LAYLA DOES IT
Fenn Houghton heard the door open in the darkness of the night. Beside him Dylan was sleeping and his mouth, turned away from Fenn, thankfully, was drooling onto the comforter. He thought of waking Dylan and telling him to put on his pajamas, but then decided to climb over him and out of the room first.
In the dark hallway, Brendan Miller was pulling his shoes off with his feet, and his coat was folded over his arm. Fenn waited in the dark until Brendan stumbled into him.
“Fenn?” he said after a preliminary shout.
“Who else?”
“Anyone else,” Brendan said. “What are you doing here?”
“Visiting, silly.”
“Well… how long have you been here?”
“We came this morning. I guess Kenny is asleep now. So is Dylan.”
“Dylan’s here? Shouldn’t he be in school?”
“He should be with me,” Fenn said, following Brendan into the kitchen.
“Well… excellent,” said Brendan opening the refrigerator. “Are you thirsty?”
“I could drink.”
“How about a Fresca? I love a Fresca. How’s Layla?”
“Her poetry reading is tomorrow night at the theatre.”
“I wish I could be there.”
Fenn popped open the Fresca and it fizzed. “I wish I could too.”
“Whaddo you mean you wish you could…Oh, God, I’m so hungry. I should order a pizza!”
“Dylan needs a few days off of his life.”
“Really? What’s wrong?”
“That’s sort of for him to tell. But I need some days off of my life too. And we really came for Kenny.”
“Good,” Brendan said, studying him as he slurped on the straw. “He’s lonely.”
“Brendan, that’s the understatement of the year.”
When Brendan said nothing, Fenn added, “Is it always like this?”
“Me coming in late? Kenny passed out? Us never seeing each other? Yes.”
“That’s not good,” Fenn sat down, brushing his shirtsleeves and yawning. He felt distinctly rumpled.
“We should put some coffee on,” Brendan said. “That’s precisely what I’m about to do. How are Dena and Milo?”
“You’d know if you called.”
“Ouch, that’s not fair. I have Godiva. I have Duncan Donuts and I have Starbucks.”
“I don’t care.”
“You have to pick one.”
“Godiva.”
“Okay, do you want Mocha Almond, Vanilla Rest or—”
“I want you to put five damn scoops in the pot to make four cups.”
Brendan sighed and said… “You Rossford people are so unrefined.”
When Brendan blinked, he looked across the room and saw Fenn sitting there, looking at him over his cup of coffee.
“That is the second time this day someone has fallen asleep while talking to me. I’m going to start taking it personally.”
“I’m so sorry.” Brendan realized he was splayed out with a crook in his neck. He got up, rounded the coffee table and sat beside Fenn.
“Do you know I even fall asleep during sex?”
“Really?”
“Me and Kenny thought we should be romantic. Or at least sexual. I fell asleep while he was giving me head.”
“That’s… I can imagine that happening when you’re tired and…”
“I fell asleep while I was fucking him.”
Fenn blinked.
“Yeah,” Brendan nodded grimly. “You’re supposed to pass out after, not during. Generally I try not to pass out at all. What’s happening to me?”
“You’re stretched out. All your time is for work.”
“It is. It’s hard here, Fenn. It’s nice. It’s beautiful. But it’s hard.”
“There are other places than here.”
“Rossford?”
“Yes, but there’re other places than Rossford too.
“Kenny’s so miserable,” Fenn said. He did not look at Brendan while he spoke.
“Only one of you is making it here, and just barely.”
“You want to take him back,” Brendan said.
“He won’t leave you. That’s the way he sees it. But he’s dying here. Except for that job, and it’s temporary.”
Brendan didn’t look at Fenn.
“I told him that was a good idea. Leaving. I suggested it,” Brendan said, more to himself than to Fenn.
“I can’t just pick up and leave, and he can’t stay.”
“Do you want to stay here?”
“Am I choosing between Kenny and a city?”
“A little,” Fenn said.
“Then am I cheating on Ken by wanting the city? It’s not good for me. It really isn’t. But… I’m addicted to it. I’m not ready to leave.”
Fenn nodded.
“Do you think that’s horrible?”
“You’ve been with Kenny longer than I’ve been raising Dylan. When I was your age I had broken up with Tom, and I was single and could do what I wanted.”
“But do you think that’s bad of me?” said Brendan.
“When I was with Tom,” Fenn said, “I wanted to hold him to me. Because I was very young and a little foolish. I was okay with him giving up something for me. But when Bryant came he was all of those things that Tom had given up, and everything they did together was a little act of rebellion against me.”
Brendan waited for Fenn to continue.
“Don’t make yourself a martyr. If you leave Chicago now, part of you will always resent Kenneth.”
“I won’t,” Brendan said, sounding stubborn, a little like a child.
“You will,” Fenn, who had no child left in him, said. “Tomorrow, I will take Kenneth back home with me. Nothing’s permanent. We can see how things work from there.”
Logan had already said, “I think I should go right now.”
“No,” Meredith told him. “It isn’t necessary. This isn’t that private. Stay.”
“No,” Logan disagreed. “Everything we needed to sort out is sorted out.”
He looked at Sheridan. “Isn’t it?”
Sheridan nodded.
“I’ll walk you downstairs,” he said.
Coming down the stairs to the little lobby, they were both aware that in the lobby they might be seen. It wasn’t for someone else to know and tell. It wasn’t for Chay to find out should he happen to walk in. They embraced, holding each other close and rocking a little bit.
“So it’s all sorted. We’re together now?”
“Yeah,” Sheridan said.
“Good. It wouldn’t have been much point in me coming back if we weren’t going to be together.”
“You don’t really mean that,” Sheridan said. But Logan kissed him softly on the cheek and said, “I do.”
He was wearing an old sweatshirt that smelled of his ginger cologne, and he lifted the hood up and then, stuffing his hands in his pockets, went down the steps. Sheridan turned around and went back up before Logan could turn and look at him, and he wondered why he did that even as he came back into the apartment.
“I’m not going back to Mathan,” was the first thing Meredith said. She was sitting on the sofa that faced the front door as Sheridan entered, and her hands were clasping her knees.
“That’s over, it’s all over, and I can’t go back.”
Sheridan was nodding as he came to sit down beside her, and Meredith turned to him.
“It’s not that it’s bad. Mathan’s a wonderful guy. Isn’t he?”
“Yeah. Yes.”
“But it’s not GREAT. I want it to be great. I don’t want to wonder what it’s like on the other side.”
“Well, Meredith, you’ve never really been to the other side.”
“I know. My experience is so limited. All I’ve had is Mathan, and I’m like a ball and chain and he’s like a ball and chain, and I just… I want to try something new.”
Sheridan began to open his mouth, thought about what he was going to say, and then said it anyway.
“Something… or someone?”
“Hum?”
“Is there a particular someone?”
“Kip Danley,” Meredith said quickly.
“Kip Danley? Are you serious?”
“I am serious.”
“I know you like him. I know he’s sort of your friend, and I’ll never understand that. And he raped Robin.”
“No, he didn’t. He was there. He was semi-involved. But he tried to stop it, and he was good to her.”
“He went to jail because he was one of the guys in the gang rape. He didn’t walk away. He was one of the guys that Robin sucked off, and it doesn’t matter that he didn’t fuck her or didn’t fuck her violently, or that he felt bad about getting blown by her. He did it and… I just can’t see you falling for him.”
“He made a mistake, so he doesn’t get to love anyone?”
“He shouldn’t get to love you,” Sheridan said. “Not her friend. And… not when you’re leaving Mathan. I mean you put Mathan on one hand and a rapist on the other, and it’s not hard to see who’s worth more, Mere.”
“Well, you put Chay on one hand and a low budget porn star on the other, and it isn’t hard to see who’s worth more, either. So, why did Logan just leave?”
“We better both chill out,” Sheridan decided. He sat down heavily on the couch and said nothing.
“I think you’re right,” Meredith agreed.
“It’s just… I don’t understand,” Sheridan said.
“I don’t understand either,” Meredith told him. “That’s why I came to you.”
Sheridan nodded.
“Chay’s my best friend. He means so much to me. But Logan came back for me, and since he’s been back I’ve just really wanted him. And I don’t mean for sex. I mean I miss our relationship. I really miss him. And love him. And he loves me.”
“Are you leaving Chay?”
“He just moved in. He just moved in because I begged him to.”
Meredith nodded her head and placed a hand over Sheridan’s.
“But I am leaving him,” he said, at last.
