Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be spending my first night in Europe sleeping in the bed with someone I had just met, let alone it being with another guy, but I feel Ollie’s arms wrapped around me as my head sits on his furry chest.
I don’t think I’ve had as comfortable feeling with anyone as I do with Ollie, even though this is going to be Nothing more than just a little fling while I’m here, and who knows whether it is going to be anything more than just tonight. It’s about 5:30am when I hear an alarm as Ollie stirs and wakes up as I wake up there and look at him as he smiles.
“Morning sexy”, he says to me as he kisses me, and I realise where I am because even though it feels good, it is still a surprise to be lying here. “Everything ok?” I say as Ollie stands and gets up as I look at him there naked after what happened last night.
Ollie is there standing, looking at me. “Yeah, sorry, I forgot that I set my Gym alarm again and was getting up to turn it off and go”, he says as I nod my head and start to get up before he pushes me down back into the bed.
“You don’t need to go anywhere. We walked past the gym last night, so it’s only up the road, and it’s only an hour”, he says as I feel him push me down and kiss me again as he looks at me before grabbing my clothes from the living room. “You know I can go and hide these”, he says with a cheeky smile, and I smirk as he winks and puts them down.
I watch him getting ready for the gym just laying there as I ask him to get my phone which he does and he tells me he’ll see me in an hour as I scroll through my phone and Ollie leaves. I lay there still exhausted wondering how he could be so full of energy but it’s probably down to the fact that he is used to flying and back so knows all the tricks.
Falling back asleep, I spread out in Ollie’s bed, which feels good, though slightly weird because after spending almost all my time sleeping alone, one night of cuddling with Ollie just felt normal.
I spread out for a bit, laying there before I realise that I can’t get back to sleep, so I end up getting up and having a look around Ollie’s room. There are so many pictures on his dresser sitting there as I look at them and pick them up, to see them with people who I can only assume are his family with him at various ages and look at them intently as I pick up one and see Ollie standing with who I assume is his father as they are standing at the airport together arm wrapped around each other as I pick up the frame, I notice a folded up letter behind it sliding out as I pick up the frame as I see a handwritten note on the back of it.
“Dad, this is all down to you; Wish you could’ve experienced just one flight with me… Fuck Cancer”
Part of me wants to read the letter but at the same time it’s none of my business as I take a quick peek and see that it is the acceptance letter that Ollie got for when he started at Jetstar and I put it back into the frame because it’s none of my business.
I feel bad for having a look because anything that he would have wanted to tell me, he would have straight away or would in his own time depending on how things are going. Looking at the dresser, I open the top drawer wanting to borrow some shorts because I’ve only got what I wore last night and I’d prefer to feel a bit more comfortable wearing something.
There’s a lot of interesting things in his top drawer but I don’t go through them all before just finding where he has his gym shorts and throw a pair on and get up just in case anybody else is around like his roommate even though he said that she should be in New York and then Manchester. Putting them on, I know why he likes to show off his legs and package because these shorts fit really well.
I head to the kitchen looking for something to eat because I’m hungry and grab an Museli bar from a box sitting on the bench and eat it before getting back to bed and playing on my phone because even though I probably should be going to my hotel, I can’t leave Ollie.
It’s only about 15-20 minutes later when a sweaty Ollie comes back through the door as he notices me dressed in a pair of his shorts “Borrowing my clothes already?” he says as I start to explain but he puts his hand up.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got more clothes than I need”, he says, laughing as I smile back “I guess you didn’t want to share that beautiful body with the rest of London?” he says to me as I look confused at him because he didn’t tell me the apartment has a view of London and the Thames. “You didn’t explore the balcony then, I’m guessing?” he says as I shake my head, and he takes me by the hand and shows me the remarkable view the apartment has, looking back towards London.
“When Rosie’s not home, I love to have morning coffee out here, just me and London”, he says, winking, alluding to the fact that he sits out there naked. “Thankfully, each apartment has an opaque divider so that nobody can see through, although even if they could actually see me, they’d enjoy it”, he says with a charm that nobody can deny, and I laugh.
“So, do you ever do more than just sit out there?” I ask curiously as I wonder where all this thinking has come from, but it’s like something has really unlocked within my head about all this, and I know it’s stupid, but I feel like I’ve met someone I’m in love with after 24 hours.
The two of us have this connection as if we’ve always known each other forever, and Ollie looks at me. “As stupid as it sounds, it’s something I wanna do with someone special, not just doing it for the sake of doing it”, he says as I nod my head and totally get that, but looking at him, I can see he is hinting at something.
We head back inside as I probably should get back to the hotel as Ollie looks at me “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” he says as I shrug not really having any plans other than to go in to London itself and explore and then going to the Chelsea game.
“No real plans, just wanna explore a bit, get in some of the sights and show Mum I’m actually doing something because she’s trying to plan my trip when I just want to go with the flow and see whatever I can see” Ollie nods his head agreeing with me that the best plan is not really to have a plan because things change.
“Exactly, just do it at your own pace because it’s not like you’re going to waste it all sitting in the hotel, and if you keep a tight schedule, then you don’t get to experience the fun of exploring because you’re forcing the timing,” he says as I nod my head and start to look for my clothes in the living room as Ollie looks at me.
I’m bending over to pick my new buttoned up shirt and jeans off the floor as Ollie looks at me “You wanna borrow some of my clothes to wear back to the hotel? Saves you having to put back on last night’s clothes and can just feel fresher” he says as I don’t want to impose but he insists on it.
He grabs me a T-shirt from his room as I go to take off the gym shorts. “Just wear them as it is back to the hotel… you’re literally only going to be in the back of the car into the hotel, right?” he says as I nod, but I don’t know if I can freeball it.
“Just explore that; it’s what 10 minutes or so”, Ollie says as I nod my head and put the t-shirt on; as he gives me a backpack to put my other clothes in, which we do before I give him a hug, which was meant to be just a quick bro hug until he kisses me and I kiss him back, dropping the bag and putting my arms over him as we continue to make out before my phone rings to spoil the moment.
I push away from Ollie to answer my phone, but when I see that it’s just Mum, I let it ring out, and Ollie laughs.
“Not in the mood to talk?” he says as I just roll my eyes and it rings again straight away with Mum trying to call me again as I just watch it ring out and then put it onto silent. “I can’t deal with it; I know she means well, but like, let me have some space,”, I say as Ollie looks at me and smiles.
Standing there I look at his smirk “What’s the smirk for?” I ask as he just turns it into a bigger smile as I look at him and smile still trying to wonder why he’s smiling because I don’t want to talk to my mother right now.
“Just you not wanting to talk to your mother and not even being upset about it… I mean, I know that I only met you 2 days ago, but jeez, the way you’ve come out of your shell because you did ask me back here and then tell me to fuck you,” he says as I laugh and nod my head and realise that I probably have come out of my shell a lot in the two days.
I check my phone once more and pick up the bag as I kiss Ollie deeply again “When do you want these back?” I say as he shakes his head and tells me to keep them because he has more than enough clothes that he’s fine to let them go.
Right now, it’s hard to leave Ollie because he is right; there is something about him that brings out a new side of me that I’m really enjoying. He kisses me again and walks outside with me as I look at him. “You got any plans for today?”
Ollie stands there looking at me as he puts his arm around me as people are walking around more than they were last night “Was that your way of saying that you want to spend the day with me and have me show you around London?”
I stand there as the Taxi turns up and Ollie smiles and give me a kiss “Message me after you’ve had breakfast at the hotel” he says as it’s not a flat-out refusal to say no as I close the door and tell the Taxi driver the hotel name and he drives me there and I pay for it before heading back to my room and lay down on the bed.
The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind as I lay down and take everything in because it was all just a dream to explore a new side to me and I never thought that I would do anything like this, but having met Ollie, it’s like the world just set me up to know what I want and even though there’s an age gap between us, I’ve never met anyone like Ollie.
I change my clothes and head down to the Breakfast area and sit down by the window, looking out as I check my phone to see Mum has tried to call me three times after the first two times with then three or four different text messages as I just put my phone down. I sit there with a plate of food in front of me, scrolling through all my messages and my Instagram as I look at my life at home realising for all the happiness that I have in the pictures but realise that I’ve always known something is missing when I scroll through and spot a picture.
There’s a picture from just after Christmas at the beach with Jake, his boyfriend Tyler and me as I realise that my brother has never been happier since he and Tyler started dating although Mum just thinks of them as close friends. The thought of those two makes me feel more confident about what I want in my life these days and having met Ollie confirms it to me that I might have met the right person.
Sitting there, I think about the situation because even though I’ve had a girlfriend in the past which wasn’t that serious, I’ve never had anyone in my life where I’ve just connected with them that way before and I worry that maybe I shouldn’t feel this way and Ollie said that he doesn’t want to really have a relationship for a while.
As I’m sitting there taking my time to eat and think my phone buzzes again as I roll my eyes thinking that It’s just Mum being annoying again as I look and see that it’s my brother ringing me so I answer my phone.
Jake: “Hey bro, you all good?”
Me: “Yeah, of course, I am; just having breakfast, what’s up?”
Jake: “You tell me Mum has rung me three times this morning because you’ve been avoiding her calls”
Me: “That’s because I missed her calls this morning because I was still asleep because I’m trying to catch up on 24 hours of flying in Economy.”
Jake: “Corey, I know, but Mum’s just at me.”
Me: “I’m sorry, bro, but she’s just been at me over and over again about what I should be doing. she keeps sending me tours that I should go on, and then she tried to book me tickets for some gallery tour that she thought I’d like.”
Jake: “I get you, bro, so what have you done?”
Me: “Not much; I’m going exploring today to see the main sights, you know, and just experience London, but before that, I’ve just been trying to overcome the jetlag, which you should know how that feels.”
Jake: “Of course she is”
Jake: “I’ll talk to her and tell her you’re feeling a bit smothered… I’ll cop the brunt you know I can take it as the older bro”
Me: “Nah, I’m going to ring her shortly, so I’ll put it gently and use the fact that constantly talking to her is expensive and takes me away from doing what I need to do”
Jake: “Ok, I just don’t want her getting upset at you too.”
Me: “I don’t care, bro, the way she hovers is ridiculous, like you’re 25 with a boyfriend for 2 years that she doesn’t know about, and I’m not doing anything”
Jake: “Damn, what happened in two days? My little bro grew some balls.”
I laugh a bit and pause for a minute and decide whether I should tell Jake anything but choose not to say anything yet because if I do, I wanna know whether Ollie and I actually have something that could happen.
Me: “I’ve always had balls, bro, just it’s easier when you’re so far away, and I’ve got three weeks between now and then”
Jake: “Ok true, on another note is tonight when you’re going to the game?”
Me: “Yeah, game tonight and then the tour tomorrow”
Jake: “So jealous, bro, it’s the one thing that I want to cross off the list”
Me: “You’ve been and seen Chelsea play”
Jake: “Yeah, but in Hong Kong, not London”
Me: “Who’s fault is that”
Jake: “I know; it wasn’t my smartest idea to book that trip when I did”
Me: “I’ll send you pics tonight, bro, talk to you soon”
Talking to Jake is good because even he says that I’ve changed since I got to London, which Ollie said the same thing. He noticed me changing from the nervous guy I was on the plane to the confident one that ones to stand up to Mum.
Finishing up my breakfast, I look at the plate and my phone before deciding to go back up to the room and ring Mum just to appease her and bring things to a head about controlling everything that I’ve done and my plans for this trip.
I take off the T-shirt I borrowed from Ollie and lay back on the bed as I have this nervous feeling right now about ringing Mum, but eventually, I do it, and the regret hits me almost instantly.
Mum: “COREY… You rang, you had me so worried because I tried to ring you so many times this morning and I couldn’t get hold of you… it’s just so good to hear your voice when I couldn’t get through to you.”
Me: “MUM… CUT IT OUT”
Mum: “What? What do you mean cut it out?”
Me: “Nothing, you are just hovering over me all the time… I know you mean well, but you’re trying to control everything that I do while I’m here, like sending me information about all these tours, and when you told me you were trying to get me booked into things.”
Mum: “I’m just trying to make sure that you’re having a good time and see things”
Me: “I know you are, and I appreciate it, but it just feels like you are trying to control what I’m doing and all that.”
Mum: “Well sorry”
I hear the tone in her voice, feeling like I’ve hurt her, but I know that it is something that was rough, but it was just how I felt, and I regret saying it.
Me: “I know that was harsh, but like I’m sitting downstairs having breakfast, come back upstairs to where my phone is charging because I forgot to plug it in properly last night, so it drained out of battery, and I get up here with four missed calls, 6 texts and then Jake ringing me”
Mum: “Well, I was worried and…”
Me: “I get that and appreciate that, and I know that it might have sounded harsh, but it just feels like you’re trying to control what I need to do.”
Mum: “Ok”
Me: “Mum, you don’t need to be upset; it’s like when you tell us how Grandma used to do everything to tell you where to go, when to meet anyone and all that”
Mum: “Ok”
Me: “Alright, well, I’m going to send you pictures of everything that I’m seeing today, and I’ve got the Chelsea game tonight to go to, so I don’t know if I can ring you, but I’ll try.”
Mum: “Ok… I’ll stop annoying everyone, I mean, I’ll stop worrying, and if anything happens, then you can deal with it”
Me: “Mum, can you stop that? Nobody wants you to not care, but we just want you to not worry about us and control so much because you are stressing yourself out. Jake and I are adults and can look after ourselves; just trust us?”
Mum: “Ok…”
Me: “Don’t take it personally… it’s not meant in a nasty way; it’s meant in a loving way.”
Mum: “Ok…”
Me: “Can you say something else other than ok?”
Mum: “Enjoy London; I won’t talk to you again until you're back if that’s what you want”
Me: “That’s not what I want, and I know you know what I mean, alright? Just think about when you told us about Grandma’s hovering and how much that annoyed you.”
Mum: “Alright, just stay safe, and I’ll let you do the talking and all that”
Me: “How about we just agree to talk around 8pm every night your time, right?”
Mum: “That works ok, talk to you later, love you”
Mum hangs up, but I can’t help but get the sense that she is still pissed off at me about it, and I text Jake, who is with Tyler this afternoon, so he’s not going to cop the full brunt of everything, and I’m getting the blame.
Me: “Hey bro, I talked to Mum, and she’s pissed at me, so just say you know Nothing
I take a long shower and check the time, seeing it’s only just after 9:30, and decide to check my Instagram account, and I see a message from Ollie already.
Ollie: “So you want that guided tour of London?”
Me: “Was me saying no ever an option?”
Ollie: “I’ll meet you outside the Tube station in half an hour.”
I send him back a thumbs up get, myself ready, and wander down, remembering where the station is from my walk yesterday, and see him standing there in a Black T-shirt and ripped jeans as I smile and walk into hug him.
“You look good” I say as he smirks. “Of course I do, when don’t I look good with a hot guy on my arm… or at least with me” he says as I nod my head and even though we’re not walking hand in hand or anything like that but just together.
I stand there with a smile on my face, but Ollie can sense that something is wrong with my face compared to this morning as he looks at me intently.
“What’s the matter? Do I have something on my face?” I say as Ollie looks intently at me as I’m confused as he looks at me. “Something is bothering you, I can tell on your face because you look stressed and upset” he says to me as I try to say no but I know that he can tell that my phone call with Mum bothered me.
“I don’t want to bog down with all the details” I say to Ollie who pulls me over to sit on a wall near the station as I want this to be a happy occasion and something to enjoy rather than being stressed about what happened on the phone to Mum.
We sit there and Ollie grabs my hand and rubs it right now as it feel good and I don’t want to overjudge the situation at all but for me this is feeling more like we’re both feeling the same sort of feelings towards one another.
“Honestly, it’s nothing, I just had my brother ring me because Mum had been at him about me not answering my phone and after talking to him, I spoke to Mum, and it didn’t go so well because I just said let me do my own thing and she took major offence to it,” I say as Ollie nods his head understandingly which is good and helpful that he lets me talk.
Ollie lets me talk about how I feel as we sit there for a few minutes, and he looks at me and rubs my hand as I explain what happened and how Mum came across as being really upset by what I had to say. Ollie looks at me and looks me in the eye. “It might have hurt, but you needed to say it and just let out how you feel because you can’t keep it all in, like if you didn’t do what you felt, then I wouldn’t be sitting here next to you a night after we went out to dinner and then you wouldn’t have asked me to fuck you,” he says as someone walking past gives us a glare as he says that a bit louder.
“Just forget about the phone call with your Mum and just do what you want to do because she isn’t going to know anything you don’t tell her, and I mean, you enjoyed last night and this morning, and she’s not gonna know,” he says laughing as I nod my head and hug him before we get up and head into the station.
Ollie takes the lead in showing me where to go as, yet again, I just find myself following his lead as we get on the Tube, and without really any set plans, I’m just going with the flow, enjoying my first experience of the London Underground until Ollie tells me that it’s time to get off.
Getting off the Tube, I lose him at first but just head up to the exit because I know that we can find each other which we do at the entrance of Embankment station. “That’s worse than Town Hall in peak hour,” I say as Ollie laughs and nods his head.
“Oh yeah, Town Hall has nothing on some of these stations,”, he says as I laugh and nod my head as we walk down one of the vibrant side streets that Ollie knows his way all around. “You’ve really mastered your way around London”, he says as he asks if I want a coffee, which I agree to because I can do with one too.
Thinking that he has somewhere special in mind, I didn’t expect him to be taking me into Starbucks as I look at him. “When you asked me if you wanted Coffee I thought that there was somewhere special you were taking me but Starbucks? I can have that in Westfield back home” he laughs and I roll my eyes.
“It’s quick and easy… like me” he says as I laugh and we order Coffee and continue back walking as I look at him. “You know that you haven’t told me much about your family, I mean, you know a little bit about mine, and obviously, I’m from Sydney, but I don’t know if you are actually from Sydney or what…”
There’s part of me that would be worried that I overstepped but I know that I’m not overstepping because I want to keep my confidence up and I know that if I don’t ask questions that I don’t achieve anything about getting to know Ollie because he asks me everything.
“Yeah, I’m from Sydney, I grew up in Kingsford, so only 10 minutes away from the airport, and my dad was a ground handler for 25 years there, and I worked doing that for a bit before going into customer service, so you know doing Check-in and all that sort of thing before going in to be a flight attendant, and Mum works in the admin for Qantas” he says as I get why he really had no other option than working at the airport or becoming a flight attendant.
The two of us keep walking “Family wise, I’m one of five kids so plenty of us” he says laughing as I remember back to the photo sitting on his dresser. “Yeah, I’ve got 2 brothers and a sister, so she gets a bit outnumbered, but we’ve all spread out over time, though I’m clearly the furthest away”, he says as I nod my head, and he keeps explaining more.
“How did they take you being gay?” I ask just curiously about how the family takes it as Ollie laughs quite hard as we get close to where we are going. “They weren’t even close to being surprised because they all just said that they expected me to come out a lot earlier than I did because they all knew” I laugh, and his situation isn’t a help because I’ve given absolutely no clues that I’ve ever been considering into guys and I don’t think Jake has either.
I laugh as he explains “That’s going to be a big help to me if I decide on what I want to do or what is going to happen with Jake” which is the big thing because I don’t want to steal his moment for the lack of a better way because he’s been battling this and been with Tyler longer.
Getting out to the main street, Ollie stops to look at something before we cross the road. “Here we are”, he says as I look around and take in everything around me. “Holy shit… this is Trafalgar Square,” I say as Ollie just laughs at my astoundment. He tells me to take a selfie first by myself, and then he throws himself into the other and tells me to send it to him via Instagram messages as we take it all in.
“You are looking like a real tourist at the moment,”, I say to Ollie, who shrugs and laughs. “I spend most of my time flying in and out of Heathrow, so I don’t get to experience much of this, and I don’t really get to spend it with many people visiting here because all my family is based in Australia and don’t really travel given the distance and me not getting much time off when I’m here.”
The two of us continue to take in the sights and I guess that it’s the same for us in Sydney where we don’t really get to be tourists when the Harbour Bridge and Opera House are just regular things when people get really excited to see as opposed to the locals who just take it for granted.
Walking around, the two of us, I think, are just enjoying the company of each other more than what we are with the sights as we take in the history and I don’t know whether it’s the greatest idea, but I stop someone walking past to ask if they can take a photo of Ollie and I which they thankfully take a couple and I show him the photo. “Looks good”, he says as I put my head on his shoulder, just so thankful that fate intervened and I got to meet him and connect with him like this.
