Elliot’s Perspective
It was only March, but so far this had been the best year of my life! I was pretty much a loner up until now, but not by choice. I’d known I was gay like forever! I just never considered girls as anything more than pretty friends and it was the boys that really got my attention. I came out to my parents my senior year of high school and it went… well, it went. They weren’t anything with it. Not upset, not proud, they were indifferent at best, but that’s just them. They are very stable, solid people (my dad’s an accountant and my mom’s a court reporter. Both steady, low-risk careers), anything that upsets the applecart is just kind of smiled at and ignored… like me coming out. They had no clue how to react to my “news”. Then I went through a bout of depression and even thought about taking my own life (I didn’t tell my parents that part). My parents didn’t know what to do for me, so they sent me to see Dr. Aarons for therapy. I understood, they were out of their comfort zone and did what they always do when they’re in over their heads; called the professional. That was a good call. Dr. Aarons guided me through my depression and helped me accept myself.
College was supposed to be my time to let loose and find my gay-self, but at the end of my third semester I was still the same old Elliot. I still lived at home, still had no real friends, and still hadn’t come out to anyone other than my parents… well them and Dr. Aarons. There was this guy Seth who was in a bunch of my classes since my first semester who I suspected was gay. He always hung out with this hot blonde soccer jock and cute redhead. This semester he was in almost all my classes so I got bold and asked him to be my study buddy… you have no idea what a huge move that was for me. He accepted my offer and we started studying together and hanging out between classes. Then one day when I went to my therapy appointment… he was there! Working behind the desk, it flipping freaked me out. Suddenly my safe place didn’t feel so safe. I talked to Dr. Aarons about it during my session that day and he assured me that Seth was a professional who respected doctor/patient confidentiality, and that I had nothing to worry about. Long story short, Seth ended up giving me a ride home that night and we talked about my concern. He was such a down to earth guy and reassured me that my secret was safe with him and made me feel a hell of a lot better about everything. After that we seemed to cross the line from study buddies to friends. He invited me over to his place for movie night and introduced me to his friends. They were the nicest guys, all of them, and they welcomed me without hesitation, I felt like I belonged the second I met them (Oh and a side note: they were all hot as hell). For the first time in my life, I had friends who knew what I was and accepted me anyway, flaws and all. I felt so comfortable with them that I told them about seeing Dr. Aarons. Their reaction shocked me; they didn’t care. Not only that, but two of them admitted that they were getting help too, and we talked about it like it was just a normal thing. Being gay was normal to them, therapy was normal to them; I was normal to them.
Seth and his friends shared a duplex on the East Side, I started spending all my time there. Like I said, they were all hot and I admit that I had crushed on all of them at one point or another. But the one that really caught my attention was Cam. He was Seth’s best friend from high school and hot AF! He was a little beefier than the others, not fat, just kind of stocky. He was somewhere between twunk and cub I guess, and he had this boyish charm to him. I think what I liked most about him was that he held nothing back. If it was on Cam’s mind, he just said it. There was something so genuine and trustworthy about the guy that attracted me to him. All Seth’s friends were coupled off, but Cam and Eric had just broken up before we met, so he was free. The first time I met them all, Eric was flirting with me… I was flattered, but not really into him.
Well, Spring Break was a couple months later and everyone was breaking off and doing their own thing. Seth and Zach were heading to Arizona to see Seth’s family, Max and Brody were going to North Carolina to work on Brody’s house, and me, Eric, and Cam decided to take a road trip. We decided on Myrtle Beach because it was close enough to drive to. We also decided to stop on the way for a couple of days to help Brody fix up his place. It was my fist vacation without my parents and I was excited, but I felt like kind of a third wheel. I was relieved when Eric backed out at last minute; it was going to be just me and Cam. When I found out it was just us my whole mindset changed. I was so freaking ready to lose my virginity, and Cam was the perfect man for the job. I had been thinking about losing my virginity forever and the most important thing was that I lose it to someone I trust. I wasn’t worried about love, or a relationship or any of that… I mean it would be nice and all but shit it could take decades for me to meet someone and fall in love and I was ready NOW! I went over it in my head again and again trying to figure out how I could talk to him about it. We had a crapload of time alone in the car, I’m sure it would come up.
The road trip with Cam was fun, we were singing and laughing and I felt comfortable with him. We talked about sex, I told HIM I was a virgin, and he laid out his sexual history for ME… shit, I knew he was with Eric but I had no clue that they were in a throuple relationship with Max, or that Seth was his first boyfriend. I got quiet for a while after he shared his past with me because I started to think that there was no way in hell he’d be interested in an inexperienced virgin like me. A little later, the subject turned deep and we started talking about things I never talked about with anyone besides Dr. Aarons. We shared our deepest secrets; it turns out that I wasn’t the only one who had thought about ending it. When he admitted to that all I could think was ‘what a waste of an amazing human being. I’m so happy he didn’t do it’… we were more alike than I had ever imagined. Cam felt like a kindred spirit.
We had been driving all day and were getting closer to Brody’s when we decided to take a quick nap. we reclined the seats of the Fiat and Cam fell asleep instantly but I just laid there and stared at him. I watched his beautiful cherub face as he slept and my thoughts progressed from ‘I want him’ to ‘I want him bad’ to ‘I gotta have him’ to ‘I’m gonna make this happen.’ Then, when his eyes opened, I made one of the boldest moves of my life. I kissed him! I wish you could see my face while I’m telling you this story, you’d see a smile of pride radiating from me. For once in my life, I saw what I wanted and I went for it. Dr. Aarons would’ve been proud of me. Cam kissed me back, we didn’t kiss hard or for very long.
“What was that for?” He asked him with a shy smile.
“Just because” is all I said, then we both put our seats upright and got back on the road towards Brody’s in silence. I finally broke the silence and asked, “Are you mad that I kissed you?” Afraid that I had crossed a line.
“Not mad, just… I don’t know, surprised, I guess.” he responded.
“You know” I responded quietly as I watched him drive us further south. “Um… that was my very first kiss” I told him. Then I admitted I was a virgin and he was shocked. Then, in not so many words I told him I wanted to lose my virginity to him. He could not have had a better reaction. He said “Elliot, being your first is a big deal” then went on to tell me that he didn’t want a boyfriend, etc. What he was really telling me was that he cared about me and didn’t want to hurt me. He took being my first seriously, I wasn’t just another fuck to him. That just made me want the guy more. We got to Brody’s and stayed there for a couple of nights, we ended up sleeping in the same bed but nothing happened, he just held me and I LOVED waking up in his arms.
Our first night alone in Myrtle Beach was great. We had a nice dinner, a sweet walk on the beach, we even met some other gay guys and hung out with them for a while. When we got back to the hotel at the end of the night, we got on the elevator and were heading up to our room, I made my move. I pushed him up against the wall and started making out with him, he resisted at first but then pushed me up against the doors and kissed me back. It was hard, wet, and amazing. The elevator doors open and we toppled on the floor with him on top of me. We were laughing uncontrollably, then got up and ran to our room. That night I lost my virginity to Cam (Well, my top virginity I guess). He was so caring and gentle and let me call the shots. He made sure I was comfortable every step of the way. It was perfect. We had three more nights before we had to drive back home and I wanted more.
Over the next two nights we tried so much more; frotting, oral, ass play, Cam was so caring and sensual. I wanted him in me so badly and told him so.
“Listen, my cock may not be long, but it’s thick and I’ve been told more than once that it’s a lot to take. I don’t want your first time to be painful” Cam said when I finally just growled at him to fuck me on our third night there. “We have to work our way up to it. Have you ever been to a sex shop?” he asked.
My eyes lit up, I had always wanted to go into one, but Milwaukee wasn’t that big of a city and I was always scared shitless someone would see me go in or see my car there so I never went. “No, but I’ve always wanted to.”
Cam found a place online and we went the next day. Cam bought some lube, a pack of different sized butt plugs, and a bottle of poppers. “These will help open you up and make your first time better, plus they’ll be fun as fuck” Cam whispered to me as we checked out. He also bought me an enema.
When we got back to the hotel, he instructed me on how to use the enema and I went into the bathroom to clean myself out, afterwards we showered together. We dried off and got into bed. Cam had dimmed the lights and put on some music to set the mood. He instructed me to lay on my back, then he got next to me and we kissed and explored each other’s naked bodies. It was amazing! He was moving so slowly and was so sensual as his hands and lips roamed over me in discovery. I kept getting excited and trying to push him and move things faster, but Cam was in charge and had a plan. After about a half hour of just touches and kisses he laid between my legs and pushed my knees to my chest. Then I felt the most amazing thing EVER! His tongue on my tight, virgin hole. Oh. My. Fucking. God! It was the most amazing sensation ever. He just flicked his tongue at first and my clean hole opened for him, then he shoved his tongue in and probed me, almost like he was fucking me with his tongue. I whimpered like a kicked puppy as he gave me my first rimming. I held my legs with one hand and pushed his head deep into my ass trench with the other… he slapped it away, came up for air and said “just let me do this. I swear you’ll love it” then went back to work. I fought the urge to force his entire head up my ass and instead just laid there writhing, thrashing, whimpering, and thanking the universe for that moment.
He ate me out until his tongue and jaw were sore. Then he pulled out the lube and gently applied some to my hole with his finger, circling the outer rim gently. He grabbed the bottle of poppers off the nightstand, he turned the cap and it made a little hiss. He held it under y nostril and told me to inhale, then held it under my other nostril. A feeling of euphoria came over me as the poppers took effect and Cam inserted a slick finger into my hole. Other than the enema nozzle earlier, nothing had EVER been up there and it felt incredible. He had relaxed my hole so much that it didn’t resist. After several minutes, he inserted a second finger and he worked the two of them around inside me, opening me up. He had set the three different rubber plugs on a towel on the nightstand and reached for the smallest. He lubed it up, lined it up to my hole and looked caringly into my eyes asking, “are you ready?” I nodded “Push out like you’re taking a crap” he said making me giggle and throw him a look of disgust as he smiled down on me and snickered.
I did as he instructed and he pushed the rubber tool forward steadily until it was all the way in “That’s it” Cam said as he leaned in for a tender kiss and tapped the base of the plug making me moan. He was so gentle and seemed to understand my body so well. He had brought a bottle of whiskey from home and got up to pour us each a shot as I lie there on my back with my knees pulled to my chest getting used to the butt plug. He came back and we clicked the shot glasses and downed the whiskey. It was rough going down, but my insides warmed up and it made the sensation of the plug even more intense.
Cam removed the plug and set it back on the towel, then grabbed the middle size plug, lubed it up and again gently inserted it. I pushed out and winced a bit, but it went in much easier than the first and any pain quickly turned into pleasure. Cam instructed me to push it out, then he pushed it back in. We did that several times and my hole seemed to accept the plug more readily each time. Cam repeated the procedure with the large plug. There was more pain, then more pleasure. Cam must’ve worked on my hole for well over and hour, then came the big moment.
Cam lubed up his big beer can size cock with my tight, well lubed hole. He was above me sitting on his knees and bracing himself with his arms on either side of me. He looked into my eyes and said in a deep, caring yet lustful voice “Are you sure you want me to be your first?” That was a stupid question. OF COURSE! But Cam made this all about me, he took four freaking nights to ease me into this so it would be a good experience… who the hell else in the universe would have done that? Any other guy would’ve just shoved it in, fucked me, then bragged to his friends that he bagged a virgin. But Cam, Cam cared about me. He worked hard to make this the best possible experience for me… and he succeeded.
I took another hit of poppers, nodded, and said, “absolutely. Thank you for being so gentle, it’s amazing.” Cam’s smile beamed down on me as he pushed his thick cock forward into me watching my face for reactions. I winced and he stopped.
“Are you okay, El?” He asked with a concerned tone. I nodded and he pushed forward until his mushroom head entered with a plop.
“FUCK!” I cried in pain as his wide, girthy member became the first to ever enter my hole. His eyes opened wide and he started to pull back but I grabbed his ass cheeks and held him there. My hole burned and felt like it was being ripped apart. Even with the poppers and all the prep Cam had done, his cock still stretched the hell out of me. I breathed heavily and said, “Just hold it there, I’ll be okay.” I could see the worry in Cam’s eyes, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me, but it was all part of the process of losing my virginity. I assured him I was fine and I just needed to adjust to the new, long awaited invasion. After a few minutes of breathing, I asked him to move forward. He pushed in slowly as I exhaled, our eyes still locked. Oh my god, it was amazing. It hurt like holy hell but felt euphoric at the same time. That mixture of pain and pleasure was something completely new to me and I reveled in it. Cam was wide, but not very long, he bottomed out quickly and his thick pubic bush tickled my ass. He stayed in me like that for a while and we kissed… no, that’s not the right word… we made out with this tender but dirty urgency. I guess you could call it heated passion. It was so rough and gentle, loud and quiet, hot and cold, painful and pleasureful, it was indescribable and absol-fucking-lutely worth the twenty-year wait.
When I was ready, I asked cam to fuck me. He slowly pulled out until just his giant head was inside me, then slowly pushed back. Each stroke deliberate and gentle. I begged him to go faster and he gradually picked up the pace. He fucked me like that for the longest time and I shot my load without touching myself (I had no idea that was even possible). I begged him to keep going.
His strokes got faster and harder and soon he was warning me that he was about to cum. He pulled out and shot all over my abs and chest adding his cum to mine. He puffed and heaved as the sweat fell off his manly body and mixed with our cum. He put his drained cock back inside me and just held it there letting me feel it go from steel to flaccid. He eventually pulled out and rolled off me. I rolled on my side and looked at him. He rolled on his side and looked back at me and touched my face. He had a tentative look on his sweet face as he asked, “any regrets?”
I laughed “Hell no!” then I kissed him “It was a million times better than anything I ever pictured in my head. Thank you.” I looked at the clock on the nightstand, “holy shit, we’ve been at this for over three hours!” Cam just laughed at my revelation. We got up, showered together, and went to bed naked with his strong arms around me. I Realized as I laid next to him that honoring his wish of not falling for him after sex would take some effort on my part. Hs was a perfect fit for me.
Our trip to Myrtle Beach was not the gay coming out party I had originally imagined it would be, it was something better and more important. The ride home was quieter than the ride there but pleasant. We talked and sang like we had on the way there, just not as loudly, there was more of a comfort level between us now. It had been quiet for several miles when Cam broke the silence “Um, do you think you would… um want to go out to dinner with me next weekend. Like just the two of us?”
I smiled inside but kept my composure outside and decided to bust his balls a bit “Like a date? That sounds kind of, I don’t know… Boyfriendy?”
Cam blushed “c’mon ya’ little shit, don’t make me beg for it. I really like you, El.”
No words ever made me happier “Fine, I guess I can slum it for a night and date you” I responded, breaking the tension, and making Cam laugh. Then I kissed his cheek. “So, are you changing your no boyfriend policy, or is this just a fling?”
Cam snickered “Let’s just say I’m considering a policy change.”
‘YES!’ I thought to myself, ‘He’s into me.’ Damn, I was excited. I had always had a little crush on him but this trip solidified my desire. He was such a good, caring guy. I trusted him and I totally had a shot.
Eric’s Perspective
I was alone in the duplex over Spring Break; just me and Witchy. The last couple of months had been pretty nasty. I screwed up my relationship with Cam, almost lost my job, and was damn close to flunking out of school. If it wasn’t for Zach, I would’ve been dead in the water over a month ago, I sucked at academics, always have. I had to have a 3.5 GPA to get into school, the only reason I made it was because my high school class only had 30 kids and the principal didn’t dare flunk anyone or the community would have had her ass, so the curriculum was easy and I had a lot of chances for do overs. It’s not like I was stupid, I just didn’t really care about school and I struggled to make it make it through. I figured college would be more interesting and I’d apply myself more but the reality of it was that I found so much other stuff that interested me and most of it revolved around sex. And now I was struggling again.
Thanks to Zach, I had caught up with my studying and thought I was making headway, but then I totally bombed my Statistics midterm. I was planning on heading south and partying with Cam and Elliot for Spring Break but after my Statistics fail, I decided to stay home. Life was not really going my way, and it was my own damn fault. About two days into the break, they posted test results for my Logic midterm. Shit! another fail. There was no recovering from this and I felt hopeless. My first year grades were average at best and had been going downhill ever since, now I had officially hit rock bottom. I was freaking the fuck out.
My parents were struggling to pay my tuition and I was just wasting their money. I bought a pack of cigarettes and sat on the porch, sipping whiskey, smoking, and thinking about my life. The reality was that even if I was a straight A student, I would probably end up back on the farm anyway. So why was I here? I decided to sleep on it, then called my parents first thing in the morning. We talked for hours, they were extremely understanding and supportive helping me examine all my options. After our conversation I decided that it would be best for me to head home. I could work on the farm and go to community college for agricultural studies. My parents were disappointed but agreed that it was the best option, and supported me.
=It may have been the cowardly thing to do, but I decided to leave before anyone got back from Spring Break. I wrote a letter to each of the guys in the duplex saying the things I couldn’t bring myself to say in person. Each of them had been a good friend (or more) to me over the past almost two years; I couldn’t face them but I couldn’t just disappear without a trace either. I put the letters in envelopes with their names on them and left them laid out on the dining room table along with a check for the next two months’ rent. We had four months left on the lease and I planned on sending two more months’ rent when I had it. I wasn’t going to leave Cam and Max holding the bag for my commitment.
I moved Witchy up to Brody’s place, put some fresh kitty litter in her box and left her enough food and water to keep her happy until Brody got back on Sunday night. That was the last loose end I needed to tie up. Saturday morning my parents showed up with the old pick-up truck to take me and my belongings back to the farm. The old duplex disappeared in the rearview mirror as we headed home.
I had come to Milwaukee with so much hope and now I felt like a total failure. I just couldn’t face my friends yet, so I just snuck out while they were gone. My college career had come to an end.
To be continued…
