Zach’s Perspective
It was Christmas morning and I woke up at home in my bed with Seth. Another holiday together, I swear to god nothing made me happier than being with Seth. About a year and a half ago I was still closeted, not even sure I could find the strength to come out and be myself. I was afraid of how my parents would react, how my teammates would react, what coming out would mean for my future… everything. Now I couldn’t imagine my world without Seth. The last year and a half had been the best of my life and the idea of a future with Seth excited the hell out of me. We had started talking about forever lately and I loved it. My parents had accepted Seth as one of the family but were worried about us moving too fast, especially my mother. We were both about to turn twenty and my mom was afraid that we would make major life decisions before we even had a chance to really experience life… in other words, get married too young. She had told me a million times that she loved Seth but wanted us both to put our education first and finish college. Her fear was that we’d get married while we were still in college, compromise our dreams and end up resenting each other for it. She didn’t give us enough credit. Seth and I knew each other’s dreams and encouraged them. We each knew what the other wanted from life, supported each other, and talked things through. There was no doubt that we’d find a way for us both to have it all; together. But my mother was worried that we were too young to be so serious. That’s why I saved the best Christmas gift for last, until Seth and I could be alone… after family time.
Christmas Eve at home had been great, I spent half my night just watching Seth interact with my family, he fit in so perfectly. He was one of us. After a great breakfast with my family, we loaded up the car and headed south to spend Christmas with Seth’s family. They were so much more fun than my family. Don’t get me wrong… I loved spending time with my family but the dynamics of the two families were so different. When Seth’s family got together it was always a party.
We had to pass by Milwaukee to get to Mom and Pop Nicholls’ house, as we got near the bypass Seth suggested we take a detour to check on Witchy. “She’s a cat, she’ll be fine. We’ll probably just piss her off by interrupting her naptime” I told him, but he insisted we stop. For the record, I was right. She was fine. As long as we were there, we unloaded the gifts from my family and used the bathroom before we jumped back into the car and headed south again. An hour later we pulled up in front of Mom and Pop’s. The party was already going, and as always, Seth’s family rushed out to greet us. They helped us unload the gifts and cookies from the car. Oh my god so many cookies! I don’t know what the hell got into Seth, but he spent days baking. The house smelled awesome, and I swear Cam gained like 10 pounds. That little bastard kept coming upstairs and stealing cookies… Seth bitched at him every time he did it, but I know he really loved it. Seth loved cooking for people and took Cam gorging himself on cookies as a compliment, besides Cam was his best friend and he’d do anything for him.
Anyway, we unloaded my car and went inside the over-decorated house. Mom and Pop Nicholl’s had a ‘the tackier the better’ philosophy when it came to Christmas decorations. Our hands were full of gifts (and cookies) as we walked through the loud, chaotic house. Everyone was hugging us, patting our backs, and welcoming us in. His brothers were all there, along with Scotty’s family. I LOVED Seth’s family gatherings. My family was so quiet, proper, and reserved, Seth’s family was loud and chaotic, they loved each other’s company and the chaos made it more fun.
We had beaten Kevin and Randy to the house and they had arrived just as we were getting settled in; the chaos ensued all over again. I don’t know what the attraction was, but baby Scotty had been obsessed with me since the first time he set his little blue eyes on me over a year ago. Whenever I was in the room he was in my arms, at my side, or on my lap, wherever he could squeeze in. I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t love every second of it. When that kid said my name or reached for me, my heart melted. He came running into the house yelling my name and looking for me, when he found be he hugged my knees. I dropped everything, picked him up and hugged him like my life depended on it and gave him a zerbit on his little belly, he giggled in my ear. That was one of the most amazing sounds in the universe to me. I only held him for about two minutes when the one person that trumped me walked into the room… Grandma Nicholls. As soon as he saw her, he jumped from my arms to hers. But I was still impressed that I was in his top two.
Ever since Kev and Randy left the boys with us overnight a couple of months before, my entire vision for the future had started to solidify. It had become clear what I wanted; a family, kids, and a life with Seth. Seth was my future. I know my parents wanted us to wait (especially mom), and Seth was trying to be mature about it. But fuck that. I knew what I wanted and was ready to commit now. TONIGHT. I knew the life I wanted and had mapped out my Plan A, my Plan B, my Plan C, even my Plan D… and every damn one of them centered around Seth. He was the one sure thing when it came to the future. If everything I had ever worked for fell through, it wouldn’t matter as long as I was with Seth. Randy and I were talking when we were at their house over Thanksgiving and I asked him if he had any regrets about marrying Kev and raising a family. He told me that his only regret was that he didn’t make his move ten years sooner. Well, I had that opportunity and wasn’t going to waste it. Tonight, was the night.
It was just about noon when we all gathered around the tree to open gifts. Everyone there wore a sweater made by Mom Nicholls. Knitting was her way of welcoming new people, and over the years she had covered us all. At my house, opening gifts was very organized, we went around the tree taking turns opening them one by one and oohing and ahing over each one. Mom tried to make it fun with our ugly Christmas sweater tradition, but it was still tame in comparison. With Seth’s family it was a free for all! Once the three toddlers (Matty, Scotty, and Paulie; Kev and Scotty’s sister Joanie’s kid) had opened their gifts the rest of us just had at it. Apparently, word had spread that Seth was up for an internship and worried about his wardrobe, because everyone got him professional clothes or gift cards for a men’s store (including me). Even my parents got him a professional leather bag. That’s the one thing about both of our families, they were all thoughtful and generous. We had two solid safety nets, if we ever got in trouble, both our families would be there to help.
After the gifts had been open and we were all just hanging out enjoying each other’s company, Brad came up to Seth and took him into Pop’s den to talk in private. They were just gone a few minutes and when Seth returned; his mood had changed completely. He had a scowl on his face and he seemed pissed off. I asked him what was wrong and he just blew me off, he wasn’t talking. Shit! His father almost ruined Thanksgiving, and now it looked like something was threatening to ruin Christmas.
Seth’s mood still hadn’t changed when we all gathered in the kitchen to fill our plates for dinner. At my house we all sat at the formal table and ate together. Here, there was always food out, and the big meal came out midafternoon. The table was set, but the family was too big to sit around it, especially with three highchairs, so Mom Nicholl’s just put everything out buffet style and people would just fill their plates and sit wherever they could. We were in close proximity, but not necessarily all at one table at the same time. It seemed like I was always grazing when I was with Seth’s family. After dinner we helped clear the dishes and set up the dessert table. There was so much there, including a freaking million cookies from Seth. We all grabbed dessert, coffee, hot chocolate, or after dinner drinks and hung out around the Christmas tree again. We watched the kids play with their haul of toys while the adults talked about anything and everything. Seth was still in a shitty mood. So, I got up and went to the closet to grab our coats. I put mine on, then went out to the family room and handed Seth’s to him, “Come on, we’re going for a walk” I said not asking.
We set out into the Frozen Wisconsin winter with snow and salt crunching under our feet as we walked through the cute little neighborhood of family homes. Cars lined the streets, every driveway had multiple cars, and every house was lit up inside and out. There were family Christmas celebrations happening up and down the block. “So, what’s up with you?” I asked point blank, and as he started to open his adorable mouth I said, “and don’t tell me nothing. Talk to me and tell me what’s up.”
He smiled weakly at me knowing I wouldn’t let him off the hook. “Brad gave me an envelope that came to their house for me. It was from Father” He said. Fuck! I thought we were done with that prick.
“What was it?” I asked.
Seth reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled up brown envelope, handed it to me and said, “a guilt trip. Just a fucking guilt trip.” I opened the envelope and pulled out the crumpled letter and a St. Joseph medal; the medal my parents gave Seth last Christmas to remind him of the importance of his faith and family. He had given the medal to his father when he tried to reunite with him before summer break to remind him of the same things. The letter was a backhanded apology that ended with “I’m sending this medal back to you because I don’t deserve it, or a son like you. I hope you’ll give me another chance.” There were other words that basically added up to nothing but excuses for him not taking accountability for his behavior. Seth was right, it was a guilt trip. His father had blown his opportunity to reunite with his kids and now he was preying on Seth’s faith and love of family to try to weasel another chance. It wasn’t working.
Our walk had taken us a few blocks away to a small park with swings, a sand box, a jungle gym, etc. everything was covered for the winter. I pushed Seth gently against and old, leafless oak tree and said “He’s right. He doesn’t deserve you… and yes this is nothing but a guilt trip. Don’t let him ruin another holiday for you.” Seth smiled weakly as I lifted his chin, looked him in his beautiful eyes and spoke. Seth was expecting some calming words of wisdom, instead he got “Fuck that old goat.” That made him smile and laugh. “You’ve given him more chances than he deserves. Let it go.”
Seth smiled at me thoughtfully, “Remember our first Christmas with your parents when you said the prayer, then told your mom that my faith inspired you?” he asked with a sweet, still slightly sad smile.
“Yeah I remember that, but I can’t believe YOU remember that” I responded.
Smiling at me lovingly he said, “I listen to everything you say.” I believed that. Seth was a great listener. “Here I want you to wear this.” With that he lifted the medal and put it around my neck. My mother had already bought him a replacement for himself. I kissed him tenderly on the lips as a thank you for the gesture. “You’re my family now” he added.
“Me and about a hundred other people, dipshit” I responded taking the sadness completely out of is smile and making him laugh again. “It’s hard having so many people love you, isn’t it baby?” I said as I leaned in for another kiss. Seth wrapped his arms around my neck and we just stood there in the freezing cold and hugged, our embrace keeping us warm. “You feel better?” I whispered in his ear after a couple of minutes.
“Yeah. Let’s head back to the house” he responded with a huge smile, adding “thanks.” Good! His father wasn’t going to ruin another holiday.
Seth’s Perspective
We walked back into Mom and Pop’s house and Scotty yelled “Where the hell have you guys been, we’ve been waiting for you?” Then he raised his voice and said, “Okay now that everyone is finally here, we have an announcement.” The room got quiet and all eyes were on him and Brad. “It’s official, we’re adopting!” Mom Nicholl’s jumped out of her chair and hugged him and my brother, while everyone else cheered and congratulated them, begging for more details. Brad and Scotty were happy to share the whole story. They were actually adopting two kids, brother and sister, a three-year-old boy, and an eighteen-month-old girl.
“Finally, a little girl!” Mom N added with tears in her eyes then asked, “What are their names?”
“Brooklyn and Maddox” Scotty said with a grin.
Then Kevin chimed in “Brooklyn and Maddy. And he’ll be going to preschool with Matty. So, we’ll have Maddy and Matty, that’ll get interesting.” Through the whole announcement Kev and Randy just stood there with smiles on their faces, Brad and Scotty had been going through the process since mid-summer, and the other two obviously knew all about it. “We’ve gotten to meet them a couple of times, they are so sweet.” Kevin was as excited as Brad and Scotty; he was all about family and tried so hard to lure Scotty to Phoenix after college so they could raise their families together… so this was his dream come true too. “The Nicholls boys are going to run that freaking PTA” he said excitedly as everyone laughed.
Brad and Scotty told us that the pair was being raised in California by a single mother who had drug issues and they had been in and out of the system their whole lives. The mother recently died of an overdose, there are two different fathers and they had both signed away their parental rights a while ago. Neither had any interest in the kids. Apparently, my brother and Scotty had been looking into their options; surrogacy, adoption, etc., when they learned about these two from one of the adoption agencies. once they met them, it was love at first sight.
They were worried that the kids may have some major psychological issues considering all they had been through, but they seemed well adjusted. They had been with the same foster parents since Brooklyn was born, unfortunately the couple was older and wasn’t prepared to adopt them permanently at their age. Brad and Scotty were worried that they would have separation anxiety when they were removed from their foster parents and already getting a lot of professional help. The new family likely had a rough road ahead of them, but the good news was that they had the village behind them.
All anyone could talk about were Maddox and Brooklyn for the rest of the day. I couldn’t be happier for my brother and Scotty; they had been awesome parents to me and my brothers and had a lot of love to give. Little Brooklyn and Maddox probably had no clue, but they had just won the parent lottery… well the family lottery. The people in this house would show those kids love like they had never known before. The guys had tons of pictures of the kids on their phones, they were so damn cute! I couldn’t wait to meet new niece and nephew. They were in the final stages of adoption and hoped to finalize everything by the end of February at the latest. Later that day Scotty and Brad told me they would keep my room open for me and I could come back whenever I wanted. That meant a lot to me, their house was still my home. Eli had moved in with Brian over the summer, so they had plenty of other space for the two kids.
It was around 8PM when we finally packed up the little GTI and hit the road back to Milwaukee. It had been an emotional couple of days full of family chaos and I was ready to get back to the quiet of our flat. Zach convinced me to stop off at MacDonald’s on the way home. “Jesus, Zach, we’ve been eating for two days straight. How the fuck are you still hungry?!” I said rolling my eyes at him. Zach smiled as he pulled into the parking lot, I was surprised they were even open on Christmas. We got out of the car and walked in. I grabbed a table and Zach went up to the counter to order. This was the same Macdonald’s where Zach and I had our first date, I realized Zach had guided me to the same table we sat at that night.
About five minutes later Zach came back with the food. His winter coat was gone and he was wearing an old sport coat, just like he had done on our first date. He set a 20-piece McNuggets’, 2 Fries, 2 Large Cokes and a variety of dipping sauces on the table. Then pulled a tealight out of his pocket, lit it and set it on the table. Exactly like our very first date. I smiled at him as I thought back to that night. It still hadn’t hit me that all the similarities to our first date were not coincidences at all, but a well-orchestrated plan. Then Zach said, “You deserve fine dining at a restaurant with a dress code and candlelight,” just like he did on our first date, but this time he got down on one knee, pulled a ring out of his pocket, held it up and added “and I want to share those things and everything else with you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me, Seth Westin?”
I just looked at him. Then at the ring. Then back at him, I thought he was goofing around at first, but that ring was no goof… it was a beautiful engagement ring. The reality hit me like a brick. OH MY GOD! HE WAS PROPOSING TO ME! RIGHT THERE!
I… I... I was speechless, then I opened my mouth and started to protest, “But we’re too young… we decided…” Zach cut me off.
“But nothing, Seth! You know as well as I do that it’s you and me ‘til death do us part, a couple more years won’t change that.” He was still on one knee holding out the ring. “Seth Westin, will you Marry me and spend the rest of your life with me?”
We were too young, we hadn’t finished college yet, we had no idea where grad school or our careers would take us, I could think of a million reasons to say no, and only one reason to say yes. I loved Zach! That one reason outweighed the million and my head lost out to my heart. “Hell Yes! I will absolutely marry you, Zach.”
With a giant smile on his beautiful face, he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on my finger. That hot little, adorable, perfect, blonde jock was shaking like a leaf. He kissed the ring after he put it on my finger and said in a shaky voice, on the verge of tears “I love you, Seth. We’re going to have the best life together.”
“I love you too, Zach” I said as the emotion hit me and tears rolled down my cheeks. I was engaged… to Zach. HOLY SHIT!!!!!! That hot little jock that I thought was a homophobic straight boy when we met almost a year and a half ago was going to be mine for life. We hugged for a minute, then Zach sat down and started to pick at the food. Neither of us were hungry, the food was just part of Zach’s cheesy reenactment of our first date. “Zach?” I said quietly. “You’re not thinking of getting married like… like now are you.”
He smiled at me and said, “I don’t care.” He took a deep breath, “I don’t even care if we tell anyone or not yet. I just wanted to know in my heart that we’re together forever.” Then we started to talk seriously about the wedding. We’d definitely wait until graduation, maybe even after grad school; it was going to be a very long engagement. We also had to keep our engagement from his parents for a while, his mom would freak out. And I wasn’t ready to tell my family and steal the thunder away from Brad and Scotty starting a family. So, we concluded that I would wear the ring, but we’d wait until people noticed. Shit, here I was keeping secrets again… but this time it was fine by me. The idea of it being a personal covenant, our little secret, made it more special to me. It meant that Zach didn’t do this just for the excitement of it, or to claim me in front of the world; he did this because he loved me.
We hung out at MacDonald’s for a while and talked about our future. It felt different now, more real. We finally left and went back to the dark, empty duplex. Witchy was waiting to pounce into my arms, she purred nonstop as she rubbed her black fur against my chest. She was happy to see us. Zach built a fire in the fireplace and I started putting our gifts away and organizing. Finally, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of champagne I had bought for New Year’s Eve, and a couple of champagne flutes then joined Zach in the living room. He was bent over stoking the fire when I walked in, damn he had a great ass.
“Look what I found” I said holding up the bottle of champagne and the flutes.
“Perfect!” Zach said as he took it from my hand and uncorked it with a loud *pop* that sent witchy running out of the room. I held the flutes as he poured. He set the bottle down on the coffee table and we drank a wordless toast to our future together. We were standing in front of the fireplace and Zach put his forehead against mine and quietly said “Am I forcing you into this?”
“Hell no!” I said, my lips just inches from his. “I’m just trying to be rational. Hell, if I followed my heart, I’d elope with you right now.”
Zach smiled at that thought and chuckled a little, “Damn, my mom would kill us.” We both snickered, then kissed. It was soft and tender as our lips touched lightly and our eyelashes brushed together.
We both had our eyes wide open, watching the other as we kissed with big smiles on our faces, “I can’t believe we’re actually engaged!” I said as we set down the champagne flutes and I threw my arms around his neck; he wrapped his around my waist. He was whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I don’t know why the hell they call them ‘sweet nothings’ because at that moment they were everything. He was talking about us together forever. It. Was. Everything!
We were standing up kissing, then we took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace and sipped our champagne while we started at the fire, still wearing the bulky sweaters Mom Nicholls had made for us. It was the end of Christmas, but the beginning of the rest of our lives together and it felt amazing. I snuggled up against Zach and he put his strong arm over my shoulders. I fell asleep on the couch, in the arms of the man I planned to spend the rest of my life with. I never slept better.
To be continued…
