Under Dark Covers - Chapter XI.
The Cabin
The next day, I invited Charles for a coffee at this local coffee shop Philosophia to talk about what Aaron had told me and ask him why he choose not to confide in me. My head still was hurting from yesterday’s over-drinking. We met there in the afternoon of what was a particularly rainy day. I started telling him about the night I had spent with Aaron, reassuring him and learning about his experiments, hiding at first what happened before we went to sleep, and also hiding his disclosure about something almost happening between them.
« I’m just so confused as to why you kept that to yourself, I thought we pretty much shared everything… » I said to Charles.
« - I just felt like it wasn’t my place to say.
- How do you figure?
- Well, you know, I wasn’t exactly sure about him wanting you to know, it’s not exactly something we broadcast inside the group.
- I don’t understand man, you know nothing changed when you came out to us.
- Nothing changed?! » he exclaimed half-surprised, half-irritated before continuing « Maybe for you yeah, not for all of us.
- What do you mean? Did someone say something to you?
- It’s not exactly words, it’s… little things, you know. Logan talks to me less than he used to, he avoids being alone with me as if I wanted to jump in every time; you never really ask about my dates, the list goes on and on. You all say you are but we’re not exactly the most open-minded group, despite what you keep telling yourself. ».
I was stunned. The coffee cup in front of me had gone cold, and I found myself staring at the condensation on the side of the mug. It was a strange, half-formed feeling in my chest, a mix of frustration and disbelief. Charles’ words echoed in my mind, bouncing around in an uncomfortably persistent way.
I couldn’t help but replay his tone as though he couldn’t believe I didn’t know. The sudden shift in the conversation threw me off. Was I really that oblivious? I thought about the group. We all spent so much time together, or at least, it felt like we did. But the truth was, I didn’t always see the little changes in how we interacted. I hadn’t noticed that Logan had been keeping his distance from Charles. I hadn’t noticed that I hadn’t asked Charles about his dates. Why hadn’t I?
I frowned, trying to piece it all together. But there was something nagging at me now. Maybe Charles was right. I had always thought of our group as being pretty accepting. I had wanted to believe we were better than most. After all, we were open-minded, weren’t we? But hearing Charles say that made me feel… almost ashamed.
I rubbed my forehead, trying to push away the growing frustration. Maybe this was the kind of thing you just didn’t notice until someone pointed it out. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to notice.
I leaned back in my chair, running my thumb along the edge of the coffee cup. It was a sinking feeling in my chest, like I’d missed something important. I’d been so quick to reassure him that nothing had changed, but maybe I hadn’t actually looked. Maybe I hadn’t asked the right questions.
« I…I didn’t know, Charles, » I said quietly, breaking the silence that had stretched between us. « I didn’t realise things were like that… And I didn’t mean for them to be like that ».
Charles looked down at his own coffee, the frown lines still creasing his forehead. I couldn’t blame him for feeling a little bit alienated. « Yeah, well, » he said, his voice softer now. « I didn’t expect you to. No one really thinks about it until they have to. »
I stared at him for a long moment, my mind finally catching up. He wasn’t angry, or at least, not just angry. He was hurt. I had assumed we were better than this, better than other groups, but maybe we weren’t.
I leaned forward, my voice quieter now. « I’ll do better. I didn’t realise… »
Charles shrugged, his eyes avoiding mine. « I’m just saying, we like to think we’re so open-minded, but sometimes, it’s just easier to hide behind what we want to believe. » I nodded slowly, taking in his words.
I took a deep breath, stirring my coffee absentmindedly, before I began to speak again. I wasn’t sure how to frame it all.
« Well, so… yesterday with Aaron, » I started, looking up at Charles to gauge his reaction. « It was a little strange, honestly.
- Strange, how?
- He told me a lot of things, you know about experimenting and everything.
- Uh-huh.
- And uh… He also told me you guys almost crossed the border once. »
Charles looked away, a little tension was definitely building between us. After all he had just said to me, I wasn’t about to push him to telling me about that story, so I continued « …and if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s totally alright man. But I want you to know that, despite what you just said, I really don’t care about what you do with your life. »
He looked at me, raised an eyebrow obviously troubled by my clumsy way of saying what I just did. « OK, that came out wrong » I chuckled before ending my sentence « I meant, whatever you do is cool with me. You’re my best friend and nothing’s gonna change that. Hey, if anything, just see as if I was asking about one of your dates », I said smiling in a playful way.
« You’re such a jerk, » he said with a little grin on his face « but yeah, thanks… ».
I couldn’t help but notice he still wasn’t sure he could confide in me. To help ease up the tension I decided to tell him about the rest of the night with Aaron, down to the last detail, even the part where I thought I felt him when he was hugging me in my bed. He listened silently, carefully until I was done with the story, not the least surprised by it, after all except for that last part, it wasn’t really anything new for him to hear.
He paused for a moment, chuckled and resumed the conversation:
« Well that.. definitely sounds like Aaron.
- What do you mean by that?
- Well, when he told you something almost happened between us…
- Yeah?
- Remember Brody’s birthday last year?
- Sure, when we were at the cabin by the lake?
- Exactly, well that’s when it almost happened.
- WHAT? When? I mean, we were all there, how could we have not noticed that? »
Brody’s family owned a beautiful cabin down by a lake not too far from where we lived. It was a truly magic place, almost in the middle of nowhere, where we would go sometimes to enjoy lake activities, party hard, with loud music where no neighbours could hear us. I had a lot of amazing memories of that place. The cabin was big but it only had a couple of bedrooms, so we always found it better to put all the mattresses in the living room and all sleep together rather than being separated in different rooms.
The night Charles was talking about was memorable, it was a warm summer evening, the sky was filled with stars, and we danced the night off like never before. All of the boys from the group were there, along with half a dozen girls; girlfriends or simply friends from us. It was such an amazing party, and since the girls were there, although we were never shy when we were only between dudes, we controlled ourselves very much, keeping our clothes on and enjoying the lake in bathing shorts.
« - Well, it was the middle of the night, with all the dancing, the drinking and everything, we all got really hot and sweaty.
- Yeah, I remember that, we all jumped in the lake early into the morning, right?
- Exactly, might not have been the best idea given how drunk we were though.
- Right, but you know how it is.
- Yeah.. So anyway, we were all in the lake, splashing each other and all. Then you guys all went out, but Aaron and I got to talking and stood back a little, discussing the deep meaning of life like two drunks.
- Yeah, I think I remember that, I even told you guys to come out to play poker or something
- Exactly yeah, and we did, a few minutes after that. But just before, we wrapped up the conversation. As I was getting out of the water, drunk-Aaron jumped me from behind, making me fall in the lake. I got out of the water, splashed him, so did he, and it went on for a moment, until we were completely out of breath. ».
I couldn't help but notice the way he grinned when he said that last part. There was something almost affectionate about the way he spoke of it, like he was cherishing the moment in a way I wasn’t entirely sure was just about drunken antics.
« So we were there catching our breath, standing there facing each other in our bathing shorts, looking ourselves in the eyes and, out of the blue, Aaron kisses me. Like, vigorously, putting one hand at the back of my head. After a few seconds I pushed him back, asked him what he was doing. Dude tells me he doesn’t know, just wants to appreciate the moment, then leans in again even more vigorously.
- Man, so what did you do?
- I let him, for a moment.. Then I suddenly feel his other hands going down my chest, and you know, heading for my waistband and into my shorts.
- Oh wow, dude don’t lose any time, does he?
- My thoughts exactly. But there I was, into the lake kissing one of my closest friends, while he started to… well you know. »
I was even more stunned than I was before, A-Bomb Aaron definitely also deserved his nickname. Admittedly, I was a little embarrassed. I was slowly discovering that what Charles had said earlier was true, I felt a little awkward about him telling me all this, awkward about hearing about intimacy between two guys; two of my best friends moreover. But I wanted to respect Charles’ way of telling the story and telling me something he obviously had been refraining to tell me for months now. So I played along…
« - And were you… like, hard?
- Oh yeah » he said, chuckling.
« - Sorry I asked, but Aaron isn’t exactly your type, from what I know.
- He isn’t, but come on, have you seen the guy? He’s practically a poster boy for an Olympian. Just because you’re into blonds doesn't mean you wouldn’t sleep with Monica Cruz, right? Or whoever you think is sexy, you know ».
His comparison made me laugh a lot, as stupid as it was, he was on point. About general physical preferences, and about Aaron; the guy was incredibly hot - no homo. At that point, I thought about what it would have been like, that night, to feel Aaron’s hand going down and coming down my trunks, holding me and slowly going back and forth on me, trying to pleasure me as if it were my own hand, but my mind rapidly came back to the conversation, as if my mind stopped me, not allowing me to think about it.
« - Idiot, » I said, chuckling; « so what happened next?
- I caught his hand to stop him.
- Wait, why?
- Same exact reason I gave him: I don’t like him like that
- Shit, man. Gotta hand it to you, that couldn’t have been easy for you.
- Yeah, no, it wasn’t. But it was the wiser choice.
- How did he react?
- Like Aaron. Very kind, very well-educated. He apologised and asked to never talk about it again.
- And that was the end of it?
- Yeah, we both got out of the water and joined you guys inside the cabin. »
My mind wandered back to the thought of Aaron in my bed, laying next to me. Was he expecting something more? I kept having these flashes, violent flashes inside my head, like wild alternate realties trying to come forth; realties where the night had gone differently, realities where I pushed Aaron down on his knees facing me in that shower, realities where I would hold his face in my hand like I dreamt about with Peter and that wild Concrete dream, realities where I would turn around while he was hugging me and where my hand would go up his thigh. I suddenly felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I shook my head as to bring me back to the café, still facing Charles and the weight of the story he had just told me.
—New text from « Logan Legend »
Logan: Sorry I fucked up
Logan: I was a mess after the game
Logan: U guys still mad?
Logan: Can we talk?
Logan: Walking to ur place right now
Back to reality, I wrapped up the conversation and told Charles I had to go deal with some Logan shit. I paid for our drinks and told him I would text him later. The flashes disappeared, but I couldn’t help but think something was going on with me. I kept reasoning myself, accusing the hangover I was still undergoing. What were those flashes? What did they mean? Were they triggered by Charles’ story?
This story is part of a series exploring the outrageous adventures of a tight-knit group of friends. It delves into the chaotic mix of bromance, experimentation, and discovering new boundaries of friendship and pleasure. While purely fictional, some moments may be loosely inspired by the author’s personal experiences. Feedback is always welcome!
Thank you for reading.
