Seth’s Perspective
It was loud and chaotic. The smells of Thanksgiving wafted through the house as all our friends gathered and shared stories about their morning. This was my favorite day of the year, but I wasn’t enjoying it. The events of the morning had taken over my thoughts. Zach was sitting next to me and could tell something was up, but he had no clue that my parents had come with us to the police station or what happened there. “What’s up with you?” he asked as I played with the food on my plate, mindlessly twirling my fork in the mash potatoes. I didn’t answer, I didn’t want to discuss in front of everyone.
The conversation was loud and laughter echoed throughout the house like it did every Thanksgiving, but still I wasn’t enjoying myself. I looked up and there was Marc, in full uniform. “Hey guys!” he bellowed as everybody greeted him with enthusiasm. “I’m still on duty but I thought I’d drop in and say hey” he said as he grabbed a Diet Coke from the fridge and pulled up a chair next to his husband Jordy and absent mindedly picked off his plate. “Thanks for bringing dinner to the station again, the guys loved it. Hey Brad, who were those people with you at the station this morning?” he asked my brother.
“My father and mother” Brad said as he stuffed a forkful of turkey in his face. The room went silent. Only Brad, Scotty and I knew they had come along and we hadn’t said a word to anyone about it. I felt Zach’s arm move around my neck and looked over at him. He instantly understood my mood swing and gave me a supportive peck on the cheek. “You alright?” He whispered in my ear; I shook my head and said “no,” I seriously wasn’t alright.
“Are you fucking serious?” Marc asked with wide eyes. “You let us tell that story in front of your father? Holy shit.” He was in shock and I could tell he was trying to remember exactly what he had said about my father in his story, “Oh my god! Detective Morris called him a ‘misinformed Monster.’” He blurted out in disbelief.
“Yup. He needed to hear it” responded Brad as he continued to eat with all eyes and attention pointed in his direction. There was a calm about Brad, it was like he had finally faced his fears and was at peace with it, however, the rest of the room had no idea how to react. I was still a little upset, but I guess Scotty was right, Brad deserved a chance to speak his mind after all the shit my father put him through.
“You brought mother and father to the police station?” Eli asked in total amazement. His eyes were wide and he had a half-smile on his face, Brian had the same reaction. I think all three of my brothers were feeling some level of vindication. We had all been abused by that man and never had much of a chance to face him and tell him how bad he hurt us. I faced him at the end of last semester and frankly, I was the perfect, obedient churchgoing, god-fearing son and believed everything Father said, so I had suffered the least. I was ready to move on and had really thought everyone else was ready too, but it was clear that there was a lot of unfinished business where my parents were concerned. Brian and Eli wanted every detail of our visit to the police station. Brad proudly told the story with Marc adding details as my brothers and our friends hung on their every word. The more I listened to Brad, the more I understood why he did what he did to father. He needed our father to hear his side of the story and take responsibility. Shit, he deserved that.
“Can you show it?” Brad asked Marc.
Marc looked at him apprehensively “technically I don’t have a copy of this” he said as he pulled his phone out, “I could get in some serious trouble if they knew I had a copy of the surveillance footage.”
“Show it” Brad said still eating. He was ready to bare it all after years of not talking about it. Marc showed us the video. Oh my god, it happened exactly as Marc had told us earlier. Two men ambushed him as he innocently got out of his car in the parking garage of his condo. He popped his trunk and got out of his car when two men came from the shadows and grabbed him, the top was still down on the little TT. They were bigger men, one put his arm around his neck and the other tied his wrists together with a long zip tie. They were obviously waiting for him. Then they injected something into his neck and he just collapsed in their arms. Marc cut to another video that showed him being dragged into a van waiting in front of the building. I could see a man in the van, he was barely distinguishable, but I know my own father and it was him. Something about that glimpse of him made this all so real for me. He did it. There was no denying it. My breath was coming in short pants, as I started to choke up watching this disgusting display play out in front of my eyes. Zach pulled me closer and kissed me. Brad just kept eating, he had obviously grown numb to it after four years, but it was ne and very raw for me. For all of us. My family and friends were silent as we all watched them take Brad away.
We all knew about the abduction and we had always talked about it kind of casually as something that just, you know… happened. History. But watching it play out in real life was terrifying. No wonder Brad couldn’t forgive my father.
I did my best to get in a more festive mood and enjoy my favorite holiday. After dinner I took a quick break to call and check on Max. He said he felt better but he still sounded like shit. At least he said he was eating again; I had made him some turkey soup and a turkey potpie with the leftovers before we left. Zach was giving me crap about it calling me Martha Stewart. Max and I talked for a few minutes and he confessed that he was relieved that he couldn’t go to Eric’s for Thanksgiving because he didn’t like the idea of having to lie about their situation. I encouraged him to talk to the guys about his doubts when they came home but he just blew me off, he wasn’t ready to confront them. Well, I tried, but I had enough of my own drama to deal with. I hung up with Max and went back to the party. After a couple of hours of hanging out with my family and friends I felt better about everything, even though I was convinced my parents wouldn’t show up for dinner the next day.
I didn’t sleep very well again that night and on Friday morning I got up before dawn and started cooking. Father and mother or not, the rest of the family would be there by 1:00 expecting a feast. It was barely 7:00AM when the doorbell rang, the rest of the house was still asleep. I wiped my hands on the apron and went to see who was there so early, I peered out the window to see my father.
I opened the door and stepped outside “What are you doing here so early, father?” I noticed that I started thinking of him as “father” again instead of “dad” since I recognized him in the van on the surveillance video yesterday. It was like the reality of his crimes against my family became more real and he seemed more distant to me again.
“I wanted to talk to you and Brad before the others started to show up.” He said sheepishly as he gave me an unexpected hug.
“I’m the only one awake” I said, not really knowing how to respond to his hug.
“Can we talk somewhere?” he asked and I led him into the living room, he looked around as he entered. “Wow, this is a beautiful home. Brad and Scott really took care of you boys, didn’t they?” he asked. I nodded.
“They gave all three of us a great start” I responded.
“Thank god for them.” He said. I was a little surprised by that response, I guess I always assumed father saw it as us being taken from him, not saved. Frankly… I had no clue what he was thinking or how this discussion would go. We sat in the living room, me on a chair and father across from me on the couch. He spoke in a weak voice with a defeated look on his face, “That story was hard to hear.” He paused; the house was silent except for the gurgling of the coffee pot from the kitchen. I stood, reached out my hand and led him to the kitchen. I poured the coffee than went back to work as he sat at the counter. “I don’t know how any of you could ever forgive me. I had given up on being part of your lives and then you showed up on my doorstep a few months ago. Then you invited us here and gave me hope that maybe there could be some future for us” he paused again and looked up at me, “but I did too much damage. I think it’s best if mother and I just head back to Texas, but I wanted to thank you for trying and tell you that I love you.”
I kept working, then looked at him and asked “Was Brad right? Would you have come for me too once you found out I was gay?”
The color drained from his face; we both knew the answer. “I was a different man then; my mind wasn’t right. Thanks to a lot of therapy, and some harsh consequences I’ve changed.” He looked me in the eye and for the first time ever I saw him cry, “All I ever wanted was a wonderful family. I had the most wonderful family ever and I destroyed it” He went into a full breakdown. His cries were of genuine anguish.
Brad walked into the room in his boxers, he stood in the doorway silently behind me looking at father. When father saw him, Brad quietly said “good morning” then casually walked to the coffee pot. “I’m surprised to see you here.” Brad looked at our father and realized he was truly upset; it wasn’t just a show. “Come on father” Brad said as he led him out to the patio and shut the glass door behind them. The two sat at the high-top table near the pool and talked… and yelled. I kept working in the kitchen casting an eye outside every now and then to make sure they didn’t kill each other. Sometimes they were speaking calmly, other times there was yelling (mostly coming from Brad), it was tense. I brought them more coffee hoping to hear what was being said, but they both clammed up when I came out. Almost an hour had gone by when Scotty and Zach emerged from the bedrooms.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Scotty asked as he looked out the glass doors and poured himself a cup of coffee.
“They’ve been out there almost an hour talking and yelling. I’m surprised you guys didn’t hear them” I said.
“I was passed out” Zach said as he kissed me on the neck. “Your sisters’ flight lands in about an hour.”
“Brad’s supposed to pick them up” Scotty said.
“If you take over here, I’ll go get them” I said. “I should probably update them on what’s been going on before they get here anyway.” Scotty nodded, then covered his bare, muscular chest with an apron and took over for me.
“I’ll go with” Zach said. I told him to stay with Scotty so I could talk to them alone. He reluctantly agreed as I handed him my apron. As I left the kitchen to take a shower, I looked back at these two gorgeous studs wearing nothing but boxers and aprons making dinner with my father just outside the glass door speaking with my boxer clad brother. I laughed to myself as I left the room.
I returned to the kitchen showered and dressed “My car keys are on the hook” Scotty said. I looked out on the patio to see Brad and father still going at it as I grabbed the keys.
“I’ll be back in a few” I said as I left to fetch my sisters. I hadn’t seen either of them since my high school graduation party. They both lived near Boston, had good jobs, and serious boyfriends. I loved my sisters and wished they lived closer. I got to the airport and texted them to meet me in the arrivals area. I was leaning against the black VW Taos that had brought me to Phoenix from Texas almost four years ago waiting for them. I only had to wait a few minutes before they came out.
“SETHER!!!” Mary yelled as she dragged her suitcase behind her and ran to me. My older sister Theresa was following her with a huge smile on her face. The three of us embraced each other for a couple of minutes, I was so happy to see them. I put their bags in the car as Theresa got in the passenger seat and Mary jumped in the back and knelt on the floor in the middle with her face between the two front seats. “When do mother and father get in?” Mary asked.
“They showed up two days early, Zach and I ran into them at the airport when we landed”
“Oh my god” Theresa said as both girls looked at me. “How has it been?”
“A shit show” I said watching traffic as I drove out of the airport towards home. I told them everything that happened since my parents had arrived, they were listening to every word.
“Oh my god! I can’t believe Brad did that.” Theresa said in utter disbelief.
“Good for him” Mary chimed in. “after all he went through, he needed to say all that. He was so damn strong for all of us. He pretty much just ignored what happened to him and focused on making sure the rest of us were alright. He got you guys out of that house and made sure me and Theresa could stay in school. He was a fucking rock!”
I ended my story with “Father and Brad were on the patio going at it when I left, Brad was doing most of the talking and it was tense as hell. Father showed up at the house early this morning to tell me they were going back to Texas.”
“Fine by me” Mary said.
“Me too” Theresa agreed. “I didn’t come for them; I came for you baby brother” she said as she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.
“Same here” Mary added as she leaned up and gave me another kiss. “I wouldn’t drive down the block to see father, but I’d go to the moon and back for you, Sether.”
What the hell was wrong with me? My sisters loved me! My brothers loved me! My friends loved me! Zach loved me! So, why the fuck was I chasing the love of a man that would’ve had me abducted and reprogrammed the second he discovered I was gay. This was all so insane. Brad was right, I was romanticizing the idea of the perfect family. I fucking had the perfect family. I told my sisters that I loved them just as we pulled up to the house. I noticed the rental car that father was driving was gone. We unloaded Scotty’s car and entered the house, it was quiet. “We’re back” I yelled, there was no immediate response. We walked through the house to the kitchen, I looked outside and saw Zach laying by the pool, thank god he put his swimsuit on. “there’s Zach” I said to my sisters before I opened the door.
“Damn, Seth. He’s hot” Mary said looking over her sunglasses.
“Mary! He’s 19! He’s just a baby” Theresa chided.
“Yeah, a hot, muscled baby” Mary said snickering. “You did good baby brother.”
I laughed out loud, then opened the door and started walking to Zach “Hay babe, these are my sisters” I said as I introduced them. “Did my father leave?”
“Yeah, right after you did” Zach replied as he jumped up and greeted my sisters, pouring on the charm and instantly winning them over. Just then Brad and Scotty came out of their bedroom onto the patio and joined the little reunion. Everyone hugged and greeted each other, asking about flights, and boyfriends, and anything else they could think of, again it was instant family chaos and I loved it.
I took Brad aside and sked him point blank, “So, what happened with father, Brad?”
“I told him everything I’ve been holding back for six years. He went back to the hotel and said they would be back at 1:00, I told them we eat at 2:00 and you cooked an amazing dinner.”
“Really? They’re coming?” I said, shocked, excited, and a little disappointed. By then I had come to the realization that this whole reunion was a bad idea, but I guess I still had a tiny glimmer of hope that things might work out… honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking, this whole thing had been an emotional rollercoaster.
“Yup, I told him they were welcome here under the condition that we don’t try to pretend the past didn’t happen. He agreed and said he would talk to mother.” Brad said.
Then, for the first time maybe ever, I asked Brad “are YOU alright?” He had always looked out for me, but I realized that I never really returned that favor. He was the strong one.
Brad smiled at me, then embraced me “I am if you are baby brother” He whispered in my ear. “I need you to be alright in order for me to be alright.” I don’t know if any words every hit me harder than those did. Through all of this, Brad took care of the five of us. He made sure we got away from father, that we had a home, that we were all able to finish high school and even go on to college if we wanted. At twenty-three years old he took on five children, and THAT is how he got through the pain. By easing ours, and Scotty was at his side every second.
I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could, “I don’t need them” I said, “I have the best dad ever. You.” He kissed the top of my head and we just stood in the middle of the chaos hugging as Scotty, Zach, and my sisters laughed and joked with each other. “why didn’t we ever talk about this?” I asked.
"Because A) It was hard for me to talk about. It was easier to get past it my ignoring it, and B) It would’ve Just scared you guys and you were all scared enough at the time.” Brad said quietly so only I could hear.
“I’m sorry I brought them here.” I truly was sorry. This was all a big mistake, but it was too late, I was in deep and they were due here in less than two hours.
“It’s okay. I understand, Seth. You deserved a decent mom and dad and it sucks that I couldn’t give them to you.” Brad said as we held each other so tight that it hurt in the most wonderful way.
“You gave me better, brother. I was just too damn stupid to realize it.” By now tears were flowing from my eyes, I heard Brad sniffling too.
I guess our reunion dinner was still on. Shit… be careful what you wish for, I guess. I went into the kitchen to check on things and finish cooking, Brad joined me. We worked silently as I made my grandmother’s cornbread and mac and cheese recipes. Occasionally, I’d look over at Brad and just smile, I can’t believe it took me almost four years to truly understand what he had sacrificed for me… for all of us. I took the huge turkey out of the oven to let it cool while I put the side dishes in the oven to warm up. Eli, Brian, and Olivia had all shown up, everyone was there except for father and mother. Everyone helped me in the kitchen, our feast looked and smelled magnificent, I was pretty damn proud of myself. It was almost 2:00, time to eat, but mother and father still hadn’t arrived yet.
I took the opportunity to clean up a little and put on something nicer. When I came out of the bathroom everyone was gathered by the pool talking and laughing. Well, everyone except father and mother, they still hadn’t arrived and it was coming up on 2:30. I texted them. No response. About twenty minutes later, I phoned them and it went right to voicemail. I went back into the kitchen to try and keep things warm. It was over an hour later when Brad came up behind me “I think they ditched us, buddy.” I knew he was right. I really believed my father had changed, but when it came down to it the reality of his sins was too much to face.
I turned around and was face to face with the man I owed my life to, my big, brave, often underappreciated brother. Our noses were almost touching when I said, “Fuck em’ my family is all here, let’s eat.” Brad broke into a huge smile and called everyone in to eat.
Zach came up and put his arms around me as I worked at the kitchen counter “Are they here?” he asked as he kissed my neck.
“Nope. I think they ditched us… the cowards.” I responded.
Zach squeezed me tighter and asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah” I said with a confident smile on my face. “In fact, I am fucking awesome. My whole family is here.” My mother had been delusional for years, my father may have been repentant, but I surmised that he was too weak of a man to take accountability for his actions, after all, he no longer had god to blame for his misdeeds. My parents didn’t want to face the music, they wanted to ignore history and rewrite reality. They came here assuming that the past had been forgotten, when they realized that wasn’t the case, they bailed on us. For the second time, and as far as I was concerned the last time in my life, I had been abandoned by my parents. But this time was different. This time I was strong thanks to the unlimited love and support of my siblings.
We all sat down with our plates piled high and me at the head of the table at Brad’s insistence. “Why don’t you say the prayer” he said to me. He wasn’t much on religion, but he had always respected my faith.
Instead of a prayer I felt a toast was more appropriate; “To my family, biological and otherwise for always being there for each other” my siblings, with smiles on their beautiful faces, lifted their glasses as I continued “And to my parents…” the smiles left their faces, “…Brad and Scotty. Thank you both for all you sacrificed just so I could be myself.” There was a loud cheer as we all lifted our glasses to the young two men who fought the odds and got us all through unfathomable circumstances.
Once the glasses clinked and were set back on the table, Brad and Scotty got up from their chairs, came over to me and hugged me so freaking hard I thought I was going to burst from the pressure. The three of us had tears in our eyes, as did the rest of my family. Throughout dinner my entire family talked openly for the very first time about what we had all gone through, so much emotional pain, fear, and yes… abuse. The three latecomers, Scotty, Olivia, and Zach just sat and listened, all of them getting a better understanding of the men they loved.
My family reunion had morphed into a long overdue catharsis. That night I cuddled up in my bed with Zach and thought about how if it had been up to my father we would never have met. But we did. We met. We fell in love. We were here together. Maybe that was the silver lining to all this insane bullshit. I fell into the deepest sleep I had experienced in years. I was finally at peace with my fucked-up situation.
# # # #
Max’s Perspective
“Well, it looks like you’re feeling better” a voice said from above, waking me out of my slumber on Saturday morning. I looked up to see Eric and Cam standing above me looking down, they had come back a day early to check on me. Eric was grinning wide and Cam looked pissed off as fuck. I looked around in my groggy state and realized I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room.
Then a cute voice with a southern accent said, “hey fella’s, welcome back” and I realized I was asleep on the couch with my head on Brody’s lap.
To be continued…
