Returning Home
This is probably the most boring chapter yet and one that I'm not sure about; Also just a heads up that over the next few weeks the chapters maybe sporadic as I have a new work opportunity I'm taking that will take most of my writing time.
The trip to London has been more amazing than anything I could have imagined, and not only was meeting Ollie amazing, but he was just a big help because he volunteered to look after my spare bags while I was in France and Germany before coming back to London. I was going to either carry them all the way across France and Germany or put them in long-term bag storage for the two weeks, but Ollie told me just to keep them at his place and I can pick them up when I was leaving.
Although I missed Ollie, the trip to France and Germany was amazing, and it came with a whole clear headspace where I didn't have to think about it in the way that I was when I first came to London, which was the naïve Aussie guy who had no idea about a different way of life, and now it's about the person I want to be.
Getting back to London, Ollie has messaged me to tell me that he's on a flight to Nigeria overnight, so he probably won't get a chance to see me when I pick up my bag from his place, but that Rosie will be there. Heading over to his place, I feel strangely nervous because I don't know what Rosie is going to think of me, and I look awkward as I head over there and instead of using the code to buzz myself up, which Ollie gave me, I don't want to frighten Rosie by just knocking on the door with the security of the building.
I buzz on the apartment
Rosie: "Hello?"
Ollie: "Oh hey Rosie, it's Corey I'm..."
Rosie: "Yep, I remember you from the first day, Ollie told me; come straight up"
I head up to the apartment and knock on the door as Rosie opens the door and she lets me in.
"Hey Corey, Ollie said your bags are in his room", she says as I don't want to hold her up much as the whole vibe of the apartment is totally different to when I was last in there when it was dark and a lot more intimate as opposed to Rosie who has every window open and what sunlight there is coming through.
I'm grabbing my bag as she stands in the door "Do you want a coffee or something before you head off?" she says as I don't want to say no and be rude, but I don't really want to impede on her and her routine.
"Thanks, but I'm alright, I don't want to intrude because I took up a lot of Ollie's time while I was here even though he volunteered and kept my bags here", I say as Rosie nods with a smile.
Her smile is quite big "Yeah, he talked a lot about meeting you and showing you around, which he really enjoyed, so I'm glad, I don't want to overstep, but he needed a new friend, and you seemed to be it", she says, as I smile a bit feeling embarrassed not knowing how much she told him, but I don't know what to say.
"I don't really know what to say, we just clicked on the plane over here and he wanted to show me around while he had time" Rosie nods her head and still offers me the coffee, but I tell her that I'm fine and I take one more look around the apartment and picture the fact that standing in the living room where the couch and coffee table is was where Ollie and I fucked.
Heading back to the hotel for the final time, there's a real sense of disappointment because I don't want to go home and lose all this freedom that I've got here in London and just knowing that I've got a friend like Ollie around because he just makes me feel good.
I lay back on the bed in the hotel, scrolling through photos again from London, Paris and across Germany, but I keep getting drawn back to the ones with Ollie, which I look at and see the genuine connection between the two of us as he looks at me with affection. Thinking about how I feel is tough because I don't even know how to feel about what is going to happen once we're apart and life goes back to normal. Does Ollie forget about me? And move on to his next guy even though he said that he doesn't do that and then at home will I forget about him eventually when we aren't talking as much.
Sitting into the late afternoon, the rain sets in again, and I'm tired, so I just listen to some music, dozing for a little bit before I decide to text my brother because Mum has an important day at work, and she still wanted to miss it to pick me up. I told her no because I didn't want her to miss what was important to her as a teacher because it's open day where she gets to show off her class and classroom.
I text my brother in a way today, hoping he has night shift again or isn't working, hoping he'd see the message.
Me: "Hey bro, I know it's short notice but wanna pick me up tomorrow morning?"
I don't know whether my brother is going to be awake, but he replies pretty quickly
Jake: "Yeah defs bro, give you some time to chill at my place before dealing with Mum, tell me the details"
I give him the details which I say tomorrow morning but it's really in a couple of mornings though I leave tomorrow morning here in London. The weather takes a turn for the positive, and I go for a walk again to explore one more time, getting in some proper photos and trying to style them up a bit, which gets me some strange looks as I put my camera on the ground to get the shots before the rain kicks back in and I head to the hotel.
The next morning, I make sure that every is packed and know where everything is before taking my bags out down to the hotel reception where they are going to keep them for the day as I check-out struggling to believe that it's already been three weeks since I left home to come to London.
There is nothing I would change about this trip at all because it's been a discovery process in so many ways, from exploring London physically but also mentally a discovery process. The trip has allowed me to explore my sexuality a lot, given that I've had sex with another guy three times and loved it where I've enjoyed the new side to myself despite it also bringing up plenty of complicated feelings about what I feel for someone and actually getting a greater insight into my brother's life with his issues about being gay and trying to negotiate his relationship with Tyler in the wider world.
The day flashes by before I head to the airport earlier to get through Customs and security as I check in pretty easily and drop the bags off, and my stomach is really nervous now because of my flight over here I was nervous but had Ollie to get me through it, but on this one, I don't know anybody and doubt the people sitting next to me are going to be anything like Ollie was next to me.
Finding my spot in the airport after I get through security, I don't want to leave it at all because it's a good spot to plane spot as there is a Virgin Atlantic plane landing right now as I look out the window, not knowing where it's come from as there are plenty of people around the place. The spot that I've found is good, and I take the obligatory farewell shot and post it on Instagram as my friends reply and like the post.
Sitting there, I'm focusing on eating something as the terminal is really filling up, and the area I'm in is super busy right now as I'm looking out the window until I hear a voice behind me as I'm trying to test my new camera I got before going across to mainland Europe.
"This seat taken at all bro?" I don't turn around, not wanting anyone to sit with me because I'd prefer not to sit with anyone; though it's so busy, there are some people sitting near me who are on the same flight back home, which is a big group.
I give a thumbs up as I shoot a photo of a British Airways A380 landing. "Yeah you can take the chair mate", I say, still not looking at the voice that is muffled by the loud noise of the terminal with it having people trying to talk over one another and announcements everywhere. The person sits down at the table. "I'd rather sit here if it's cool", he says as I don't understand why, but I guess there's a lack of seats as I keep looking.
Sitting there going through my camera and taking consistent shots, I feel a tap on my shoulder which annoys me "Are you going to at least turn around and look at me" I roll my eyes and then widen them.
"HOLY FUCK… WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I say and see that this whole time I should have recognised Ollie's voice straight away, but I think being in in the airport he wasn't trying to shout and that I didn't think he would be here because of the time earlier in the afternoon he was getting in, and I told him not to wait for me.
I see him smile as I get up and hug him tightly as he is in his full uniform jacket and all as I see his name badge "So Oliver… what the hell are you doing here?" he says as I can't believe that I'm seeing him one last time before the trip is over.
"The flight was about 3 hours late and when I got off the plane and back online I saw your picture on insta, I had to come up and see you," he says to me as I feel so special to have had a farewell party on both sides of the Atlantic that not many people had.
Seeing Ollie dressed in his full work outfit is amazing, considering that I've seen him now in total work formality with the jacket on, just the basic uniform and shirt, casual when we've gone out and, of course, totally naked, cum soaked, and sweaty after we fucked.
"How was Nigeria?" I ask as he should be asking me about the two weeks in France and Germany, but I take the lead on the conversation. "I don't usually leave the hotel, it doesn't really make my holiday destinations but for some of the others they love it", as he turns to me.
"Tell me about the rest of Europe, how was the trip and meet any other special guys to have fun with?" I tell him to shush a bit as people could hear us, but who would really care if they did right now because people wouldn't say anything, and too bad if they did because we are approving adults.
I roll my eyes as he says about the other guys, "Nope, didn't really focus on sex because what three times in a week was more than I'd had in months, so I was settled." Ollie laughs and rolls his eyes. "Oh come on, you could've picked out some absolute fucking stunners with how you look and Germany is so fucking good for men", he says as he embarrasses me, and I punch him in the arm.
"I'm not talking about this with all these people around" he rolls his eyes and sits there with a pout on his face before breaking out into laughter. "Ok, fine, but remember that you need to promise me that you aren't going to go back into your shell at all like I know your Mum is tough work, but you should be yourself and who you want to be and for your brother's sake", I nod my head as that is Ollie's biggest thing that he wants me to take away from the trip even though I know that it's going to be hard.
Sitting there, he puts his hand on mine "Your brother is going to need all the love and support that he can get with everything happening because even though you know he will get the love, it's not easy", he says as I nod my head and wonder if it will be the same for me if I ever did say to my parents that I'm in love with another guy because I think Mum could tolerate one son being gay but she just couldn't cope with both me and Jake being gay.
"I know, I think that Mum will be ok with Jake being gay, she likes Tyler… though as Jake's best friend I don't know about boyfriend" my worried mood starts to show as Ollie looks at me as he grabs my hand and squeezes it. "The thing is that you are going to be there for your brother and honestly…" Ollie looks at me and then sees the worry on my face.
"You're not thinking about Jake right now, are you?" he says as he can read me like a book, which is why I adore him so much because he just gets me the way nobody else does, but then at the same time I hate him for it.
"Of course I am… ok just thinking more about me and not anything like that but just that Mum not being happy or stuff like that" he nods but then just reminds me to focus on the fact that I had a good time and whether I did something or not that she wanted me to do should have no impact about when I think about the trip.
I'm not exactly truthful to Ollie about thinking about the reaction because my Mum is open-minded there's no issue with that, but she lives with a picture-perfect vision of the world in her mind that the world should be, and she thinks that Jake and I are going to get married, give her grandkids and stay living around where we are growing up which she did.
The thing though is I know Jake will get married, but it won't be the wedding that Mum pictured with a girl that he likes, and although I'm not ruling anything in or out in my life, she might not get it both ways, which I think would upset her.
Ollie sits there for a bit longer as I'm taking plane pictures, and I see how tired he is. "Why don't you head home? You look tired and deserve the rest" he looks at me, shaking my head, which I find sweet, but I don't mind because any time that we had today was a bonus.
"Nah, I don't wanna leave you alone here, and I enjoy spending all the time with you," I tell him to go no matter what because he should go home and get the rest because I need to get used to him not being around these days which makes me upset.
Standing up, I reassure him I will be ok to sit here alone for a little bit because it shouldn't be too long before boarding and I can go to the bathroom and get ready. Ollie stands up, and I hug him and look at him, not sure if it's the right thing to do, but he kisses me before I can kiss him, and it's probably deeper than I expected.
Ollie smiles and pulls away as he holds my hand. "Tell me when you get back, and I'll call you at a decent hour", he says to me as I smile and there are a few disapproving looks from people around us, but I don't care right now as he picks up his stuff and doesn't want to leave me sitting here although, at the same time, I'd rather just be staying in London with him.
I can't believe how much I've connected with Ollie as neither of us can let go of each other's hands, but eventually, we do, and I give him one more quick kiss on the lips and a hug. "Gonna miss you heaps, Corey," he says as I nod and tell him the same thing as he finally lets go and walks off.
My heart is breaking watching Ollie disappearing through the crowd of people, not knowing if I'll ever see him again because we never got to discuss how we properly felt about each other, but I learnt from what Rosie had to say yesterday that maybe there was something Ollie wanted to say to me but couldn't.
I finish getting myself ready by using the bathroom and grabbing some stuff to snack on on the plane, which costs me a fortune, but it's what you have to do at the airport, as boarding starts not long after.
I'm towards the front of the queue as the plane looks almost full tonight as I sit in my seat waiting to see who comes next to me, and there are a few hot guys who I know won't be anywhere as charming as Ollie, but none of them sits next to me instead I get a middle-aged lady with a toddler who is having a temper tantrum.
Sitting there, watching this kid have a temper tantrum, is the worst thing because I'm in a disappointed mood having to leave Ollie, the first person that I've really ever connected with, and having to go back to the helicopter parenting of my mother.
The flight isn't as bad as I thought it would be, which is good, but it's nowhere near as fun as it was with Ollie as I spend most of it trying to sleep, though I feel sorry for the person in the row in front of me who had his seat kicked more than enough times in the flight both to Singapore and then onto Sydney.
Getting off the plane, I'm worried that I'm going to be on the next episode of border security, thinking that I didn't tick the right box, but after what seems to be a long process with plenty of checks, I'm given the all clear and head out to arrivals not sure if my brother remembered that he needed to pick me up.
Looking around, I don't see my brother at first and check my phone before I look up and see him standing there looking almost as if he has come straight from the gym, which, knowing my brother lately, he probably has.
"Did I catch you straight after the gym?" I say, walking over as he is wearing his gym stuff, but at least he isn't all sweaty and smelly as he pulls me in for a hug as I hope that he takes a bag, but he just starts walking.
I look at him. "You could at least take my bag, Jakey" he rolls his eyes at me and takes what is the heaviest bag so that he can show off his "guns", as he calls them, which are good, but they're not anything spectacular.
Taking the long walk to the car park, my brother doesn't really say much. "How's everything going at the moment?" I say as I worry about things not being that good at home with him and either Mum or Tyler.
"Same same", he says, not really expanding on what he is saying as I want some more information as we get to Tyler's car, not Jake's. "I've got Ty's car because mine, some prick in a Tesla sideswiped it last week, so it's getting detailed again", he says as I nod my head and just laugh because my brother hasn't had luck with cars.
Putting the bags into the back of Tyler's BMW, I get in the front seat and look at Jake "Have you told Mum anything at all yet about you two?" I say putting the pressure on him because if there is one thing that I learnt from Ollie, it is that I can't just let things to be what they are and think they will make me happy.
"Nah, I mean, I was going to the other night, but she wouldn't shut up about what is going on in the street, so I didn't and just went back to Tyler's", he says as I nod my head a bit frustrated but totally understand why he doesn't.
Sitting in the car, Jake pulls out of the carpark and heads a different way. "I thought you would prefer to go to my place for a bit to relax rather than head straight home because there's no hovering, and we can chill for a bit, and you can give me my stuff", he says with a smile, and I nod my head keen to check out his new apartment.
I don't even know where it is right now as we drive across the Harbour as I wonder if there is a deliberate reason that my brother moved further away from where my family lives, but I don't blame him either way.
As we get to his place, I just follow him in, taking one bag with me that has some of the stuff that I bought for him so he can have some of it now that I told Mum that I wasn't going to get him because he goes out and travels enough though now he wants to settle down.
The two of us go up to the apartment, which astounds me, and instantly, I want to move in with him, which he would probably let me do, in all honesty, but I don't want to impede him from setting up his new life with Tyler and their relationship.
I flop down on the brand-new couch, and everything smells just brand new, which is amazing. My brother makes me a coffee, knowing the way I like it better than even I can make it, as he sits there and looks at me.
"You want your stuff, don't you?" he nods his head as I just grab my bag of stuff and take out a heap of stuff that I bought for both myself and Jake, plus a couple of things for Dad, even though he didn't want anything.
Going through the stuff, my brother is excited as he picks out the big stuff now, like the personalised jersey that he wanted that for some reason, Mum told me not to splurge on it even if he did give me the money for it because she has never really got the Football bug like my brother and I have. The rest of the stuff I put in the bag as we chill for a bit as he tells me everything that I have missed around and then the warning of how Mum has been.
"How has Mum been? She seemed testy with me because I didn't want to do anything she was trying to book for me, and then when I told her that we didn't need to talk all the time," I say worried that she's still annoyed.
Jake just rolls his eyes "She bitched at me the first time you two sort of had words on the phone and I just put back to her that would she have liked for Grandma to be booking anything for her and she didn't seem happy with that response but said no but tried to claim it was different".
"That's what I said to her and got her back up, maybe she is more like Grandma than what she wants to admit" we both laugh and nod our heads as I ask if I can crash for a bit, which Jake tells me to use his room because the spare room doesn't have a bed in it yet, but I tell him I'm happy to just crash on the couch.
I fall asleep and hear my phone go off a couple of times with messages, which I ignore and just lay there hoping to have a good sleep for a bit, which I do as I lay there before Jake wakes me up.
"Hey bro, didn't want to disturb the snoring but we should get you home before Mum gets home because she'll know you were here and well… I don't want you to overload you more than what you are because if she knows you came here and asked me to pick you up." I nod my head and we head down to the car, it's about 1:30 and should take about an hour to get home so we head off.
I sit there in the car checking my phone and see that I missed a few messages from Ollie as I feel bad for missing them and not talking to him, but I know he'd understand.
Ollie: "Hey you, hope you got in safely and don't feel pressured to call me until your ready because I know it's probably hectic there❤️"
Me: "Hey, sorry I missed this I was with my brother and then had a sleep at his place so only just checked it, hmu when you're cool and I'll chat to you about how it went tonight."
Jake looks over at my messages "Oooh did Corey meet someone over in London?" he says as I lean across and punch him and tell him to mind his own business. "Hey, I told you about when Tyler and I started dating", he says, looking across at me as he laughs and smirks.
"If I remember correctly… it was less telling me you two were dating than you two not realising I didn't have Uni and were fucking in your room, banging against my wall", I say as Tyler runs facepalms sitting at the traffic lights as I say that. "I always forget about that, at least you didn't walk in on us", he says, which was always my fear when I knew they were together and I was playing gatekeeper for them to spend time together like that when Tyler wasn't out to his family.
"Nah just saw Tyler covered in cum about 15 minutes later when you were in the shower" he really feels embarrassed as it was that sort of thing that he tried to
We drive home and pull up as I see Dad's ute in the driveway "Fuck…" I say as Jake looks across at me, confused. "What? Dad's home?" he asks as I nod my head, and he looks at me with a smile.
"It's all cool, I told Dad that you were coming to my place for a bit and he's just gonna play along", I say, breathing a sigh of relief because I thought for sure that it would be an issue given he does work at the airport and would've known when the plane landed and how I would've been home at like 9 am.
Dad is excited to see me, and the three of us pretty much straight away go into a conversation about the Chelsea game, which is a relaxing relief until the show that will take place once Mum gets home.
