—- Ten Years Ago —-
“I missed you Tim…” Tim just smiled and once again got a little cold feet and got up. “Are you fucking kidding me right now….” Tyler said looking at Tim doing the exact same thing he did all those years ago. He grabbed his clothes threw them on and walked out the door, but not before he turned around and shot Tim the most evil go to hell look… “I can’t believe you’re doing this again…I should have known…” and Tyler slammed the door shut and left Tim alone in his hotel room….only this time….even thought Tim was getting cold and started to do the same thing he did to Tyler ten years ago….the moment the door slammed shut…the tears came falling and didn’t stop and Tim laid down and cried himself to sleep thinking… “fuck I lost him again…” Tim just sat there and didn’t know why once again he let Tyler run away and didn’t go after him. He obviously loves this man more than anything in the world yet once again his fears got the best of him and he let Tyler go….again… Tyler didn’t care if he was half dressed he needed to get away he needed to run as far as he could and get home. He knew it was a mistake going to the reunion, he knew he would see Tim again and somehow get his heart broken again. “Why am I so fucking stupid…why…??” Tyler said to himself while walking back to the bar to get his truck and head home. If I ever see that asshole again I don’t know what I’ll do. Tyler got home and got in the shower, his wife and kids were fast asleep by now so he was quiet to make sure he didn’t wake any of them. He cried in the shower and let it out he had to let Tim go…why was he holding onto the thought of him? He was happily married, well mostly happy, and he loved his life but he kept thinking about that damn asshole and what he done to him and why did he still feel drawn to him after all these years and everything that happened and now tonight once again. He finished his shower and vowed to never think of Tim again..this time for certain, he was over him and he can’t ever let him self feel these things again for him. Ever.
Back at the hotel…Tim got up off the bed and walked to the bathroom. He looked at himself and the mirror and hated the man he saw staring back at himself. “Once again you asshole you pushed away the only person you cared so much about and cared the same way about you away….what the fuck is wrong with you man? He will never agree to speak to you again.” He told himself. He walked and turned the shower on and showered himself off, dried off and walked to the bed and fell asleep once again tears falling from his face. Tim got up the next morning, packed his bag and went to the airport and caught his flight back to Dallas. “I guess that is that man…I don’t see any reason to ever go back home now…unless…nah…he will never talk to me again…better move on.”
—— Over The Years —-
Tim went back to Dallas and threw himself into his work even more so after the events of the reunion and devoted himself to his work. He finally got a bit of courage to date and he tried with both women and men, always nothing more serious than the occasional hookup, but it was progress he was starting to get more comfortable with acknowledging his feelings for men also but...in his heart he still loved Tyler and deep down was hoping after some time things would change but he also knew Tyler was married with kids and Tyler was a good guy and would never break up his family like that. So he pushed it back down and went on with his life not thinking about Tyler again until the day that he heard about Amy’s passing away in a car accident from his sister back home. His heart immediately sank and he felt bad for his “friend” he thought many times to call and to go home and see Tyler and see if he was ok and needed anything but he never did. It would be painfully awkward for him to show up like that. So he didn’t…
Tyler did the same. He pushed the events of the reunion out of his mind after giving his wife the PG rated non blowjob included version of events and how he just wanted to move on from it and live their lives. Tyler was promoted in the law firm and was one of the youngest lawyers to make partner in the company’s history. His kids were growing up and both were highly successful in all of their endeavors they tackled. Tyler and Amy were the happiest they had ever been and he figured nothing could bring him down. Then that fateful day happened, the day that made him hate Christmas time and turned his world upside down. And so began the tradition of every year on the anniversary of Amy’s death, Tyler found himself in the bar, a few glasses of whiskey deep in his sorrows, until that day when the gods intervened and brought him the most unexpected Christmas present of all, Tim walking back into his life, for the third time…
—- Current Day —-
Tyler’s POV
I was staring at Tim’s face still trying to figure him out. Tim had just said “oh my god” when I told him that he was one of the hardest things I ever had to get over besides my late wife’s passing. What the hell is thinking and why is he looking at me that way? I know I had tears running down my face by now and I didn’t care one bit. In the love department I have had my heart crushed twice in my almost 38 years and I was tired of it, no one should have to deal with this kind of pain of being in love with someone for what feels like forever and nothing happening or having to go through the horrible ordeal of having to bury your spouse so young. I finally found my words and had to ask once and for all… “So why did you come back to town? I thought you had moved to Dallas to work your dream job and live the high life?” I had heard a little about him and what had been going on from his sister from time to time running into her in town before she moved away. He wanted to catch up well now is his chance, I don’t know how much more of this I can take I needed to finally get everything out in the open and either we were going to heal and find some common ground or we were done once and for all. Tim was just looking at me with a look that I couldn’t quite place..”was he staring at me the way I did at him all those years ago??” Tim took a deep breath and I held mine waiting for him to answer. “I…moved back to town because I realized after all of these years while I did and still do enjoy my job in advertising and getting to come up with the next big catch phrase or ad, something has been missing in my life. And that I was too afraid to do anything about it until here recently.” He answered me and my eyes were glued to his every word. “Tyler..we are both almost 38 and in that time you’ve gotten married, had two amazing kids from what little you’ve told me and my sister has filled me in. You also lost your wife and have had to take care of both of them and yourself and all before you’ve even turned 40. You’ve lived a full life and honestly I’m a bit jealous.” He signed and kept going, I finally let out a breath that I didn’t realized that I was still holding. “I also…” He was visibly getting nervous now and I was starting to get a bit scared… “the main reason I came back to town after all of these years…is I wanted to see you..” I didn’t realize my mouth had hung open in shock… “he came back to see me? What is happening?” I was thinking. He continued on nervously but I could tell he wanted to get this all out in the open as well, and finally! I mean that’s what we agreed upon right…out in the open once and for all. “I understand now and I have actually always understood that I was a complete and utter jerk to you for cutting you off after you told me those things and when we had sex twenty years ago and the way I reacted after we went back to my hotel at the reunion. That I know was not something easy for you to tell me and I just cut you off like I hated you and truth is man, I’ve never ever hated you and this entire time I have missed you more than anything in the world..” His eyes now were starting to water and I knew he was serious. Tim had never been a big emotional cryer or person in general and I had only seen him like this when his grandparents had passed when we were in high school. I was sitting in shock and he didn’t stop there. “The reason I cut you off all those years ago was I was scared Tyler…I was scared because I loved what we did that day in my room and again at the reunion and I loved that the person I did it with was you…” I was shocked and couldn’t speak…is he…is he finally saying what I think he is saying… “Tyler…It’s been you man…it always has been. I was so scared and lost and didn’t know what I was doing and instead of coming to you and talking to you and figuring all of this out…I ran and pushed you away when that was the farthest thing from the truth that I wanted. I ruined our friendship and us over feelings that apparently we both were feeling and didn’t know what to do with them. You were brave and told me just by us doing what we did that day. I could tell you had been holding something back and I wasn’t sure what it was until that day. I’m so so very sorry that I did this to you, to us and I know I can’t get these last twenty years back but…” I was too shocked and I have no idea what the hell I was thinking, fuck it I wasn’t thinking rationally, the one other person in my life that I had ever felt these feelings for and missed so much had literally just professed his love to me and that was why he basically disappeared from my life, he was scared. Yes I should be pissed and I’m sure I will be later on but I was in such a state of shock that I even shocked myself with what I did next. I just leaned forward staring into those damn perfect emerald eyes and mashed my lips onto his so hard and fast, sparks flew in my head, I saw stars and my hands wrapped around his face and through his hair. His eyes were shocked but then he started to kiss me back and I was in heaven. We broke apart when we heard “ah excuse me…fellas…” oh shit the bartender was trying to get our attention. We broke apart and he was like “hey not that I’m hating on what is happening here, my boyfriend and I enjoy a good make up and make out session but there were some others staring at us and we stopped what we were doing. “Sorry” we both said laughing and we both reached for our pockets to pay for the drinks so we could get up from the bar and apparently the show we were giving. We got up and moved to a table in the corner.
Tim’s POV
“I can’t believe I just did that…it felt so good and freeing. Why hadn’t I done that years ago. Maybe just maybe we would be together all of these years and I wouldn’t have felt like a huge hole was in my life? Well I know why I was scared, scared of being rejected and what others thought of me and it took until my 30’s to realize that I shouldn’t care what others think of myself, just me. Now here we were sitting in the corner booth and Tyler had just kissed me after I finally said what I had come here to say to him. What happens now? I can’t just expect him to forgive me so easily, I tore his heart out and stomped on it, both of the last times we saw one another. And I can’t hurt him again…not after what I had done and not after he lost his late wife the way he did, no one should have to come home to find cops telling you that your spouse passed in a car accident and be left alone with two young kids. I can’t even begin to comprehend how strong of a man Tyler has become, but god help me I want to know now.” I looked over at him and he was just looking at my with this confused look on his face, that ever so slight goofy grin that he always did when we were younger when he was trying to figure out what I was going to say or do next but couldn’t put his finger on it yet. He finally spoke… “Tim…I honestly don’t know what to say right now…everything you said to me was everything that I have ever wanted to hear you say over these past twenty years. You hurt me so bad though and my god it took a lot to get over it and honestly I’m still not over it. Seeing you has been great and I’ve missed you so much over the years, but I don’t think I can just jump into whatever you think this may be…I have kids and I have so much pain and hurt from what you did and also Amy’s death that I know it’s been four years, it was actually four years yesterday when you saw me, and I….” Tyler started crying and not little tears, I mean full on tears and sobs, like the dam burst and he was finally letting years and years of pain and frustration out and I just had to let him get it all out. We agreed out in the open once and for all. While I was hoping to maybe see where this could go between the two of us after all these years…I did also understand that he would need time to process my confession and also he still hasn’t completely let Amy go and I see the pain in his eyes. “Hey…Tyler…I understand completely and I’m not tying to pressure you or say or do anything that you don’t want to do. I just knew I had to finally say something about how I’ve felt about you all these years and apologize once and for all for my being the biggest asshole alive. I would love nothing more than to be friends again and hey if something else comes about later on great…if not I want to spend the time making it up to you and being the friend that I should have been to you this entire time.” He smiled and wiped his tears away and scooted over to me and gave me the biggest hug and I hugged him back. “Hmmm I see you’re still wearing that same cologne from high school I see” he chuckled “yeah same goes to you too bud…I always loved that scent by the way.” We laughed and broke the hug. It felt nice, like a weight had been lifted off our shoulders. “While I know there is much more to process and unpack, but this felt like a nice start and hopefully we can move on and forward?” I asked him. He smiled and flashed his pearly white teeth and “yeah I would love that.” We chatted for a little while longer and kept the conversation less heavy. He filled me in on his job and his kids, he beamed with pride every time he mentioned their names, his eyes had that beautiful sapphire sparkle I remembered as a kid when he would talk about anything he was passionate about. I filled him in on my job and the fact that I can basically do it from anywhere and I loved what I did. While there was still that elephant in the room, our feelings for one another, it felt so nice to talk to him again and not just in passing, for the first time in twenty years I had my best friend back and I wan’t going to let him go again.
Third time had to be the charm I just knew it!!
