Post Christmas Fuck
My eyes opened and Mark was still wrapped around me, asleep. The bedroom was cozy and warm. But at the same time my mind was flipping over and over itself. What had been happening? I mean, I knew what happened. I had just had the best fucking sex of my life with...Mark. Twice. The thought just hung in my head like some weird cloud formation. And here we were in this nice bed, all cozy. His arm was thrown over me, his nose tucked into my armpit. This was a fuckin' new world.
I had to move. I untangled myself from him and found my track pants and went down to the kitchen to look for...a distraction. Or something. It was one of those times where two thoughts were duking it out in my head and neither one was going to win. One was: this was Mark, my roommate, my bud, we like to hang, we like to get really stoned, we jerk off sometimes. The other. Well fuck. The other was, this was Mark. The guy I fucked – wanted to fuck. Twice. The guy whose cock had been in my mouth. I tasted and loved his cum. We kissed and kissed and fucking kissed and I wanted more. So bloody much more. And he said he love me. Now that's a thing to be taken seriously. But I gotta say, it was the best moment of my life when he said it. Right?
I shook my head and made coffee. It's the only thing to do at time like this. Once it was done, I brought a mug out to the living room and sat on the sofa, the same sofa where so much had bloody happened, I mean really. What the fuck?
Watching dust floating through the light and the soft creaking of the old furniture stretching their limbs in the warmth, I felt the flock of noisy birds in my stomach calm the fuck down. I sipped and breathed. It was cool. It was all cool. It was so cool in fact I started to remember how hot it had been and that got me so my track pants were all full of cock again. Oh well.
Mark came down wearing nothing but the really nice briefs I bought him. I mean really nice and mostly because he was in them. Wow. I wanted to fuck him all over again. And his hair all over the place. I got up and we went into the kitchen where I poured him a coffee, put the right amount of sugar in it because, I realized, I liked that I knew already how he like his joe.
We sat at the kitchen table not saying very much. I tentatively – like a eighteen year old on his first date at the movies – put my foot over his, giving him a little stroke, and he reached across the table, and in that way-too-sweet Mark kind of way, took my hand. Just that. My stupid hand. And it felt amazing.
We went for a walk in the snow which was glittering around us like a million diamonds. It was all very Dr Seuss and I felt like a kid, all excited and wanting to make snowmen. I felt both silly and happy at the same time.
Mark was quiet and as we came to a stand of trees, weighed down with big clumps of snow, he turned to me, his face intent, his eyes bright. “Hey, Sam....you know...I'm kind of scared this morning. I mean...you're the first guy I've...” and he stopped. He looked to one side, then the other as if he would find the answer in the trees. “...the first guy I've fallen in love with who feels something similar?”
The question mark at the end of the sentence said it all. I felt like I was on some genius-level game show and I had to answer to win the big prize. I swallowed hard, feeling stupid. But I knew one thing I could say for sure. “Mark...I have all kinds of amazing feelings for you, but I don't know what the hell they are quite yet. But don't worry about it. I am right here, right the fuck here with you.”
He looked at the ground and I could tell he was smiling. I imagined the snow was melting where he was looking. I took a step toward him and put my arms around him in his bulky winter jacket. I knew I wanted this. To feel Mark. That much I also knew.
We stood there for a while just holding on. That was enough for the moment.
When we got back to the house we made some lunch and I brought the fire back to life and we listened to some nice music and hung on the sofa all entwined in each other. I could tell I was getting hot for him but I felt we were not quite there yet. I couldn't tell you what I was waiting for but I kept my cock slightly apart from everything.
Then he sat up and put my head in his lap and he started talking. I knew I had to shut up. “Sam I...fuck. You know, I guess I'm afraid that this is going to hurt. Like, you're the first guy that I've had something with, something real. And some stupid things people say keep coming into my head. Like the first time you fall for someone it will never last. Crap like that.”
I knew what he was talking about. It wasn't the first time for me. But in a way it was, it totally was. Mandy and a couple of girls in hight school. They were real and all. But this felt like being on an another planet. But I knew this was a first for him and that scared me. True enough. I couldn't find anything to say, but I started talking. “Yeah. I get it. But we've got to start somewhere, right? It's a logical truth: in order to start we've got to start. How it turns out is another matter.” I felt like one of my logic professors and that scared me even more. I took his hand and put it on my chest. It felt nice.
He looked down at me and we stared for a while. We were so good at that. He was the first person I had ever been with who could do that with me. Mandy was crap at it, now that I thought of it.
Finally he said, “I guess...I mean, I guess we have no choice. Logically speaking. And I'm going to feel this way about you no matter what I do, so there's no choice there either.”
Somewhere in the drift of what he was saying, I started to catch a hint of something. I closed my eyes and tried to find it. I opened them. “You're afraid I'm going to change my mind and you're trying to leave a crappy little door open, aren't you?”
The boy looked startled, but he nodded. I put both my hands on the hand he had on my chest. “Mark. The more we talk, the less likely it is that will happen. In fact, I don't fuckin' change my mind very often. I'm here, pal. I put my cock in various parts of your body and yours in my mouth and I'm still here. That is not the issue.”
He raised his eyebrows and I could tell he was pleased. “So...”
“So, there's no issue. But up until this week it hadn't occurred to me – at least not in a way I could have put into words – that I was into you. I mean really into you. I really liked you, you were my bro, we were buds, all that shit. But what has kinda hit me in the head with a hammer is how much I deceived myself until now and I don't fuckin' get it. I don't do that shit. That't the thing I'm poking with a big stick.
Mark's face cleared and I could tell he got it. He cocked his head and his gaze got a little more intense. If that was possible. “Maybe you were scared. I mean, I was scared. It took your brother to convince me to try something.”
“Well, and we have to send him a dozen fucking roses every Christmas, now.” I pulled his hand to my mouth and licked it.
Then he pulled his hand away from my mouth and it slid into my shirt and he was running it through the fuzz on my chest. That was really nice. He said, “Owen is a good guy.” Then he cleared his throat, like he was about to make another announcement. What now? Hadn't we covered all the food groups? “Let's have a bath. I saw that big-assed bathtub. Let's use it.”
Now he was talking. I hopped off the sofa and grabbed his hand. “You, Mark, are a genius.”
We filled the tub and threw some nice smelling stuff in that was lying around and we shucked our clothes everywhere. I was getting used to being in the buff with him and that felt awesome. The tub – more of a small pool, really, at least that's what my dad says – was really full and full of bubbles and steaming. Mark practically dove in, and I slid in cause it was fucking hot.
We sat one at each end and our legs were intertwined in nice ways. I rubbed my hands on his legs, feeling those strong thighs, the muscular calves. Stroking a guy is so much different. It's familiar but for some reason felt like a constant surprise. Woman's legs are great, don't get me wrong, but Mark's...they were in a league of their own.
We lay in the tub, surrounded by steam and good smells for a while and I think we dozed. Then I felt his hand on my thigh, then he slowly rubbed his way to my cock which was – you guessed it – totally rigid. He gave it a good stroke and then cupped my nuts in his hand. I heard his voice say, “Can I go further...?”
I knew what he meant and this was the moment that a part of me knew was coming. I had fantasized about it. Oh yeah, I had. But the reality? I wasn't sure. But we two were on Planet Claire (just listen to the damn song: B52's at their best) and there was no reason not to go on the trip. I said, “Yeah. Go for it.”
He massaged his fingers past my balls, along that lovely little space that led to my ass. All the fuckin' words for it sucked and I know I've said it before. Even the euphemisms suck. Can someone come up with a word that doesn't sound gross, clinical, adolescent, or lifted from a really bad porn? Anyway, my stupid digression is about being kinda scared to go there with Mark.
He slid forward in the tub and put his other hand on my dick which, thankfully, was still looking for attention. Then I felt his soft finger making little circles around my hole. Let's call it that for now. Little circles that got smaller and a little more firm. He slowly jacked my cock while his finger was busy and then that little finger pressed and I yelped.
“Sorry!”
“No, Mark. It's cool. I wasn't expecting it.” I reached for his hand and put it back where it was and I pushed a little so his finger slid inside me. I closed my eyes and breathed. As I exhaled, I felt his mouth on mine and our lips got to know each other again. Then I felt him slide out and then he added another finger. I knew the drill and it felt amazing. I could feel various parts of my ass having conversations with my head and the conclusion they came to was: we want this guy, this Mark, to slide his cock right in. I said, “Mark. Let's go to the bedroom and you can fuck me to next week.”
That little grin like an adorable spirit of disorder. “Right. Enough with the bath. Let's get into bed”
He hauled himself out the water and I just had to stop him because his dick was so hard and so suckable and so I sucked, and licked and tasted and all the things for a little while. I was also delaying again, but you knew that, right?
Mark thought so, too. “Let's go...”
He hauled me out of the tub, gave me a really wet, sloppy kiss, and pulled me out of the bathroom, down the hall to our bedroom. Holy fuck, I have to get used to saying that.
He got to the door and almost kicked it down. Queen sized bed, check. Lube, no. “We need some...”
“I'm just going to get it.”
I lay down on the bed which felt a cold. He came back in with the little bottle. He smiled at me and I could tell that Mr Take Charge had left the building. I said, “Hey, Mark. Just chill. This will be fun. And we don't have to worry about condoms, right?”
“Nope. I think by now we know the score.”
I watched as he collected himself, then he got on the bed and spread my legs gently. He poured some lube on his hand and started with the circles again. I took the bottle and slicked up my cock, getting back to where I was before. This time his finger slid in with no problem. He massaged and stroked and explored and it was strange. Really strange, at first. What was going on down there?
He put a second finger in and did the same thing and it still felt strange but really slowly, almost without me noticing it, it started to feel strange and good at the same time. I kept sliding my hand slowly on my cock and every once in a while, Mark would lick the end, or sucked the head for a second which was like burst of fucking fireworks.
Three fingers. It was getting intense. But with three he could really start to stretch things. And with three he found that spot that I already knew was there because I had checked it out for myself a few time with my own damned fingers. But someone else's? Totally different.
He worked those fingers in and I could feel various muscles relax and there was more space than I thought there could be. Four fingers. Now we were talking. That was putting me right on the edge of too much. But Mark leaned down and took my whole cock in his mouth and while he slid in, he sucked down, licking the head, and running his tongue down the shaft as his head moved. I could feel a double flash in my balls from two sets of very nice things.
The four fingers really started to push and circulate and I began to get hot, at last. I took over stroking myself, my cock all slippery with spit and lube. Then the man of a million surprises pulled a good one and one I hadn't seen coming. He slid his hand out of me and leaned down and just mashed his mouth in me, his tongue digging its way right into me. It felt...I don't know. It was like nothing I had ever felt and I fuckin' loved it. I jacked even faster and threw my head back. “Holy fucking shit, what are you doing...don't stop.” I think that's what I said, anyway.
He munched away at my hole and then sat up, his face wet and his eyes wicked. “Can I fuck you now?”
I laughed and laughed some more. “I'm as ready as I'll ever be and that last little trick or yours...well it worked some magic.”
“You want me on top?”
Without a thought I said, “Yes. I want to see your eyes.”
He nodded and poured lube on his dick which was really hard. I felt a little scared, but most of me felt almost stoned on sensation. I spread my legs out to the side like some whacked-out yoga pose, and he hauled me toward him by grabbing my thighs. I felt the head of his cock tucked into my ass, just resting, but he added some pressure and a bit of gyration of those lithe hips of his, and his cock began to slide in very slowly. I felt for a second that there was no way that thing was getting inside me, but with a tiny jolt, it passed some sort of checkpoint and he was inside.
Those words echoed in my head. He was inside me. Him. Mark. Now that was a trip. Leaning forward, he applied weight and kept sliding and I kept opening and it was all good. He slid slowly until I felt his body touch mine, like some spacecraft just docked in my asshole. It wasn't like his fingers. It felt more and more intense. It felt more real.
He looked down at me and he was smiling. His smile seemed to be like an emergency flare in this construction site. His lips met mine when he lowered his head and he slid his hips back a little, then slowly pivoted them forward. And again. And again. Slow and careful. I felt every bit of his cock move, it moved and my whole body felt every cell of his cock. I wrapped my arms around his torso and began, before I knew what was happening, to fuck him back. Each time he moved forward I moved toward him and then the reverse.
It just happened. Some other brain in my body seemed to know what would feel really good. Really fucking good. He pulled his face up and gave me a wide-eyed look and at the same time, he put some more force and speed into what his hips were doing and I tried to do the same, bracing my feet on the bed. It had never occurred to me that being fucked could also be fucking together. There was no passive and active, top and bottom or any of that boring stuff. That was crap. Where did guys come up with this stuff.
This was a co-operative venture. Mark put some more juice into it and his body and mine found steady and steadily increasing rhythm and his cock introduced me to feelings I didn't know were possible, and I felt his balls whack my ass each time he bottomed the fuck out in me, each time he thrust a little harder and bottomed the bloody hell out and I couldn't quite believe what was going on. Just when I thought I was going to go over the top, it got more intense and his kisses seemed almost aggressive and I gave it right back to him, and I bit his lip, tasting blood and he growled at me, and we actually seemed like we became different people. He fucked and fucked and his hips were slapping my thighs, and my whole body jerked every time he thrust.
My insides were beyond sensation, they were becoming molten pleasure and I had to grab my dick because I thought I was going to go into space and I went anyway because the second I touched myself it was like matter and antimatter and I just exploded, cum bursting out and going in a long arc that ended on my forehead and my cheeks, and in my hair and I hadn't cum like that ever. The blast kept coming and Mark awkwardly leaned down and slurped up as much as he could from my face, but he groaned and leaned back, still pounding in me. There was a blob of my cum on his lip and he licked it off and as he did, I saw that he pushed himself over the edge and his face contorted and he found a last burst of energy, taking him across the finish line with a few mad, messy fucks into me.
I could feel him tremble and he choked. I could feel his cock vibrating and I imaged the Mark-quantities of cum going right into me, into my body and my fuckin' life. How had I prevented this from happening all this time? How the fuck?
I pulled his face down which was sweaty and I still felt kind of manic. I took a breath, then another and his breath seemed to be matching mine. I looked into his eyes again. “Ok,” I gasped. “Whatever it is I feel about you, It sure as hell got a lot stronger after that.”
His face, like some crazy sun coming out from behind some very intense clouds, broke and he gave me a smile that might be seen from space. “Remember the first day we met and you grabbed my backpack when I was coming up the stairs?”
Of course I did, and I said, leaning my head against his, “Yeah, you looked like you had the weight of the world on you.”
He just looked at me. “That's when I fell for you.”
That was a nice thought. I mean a really nice one. Because I remember that moment, too. And it was like a few more pieces of this puzzle suddenly fit into the amazing mural I was building. I pulled his face in for some more. I wanted more and more and more.
