“I mean, she has to start enjoying the perks of having a wealthy father at some point,” Blair said as he kissed the crown of Noah’s head. His own hand began to slowly stroke Noah’s chest.
Noah smirked, “I guess.” He exhaled and said, “I should have taken advantage of it when I was a kid.”
“You don’t think you did? You up and relocated to Cali during the school year, and before your first year of college, you traveled the globe with Trevor,” Blair said with a laugh.
“That’s different. I mean we took trips, but I never really just enjoyed the life my parents worked so hard for me to have. They made millions so I could have an amazing life, and for the longest, I was scared to really live it. Feels almost like a life wasted,” Noah said with a reflective stare into space.
“It’s not wasted. You’re still young, my prince. Thirty-nine years of age and still the most gorgeous man I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on,” Blair said as he used his finger to turn Noah’s face toward him.
“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Noah whispered.
Blair’s cock twitched in his underwear, hearing Noah apologize. His love for Noah was profound. He had waited for so long to just hold him and love him. Being so close to him always turned him on. He couldn’t help the way he felt.
Noah could feel Blair’s passion poking him in the side. He ignored the erection. He wanted to see how long Blair could go before giving in to the lust and passion that burned between the two of them. He slowly inched his hands lower down Blair’s gorgeous body.
“You’re here now, and that’s all that matters. Besides, there are some things in life that are worth waiting for. You are one of them. At the perfect time, everything aligns, and the universe sends it to you. I waited just for you. My heartbreaker,” Blair uttered in his ear.
Blair took his index finger and traced Noah’s soft lips. Noah kissed his finger. Blair felt his heart race a little faster. Noah felt chills run through his body as Blair touched his lips. He was making him feel alive in ways that had died years ago.
As they lay there listening to the rain, Blair clapped his hands. Toni Braxton’s “Breathe Again” began to play. Noah looked over his shoulder at Blair.
“Did that impress you,” Blair asked with a smile.
“Maybe. Maybe not. You have to find out on your own,” Noah said playfully.
Blair seductively said, “I can do that. I can do anything you want me to do.”
Blair slid his hand down to the front of Noah’s underwear. He slowly began to stroke Noah’s cock through the fabric. It started to harden and firm up in Blair’s hand. Noah moved his hand under Blair’s underwear and took his erection into his hands. They both slowly stroked each other.
He pulled Blair’s erect penis out and took the head into his warm mouth. Blair let out a soft moan. Noah pulled the foreskin back and exposed the pink head of Blair’s cock. He took it back into his mouth and began to move his head up and down. He sucked and licked the cock. With each lick, he took in the precum dripping from it.
“Oh, that feels so good,” Blair moaned.
Noah moved off the cock and pulled Blair’s underwear off. He took in Blair’s naked body briefly, and then he resumed sucking his cock. He slowly moved his head up and down. He wrapped his lips around the long pole and slid his tongue up and down it. It was like candy in his mouth.
Noah stood up and slowly slid his underwear off. He gave a twirl as he stripped for Blair. The entire time, Blair’s eyes lit up with excitement and this innocent joy that could only be found in love.
Blair moved to the edge of the bed and wrapped his arm around Noah’s back. He pulled him close and took Noah’s cock into his mouth. Noah let out a deep sigh. Blair sucked on the head of the cock. He moved his hand down onto Noah’s firm ass cheek. He held him still as his lips serviced the cock. Noah’s breathing increased as he watched Blair with wondering eyes.
“Blair. Don’t stop,” he moaned.
Blair’s eyes smiled up at Noah. They kissed briefly and rolled into a 69. They both took the other’s cock into their mouths. Blair slowly moved his hips. He fucked Noah’s mouth as he slid his lips all the way down Noah’s erect penis. Then he took his fingers and rubbed them across Noah’s puckered hole. He pushed his finger inside of Noah’s tight ass.
“I can’t get over how tight you are,” Blair moaned as he fingered Noah.
Noah arched his back. He wanted Blair’s fingers to go deeper inside of him. Blair added a second finger, and Noah moaned a little louder. Blair spread those fat cheeks and slid his wet tongue across Noah’s delicious ass and taint.
Noah rolled Blair onto his back and straddled him. He eased down on Blair’s long and hard cock. Noah’s body tensed with pleasure as the long smooth beast slid along the walls of his anus. He slowly began to bounce up and down of Blair’s cock.
Blair took hold of Noah’s hips and began to fuck up into him. Noah’s hole was so tight and perfect. It milked and worked Blair’s cock. They became lost in each other’s eyes. Noah placed his hands on Blair’s chest and rode him like a bull at the rodeo.
“Just like that. Ride me,” Blair groaned.
Blair cuffed Noah’s ass cheeks. Noah slammed down on Blair, and Blair met him midway by slamming up into him. Those fat ass cheeks swayed like the ocean tide. Noah’s hard cock flopped around Blair’s stomach and chest.
Sweat poured off their bodies as they exchanged passion back and forth. Blair flipped them so that Noah was on his back. He pushed Noah’s leg wide open and began to slam into him over and over again. His dick went deeper into Noah’s wet and open hole each time.
“Whose ass is this,” Blair asked in a passionate yet desperate tone.
“It’s yours,” Noah moaned.
“Say you promise,” Blair demanded in his heat as he drove his cock harder into Noah.
“I promise. It’s yours, Blair,” Noah shouted.
Noah stroked his cock as he was fucked by Blair. The fucking slowed down, and then he gave Noah deep, long, and slow strokes. The cock brushed Noah’s tight walls. Each time the dick brushed his walls, Noah felt like he was going to cum. Blair picked up the pace and drove harder and faster into Noah.
The fucking grew intense with its passion and magic. Blair started hitting the magic spot in Noah’s ass. Noah’s legs began to shake, and his anus began to massage Blair’s cock in a different way. Blair could sense that Noah was close, and he fucked him harder and faster.
“FUCK,” Noah screamed as his cock burst with cum.
The hot cum covered Noah’s stomach. Blair took his hand and wiped up some of the cum. He licked it off his fingers. He couldn’t get enough of the way Noah tasted. He leaned down and kissed him. He shoved his tongue into Noah’s mouth. Noah happily sucked Blair’s tongue. He wouldn’t let it go.
Blair drove his hips faster and deeper. He fucked Noah’s hole so good. Years of lust, desire, and love were once again coming through. Blair couldn’t control his hips. He drove deeper and deeper. His balls smashed into Noah’s taint. The sound of the thunder and their moans blended and created the perfect harmony.
Blair let out a loud groan that was muzzled by the fact that his tongue was deep in Noah’s mouth. His dick swelled deep inside of Noah’s hot ass. He couldn’t control himself. He drove into it once more, and his cock blew a hot load deep inside. He groaned and fucked his cum deep into the depths of Noah’s ass.
“I love you,” Blair said, exhausted but honest.
Noah was shocked by the admission. He stared silently into Blair’s eyes, searching his eyes to find his soul and see his truth. Blair felt nervous and afraid that he had said the word too soon. He wanted to take it back.
Nervously, Blair said, “You don’t have to say-”
“Shhh,” Noah said as he placed a finger against Blair’s lips. “I love you too.”
He pulled Blair into a passionate kiss. Their bodies began to grind against one another. As they kissed, Noah wondered how he had gotten to be so blessed. He had experienced two beautiful loves in his life. Matthew had been the love that had taken his breath away. Blair was the love that made him breathe again! How could anything possibly go wrong?
TO BE CONTINUED
© Grayson Rose 2025. All rights reserved.
