Forgiveness & the Forsaken
Tim awoke to Chris calling his name, “Tim. Time to get up! We need to eat breakfast and head to the house.” Tim sleepily rubbed his eyes and asked, “Can I get a shower first?” Chris smiled and said, “Sure, sleepyhead. Jer and I can handle breakfast. Just don’t take too long.”
As Chris returned to the kitchen, Jeremy watched as Tim sleepily trudged toward the bathroom and laughed, “I remember not being a happy morning person at that age, too, but once I started my workout, I was ready to go.” Chris said, “Yeah, but Tim never had that motivation from his dad to get into any kind of sports, but maybe we can help him get some exercise with us when we work out or maybe playing football and basketball with the guys.” Jeremy said, “That’s a good idea, but we’re probably going to have to ease him into it.”
Tim came out of the bathroom in a pair of boxers just in time for waffles with Strawberries and blueberries covered in real maple syrup, bacon and scrambled eggs with toast. As he was eating, Tim said, “It was a lot quieter last night than it was when Elijah was here.” Chris asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Tim shrugged and said, “Don’t you guys have sex when one of you isn’t there?” Chris almost spit out the coffee he was just taking a sip of. Jer grinned and said, “No Tim. That’s not the case. We don’t set any rules for our relationship. Sex may be an important part of a relationship, but it’s not everything. Sometimes you just talk or sometimes you just silently cuddle, loving each other’s company. Many times, the three of us just cuddle together rather than having sex. Sure, we’re young and always horny, but even then, sometimes you just want to quietly cuddle together.” Tim listened and said, “Yeah, I understand that sex isn’t everything, but after, um, I mean, never mind.” Once they finished breakfast, they cleaned up and got ready to head out. Chris took Tim to get his books and then dropped him off a few blocks from school, but on the opposite side of the school so he would approach it from a different direction just in case.
After school, Tim found Mrs. Summers waiting for him in the new spot. He didn’t have any after-school surprise waiting for him this time. Once they got back to the house, Tim changed clothes into something better suited for working in a shop and Chris took him over to the Reynolds after picking up Travis. On the way, Tim said to Travis, “I have to warn you ahead of time, Mrs. Reynolds can be a little, uh, umm, frisky I guess is the best word to describe her.” Chris laughed, “You were supposed to let him find out for himself, Tim.” Tim said, “Yeah, that’s what happened to me. They set me up! Mrs. Reynolds is giving me a hug and suddenly she’s pinching my butt! I froze, not knowing what to do. When I looked, everyone was laughing. They knew she was going to do that.” Travis was grinning. Chris said, “They did the same thing to me. It’s turned into a rite of passage. She’s harmless though and Mr. Reynolds doesn’t mind at all, so don’t worry about that.” When Chris arrived at the Reynolds, he made sure that Mr. Reynolds was ok with Travis coming along. He was actually overjoyed at having another ‘student’.
As Josh pulled up to the Fisher house, he saw his dad’s car parked nearby, “Fuck! That’s my dad’s car! What’s he doing here?” Matt said, “I don’t know, Josh, but sooner or later you’re going to have to talk to them.” Instead, Josh drove by the house. Matt said, “Josh, are you going to try to avoid them forever?” Josh had tears in his eyes as he said, “My dad walked out after I told them, and my mom wanted me to leave! What would we have to talk about now? They obviously don’t want me there!” Matt said, “You told me yourself that your mom’s been trying to contact you. You keep declining her calls. At least listen to what they have to say. I doubt they came over to be ugly. What’s the worst that could happen?” Josh pulled over to the curb and stopped, “What if they just brought my things over. What if they want me out of their house for good.” Matt put his hand on Josh’s and said, “So, that’s what you’re worried about. Think about it, if they were just bringing your things, wouldn’t they have just dropped them off?” Josh said, “Maybe. Maybe they want to tell me they’re stopping my tuition payments. I don’t know!” Matt said, “You’re scared, Josh, but that’s understandable. But think about it; if they did want to stop your tuition payments, wouldn’t you want to know about it instead of finding out after they’ve done it?”
Julie Sanders asked, “How soon before they get home?” Melony Fisher replied, “They’re usually home by now. I’m not sure what’s keeping them.” Brock Sanders said, “They probably saw my car and decided not to come home until we leave. I didn’t want to hide the fact that we were here. I was hoping Josh would take that as a sign that we wanted to see him.” Julie Sanders took a tissue out of the box on the table next to her chair and dabbed her eyes, “I hope he decides to see us. He needs to hear what we have to say to him.” Melony Fisher put her hand on Julie’s shoulder to console her. David Fisher said, “Let me call my son and see what’s keeping them.” Just then, they heard the front door open. David Fisher said, “Why don’t you wait here, and I’ll go talk to them first and then ask Josh to come in and talk to you.” Brock Sanders nodded.
As David Fisher came out from the living room, Matt asked, “Dad, the Sanders are in there, aren’t they?” David Sanders nodded and then said, “Josh, they’d like to talk to you. They seem very concerned about you. I know they didn’t handle things very well when you came out to them, but people handle news in different ways by what their previous beliefs had been. People’s ideas can and do change, Josh. At least listen to what they have to say.” Josh said, “I’ll listen to what they have to say, but only out of respect for you and Mrs. Fisher.”
Josh stepped into the living room. Melony Fisher gave him a comforting smile, patted his shoulder and then left the room, closing the door behind her. Josh stopped, just inside the door and looked straight ahead as his parents looked at him. Tears began running down his mom’s cheeks as she got up, went over to him, and then embraced him tightly, “Oh, Josh. My baby. I’m so sorry for how I acted the other day. I never should have talked to you the way I did. You were bearing your heart to us, and we shut you out. Please forgive us.” As his mom sobbed into his chest, Josh looked at his father stone-faced.” Brock looked at his son and got up. He slowly approached him and reached up and squeezed his shoulder, “Josh, I’d like to apologize to you. I can’t take back what I said to you, so I can only ask you to forgive me for the horrible things I said.” Josh asked, “Why this sudden change? Last week neither of you wanted anything to do with me.” Mrs. Sanders began crying harder as she sobbed, “I’m so sorry, honey. I acted terribly! I’m your mother. I should have been by your side.” Brock then said, “And I’m your father and I acted like a hateful stranger and treated you like shit. I’ve learned a lot since that moment. Can you find it in your heart to forgive us, and if not, will you at least listen to what we have to say?” Josh nodded, “I’m willing to listen.” Mrs. Sanders stepped back and gave Josh a slight smile as she wiped tears from her cheeks. With a crack in her voice she asked Josh, “Will you sit down while we talk?” Josh nodded and sat in a chair, facing them. Once Mrs. Sanders sat back down, Brock said, “Go ahead, Julie.” Josh’s mom said, “As soon as you went out the door, I regretted what I said. I should have been consoling you as any other mother probably would have. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I was in shock, but there is no excuse for what I said, Josh. I’m so sorry that I failed you as a mother in that moment.” Brock then said, “When I left, I went to a bar, got drunker than I’ve ever been and vented my homophobia. Then this other guy began denigrating you as well and I got angry about it. I was thinking that I was the only one who should talk about you in that way. I almost got up and decked the guy. The bartender thanked me for not doing it. He also gave me some advice, but I was too drunk to let it sink in. He sent me home in an uber or something. Your mom had to take me to get my car the next day so I could go to work. Then your mom told me we were going to have a talk after dinner one night. I wasn’t in the mood, but you know your mom; when her mind is made up, you can’t argue with her. She made me read some information about homosexuality before we had dinner. I must admit, it made me think. Your mom also said something to me that I remembered the bartender saying, that you didn’t choose to be gay or bi or whatever, whoever you are. I thought it was unnatural but then I read there is evidence of it in nature. I recalled the bartender also asked me ‘why would anyone make a choice that would make their lives so much more complicated’. Your mom gave me a quiz over dinner to make sure I read the stuff she gave me.” Josh’s mom said, “He actually read it.” Brock continued, “I did. Your mom then made me watch a movie called Love Simon. It made me uncomfortable at first, but as I watched and saw how he tried to hide his own homosexuality while trying to meet someone like himself, it was painful. Then I thought about what you must have been going through and the courage you must have had to tell us. By the end of the movie, I was cheering the Simon character on. I’m genuinely sorry about how I treated you that night and I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me someday. There will still be things that will probably make me uncomfortable, but just know I’m going to try and be the father that will still push you to be your best, but most importantly, to be who you are.” Josh’s eyes were watering as he asked, “Do you really mean that, dad?” Brock looked at his son and said, "We both do, son. Please think about coming home, for your mom’s sake, and mine.” Josh smiled through his tears, and he said, “I’ll think about it.” Brock got up and so did Josh, and they were soon embracing in a tight hug. Julie quickly joined them. When they eventually broke apart, all three had watery eyes. Brock said to Josh, “Would you please ask your boyfriend, Matt, to come in? I have something I need to say to him.” Josh went out and asked Matt to come in. Matt stepped through the door and Josh closed it behind him. Matt said, “Good to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Sanders.” Brock shocked both Matt and Josh when he began, “Enough with the politeness, Matt! I said some very nasty things to you last week and blamed you for the whole issue. Please accept my heartfelt apologies. I’ve been an ass to you since the first time Josh brought you into our house, thinking of you as not as worthy of a friend as Elijah. I feel horrible for it, but just know that it’s my problem, not yours. You’ve always been kind and polite to us and I’m going to try and be kind and somewhat polite in return. I mean I’ve never been the polite type.” Mrs. Sanders said, “You’re right about that.” Mr. Sanders laughed and said, “Anyway, Matt, you are welcome in our house anytime and I’ll never slander you in that way again.” Matt smiled and said, “All is forgiven, Mr. Sanders. I know you were just lashing out and I just happened to be the target.” Mr. Sanders said, “You became the target because I refused to blame myself for failing Josh. But that’s just it, I thought I had failed Josh and that’s how he ended up becoming a homosexual or bisexual or whatever. The fact is, there was no failure. Josh is the same person he’s always been. I allowed my own faults and prejudices to cloud my thoughts. Like I said, Josh is the same kind, hard-working person he’s ever been, and I couldn’t be a prouder father.” Brock drew Josh in for another hug and Julie joined in. Brock looked at Matt and motioned for him to join them. Mr. and Mrs. Fisher entered the room to find the four embracing and they smiled. As they separated, Brock said to Matt, “And Matt, no more Mr. Sanders, it’s Your Highness. Just kidding, it’s Brock from now on.”
When Chris picked up Tim and Travis from the Reynolds, they were both excited. Tim said, “My projects are going to be so fire when they’re done!” Travis said, “Yeah, they are, and I’m working on one too for my mom! Mr. Reynolds is great and so is Mrs. Reynolds, although Tim was right, she did pinch my butt, twice. She did it right after we met and again when she hugged me when we were leaving, and then she laughed. She’s really a very sweet old lady. Kind of like a granma with a dirty mind, haha.” Chris said, “Tim, you said projects as in plural. I only remember you making one knick-knack shelf.” Tim said, “I started another one today.” Then gave Travis a look. Travis just gave a knowing nod. Instead of taking Travis home right away, Chris took him to his house to introduce him to his parents. He had told them about Travis earlier and they wanted to meet him. He ended up staying for dinner. It was clear that the Summers liked him. After dinner, Chris, Tim and Travis played some video games before they took Travis home. On the way back, Tim asked, “Can you take us back to the Reynolds on Wednesday?” Chris said, “Sure. I’m surprised you weren’t bragging all through dinner about your project,” Tim suddenly looked serious, “Chris, could you not talk about it in front of your parents, especially your mom?” Chris said, “Why? They’d love to hear about what you’re working on. Wait! You’re not implying that you’re making that for mom, are you?” Tim said, “That’s why I’m making two of them. One for my mom and one for your parents, but I guess your mom will like a knick-knack shelf more than your dad will.” Chris smiled and said, “They’ll both love it, Tim. That’s very nice of you.” Tim said, “It doesn’t come close to what you and your parents have done for me. Is there a way I can talk to you and Jeremy together this week? It’s important.” Chris said, “I’m not sure. Jer usually works every night after classes. Is it something I can pass on to him?” Tim said, “I’d rather talk to you together. I’ve been talking to Travis, and I think I have an idea, but I want to talk to you and Jeremy about it.” I want to tell the two of you together, but it has to be before my birthday.” Chris said, “You want us to teach you how to drive so that when you turn eighteen, you can get your license pretty quickly, right?” Tim said, “Would you teach me to drive?” Chris said, “Sure, but not on a street until you have your permit.” Tim said, “That’s ok. I don’t mind.” Chris said, “Somehow I don’t think that’s what you wanted to talk to Jer and I about, now.” Tim said, “It’s not. This is more serious.” Chris wasn’t sure what Tim needed to talk about, but as soon as they got back home, he sent Jeremy a text. Within a half hour, Jeremy replied to the text, and they set up a Zoom call an hour later. Contents of the Zoom call will be revealed in another chapter. Chris was visibly concerned after the call, “I hope you realize It’s against my better judgement, but if that’s what you want to do, I’ll do my best to support you.” Tim said, “Thanks, Chris. I’ve decided I need to do this.” Before going to bed, Tim made a call to Travis. Travis tried to talk Tim out of doing what he’d decided on but couldn’t convince him not to go through with it.
The rest of the week, Chris and Travis tried to talk Tim out of going through with what he was planning. Travis was telling him, “You don’t need to do this, Tim. You’ll get to do everything you want without putting yourself through the embarrassment and danger.” Chris told him, “This guy will try to abuse you way more than he has so far. It could be worse than you think. If things go wrong, who knows what he might do to you. Please rethink this, Tim.”
Tuesday afternoon, the phone rang in the church office of the Reverend Smith. It was a number he didn’t recognize, but that wasn’t unusual. Reverend Smith picked up, “This is Reverend Smith of the Holy Scripture of God, may I help you?” “Reverend Smith, this is Tim Houston. I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I’d like to take you up on your offer of showing me the path to righteousness so my father might welcome me back into his house. I really miss them; I’d really like to go to college, and I don’t have a way to pay for it if he refuses.” Reverend Smith said, “I’m very happy to hear from you, Tim. After our last conversation, I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you.” Tim replied, “Yes, I know. I was upset because I was homeless and trying to stay in school. Some people tried to help me, but I realized if I was going to go to college, this would be my only path without going into debt for the rest of my life.” Reverend Smith said, “Tim, you realize this won’t be a couple weeks, but months before you are ready to return home to your parents.” Tim replied, “I’m willing to do whatever I must to get back into God’s graces, Reverend Smith. I want to say my goodbyes to those who’ve tried to help me, so I could come by the church on Friday, after school if that’s ok.” Reverend Smith smiled and said, “Of course, Tim. That would be a good time. I’m glad you are taking the time to thank those who’ve tried to help you. It shows you haven’t strayed too far from the Lord. I’ll be in my office Friday evening.” Tim said, “Thank you for offering to help me through this hard time, Reverend Smith. I can’t thank you enough.” Reverend Smith said, “That’s what I’m here for, Tim, to help those in need.” As the call ended, Tim wondered if he was doing the right thing. Reverend Smith hung up the phone with a smile on his face.
Tim and Travis were alone in the shop for a few minutes and Travis asked Tim, “Is there any way I can talk you out of going to the church Friday?” Tim was quiet for a few seconds as doubt crept into him. He shook it off and said, “No. I’ve made up my mind. I have to do this, Travis. It’s the only way I will be able to move forward in my life.” Travis stepped up to Tim, kissed him lightly and said, “I wish you luck, but I don’t know that you’re making a good decision here.” Tim didn’t respond. His own doubts about his decision were too strong to tell Travis he disagreed with him. Mr. Reynolds walked into the shop and asked, “How’s it going, boys?” Tim asked, “Do you think this is ready to assemble, Mr. Reynolds?” Henry said, “Well, let me take a look.” He picked the pieces up one by one and turned them over, looking at every edge and ran the back of his hand over the surface. Then he smiled and said, “Very good, Tim. Yep, go ahead and assemble it, then one last clear coat.” Tim said, “Thanks, Mr. Reynolds. If you don’t mind, I’d like to come over tomorrow and Thursday to try and finish my projects.” Mr. Reynolds said, “Of course you can, but what’s the hurry?” Tim said, “I have to go somewhere on Friday and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to return.” Mr. Reynolds looked at Tim and said, “You don’t look very thrilled about taking this trip. You’re not in some kind of trouble, are you?” Tim said, “No! It’s just something I have to do.” Mr. Reynolds glanced at Travis and then back to Tim, “I have a feeling you’re not going to tell me, are you?” Tim made eye contact, “I’m sorry, Mr. Reynolds. I can’t.” Henry nodded and said, “Very well. I won’t bother you about it again. Let’s see how much we can get done in the next two days. Ok Travis, let’s see how you’re coming along.” Travis said, “It didn’t get as dark as I wanted, so I had to reapply the stain, Mr. Reynolds.” Mr. Reynolds smiled and said, “Well, too light is something you can correct. Too dark, not so much. You’re doing just fine. I hope you don’t need to have your project finished by Thursday.” Travis said, “No, sir, but I can’t come by Friday. Is it ok if I come by even if Tim can’t after that?” Mr. Reynolds smiled and said, “Of course you can, Travis.”
When Chris came for Tim and Travis, Mr. Reynolds walked him outside and asked, “Is Tim in some kind of trouble, Chris? He told me he needs to finish his projects by Thursday because he’s going somewhere.” Chris said, “Tim has made a decision that I don’t really agree with, but he’s made up his mind and I have to let him do what he feels he needs to. I can’t really tell you more than that right now, Henry. I just hope things turn out ok for him, but I’m afraid they won’t.” Henry said, “It sounds serious.” Chris said, “It is.” Henry said, “I can see the concern in your eyes. I’ll keep Tim in my prayers, Chris.” Chris smiled weakly, “Thanks, Henry. Me too.”
Tuesday afternoon after Matt and Josh returned from school. Matt went into the kitchen to tell his mom that Josh wouldn’t be staying for dinner while Josh went upstairs to grab some things. When he came down, he joined Matt and Mrs. Fisher in the kitchen to say goodbye. Mrs. Fisher said, “Tell your parents I said hello. I’m so glad things turned out so well for you, Josh. Now, don’t be a stranger.” Josh smiled, Thanks for allowing us to bear our souls in your living room yesterday, and thank you, Matt for talking some sense into me and getting me to come in and face them. I think things will return to normal now, or at least some form of it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Fisher. We’re riding together.” Matt walked Josh to the front door where they kissed. He then walked Josh to his Miata where he almost kissed him again. Josh said, “I’ll see you tomorrow and thanks again for yesterday. It’s going to feel strange sleeping alone for a change. Are you sure you don’t want to stay over?” Matt said, “Yeah, I’m sure. I think you need a night alone with your mom and dad. Maybe tomorrow night.” Josh smiled, “I guess you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The Mazda fired up and soon Josh was waving as he drove down the street.
As soon as Josh opened the front door, he was attacked. His mom jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly as she sobbed out, “Welcome home, Josh.” Josh hugged her back and said, “Mom, please don’t cry. You’re going to have us both crying. What’s that I smell? Are you making spaghetti?” She nodded, “I know you love spaghetti.” Josh smiled as his heart was in his throat keeping him from talking. He hugged his mom a little tighter.
As they finished dinner and Mrs. Sanders was clearing the table, Josh started to get up to help her. She pushed him back down by his shoulder, “I’ll take care of this, Josh. Your dad wants to talk to you.” Josh looked to his dad, wondering what he was going to say. His dad began, “Picking up where we left off last night, Josh, please give me a little time to get used to this bisexual or homosexual stuff. Matt can come over any time he wants, and he can sleep here with you too, but please, try to keep it as quiet as possible.” Josh said, “Dad! You’re embarrassing me. Mom’s right here. Mrs. Sanders smiled and said, “I agree with your father, please keep the noise down.” Josh covered his face, “Oh my God. I can’t believe you two!” Brock Sanders laughed as he watched his son squirm uncomfortably and recalled that it resembled the time he had given him the sex talk. His laughter died into a smile of pride. He had his son back. He was not going to lose him again. He said, “Why don’t you join me in the living room for a drink. We’ll see if there’s a game on.”
Wednesday, Jeremy and Chris were having lunch and Chris was saying, “I’ve been trying to convince Tim not to return to that bastard ‘Reverend’ Smith on Friday, but it seems he’s made up his mind.” Jeremy replied, “I could tell he had his mind made up during the conference call. That’s why I didn’t argue too much, but I’m worried as well. After he described what that monster did to him already, I think he’s crazy to potentially face even worse, but he thinks it’s for the better.” Chris said, “After all he’s been through, it breaks my heart that he’s willing to take the chance that he might suffer worse.” Jeremy nodded, “I feel the same way, but that’s why we have to be there for him when we can. We have to do our best to make sure he doesn’t become that victim that we fear he might become if we fail him. He made the decision to do this, and he knew he had to do it right away. We have to give him our support.” Chris nodded even though he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
When Chris picked Tim and Travis up on Thursday, he was amazed at Tim’s excitement. He had finished his projects with some help from Mr. Reynolds, but he refused to show them to Chris for some reason. They were one of the few things he possessed which he wasn’t entrusting to Chris and his parents before returning to the church on Friday. After placing the box of his finished projects in the car, Tim went back inside the shop to say goodbye to Mr. Reynolds, “Thank you so much for all you’ve taught me and for helping me make those gifts that are so fire.” Mr. Reynolds laughed and said I don’t understand about this new slang, but wood and fire are only appropriate when camping.” Tim laughed and said, “Mr. Reynolds, do you like camping?” Mr. Reynolds smiled and said, “I do, but we haven’t gone in several years. Why do you ask?” Tim said, “Well, when I get through what I have to do, I would really like to go camping with you and Mrs. Reynolds.” Mr. Reynolds teared up and said, “I’d like that, Tim, but at our age, we would be staying in our camper, not in some tent on the ground.” Tim laughed and said, “As long as you’re there with me, that’s what matters.” Mr. Reynolds then said, “We could take your friends with too, if you want.” It was Tim’s turn to tear up as he said, “I’d like that, Mr. Reynolds.” Mr. Reynolds gave Tim a hug before saying, “Whatever you’ve decided you have to do, Tim. Me and the Mrs. will keep you in our prayers and hope you come back to us soon.”
While Tim was inside, Travis said to Chris, “Chris, I’m really worried about Tim. I’m afraid of what Reverend Smith might do to him.” Chris said, “Me too, Travis, but Tim feels like he has to do this. And we need to respect his decision and be there for him when he needs us.” Travis said, “I wish I could be that strong. I even offered to go to the police with him if he wouldn’t do this, but he said Reverend Smith would accuse us of plotting against him. He’s probably right, and his father would more than likely side with Reverend Smith.”
End of Chapter 57
