Discovering Love

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 11

Horizons

I sat in the bowling alley where I guess I'd sat about a million times. Doug and Timmy joked and laughed about things him and Doug had seen and done. I couldn't forget the things I'd seen them doing. Out of the house they were just guys like me, a bit younger, but they didn't seem any different from me. Doug was easy, warm, and friendly. He knew a lot of people. A lot of people knew him. When he talked to me it was as though I was important to him. It was like he was happy to be with me.

I wasn't sure I was happy to be with Doug because I liked him in a way that I wasn't sure he liked me. Sitting across from Timmy made it doubly difficult because I liked him in the same way I liked Doug. Just the night before I hadn't liked Timmy, not that I gave a great deal of thought to it. At the time it seemed to me like he was weird but he wasn't weird at all. I knew what he had been doing with Herbie even when I couldn't see them doing it, and that's what I didn't like, and yet, I was thinking about doing it all the time. I was only waiting for my chance.

After I'd seen Herbie on top of him, I was sure Timmy wasn't a nice boy, but what the hell is a nice boy. Who was I to judge someone for doing what I wanted to be doing? When we'd met him out on the highway, Timmy was totally cool. We talked about school, other kids over more food and more sodas. Timmy had immediately gone and ordered fries for all of us as well as Cokes.

"You shouldn't be spending your money on me," I said. "We don't know each other all that well."

"Why not. I got money. I don't mind buying. Y'all buy when you got money, right? It's no big deal. It'll be gone by tomorrow and I won't remember what I spent it on."

"Yeah," I said, not knowing if he was right. I never had much money and I rarely spent it on others. I didn't like people giving me things because it made me feel like I owed them something and I didn't like owing anyone anything. I smiled and nibbled at the fries and wondered why he bought them.

"He's always doing that," Doug said. "I don't think much about it any more. I don't know no one else who's always buying me stuff."

"I feel funny eating in front of you. No reason not to all have something. It's no big deal, okay! It's not like I don't always pig out over your house."

"It's not like I buy it," Doug said.

"Cool," I said, as Timmy slumped down in his chair and ate one French fry at a time, carefully dunking each one in the cup full of ketchup he'd brought back for us. Doug shook his head and laughed at him, tossing a handful in his mouth and washing them down with big gulps of soda. I followed his lead and we all sat for awhile eating and drinking.

"You coming back tonight? My parents won't be back until tomorrow," Doug said.

"Not for the game. You know I don't like that. I forget I can trust guys that want you to be messin' with them."

"We can hang out in the television room. They don't come up in there. We got money for pizza. I'm keeping it hide away from The King so we don't end up with more beer."

"Kewl," Timmy said. "Who'll be there? Herbie?"

"They have dates," Doug advised.

"Herbie?" Timmy asked, sounding surprised.

"That's what he says. They're going to the drive-in with a guy who has a station wagon. The girls have to be home at midnight from what I hear."

"You going to be there too, Martin?"

"Sure. Greg told me to get out for the weekend. I didn't know why but I told my parents I'd be back Sunday. You guys are stuck with me until then."

"That's cool," Timmy said, swinging his legs back and forth under his chair as he sipped more Coke.

We all tossed our change on the table and came up with enough to bowl at the early bird rate. Most people were away in the lazy days of the late summer. The short-haired military types dotted the lanes. Mostly they bowled alone but a few bowled with other short-haired guys and two bowled with girls. There were a few other kids and a couple of families at the furthest end of the bowling alley.

As I expected Timmy was a spastic bowler. His arms and legs all went in different directions when he released the ball. He looked younger to me than he had the night before. He seemed younger. He was fairly quiet but he always smiled when our eyes got on each other. Doug was smooth and efficient, each release perfectly timed as his form was flawless, but I could easily be fooled. I thought that Doug likely did everything well.

I wasn't a big bowler. I wasn't even a small bowler. I had seen it a lot on television. I took careful aim and proceeded to bounce my first ball off that little knot at the side of my ankle. It then hit the floor with a thud, taking one hop into the "gutter". It then rolled slowly down, down, down, beside the lane until it got within about four feet of the pinsetter. There it took a break.

"Shit!" I said, rubbing my ankle and feeling a lot like a dope.

"You'll have to show me that one. It'd be a good move when you want to delay the game for awhile," Doug giggled, staring at the lame ball.

"I'll get it," Timmy said, tightrope-walking down the gutter cap as a dozen balls all hit the lanes around us.

"Hey! Hey!" someone screamed from the snake bar. "Get off the lane!"

Timmy pointed at the stranded ball and continued the rescue. The fat guy who had forgotten to shave for a few days waved his arm as if to tell him to go ahead. Timmy wasn't paying any attention but ended up following his instructions anyway. He gave the ball a push and it disappeared with a thump back behind the pinsetter. Timmy turned triumphantly and wiggled back up the gutter cap.

"See why we keep him around," Doug said, "he's good at stuff like that."

"Funny," Timmy said.

I turned redder yet after Timmy got back to his seat. Both Doug and Timmy stared at me expectantly as I slumped further down into my seat feeling really inadequate. Why didn't one of them just get up and bowl and quite looking at me, I wondered.

"I never do this," I said apologetically after a moment of silence.

"You get another ball," Doug said. "You can see how you might need two."

They both smiled and I had to walk back up on the alley and I was a lot more careful the second time. The ball rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and at the very last instant - plop, into the gutter it went, just barely missing the 10 pin.

"You need to line your shot up and if you follow through with your arm, watching the first and second pin to the right, you'll keep it in the lane," Doug said. "It takes practice."

"Do what?" I said.

"Here," Timmy said, jumping up and grabbing a ball that was too big for his hand and wrist.

He walked back a few steps and went toward the line with his arms and legs going every which way. He released the ball and it knocked down five pins when it got to the other end of the lane.

"Just follow through and keep your eye on the pins," Doug said calmly. "If you do it like he does you might need an ambulance."

"Shut up," Timmy said, waiting for his second shot.

"I think I broke my foot," I said still rubbing that bump on my ankle.

"Yeah, sixteen pound bowling balls can do that," he said as Timmy took his second shot and knocked down another pin.

"Seven," Timmy shouted triumphantly to Doug.

"Six," Doug said, marking the score sheet.

Doug jumped up for his turn as Timmy came back to his seat. Doug was no larger than Timmy or me, but he somehow handled the ball easier. He just grabbed it up and walked thoughtfully back toward us before turning to face the pins. It was then I saw Greg. The self-assured in-command bowler was like his brother. He was in charge and he wasn't going to let a ball and a bunch of pins get him down. I wondered if I'd ever feel like I was in charge of something.

Doug hesitated for an instant, staring down the pins, and then he flowed forward toward the foul line, setting the ball down so delicately you could hardly hear it except for the sound it made while it steamed toward the other end of the alley. There it smashed into the head pin and cleared the lane of all the wood - a strike!

"Like that," he said, "Follow through. Keep your eyes on the pin."

"Right!" I said. "Get real."

"Ten," Timmy said, coyly batting his eyes up at Doug as he marked something on the scorer's sheet.

"Strike," Doug corrected, and he checked to make sure Timmy had marked the score correctly.

"You're making it harder than it is. You just need some practice."

Doug sounded nonchalant as he dropped down right next to me.

"Where do you get your practice?" I asked. "You're pretty good."

"My dad, Greg, and I go all the time", Doug said. "Greg's incredible. The last time we bowled, in one game he rolled a spare in the first frame, and then strung strikes all the way until the twelfth frame when he only got eight pins - a 288! He bowled a 288!

My highest came was only 224. He murdered us," Doug lamented.

"Why am I not surprised," I said.

"The King is," Timmy said, smiling at me and sounding reverent.

"What does 'is' mean?" Doug asked.

"Just is, Dougie. Greg just is. He's the King."

There was a story there but I didn't want to get into it. I was just starting to like Timmy and any thought of him getting together with Greg wasn't what I wanted to know about.

Doug kept score because Timmy couldn't figure out how to mark strikes and spares properly. I watched and it made no sense to me. We all agreed Doug knew what he was doing but it didn't help our scores much. I ended up with a 65 and a limp while Timmy scored a hefty 111 and Doug shot a 185, making the two of us look bad. He never mentioned he out scored both of us put together. In my defense it was the worse game I ever bowled.

I sat and watched while Timmy and Doug rolled another game. Doug was so smooth and precise that it was almost laughable seeing the lack of coordination from Timmy. He flailed more when he released the ball but the style became more effective as the game went on. The second game ended up with Timmy shooting a 125 and Doug shooting 163. I was the assigned scorekeeper, but Doug corrected my mistakes each time he finished bowling. By the final frames I just let him mark it down. I wasn't real good at math either.

*****

We walked back along the highway as we went back toward Doug's house.

"Putt-Putt," Timmy said as we passed El Rancho.

"I'm still broke," I said. "I didn't even have enough for the bowling".

"Me too, Timmy. Let's don't. Save some cash for next weekend. We'll go into town and get some snacks before we hit the high country. There aren't any stores up there."

"We can do that and Putt-Putt too," Timmy said, pulling a tangle of dollar bills out of one of his pockets. "I got enough for us to all play. Come on, what else is there to do? Then you can come over and let my old man know I'm hanging with you tonight. That'll smooth things out for me."

"Kewl," Doug said. "We'll do it your way."

Timmy played golf a lot like he bowled. His club speed was always the opposite from what was required. The long shots he struck too softly and the short shots he hit too firm. We spent a lot of time chasing his errant balls.

Doug on the other hand played miniature golf similarly to the way he bowled. He studied each shot and rarely took more than two strokes to get it into the cup. The more I watched him the more poised he seemed. I kept finding my way to his lips and eyes and that fine blond hair that blew gently across his forehead in the late afternoon breeze. He was way too handsome to be a kid. The more I was with him the more I liked him and he didn't seem to mind spending time with me.

Timmy was just there and didn't add much to the experience except an occasional laugh when he was scampering after his ball, weaving his way through unsuspecting golfers on adjoining holes as he chased after it. He always smiled and never got down on himself for being such a maladjusted athlete. For most of the time at the Putt-Putt course it was like Doug and I were there alone.

*****

By the time we were walking into Dorchester Estates we had run out of things to say. We made the first right turn and then the first left turn and the first house on the right was Timmy's.

"Looks like you've got company," Doug said.

"Yeah, it does," Timmy said. "I might need to dump you guys if he wants to uh... talk."

"Hey, Tommy," Doug said.

"Hey, Doug," Tommy didn't sound thrilled to see us.

"What's up, dude?" Timmy asked, and he beamed as he looked at his friend.

"The old man's on my back again. Can I hang out until he cools off? We need to talk anyway."

"Sure. Go around back and I'll let you in," Timmy instructed.

"He can't go in the front door?" Doug asked as Tommy rounded the corner of the building.

"My father thinks he spends too much time here. What he don't know won't hurt him."

"Why do you put up with it. He cuts you down in school, makes fun of you in front of your friends, calls you names. He's an asshole, Timmy. You don't need him."

"Shut up. He's my friend."

"Friends don't call their friends names," Doug answered.

"You don't understand, Doug. He's afraid and that's how he deals with it. It's not his fault. I started it and he just doesn't want anyone to think he's... like me."

"What's he afraid of? Didn't look too afraid last night with Alfred whacking him off," I said. "He looked down right anxious to get on with it."

"It's not what you think," Timmy said. "It's not any of your business who he does what with. It don't bother me, why should it bother you?"

"It's exactly what I think," Doug said. "I know what's going on. You can pretend he cares about you, but he don't. He's got an itch you scratch for him. That's all. He isn't about to care one way or another about you."

"Yeah, well that's my problem now isn't it? I'll come by later if you still want me," Timmy said, looking down at his feet like he'd done something wrong and got caught at it. "I mean he'll only be here an hour or so."

"You're my friend. You're always welcome at my house. Besides, it's going to be boring tonight. Don't let him fuck with your head."

"Thanks, Doug. You're a real friend. Martin, sorry. I had a good time with you. You're nice. I thought you were weird at first, but you're okay. You need a little work on your bowling though. I'm available after school if you want me to teach you."

I wondering what he meant by weird.

"I'd be scared I'd end up looking like you when I bowled," I said, smiling at his dazzling eyes. "It's not pretty, Timmy. I'd rather bowl like Doug if he'll teach me."

"Well, you're cool anyway. My technique is really a secret I've sworn not to expose."

"Good thing," I said. "You're cool too, Timmy. It was fun getting to know you."

He ran up to the front door and disappeared into the house.

*****

"So you want lessons. I didn't think you liked bowling. You only bowled one game."

"My foot was sore."

"Yeah, those balls hurt. We can bowl after school if you like."

"I'd like that."

"You've got to do it regular to learn anything."

"Yeah, cool."

"Okay," Doug said.

*****

"You hungry?" Doug asked as we went into the kitchen.

"Yeah, all that exercise."

"You see the way he shoots golf. Boy's a walking disaster."

"How can you be so casual with all you know about him? Doesn't it ever cross your mind?"

"Timmy, he's a good guy. You know how many really good guys there are? What I know don't have nothin' to do with him being my friend. He's just trying to figure it all out, Martin. I figure we're all tryin' to figure it all out. I got enough trouble keeping my own life under control. Not much time to worry about if Timmy is doing it right or not."

"Tommy?"

"There you go again. He's got a thing for Tommy. They're friends. What, I should tell them they can't be friends?"

"Herbie?"

Doug looked up at my face from his perch in front of the fridge. There was an entire book in the look he gave me. He seemed to be thinking about something beyond what had been said.

"You talk too much. You really don't want to know what you're asking about. You might think you do, but you don't."

"Yeah, I suppose. I just don't know what's going on. I mean I get to thinking I'm starting to understand, and then Timmy takes off on us to be with a guy that goes out of his way to cut him down. And everybody seems to love Herbie. What's with that?"

"I can see how you could get confused. A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing. Anything we talk about has got to stay inside this house, Martin. Guys can't be running their mouths about what they know about other guys."

"Tell me about it," I said. "I just want to know enough not to feel like a fool all the time. I mean I don't care who's doing what with which, but it seems to get more complicated as it goes along."

"Okay, Timmy loves Tommy, or at least he thinks he does. Tommy just gets what he wants off Timmy because Timmy gives it up in a minute. Herbie, well, Herbie is hard to explain, Martin. He's kewl, you know. There's no one like him. He can make you feel great when you're down and he's always glad to see you. He knows everything and he still doesn't let it bother him. He's just glad to be with you when he's with you. If it weren't for Herbie I'd be nuts by now."

"How so?"

"My freakin' brother's a pervert if you haven't noticed. I've been dealing with that fact since I was nine. Mostly I've had to deal with the friends he keeps bringing around. They get the idea they can take what they want off me because I'm Greg's brother. I've had my share of difficulties because of it."

"Herbie?"

"Is that the only word you know? Herbie rescues me. He cares about me. I care about him. I guess of everyone I know, I like Herbie most. He's never let me down and he's always picking me up, protecting me from the assholes following my brother around."

"Assholes! You dare to suggest that my fans are assholes. Little brother of mine, you be treading on the thin ice here," Greg bellowed as he came into the kitchen, pushing me to one side and bumping Doug out of the refrigerator door.

"You jerk," Doug said, leaning back against the sink.

It was obvious there was no match between the two boys. Greg was half again the size of Doug with his squared off shoulders and puffed out chest and arms.

"You should be careful what you talk about, little brother. I wouldn't want Martin to get the wrong idea."

"How could he. He's seen you in action. He knows you're an asshole. We try to dress you up, but people can see for themselves."

Greg slammed the door and his back tensed as he started to turn.

"Where's that fucking sandwich. I got to make it myself or what?" Herbie said as he bounced into the room to put his arm over Doug's shoulder and lean back against the sink with him as Greg turned around.

It was a somewhat comic scene, this too long, too skinny kid, protecting Doug from Greg's wraith. He stood there hugging Doug as Greg did an obvious slow burn. He could have taken Herbie out with one punch, half a punch, but he didn't. He seemed to calm quickly.

"Get your own sandwich, asshole. I ain't no maid," Greg said, storming out but casting a harsh glance at me as he went.

"Tell me more about my ability to protect you, Douglas", Herbie mewed. "I never get to hear enough of that kind of thing. I don't think I'm appreciated nearly enough, do you? Tell me I'm your hero."

"No," Doug said, smiling from ear to ear, placing his face in the middle of Herbie's chest and hugging him firmly.

"Don't be telling all my business to Martin, Dougie, I still haven't given up the idea he might be powerless under my spell," Herbie said, looking over his shoulder at me. "So, is he a nice guy or not?"

"Yeah, he's kewl. Just not too sure about us yet, and everyone's powerless under your spell, Stretch. Your only problem is you're too horny for your own good. Other than that you're perfect for such an old fart."

"Moi? Moi? How thy doth cut me too deep, Douglas. You want to fool around? It's still two hours before my date. That would give me time for Martin when we're done."

"No, I've got company and he hasn't been initiated yet. He still thinks I'm fairly normal," Doug said. "Let's don't let him know the truth just yet. Maybe I can keep him as a friend."

"As you wish my handsome young prince. I'll get back to you two later if the girl doesn't put out for me."

"Herbie!"

"He does seem a bit innocent for this crew. How'd you hook up with him?"

"Greg brought him around for pool. I interrupted them before Greg got him all the way around the world."

"Too bad! I mean, that's good. He don't know what he missed."

"Herbie!"

"Well, he doesn't. Boy's got a gift."

"Herbie!"

"He can't be all that innocent if he came back after last night. Innocent still, perhaps, but me thinks he is looking for something he ain't going to be a findin' in no Sunday School. Are you looking for something they don't offer you at church, Martin."

"Yes, I am. What's the meaning of life," I said, feeling suddenly drawn into the drama Herbie brought with him to the kitchen.

I found his lazy blue eyes on me as he carefully checked the way I hung loose and partially aroused in my pants. The smile told me what he was thinking about when he went from down there to my face, checking to see if I was aware of what it was he was looking for.

"Come, my son. Let me explain it to you."

Herbie reached out one arm to collect me into this embracing cocoon. The three of us stood there hugging for several minutes. Speech seemed needless. The feel of it was good. Herbie's hand collected my backside and pulled me into him so that my now erect penis was rubbing his thigh. He kissed my neck and held me firmly like that.

"Give me a fucking break. You can't fuck everyone, Herbie. There are too many of them," Greg growled from the door as he watched Herbie's hand on my ass.

"Yes, yes, one must start somewhere, however. This sure is a nice place to begin. Maybe I'll just stay in tonight, Gregor. The ladies can live without my contribution for one evening, and these boys need me, as you can plainly see."

"Come on, Herb, time to split. You can play with them later."

"Sorry, children, I must be going. Don't eat all the bologna and leave me some of that orange sherbet. Don't wait up for us, kids. I am anticipating an evening of uninhibited bliss - hers of course."

"Right, it's Ben's sister and we're in his wagon. I don't think you're going to get to first base if you want to be riding home," Greg said.

"That's what they all say. I am irresistible to the female of the species."

"Right!" Greg said, "Get you're ass in gear will you."

Greg's hand slid across my ass as he passed me. He didn't look at me to see what my reaction was. The backdoor slammed and I could hear the crunch of the gravel under their feet as they moved down the horseshoe drive toward the old highway.

*****

Doug and I played some pool and left the basement to a couple of Greg's friends who showed up around dark. They'd brought beer and a cooler that they put under the stairs on the stacks of papers. I had been waiting for George to show up for obvious reasons, but he never did. We retreated out of the basement and took refuge in that little television room at the end of the hall. Doug pulled the bed out and we watched television after eating the pizza he'd promised to order.

Timmy showed up with a long face about nine o'clock. He pulled off his shoes and socks and climbed onto the bed with us as we watched a movie. He didn't have much to say even when we went into the kitchen at eleven to raid what was left of the good stuff before Greg and Herbie returned from their evening out.

We could hear guys in the basement but we didn't venture down to see who was there. No one had come near the television room and we figured we were better off not interacting with the partygoers. After fixing several sandwiches a piece we retreated back to our hideaway with icy cups of soda and the final bag of Greg's Ruffles.

"What happened?" Doug asked between bites of his crunchy sandwich.

"He can't come over any more. He's got a new girlfriend and he doesn't think it would be right. He just wanted me to know why he wasn't coming around."

"Where was she last night?" I asked. "Probably has a girlfriend, huh?"

"Who cares?" Timmy said. "Why are you making a big deal about it. It doesn't bother me."

"He does this about once a month," Doug said. "He couldn't like call you and tell you he's doesn't need you for awhile, or was there a parting gift somewhere in the conversation?"

"It's not what you think. We only did it because I made him feel guilty and pushed him to do it," Timmy said, certain of the event in his own mind.

"You pushed him? Like you said, if you don't screw me I'm going to beat you up."

"Shut up! I got him going. You know how he is once you get him hard. Then he's right after it until he cums. I just rubbed it for awhile and we ended up in my bed after that. That's why I'm late."

"He couldn't break away before you got him going? I mean, didn't he have to get over to his girlfriends so she could save him from you?" Doug asked.

"He said he was going to go there after he left me. I just made sure he didn't have anything left to give her tonight."

"You overpowered him," I suggested. "Forced yourself on him?"

"No, he could kick my ass easy. I've been knowin' him since we were ten. It's not like I don't know how to get my way. He's toast when he comes over if I want it."

"So you got what you wanted and in a couple weeks he'll be tired of this new one or she'll be tired of him," Doug said.

"Yeah, I know. I worry about him," Timmy said.

"Why?" I asked.

"He's my friend. He's confused. I hope he finds a girl to fall in love with. I wish that he could be happy. He's so damn mad at himself every time we finish. He always swears he won't let it happen again, then he comes over and I can't leave him alone, and we start all over again. I wish I were stronger. I wish I didn't love him. He really doesn't like doing that."

"You do?" Doug said, sounding surprised.

"No!" Timmy confessed. "I'm too selfish to leave him alone."

"Takes two to play hide the sausage," I said, repeating something I'd heard straight guys say at school.

Timmy's glare was not a pleasant thing. He didn't say anything else and occupied himself with more of his sandwich and some stupid show that was now on the television. I hoped for another Outer Limits marathon and watched the other two boys eat.

I fell asleep some time before midnight and woke up when Greg and Herbie and some other guys were in the kitchen raiding the fridge. They all sounded drunk and they stayed clear of us. It sounded like they went down to the basement once they'd gotten all the food they wanted.

One time I woke up and Timmy was hugging up against me and this made me feel good. I fell back to sleep with the most comforting feeling running through me. Later on I woke up and both Doug and Timmy were cuddled up to me, one on each side. It was pretty neat. I just drank it in and enjoyed the feel of having two friends so close to me.

When I dreamed, I saw us bowling and having a good time together. I remembered the way Timmy's arms and legs could go in all different directions simultaneously when he let loose of the bowling ball. I also remember the lack of touch he had with his golf ball. It had been a wonderful day for me.

The dreams made me smile and I felt really good about my life.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 12

Disarmed

My sleep was restless. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable. I was probably more comfortable than I'd ever been, being in a bed with two boys I was growing more and more fond of. Doug had caught my eye as quick as he'd come into my sight. If not for Greg and how he'd gotten to me, Doug would have been all that was on my mind. I wasn't at all surprised to wake up with him in my arms. That is to say that I was surprised he was in my arms but not surprised I was holding him, if that makes any sense at all.

My only regret was that we hadn't agreed to get naked before going to sleep. It was something I could have said to Doug and he'd have understood, but we'd been watching television and talking and the next thing I knew we were all sleeping there together.

Having Doug in my arms was wonderful but I couldn't help but want more from him than the comforting feeling he furnished me. I didn't think he'd be too disappointed in me if I tried to get with him in a friendlier way. He knew what was going on as well as I did. We'd all put ourselves in close proximity while there was sex all around us. I'd seen both Timmy and Doug with Herbie and it was obvious they were well acquainted with one another.

That knowledge didn't get me beyond what I felt for Doug. I didn't want to jump into sex with him. My feelings went beyond what I'd seen other guys doing. There was a difference between satisfying the craving that ate at the lower parts of my stomach, which then made everything focus in on my dick. Doug's focus was maybe three feet higher up. His smell, the feel of him, the way he smiled, and how his eyes held me in their warm gaze, all worked at making me want to be Doug's friend. Holding him wasn't enough at that moment, not because he wasn't enough but because I wanted to know far more about him before we got around to exploring one another's secrets.

Doug was a keeper.

I held him for a long time after I woke up. I fought off sleep until the idea of it was gone. After a while I was becoming a bit too daring with my hands and I made myself stop. Respecting Doug was important and violating that trust would put him off me in some ways. I wasn't sure in what way but the idea was enough to get me up and out of the bed.

Timmy was facing the other way and sleeping like a log. I stood over the bed and watched them both for a few minutes. How come I'd never met boys like this before? Were we just a passing fancy for one another, in which case we'd move on to something else soon, or was this more than that?

I'd always stayed within myself. That hadn't changed. While I easily got out of control once I got close to something sexual, that didn't worry me. This house was all about sex and boys having it. I could do dangerous things and realize there was going to be little said because if one of us went down, could the other's be far behind? No, there was a certain security in the abundance of the commodity and the need for relief the boys had built, depending on one another to take care of that need

I went to the kitchen and the fridge was almost empty. I found a ½ gallon bottle of orange juice in the back on the bottom shelf, but it furnished me with only two swigs before it ran dry. There were open beers all around and a big bottle of Cola open on the middle of the table with maybe an inch of liquid in the bottom. It was hot and flat and I settled for a glass of water after awhile. Feeling a dry empty thirst inside me, I decided to look for something else to satisfy it.

When I walked into the living room, Herbie was lying flat on his back on the couch. He was naked and his dick was standing straight up out of the small black patch he sported. It obscured no more than a half an inch of his shaft. His left foot was tucked under his right knee and a small white towel was all that was between him and total nudity, but it was up between his stomach and chest and hid nothing I was interested in seeing.

I could hear the heavy even breathing that I recognized from my encounter with George. I approached the couch with but one thing in mind. I didn't need to lean over to touch it. It stood in the air for the taking and that puppy seemed even longer than I remembered with nothing but his thin body to compare it to. I let my fingers feel it as one of his legs slipped off the cushion and onto the floor. A slight moan interrupted my feel. He grew still and I grasped it again, letting my fingers slide all the way down the shaft and back up to just below the modest head.

I felt hot and short of breath while trying to discern the difference between touching George's hard prick and Herbie's. George's had been thicker and not as solid as Herbie's steel rod. I closed my eyes and felt all of it a second time, smelling an odor that came from the region. I put one hand on the back of the couch and leaned to get a closer look and smell.

His fingers were around my wrist before I knew it. His hips pushed upward and it slid through my fingers yet a third time. It scared me until I realized he was still sleeping, only holding my wrist so he could use my hand for his own purpose. When I squeezed gently, he moaned a long and low sound while his dick twitched.

"Okay," he said without meaning anything. His hips pushed up against my fist again, easier, slower, not as purposeful as the earlier thrust. My heart pounded as I felt his most sensitive part before he rolled onto his side and then onto his stomach. His ass raised up in the air as he pushed his dick between the cushions on the couch and moaned again, turning his head toward the back of the couch he was fast asleep. Even when my fingers felt his crack and hole, he didn't move.

I used my middle finger more ardently as I poked the spot. His ass again rose up as he humped between the cushions, moaning and showing no signs of alarm until my finger broke through that tightest of holes. Herbie started to wake up and I moved back out of the living room before he rolled onto his back. He was interesting but not in the way Greg or Doug or even Timmy were interesting.

Herbie was different. He felt different in my hand, smelled different to my nose, and he thought differently than anyone else. I didn't think letting Herbie catch me fondling him was a smart idea. While I was sure he was harmless, I was also sure he got what he wanted if he knew something about you that you didn't want anyone else to know. I thought of what I'd been holding and could not conceive him putting it up my ass. Herbie would be okay for some things but there was no high charge coming off him. He was available when no one else was, and that made him far less interesting to me.

When I passed the doorway to the upstairs, I had no intention of going up to see whom Greg was with, but then I hesitated, thinking of the pool game and the feel of the felt on my naked skin. I wondered if Greg was even there. Before I knew it I was carefully easing up the steps as they creaked softly under my modest weight. When I stood on the top step, I was looking at him. He was face down on his bed and a beer can had spilled on the floor beside his arm. I mopped it up with his T-shirt and put it with four more beer cans that stood near the others near the head of his bed.

I found myself looking at the full firm buttocks that was filling the white fabric of his briefs. He did not move. His face rested on the bend of his right elbow. His mouth was slightly a gap. There was spittle between his gorgeous lips and arm. The breathing was deep and even. The morning light had just come above the windowsill as the sun rose in the bright sky and cast its golden rays upon his golden skin. It was going to be a nice day.

I felt the back of his underwear and he didn't move. I felt the skin on the back of his legs, pushing my fingers up between them, feeling up between his legs. I rubbed the cloth behind his balls and it grew ever harder as my hand lingered there. I used my other hand on his back and his skin was cool and amazing to the touch.

I kneeled down beside his bed and place my face on his backside and closed my eyes and smelled him. I put my mouth on the material where I knew his secret spot was, and I blew hot air between his cheeks. The fabric was wet from the slobber I furnished. He did not move and I pushed both of my hands under him to find it. He was hard but it was no surprise to me. I imagined it would be no other way. I felt it and pulled his ass at my mouth and blew more hot air while squeezing his potent presence in my fingers. He still didn't move.

I slowly peeled down the fabric off his hips. I stood over him staring down at the crevice. I leaned forward and kissed that hot silken flesh, inhaling him. I kneeled behind him and reached under him to peel his undershorts off his engorged dick. It felt full and hard and raged with lust as my fingers pulled, yanked, and squeezed its hardness. I placed my mouth on his crack while gently stroking his prick, kissing everything I could reach without using my hands to spread the cheeks wide apart.

When I had begun to blow more hot air, he started to raise his ass onto my lips. He groaned and moaned like some animal in heat. I stroked him faster as I let my tongue penetrate into the depths of the crevice, using his new positioning to get my tongue exactly where he wanted it most. Once there, he held himself up by his arms and leaned back on my mouth so I could reach anything I wanted.

He growled some inaudible curse and seemed caught between the two pleasures, not knowing if he should thrust forward into my fists, or push backward onto my tongue. I didn't much care as his delirium had me ready to erupt in my own frenzy of fire. I'd never experienced any intensity like this before not even on his pool table or in-between George's legs. After a few minutes he rested as much on his knees as on his arms, and it became easier to give him the attention on the spot that had aroused this new desire in him.

He had become immobilized and just hung there, letting me have my way with him. The sounds he made were the only signs of life, except for the life that filled my hands and now dripped out his approval and appreciation for what he was receiving. He was magnificent for all of five minutes, until he collapsed back onto his stomach, moaning one long loud moan as I kept my mouth pasted to him even after he had passed out. I wrested my hands free since I could no longer jerk him off. He lay face down for a time and then half rolled onto his left side, spreading apart his legs enough for me to easily reach what we'd both become accustomed to me reaching.

His dick swelled again as soon as I got my hands around it, and this time I used it to force his ass harder onto my mouth. I alternated blowing hot air and poking my tongue at his bottom end, lavishing lovely licks on his most desirous of spots. Even seeming almost unconscious, he responded to each increase in passion, pumping out precum all over my fingers while he wiggled himself firmly onto my mouth. There were a few grunts and groans as I held him in place with the only part of him strong enough to support our churning weight.

"Eat me," he growled in the first words I understood. They startled me when he said them, but not enough to convince me he'd had enough or all I wanted to give him. I squeezed his balls hard with one hand and his dick with the other, twisting and turning them mercilessly as my tongue penetrated the tight ring. He winced, thrusting his ass hard against the assault without complaint or making any attempt to escape my torment.

"Let me," he said, seeming to flounder in my grip. Let him what I wondered. He seemed unable to finish or to explain. I continued on with my duty to him, wishing only to bring him pain or pleasure or both. I squeezed hard again and this time he rolled up completely onto his side, seeming off balance because his briefs were caught between his knee and his feet. He stared down seeming to know he'd done this before without so much difficulty but he was unable to fathom the depth of the problem.

I scooted out of his way and down toward the foot of the bed, yanking off his briefs as I went. He once again rolled completely up on his side. With his eyes blinking open and shut he kept them on me. There was a vague recognition at one point but he had nothing else to say as he pressed his backside firmly against the wall, cutting me off from the source of all pleasure he'd let me come to know that evening. It wasn't something I'd soon forget, but he seemed intent on ending it there.

His eyes stayed open and on me but his mouth stayed shut. It was a huge improvement when it came to things I knew about what Greg had to say. I leaned forward and kissed the head of his still inflamed passion. It's what he wanted me to do most that first time, when I wouldn't. Maybe he could forgive me my improprieties if I gave him what he wanted, although with the way he had responded to my mouth didn't give any hint that he disapproved of what I had made him feel.

There was no sense taking any chances, since it didn't seem like we were going to have an intellectual discussion about the pros and cons of licking ass that night. I wanted to lick something exciting. I'd know soon enough if I wouldn't be asked back because I was too good at the things he liked boys to do to him. I wasn't going to pass up what might be my best chance at getting what I wanted from Greg.

I used my tongue in a similar way as I had on his reverse side and on just the head, licking and nibbling at the cleft, the slit, all around his fat gland. I noticed liquid on my lips, sticky and sweet as I worked at the very tip of him. He seemed unable to move and he watched me working on him vigorously, paying little heed to him at the same time.

His lips parted and I could see his chest starting to heave like it did that day on the pool table when I got to him in a way he hadn't expected me too. I remembered twice we'd almost kissed and yet each time we pulled back, let the world keep us apart. I continued giving him the attention he had so badly wanted that day. I was careful to drench my lips in the excitement I'd found at the tip of his dick, and with his eyes on me I leaned up to his face and put my lips on his as his eyes followed my movements.

He had control of our first get together, and this time I was the one in control. When I got done with him the score would be even up after two encounters in my estimation. I didn't care if he remembered or not. I would remember. It would be easier if he did remember. It would be better for me if he didn't. I would accept the outcome as readily as I accepted what he offered me in the way of excitement and discovery.

His breath rushed into my mouth as my lips felt all of his lips. They were rich and thick with passion. I felt guilty stealing the kiss I'd thought about since our pool game. He'd set it up and he took what he wanted that day and he threw away the rest, but he wouldn't so easily rid himself of this toy. I held his face and kissed him for all I was worth, without knowing what a kiss was.

I felt his tongue moving on my tongue and I kissed him as he breathed my breath. My arms were around him as I kissed him again and again, his nakedness pushed hard against me. I left my clothes on. I had no need to put my naked flesh on his yet. I wanted it this way so it didn't end too swiftly.

As his mouth became familiar to me I broke off the kiss and slid down his chest and stomach and swallowed the top of him. His hips responded weakly and his hands touched my face as I sucked. I once more wet my lips in his dripping juices and I could see his stomach tightening and quivering as his hands held the side of my head so I didn't desert him in his hour of need. I felt him tightening, causing me to give him all I knew how to give. When the precum started to become thick and oozed freely, I pulled my mouth away, tasting his cum for just long enough to know the taste of him.

I backed off the erupting cock, letting my hand lead for the rest of the dance. His body was twitching and twisting, as my hand pumped frantically to maintain his pleasure for as long as possible. I moved my body back in against him as he gave up his last bit of control. Pressing my coated lips back against his, he seemed reluctant to accept them again. Two, three, spasms jerked through his body as his tongue met mine. This brought on a wanton lust which rose up to fill his kisses, and we shared that first squirt of his orgasm all over again.

He was breathing hard when I broke off the long kiss so he could have some air all his own. I had the result of our togetherness running down the leg of my pants. His eyes were closed as he breathed deep and even. I thought, perhaps he's going back to sleep. I leaned back admiring his handsome face and wishing we had more.

When I started to get off the bed, his hand grabbed me in a most delicate place. When I got back to his face his eyes were again piercing into me. He squeezed me hard and as though it wasn't already hard, it got even harder as he twisted my desire for him. I was afraid it would be the last I saw of it, but the grip did not increase, it only moved in a different direction, giving me an uneasy feeling down in my soul.

Each time he twisted I winced and leaned closer so the pain wasn't as intense. It was then I understood where I was. Another squeeze only served to heighten the attention I was giving him. When he pulled hard toward him, I couldn't keep my lips off his. How stupid was that? He was about to rupture me and I had to have just one more kiss. It was crazy even to me but I was kissing him and kissing him again.

As our lips joined the heat was rising up from where his hand held me. Nothing he did was all that rough, just rough enough to keep me inflamed and not quite rough enough to finish me off. The feel of his mouth on mine ignited me beyond anything I'd ever known. His grip on my cock and the way he twisted and pulled was enough to get me the rest of the way there, and before I knew it I was going some place it never occurred to me I needed to go.

It seemed surreal to think Greg would be taking me there. The sensation was unmistakable and though my life was totally wrapped up in the kisses that very moment, my body had other ideas about what we were doing. There was nothing left to do but give into the idea he was doing for me what I had only moments ago done for him.

No, he wasn't going to get down between my legs and eat his way to my satisfaction, nor did I expect him to and I didn't expect him to care if I went away needing to be the source of my own satisfaction. At the same time I had seen how little Greg gave to those he demanded the most from. He never showed any sign that he was capable of sharing or caring or even that he was aware of those things.

It made me feel that there was more to this than what I'd seen, and I had been disappointed by him before. I knew this was all part of my mind and not necessarily part of his. I wanted him and needed him and I wanted him to want to be with me, but I had no feeling he did. He could take or leave what he pleased. Whatever was happening was a reaction and not by any scheme or plan. We had reacted to one another like the chemicals in my chemistry class. It was at best unpredictable past the knowledge there would be a reaction.

I still didn't know that this was more than a drunken fit of passion he would little remember later that day but at least we had this between us. I'd never known anything as good and I'd never had a better night.

We had finally finished what had been started on the pool table downstairs.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 13

Ever After

The days had been growing warmer as we got deeper into spring. I left Greg's house. The feel of the crisp morning air stimulated me. There was a clean smell in the undisturbed air of the new day. I walked along Old Highway until I came to El Rancho where I intended to waste some time before I walked home. I didn't want to arrive so early that it brought suspicion to my parents.

Blazing new trails had made me less secure with what was happening inside me. Feeling drawn back to Greg in spite of knowing better and pledging not to let it happen had me angry with myself. Greg wasn't the kind of guy I even liked and yet, every time I got close to him, I could not resist his arrogant charm. This was the most confusing piece of the equation. What was it about Greg that kept him coming back to mind?

My brain whirled around a thousand miles a minute in school Monday. I skipped the shower after gym, realizing that every time Greg came to mind, my mind gave rise to other things. I once again resolved to stay away from Greg, but I already doubted that I could. If I stayed away from him than I had to stay away from Doug and I didn't want to stay away from Doug. I didn't know exactly what Doug thought about me, but I thought he was something else, and I couldn't figure out why I didn't have the thoughts about Doug that I had about Greg. I liked him more than I liked Greg. I wasn't sure I liked Greg at all.

I left school Monday and went right home. I was surprised to see Doug and Alfred walking toward me as I went down the street to my house. I stood and watched as they came toward me.

"Hey, long time no see," I said.

"He wanted to know where you lived. I brung him over," Alfred said. "Boy I was drunk the last time I saw you."

"A little," I said.

"You wanted to know where I lived?" I said delighted, looking into Doug's sleepy blue eyes.

"Yeah, you know where I live. I figured knowing where you lived was cool."

"You never came over before," I said to Alfred.

"Never thought you wanted me down here. It's not like we've been butt buddies or anything."

"No, it's not like that," I said. "Want a Coke?"

"Yeah," Doug said. "You sure it's okay?"

"Me too?" Alfred asked.

"Of course you too. I'm glad you came over," I said to Alfred. He looked at me funny like he wasn't sold on that one and he waited for me to look back at Doug. I was glad he had brought Doug over.

We all sat in the kitchen where my father would prepare dinner in another hour. I wanted them to stay but I knew I had to get them out of there to avoid complicating my life. Our conversation didn't exactly flow.

"Your parents get home okay?" I asked.

"Yes," Doug said.

"Everything was okay. The house wasn't too messed up?"

"It's always too messed up after we're there alone for a few days. Mom does the recreation room and I clean up the television room. Greg has to get all the booze and his buddies out of the house before they come home. He dumps the booze bottles and empties across the street at the Episcopal Church."

"Nice touch," I said.

"Convenient of them to put the dumpsters near the road."

"Let's go up to El Rancho. I need a chili fries fix. I ain't et since lunch," Alfred said.

We worked our way up the gravel road and turned onto Old Highway. It was three quarters of a mile to El Rancho and a quarter mile back to Doug's. I bought the Cokes on account I didn't have an appetite at lunch and saved my two bucks. Alfred ordered the house special, chili fries, and he sat at the counter to talk to Joe.

"Did Greg say anything about me?" I asked, wanting to know if I was in trouble with the king.

"You! He doesn't know you're alive, Martin. You don't want to get started with my brother. You'll be sorry if you do."

"I know," I said. "I just wondered if he had said anything."

"You're too nice to be taking up with him. There are lots of nice guys you can like. I don't know what anyone sees in my brother? He's a total asswipe most of the time."

"Yeah, he is," I said.

"Timmy's nice."

"Yeah," I said. "Tommy."

"Lost cause. He's more fucked up than Greg."

"How's that?"

"Doesn't want it and can't leave it alone. He's Catholic."

"What's that mean?"

"He doesn't want to go to hell."

"I should hope not."

"He's got this thing he's doing with Timmy. I don't know why Timmy puts up with it. He comes over to his house and they always end up doing it. Then Tommy blames Timmy for making him do it. A few days later he's back crying on Timmy's shoulder about the way his old man treats him."

"Bummer," I said.

"Timmy says they're friends and he can't stop seeing him."

"Maybe they are," I said. "Maybe you just don't understand their friendship. Everyone isn't like everyone else that way, you know," I said, philosophizing as best I could and sipping on my Coke as I stared at his face.

"You're right. Timmy's like you. He's too nice. People use him."

"That why you are warning me about your brother?"

"Yeah, I know how he fucks with new guys, Martin."

"No, I mean on account we're friends?"

My fishing expedition was crude. Doug stared at me for a few seconds. I think he was going over our conversation. He sipped his Coke while we looked at each other.

"I suppose that's right. We don't know each other real well, you know, but I'd say we are friends. I asked you to come with us next weekend. I don't usually ask anyone because of my asshole brother. Kent used to come but he doesn't now."

"Greg going to like me coming along?"

"Oh, that's what you meant about him saying anything. I thought you meant...."

I waited for Doug to finish but that was it. I didn't know what he thought I meant and I wasn't sure I should confirm it for him. I let it go for the time being.

"I ask who I want. He asks who he wants. It's all good. We don't get into each other's friendships."

"Why doesn't this Kent go any more?"

"I'm not sure. Something happened one time. Greg and Kent won't stay in the same room together now. Neither one of them will tell me what's up with that. When I ask Kent to come along, he just says, no thanks."

"He a good friend of yours?"

"The best. He's Herbie's brother," Doug said, glancing at me to see my reaction..

"Your best friend is related to Herbie? I was hoping he was an only child."

"He's nothing like Herbie. Everyone likes Kent. He's like Herbie but he isn't. Kent's handsome and he knows when to quit."

"Herbie doesn't?"

"That's an understatement. I mean Herbie's like totally cool, but some times enough is too much if you know what I mean. He knows how to get what he wants and if it don't work right off, he just keeps at you if you know what I mean."

"I think I do," I said.

"I'm not sure you do but it's not something I want to talk about."

"Your parents mind you dragging kids along?"

"They want to know who we're running around with. This way they get to see them over a period of time and they know if they want me hanging with them or not."

"What if they don't?"

"They say so."

"Does that mean you can't hang with someone if they say so?"

"No, it's not like that. If they don't like someone they'll say not to trust them or to be careful not to let them talk me into something I know better than to do."

"What do they say about Greg?"

"He is the Prince, Martin. How do you think he got that way? They encourage him. I mean he is cool in a lot of ways, it's just that him and Herbie's got on this sex kick, and they just encourage each other. Greg isn't like a total perv. He usually knows when enough is enough if he don't drink too much."

"Herbie?"

"Herbie hasn't stopped since the first time he found his pee-pee," Doug said, shaking his head.

"I like him," I said.

"Everybody does. That's the curse. Sooner or later he'll work up to it. You don't know these guys, Martin. You think you're in control, but sex can be a powerful attraction once you try it."

"What makes you think I haven't already done it?" I asked.

"I just have a hunch on it. You're way too innocent for one thing."

"...And what do your parents think about you?"

"I'm the apple of their eye. I don't have any ranking in the kingdom but my parents love me best. Greg sucks up most of the spotlight but it isn't my thing. It has never been my thing. I prefer being the strong silent type. I stay out of trouble that way."

"You are," I said.

"I are what?"

"The strong silent type. You observe everything and you pretty much know what's going on. You don't try to make anyone else see it your way. That's cool."

"Yeah, and if I don't want to get in trouble I better start home. I got to do potatoes and carrots before supper time."

"Do them?"

"Peel them. I'll see you later, Alfred," Doug said, standing and moving toward the door.

"Yeah, Alfred, good seeing you. Come around any time," I said, following Doug.

We walked out onto the main road. A horn blew in my ear as we got on the south side of the highway. I waited for the noise to stop but the baby blue Ford Galaxy jerked onto the shoulder of the road directly in front of us. Doug took off running toward the car.

"Come on, Martin. It's my mom."

I didn't come on but they didn't move until I got up beside the car.

"Get in. I shall take you home, Doug's friend," she said in a delightfully friendly voice not like any other mother I'd ever known.

"I'm Martin. You don't need to do that. Just drop me in front of your house. I live just across the highway."

"Yeah! He lives in the Heights. Up the gravel road and then the second right," Doug said as though she'd know where it was.

"Okay. Come on. You can get off at our house," she said, and we were on the way in a flash and before I got the door shut.

"How's your day, Douglas?" She said just as delightfully as before.

"Fine, mom. Just walked up to El Rancho with Martin."

"How's Kent, Douglas. We don't see much of him any more."

"Fine. Busy as usual."

"How's Herbert? I noticed all the Pistachio ice cream was gone. He must have spent the weekend, huh? "

"Yeah! Crazy as ever, mom. Boy's a walking spaz attack, looking for a place to happen. I wonder if he'll ever grow up."

"Cut it out, Douglas. Herbert's just a little uncoordinated and immature. He's fine. He'll grow out of it one day."

"Right, mom. Just like the Hunchback of Notre Dame grew out of his hump. Herbie's defective. You know they all have that gene."

"Judge not less you be judged, my dear little one. That gene will come in handy when those boys get married. They're just too young to know what to do with it right now. That's all. They'll grow out of it and they'll both grow into fine young men."

"Either that or sex fiends," Doug said.

"Here we are, Martin. Won't you come in for a Coke? I'm sure we have some Coke hidden somewhere so we didn't run out. That okay by you, Douglas? Can Martin come in."

"Sure. Martin's cool. He goes to school with Gregie."

"Oh! You mean Greg has some normal friends? Is this the one going with us this weekend?"

"Yeah, he's the one. I think that maybe Martin and I are becoming friends. Martin hasn't gotten around to worshipping his kingship yet. I don't think he's too impressed."

"Well good. At least there are some nice people at that school, and Greg is easiest when taken in small doses, Martin. He can be a bit much but he's a good boy."

"A bit, mom," Doug said as we got out of the car.

Greg passed the kitchen as Doug and I talked near the fridge.

"What's he doing here?" Greg said without any particular fondness in his voice.

"Mom asked him? She picked us up on the highway. She road us home."

"You didn't get enough of a good thing this weekend, Martin," Greg said, staring at me as I was checking out his body. He had on a tight pair of dark blue silk shorts and no shirt and from the looks of it, no underwear. He came in and opened the door of the fridge and reached in for a plastic bottle. His thigh was touching my crotch as I stood fast with his shoulder in my face. I inhaled and remembered his smell. There was the smell of sex on his skin.

He looked awesome and his smile dazzled me in a way that made me lose track of where I was. He stayed pressed against me as Doug leaned on the sink and watched our dance. Greg's eyes stayed on mine while he drank.

"It's my kitchen," he said unyielding, moving me away from him with his elbow and I could see the front of the shorts starting to poke out. My mouth went dry and my eyes were fixed on the rising silk.

"Yeah," I said, looking at the cut of his chest before finding his eyes again.

I nervously wondered if he had any memory of what I'd done to him. He put the bottle up to his lips again. I remembered our first kiss. They had been my first lips. He offered me the bottle before and when my eyes went back to his crotch, his fingers pulled the silk around the bulge as he watched me watch him play with it. I just stood there like some dufus, taking anything he gave me. I handled the bottle back to him after I took a drink.

"You get enough?" he asked, and I wasn't sure he meant the water.

"Yeah, hit the spot," I said, feeling the heat building in that small space where the three of us stood."

"At least you don't leave teeth marks on the bottle." Greg turned his back on me and started to walk toward the dinning room. Doug stared at me and an inquisitive look came over his face.

"And why haven't I met Martin before, Gregie," their mother said as she passed the doorway as he was coming out of it.

"Careful planning, mother dear," Greg said. "We're not close. Martin's different."

"Maybe you should be close. He's a nice boy. Better than some of those characters that follow you around. I don't think Martin would follow so easily."

"You just don't know about a thing like that," Greg said. "Some guys you just never know about, but that's why doors have locks."

I wondered if she had any idea the affect Greg had on the boys that followed him around or what he did to them? He turned toward the television room when he left the doorway. I tried to see the front of his shorts as he moved but he was too fast for me, and I was left to face Doug. I knew there was a blush in my cheeks and a rise in my jeans, but it wasn't like I had given away anything he didn't already know or strongly suspect.

I liked Doug a lot but I wanted Greg even more than that. I don't know why but his scent was still in my nostrils and he smelled just like fresh sex. I wondered what he had been up to while I was with Alfred and Doug. I wondered who had been there before we got there.

"Don't take him too seriously. He takes care of that himself," Doug said. "Want something to drink besides his private water? I got to get started on the peelin' if I don't want to catch it."

"I've got to get home anyway," I said. "Thanks Doug."

"For what? I didn't do anything."

"You came over. We went out this afternoon. I enjoyed it. You're cool."

"But not as cool as... me too," he said, digging in the cupboard under the sink and loading a pan with potatoes. "Maybe I'll catch you tomorrow."

"That would be okay," I said, watching him walk onto the back porch and plop down on an old rickety looking kitchen chair.

"Bye" I yelled as the backdoor slammed. Mostly it was for his mother but I hoped Greg heard me too. I checked the windows for any sign that he was looking at me and tasting his lips, wondering about Saturday night. I still wasn't sure he knew or just suspected.

I couldn't believe how openly Doug talked to his mother about Herbie. What did she know? I wondered if she knew he was talking about Herbie's sexual appetite. As much as I didn't like parents, she was about the best mother I'd met up until then. I was also wondering about Kent. I'd been hearing about him for some time, but I hadn't met him. He was just one more mystery that revolved around the boys in the house near the end of my neighborhood.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 14

It's All Under Control, Isn't It?

By the next day I'd sorted through everything that happened over the weekend a few times. I understood that I didn't know anything about sex. I'd done some things to increase my knowledge when experimentation became possible. As much as I liked Greg, I knew Doug was the kind of person I ordinarily would pick for a friend. The fact they were brothers really complicated my feelings. I didn't want to pick one and lose the other.

The excitement Greg furnished me was great for a cheap thrill but it would never amount to any more than that. While I got my share of cheap thrills over the two days, or nights, I spent at Greg's, that wasn't what I wanted my life to be about. Hence forward, I would be Doug's friend and ignore Greg's arrogance. I didn't think I could ignore Greg because of the way my brain fogged over each time he came into range.

I'd worked it all out by second period on Tuesday and I felt really good about myself. For the rest of the day I didn't even think about Greg. I was happy with myself as well as my resolve, and I couldn't wait to get home to see if maybe Doug would come over so we could continue getting to know each other. As I turned the corner and started down the long row of red lockers toward the back of the school, I saw Greg leaning with his back against my locker. He looked odd. Gone was the cocky bravado. He seemed somewhat deflated.

"What's up," I said, standing like I wanted to get into the locker he blocked with his back.

"You take all those books home with you?" He asked, looking at the books and running his finger down the backs to examine the titles.

"Not if I don't have to," I said, tossing some in and taking some out, after he pushed himself to one side.

"Want to walk home with me?" He asked.

"For what," I said.

"We can talk."

"After that great conversation we had yesterday. What could be left to say? I'm almost talked out. Your careful planning get sidetracked or what?"

"God, Martin, you can't take anything I say seriously. You know I'm full of shit. I think we need to talk."

"I strongly suspected you were full of it, but it's nice to get a confirmation from the horses mouth. What do you want? I told Doug I'd see him after school."

"He's got Karate Club and my mother picks him up at the junior high."

"Oh! He didn't mention that. So I get you instead, huh? Doug's a lot nicer."

"But not nearly as exciting to be around. I told you, I'm a nice guy. You have me all wrong. I don't mean half of what I say. I just talk too much."

"Lucky I don't pay much attention, huh?"

"I owe you some lessons. I always pay up."

When I shut my locker my shoulder was against his chest and when I turned my head to look at him our faces were only inches apart. In spite of his superior height, our lips were not so very far apart as I thought they should be. It was definitely hard to breathe and those lips looked like a double dip chocolate Sunday to me.

His pale blue eyes blinked easily, as we stood speechless. I inhaled deep to smell him. His odor inhabited my brain and I recognized it. The heat from his body made me feel warm all over. I smelled a sweetener on top of his usual manly scent. It had all but given out by sixth period, allowing his true honest smell to come clear in my nose.

I broke the stare first, looking down at my feet first, trying to break through the fog and the feelings he instilled in me. He once again called the shots and I danced to his tune. Two giggly girls passed behind us and forced his retreat. My resolve had dissolved some place between sixth period and my locker. I wanted to go anywhere he had in mind. I wanted to be with him.

The birds were singing and the breeze rustled the new green leaves above our heads but there wasn't much to say while we walked the path to the other side of the woods. I felt like I should say something but I didn't, and I wasn't sure this wouldn't give him the idea that I was following blindly along like everyone else seemed to do?

I'd do anything for Greg but I wasn't going to do it on his terms. I'd never let him know what he made me feel and I still wasn't sure why all logic and reason shut down when he was near me. I was sure I was going to go as far as I could if the opportunity arose.

As he led me down into the basement, I could smell the opportunity rushing up out of the cool dark room, and it stiffened my desire for him even more. Was the basement itself a source of lustful cravings, which would quickly fill each boy as they descended into Greg's carefully prepared domain? As quick as the odor rushed up at me, I was thinking of getting with him, disregarding all the consequences that had seemed so important on my way there.

It wasn't just the musk smell coming from the substance caked on the walls and to the tied bundles of papers under the steps. It was the images the smell evoked. Images of naked boys with throbbing erections they hoped to get serviced before they returned to less opportune environs. By the time I was at the bottom of the steps I could see Alfie massaging cocks thrust into his hands as quickly as one was free. The dripping boys didn't seem to know inhibitions that took over their lives once they got back up the stairs. I remembered them standing on line, waiting for a hand and some relief for the constant desire they lived with.

Greg reminded me we were shooting pool after a time. He began to explain the subtle points of the game to me. I watched him move around the table and remembered the taste of his cock and the feel of its inflamed flesh on my lips. My own jeans became a hindrance to the game each time I would lean on the table to make a shot. The distraction grew as the game proceeded.

When there was something other than a straight in shot, he'd lean down attentively and go about explaining how best to place the ball in the pocket. It was basic Geometry that required good vision and some comprehension of shot selection if you wanted to achieve the best results. I knew how to do it but I wasn't very good at it. There was something about me being around him that made logical thought all but impossible. It must have been something like jamming radar. Whatever it was, Greg was a natural born disrupter to my thought processes, and I sure as hell didn't need any help from him to get my brain malfunctioning.

I tried to listen to him. I wanted to beat his pants off, literally, but those damn eyes kept following me around the table. I mostly watched him pointing and explaining while I imagined shooting a game of my own. It was obvious to both of us that my pool wasn't getting any better after a few games. He would be clearing the table while I still had five or six balls left.

I'd stand to one side and watch his body gracefully moving from shot to shot. He took his shirt off after the first game just to keep my mind off pool. I inhaled deeply each time a shot brought him close to me. Between his strong scent and the scent emanating from under the stairs I had an Everlast lead pencil in my pants. I tried to adjust it covertly and each time I placed my palm on it to push it down, he'd be looking up at me with his inquisitive eyes.

A half an hour into my lesson, He leaned over me as I was shooting. He arranged the cue in my hand without ever saying what he was doing. As he explained how to line up that particular shot, his body pressed into mine firmly. I could feel him pressing the front of his jeans against the back of mine. I knew I wasn't going to learn anything else about pool, but it was getting more likely I'd learn more about Greg.

It seemed like he wanted to do more than give me pool lessons just about then, but we'd both known that from the time I saw him leaning on my locker. He touched me when and where he wanted, knowing there was little I could say that wouldn't sound ungrateful for the time he took with me. Once he stood behind me as I made a shot and when I stood up, my back was against his chest. He made no effort to move. The bulge in his pants had risen to the occasion. I just stood still until he moved out from behind me. When I leaned to take my very next shot, he moved around the table, placing his bulge on the rail as I studied the angle that led right to it.

I wanted him so bad right then. I wanted to get on my knees and unzip his pants and give him what was on both of our minds. It would be the kiss of death if I did that. It would all be over and it would be the final time Greg and I ever shared any intimacy. I don't know how I had come by this knowledge, but if there was one thing I wouldn't do, it was anything that would assure an end to whatever it was that was going on between us.

I wasn't just another boy who could get with him and then walk away. I couldn't give him what he wanted unless he came for it. I started to wonder why he had come to my locker? Greg had any number of guys he could play with. Why me? What was he looking for? What did he know? How far would he go to get what he wanted?

"Go ahead. Get comfortable," he said after arranging his bulging jeans in front of my shot. "I know it's hot down here. Take off your shirt if you like."

He unbuttoned and then unzipped his pants half way down for incentive, watching my eyes to make sure he had my attention, and then he shoved his fingers down to move his cock off to one side. I could see the cleft under the head in the fabric of the jeans. I swallowed hard as he smiled.

"This is the longest anyone's been down here with all there clothes on since my old man shot a game with me a few weeks ago. Makes me want to get naked, you know."

"Don't let me stop you," I said after pulling off my shirt.

There were two problems with taking off my shirt. I looked anemic when compared to Greg. I also had no way to hide the bulge that refused to stay put in my pants. I used my hands as a foil when I wasn't taking a shot, but I wasn't fooling any one and touching myself simply gave me other ideas that can't be discussed in polite company. Our eyes followed each other around but there wasn't much to say at the time.

Neither of us knocked any shots in for several minutes. The balls just cascaded around the table without purpose while the players played a game that had indecisive rules. It was right after taking a minute to finally push my erection down my right leg that Greg decided we'd had enough pool.

"We could go upstairs for awhile before my mom gets home with little brother."

"For a Coke?" I asked.

"No. I meant up upstairs, to my room. I want to get out of these tight jeans. I'm sweating like a hog."

"Yeah! Me too," I said.

I followed Greg up the stairs and he grabbed two beers out of the fridge before going up to his bedroom. He handed me one and drained his as I sat on his bed. He sat on a folding chair to take off his shoes and socks. He pulled his jeans down off of his hips and his cock was a strange darker color as it leaped out, rising until it stood straight out from his brown patch as he kicked the jeans off of his feet.

Greg stood facing and was about an arm's length away. He knew what I was looking at but he allowed me to have a good long look. After a minute he pulled down hard on himself, squeezing just below the head once his fingers felt the ridge. It pointed back up after he let go. I noticed it jerking twice as some invisible force excited it to what I was sure was full size.

"Damn I'm tired. Pool takes a lot out of a guy if you play it right."

"I suspect a gallon of blood rushing into that thing might have something to do with it. Must require a lot of energy to keep it up."

"That could be it, Martin, but I need a quick nap," he said sliding into the bed behind me. He pulled the sheet up over his midsection. "Aren't you tired after all? You should be exhausted the way you play pool, and I can make room for you if you like."

"A little. Maybe I should be getting home. Your mom will be home. I don't want her to think I'm one of your subjects."

"She picks little brother up at five and they stop by B. K. Miller's Market on the way in. That gives us until 5:30 and it's only 4:30. We can relax awhile."

"I've never... ah...." I forgot what I was going to say when he smiled.

"You can lie down if you want. I'm just going to rest my eyes for a minute. Hard day at school! Growing boy needs his rest!"

He closed his eyes for affect as his chest rose and fell evenly while I looked at his incredible body.

When I scooted up beside his legs he moved over in the bed, pulling the sheet away from his body at the same time. His cock pulsed and some clear liquid had appeared at the wide open slit in the plumped rose color head. I put my hand on the inside of his thigh on the fine curly dark hairs that ran up the inside of his leg. He pulled my hand up to the shaft and after he guided me to it, I wrapped my fingers around it and leaned forward to place a kiss on the underside, flicking at the slit with my tongue to clear his head. His body quivered when my lips brushed the exciting flesh.

"Yeah," was a tiny word that barely got to the outside of his lips.

His hand was immediately on my neck and I used my tongue eagerly on the slit. His stomach tensed and there was a shiver that ran through him. I licked and nibbled until I was ready to take the head in my mouth, washing the rose colored tip to collect the fluid pulsing out of him. He seemed quite content with the attention I gave him.

His hand felt my shoulders from one side to the other. There were no demands or instructions. His hips moved gently to furnish as much of him as I wanted. His chest was filling full of air and his mouth hung open to accommodate his needs. When I looked up with his tip between my lips, he was staring right back at me. Our eyes mingled while we each considered what the other was doing in his bed.

"Why don't you get comfortable," Greg said in an uncharacteristic thought about someone else. "You can take your clothes off if you want."

I sat up while looking down at his nudity. His hand pumped himself at a moderate speed. He looked at me as I slipped out of my jeans and underwear and socks, pushing them all off in one quick maneuver that didn't give him long to take a survey. I wanted to get back to work on him before we lost our momentum, but he stopped me before I could get my head back down between his legs.

I suppose it was my idea, or his, or it was by some magic design that neither of us was responsible for, but we were kissing there in the middle of his bed. He was holding my shoulders as our tongues came together in his mouth. He made no effort to push me away. In fact he held me in place with his strong hands. I was dizzy and giddy, lost in our passion. I can't imagine how long we stayed there like that. Time has a way of losing its meaning when you are having the kiss of a lifetime. For all my thoughts about Greg I never imagined he could make me feel like this.

I ended up on top of him with our crotches fencing fervently, our mouths wet with lust and welded together, alive with a hunger for each other. I felt an incredibly power boiling inside of me. After a few more minutes we broke our embrace to lean back and look at each other. My heart pounded and he sucked air big time as he held me on his chest a few inches from his face.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, searching his wide eyes.

"Let me fuck you?" Greg said in a desperate plea. "I need to fuck you while we still have some time. Please!"

My hand went around his cock. It sprouted massive from my modest fist. It seemed too large to consider entry through my hole but at the same time I remembered Alfred and how he accommodated all Greg had to give. He used his hand to squeeze mine tighter as I held him. More liquid dripped out of him. I noticed the puddle around his belly button.

"I won't hurt you. You know you want me," he said softly and with confidence.

He thrust his other hand back between my legs as his fingers prodded at me. My face dropped as he poked and our lips were together again, searching for some compromise.

The kiss created a new and more intense ardor that made it possible for him to roll me over onto my stomach while forcing his body tight against my ass. He kept one hand on my stomach and his lips on mine as was pushing the bedding onto the floor while we wrestled.

"Greg!" I said too alarmed when he let go of my lips.

His hand went back between my legs and took hold of my aching cock. He squeezed and twisted as his own cock poked at my hole.

"Greg, I'll shoot if you keep that up," I warned.

I pushed my ass back hard on his erection. It wasn't like I didn't known that this was a possible outcome from out making out. I saw him putting it to Alfred without so much as kiss. I'd seen Herbie doing it to Doug and then Timmy, and there was nothing but dicks and assholes involved. While I didn't know the physics involved or how members like Greg's fit into tiny little butt holes like Alfred's, but it wasn't impossible.

The thought of Greg doing that to me was a bit scary, but it was also very tempting, even with my doubts that I would stretch wide enough without ripping open first. His excitement and anticipation was enough to get me over the hump. He kissed my back and neck as he humped my tightly closed hole.

Before I had time to object too strenuously, I was face down on the bed and Greg was tight up behind me, reaching past my head for the big jar of lube and a small silver foil package that he kept in the drawer at the foot of the bed. Soon he had a finger that felt like five up my butt and there was all this slick shit that had come between us as he forced the inadequate rubber down over his hungry erection.

"It hurts, Greg. Take it easy. I want to be using that again," I said before I was sure it hurt.

His finger was rough and went in and out fast enough that I wasn't sure when it was inside. He leaned over my back and felt between my legs, smearing lubricant on my shaft.

"I'm going to shoot!"

"You like it," he whispered in my ear, pleased with himself for making the discovery.

"It burns," I said when I could tell by the way he panted in my ear, this was no finger he was using on me now. Of course he had one hand on my stomach and one on my dick, and I figured he was running out of hands just about then.

"I know it burns. It'll get better once I'm all the way in you," he panted while forcing himself closer to me as his chest was suddenly pressing hard on my back. I was trying to get that very back on the bed while we talked this over, but Greg seemed to have made up his mind.

"Ohhhh!" I said as I felt him moving deeper into me.

"You okay?" He asked, kissing my neck under my ear. "Half way there. We can do it."

"Yeah," I said, sounding full of it.

"Lean back and help me the last few inches," he said, nibbling up and down. "Just a little bit more now. Oh yeah, you're so fucking tight. Almost there. I'll take it easy now."

"Hey, Greg, you here shithead?" Came a yell from the bottom of the house.

"Shit no! Not now! He tells everyone my business."

"Hey, Greg! You up there?"

"We got to quit. He can't know we're doing this. Go along with me, okay. We'll do this next time, okay?"

Greg sounded disappointed as he eased himself out of me at about the time he got his feet back on to the floor as someone was on their way up the steps, using one heavy footstep at a time.

"Come out come out where ever you are. I know you're here."

Greg grabbing his jeans and a towel, trying to wipe off his dick and put on his jeans at the same time.

"Get dressed, okay?" he said, tossing me my pants, underwear and socks, pushing it all into the air with the tow of his foot as he yanked up his zipper way faster than I ever had the courage to do.

"Get up, Martin," he ordered. "You want him to catch us."

"Like he isn't going to figure it out. Get real, Greg." I stood up to tuck my erection into my jeans as soon as I got them under my feet.

"Sorry, didn't know if you were up here. You should of said something," Herbie said.

"Martin," Greg said, looking at my exposed erection.

"Just washed it. Can't do anything with it," I apologized to Herbie as he stared. "He was just lending me some clothes after I took a shower."

"Big things do come in little packages," Herbie said as I finally got myself completely tucked into my pants.

"Right, with you two around, no package is all that big."

"I meant for a young guy. Don't give up, you'll grow."

"Excuse me! Didn't I interrupt something dirty? I'm sure I was interrupting something dirty." Herbie said, not giving any thought to turning around and letting us get dressed in private.

"Your timing is incredibly bad, Herbie," Greg growled in a totally unfriendly tone of voice.

"Say, if you don't want to waste all that stuff, I could use a good lube job," Herbie said, looking at the towel Greg had used to wipe himself down with after our almost coupling.

"It's from the past weekend, but whatever floats your boat, Stick."

"Did you drive?" I asked. "I fell in a mud puddle on the way home. That's why I needed a shower. Now I'm late and could use a ride."

"You look awful clean for falling into a mud puddle," Herbie said.

"I told you I took a shower," I said.

"Seriously?" Herbie asked. "I didn't catch you guys doing something? I mean I could help with almost anything you were doing."

"He's a pain in my ass," I said. "Not much we're going to do. He did offer to let me use the jeans he was wearing. Way too big. I could never fill his jeans."

"My mother will be home any minute. You know I don't get too worked up this time of day," Greg said, pulling on his shirt. "He was just looking at some of my old clothes while I changed.

"Sure, if you say so. I just came by to see what was up. I can give you a ride."

"Excuse my bad manners, nice seeing you, Martin. I seem to be seeing more of you lately," Herbie said with a big mischievous smile on his face. "Where to?"

"Gregie," a woman's voice wafted up the steps.

"Jesus, I should have sold tickets, Greg sighed, "Yeah, mom."

"Just checking to see if you're home. Dinner in half an hour. We got sirloin steak at the market, your favorite, dear. Anyone else staying for dinner?"

"No. I'm just changing clothes. Be down in a minute, mom. Fries with that?"

"Of course," came the reply.

"Fries are great in the steak juice," Greg said to us.

The footsteps coming up the stairs could have only belonged to one person. I was staring at Doug as I pulled on my shirt. I smiled but he didn't seem amused.

"What's up?" Doug asked, looking at me when he said it.

"Not much. I was just giving Martin a ride home," Herbie said.

"You coming back?" Doug asked.

"I can if you want, squirt."

"Sure," Doug said. "That would be cool. We're having steak."

"And I've got to get home," I said. "Herbie, that ride still on? I think their all too big for me Greg. Thanks for asking," I said while Greg stared at me blankly.

All signs of Greg's excitement were hidden behind the tale of the shirt he put on. Mine had dwindled as soon as Doug showed up. I felt a little dirty after Doug caught me there. I didn't care if Herbie knew Greg and I were going at it.

"I'll walk you to the end of your lane. We don't eat for half an hour," Doug said.

"Yeah, cool. I'll pass on the ride, Herbie. I need the exercise. See you later, Greg," I said, but he said nothing.

"You sure, Martin. I don't have a thing to do but go get my car lubed. I'd be glad to give you a ride to where ever you're going. I thought you was late?"

"I know. Maybe some other time if you want," I said.

"I thought he said.... I'm confused," Herbie said.

"What's new," Greg said.

We walked around and out of the horseshoe drive after slipping out of the kitchen without his mother seeing me. Doug's arm brushed mine three times by the time we got to the street. I couldn't stop thinking about his lips when he turned to say goodbye.

"He don't give no one anything less he wants something out of 'em," Doug said.

"Who does what?"

"Greg wouldn't give you something without getting something from you. I told you he's like that. You better listen to me," Doug said seriously, making me feel about two inches tall. "See you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure enough. See you tomorrow," I said, dodging between two cars as I crossed Old Highway. I turned in time to watch Doug walking back toward his house.

"What an asshole," I said to myself.

I wasn't sure how I had gotten myself into this mess. I was torn between the two of them and I was fucking up big time. I'd never have Greg and Doug wasn't about to let me take my time choosing between them. If he'd known what Greg and I were doing, he'd never speak to me again, and then I thought about Herbie. I knew he'd tell Doug if I didn't. There was no way to avoid confessing to him what I'd done with his brother.

Why is life so fucking complicated?

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 15

Some Other Brother

After gym the next day I was sitting in the bleachers taking my time getting to the showers because second lunch was all dressing out early for gym. I liked to wait until there wasn't so much confusion in the locker room. There were half a dozen guys on the far side of the gym working out on the wrestling mat. When I saw one of them was Greg, my attention was riveted to him. He wrestled with two different guys and seemed to be bigger and more agile than both of them.

It excited me to see the way Greg hung on their backs, driving his hips into their ass as they struggled to get free of his weight. I knew it was called riding time, and it was an apt description, the way Greg applied it. I wondered if there was ever a time it wasn't on his mind. I wondered if any of those boys got pissed off when Greg used them for his pleasure, when they weren't willing participants in one of his games.

It took me awhile to recognize Timmy in the spandex wrestling uniform. I thought he went to school with Doug. He had on protective headgear, and it took me a minute to realize whom it was Greg wrestled. In the skin hugging tights Greg seemed even that much larger than the younger boy. The longer I sat there the more difficult it was for me to take my eyes off the action.

Greg's hips drove even harder into Timmy than the two boys who he wrestled before him. There was no pretense it was wrestling as far as I could tell. The harder Timmy struggled the more Greg adhered to him, grinding his hips into Timmy's ass. It was like they were screwing, right in front of the two dozen people who were now starting to fill the gym, waiting for the next period to begin, staring at the wrestlers copulating on the mat. No one paid attention, watching the grinding for a few seconds before walking away unconcerned. Greg's crotch stayed pressed tightly into Timmy's ass. Didn't anyone notice that little detail besides me?

No one watched them for long, moving away to where they belonged. There was one wrestler left, waiting for a turn. He sat with his head bowed and his arms dangling down between his bent knees. His eyes followed the two wrestlers much as mine did as he held one wrist in the other hand. Everyone else had wrestled and returned to the locker room. He watched as Greg kept one hand on Timmy's stomach and one on the inside of Timmy's left thigh, and his dick stayed glued to Timmy's bottom. You couldn't see it but you knew and so did the last wrestler. I thought I could see alarm in his eyes while he watched the way Greg was humping against Timmy. His eyes never left the spot where the were welded together.

Greg finally rolled off and onto his back. I could see him breathing hard as sweat rolled off of him and onto the mat. The hair under his arms was matted and wet. Timmy rolled up beside him, laughing like he'd just heard a funny one, and then he was looking at me. He said something to Greg, who lifted his head up to look at me, and then he let it drop back down on the mat like it weighed a ton. He rolled over onto his knees to get up and then he started toward me with Timmy in tow.

"You're next, Paul," Greg yelled back over his shoulder as he jogged toward me looking like he was worn to a frazzle.

"Hi, Martin," Timmy said as Greg pulled up short and stood behind him.

"Hi, Timmy," I said, nodding at Greg. "I didn't know you wrestled."

"Oh yeah! He's a load," Timmy said, breathing hard and his uniform was covered in sweat. "He wrestles all us smaller guys to keep us in shape. Most of the older guys won't take the time. Coach makes him do it because he's good at it."

"I'm good at everything," Greg said, leaning forward with his hands on his knees.

"You forgot one," I said.

"Paul? Little boy lost," Greg said. "I'm saving him for last. I like to piss him off. Fucker never wears a jockstrap."

"His got this long skinny dick like Herbie. You should see that thing," Timmy whispered loud enough for it to echo along the bleachers. "Got this wicked bend in the middle of it."

"That one," I said as a group of people walked past the mat.

"The red head," Timmy said, nodding over to a tall thin boy who leaned against the wall and watched us or Greg.

"He's a pussy," Greg said. "Like you, Martin. No competition. Light weight. Knows what he wants but can't ask you for it."

"Riding guy's asses? Yeah, that's your specialty isn't it, Greg?" I spit the words out without planning to say anything.

"Fuck you, Martin," Greg growled in flash of anger.

"We making a date or you blowing hot air?" I asked as he turned his back on me.

"You had your chance, Martin, and you blew it," Greg shouted, causing everyone to look.

"I guess I'll see you this weekend, huh?" Timmy said as he turned to follow the god of war back to his lair.

"Yeah, sounds like fun," I said. "I'm looking forward to it."

"We're going to shoot some pool after school today. You coming over?" Timmy said, walking backwards as he moved back to the mat.

"No," Greg snapped. "He had his shot yesterday."

Timmy looked at me and then Greg. I couldn't read his face but something was going through his brain that hadn't been going through there a minute before.

"Come on, stud. Don't want to disappoint Paul. He's probably on hard already from thinking about it."

Paul couldn't help but hear, but he showed no expression. He just watched the two boys as they moved back onto the mat. I watched them going back to the other side of the gym. Timmy jumped on Greg's back, forcing him down on his knees as they reached the mat. Greg yelled and threw him over his head roughly, bouncing him twice before he jumped back up and rushed him again.

I finished taking off my shoes and socks while remembering Greg riding my ass the day before. I didn't know why but every time we got together we ended up arguing about something. The day before I believed Greg really wanted to be with me. Not like he was with everyone else but he wanted me because I wasn't like everyone else. I watched him riding Timmy down flat onto the mat where he stayed, looking totally exhausted.

Paul stood up and there was a snake in the front of his tights that wiggled when he walked toward the mat. You couldn't miss it. He threw his weight at Greg's chest, catching him off guard and knocking him off Timmy. Paul was nearly as tall as Greg was, but maybe twenty pounds lighter.

"I got to get to class," Paul complained, not sounding at all happy with the delay. "Coach said I got to get five minutes in with you today."

Greg jumped up and they were fanning their arms at one another. That damn snake kept wiggling in those tights and looked like it could actually peak out the bottom of the right leg as he is stalking Greg. Then Paul lunged in and caught one of Greg's thighs. When he couldn't knock him off balance, he stood back up and they locked arms. Greg ended up behind him with his hands locked on the boy's stomach just above the slithering snake started.

Paul faked a move in one direction and then another and he swiftly reversed their positions. He tripped Greg from behind by using his ankle against Greg's, still working in an effort to get him off balance. You could see Greg tiring and his opponent seemed fresh and determined to prevail. He adroitly pushed his weight in such a way that collapsed Greg onto his stomach and at the same time that slithering snake ended up right in the middle of Greg's butt crack with the boy riding him hard. I almost stood up and cheered the move, as Greg seemed helpless under him.

His mouth gapped and the mat grew wetter from the sweat. I could see Greg breathing hard as his opponent stayed in control as he seemed to run out of gas.

"Yes," I said, watching Greg make one grand effort to slip out of the other boy's hold. I didn't want to see Greg defeated. I guess he was some kind of hero to me even if I didn't know what kind. I wanted to hurt him but I didn't want anyone else to do it.

Paul managed to hang on and shifted to keep Greg under him. I thought I'd finally found someone who could put Greg in his place but I didn't need to see it. I watched the boy trying to enhance his hold on him. He reached around Greg, getting his hand on the inside of his thigh, all the time his round bubble butt was churning hard, as he drove his body into Greg's. Greg's attempts to escape seemed half-hearted at best. Perhaps he'd worn himself out and this was the consequence, but in the back of my mind I suspected there was a larger web being woven and the humping boy was already in it. For too long Greg seemed helpless and each move was countered easily as the boy road a previous tormentor hard.

I was running late for fifth period and I couldn't shower because of watching the boys wrestling, or whatever it was they were doing. I looked back when I got to the door, and Greg had slipped the hold and was circling Paul for the kill. I shook my head and said, "I knew it." Greg was up on his toes looking like a formidable foe yet again. As the door was closing behind me in the locker room, I heard a resounding thud echoing from the gym. I knew who was riding whom now. Greg was indomitable. He'd only been resting while he toyed with the prey.

I couldn't concentrate the rest of the day and I kept thing about what I'd seen in the gym and what Greg and I had done in his bed. My mind refused to think of anything but sex. I carried my books in front of me as I started out of the school on my way home. I'd need to do something about that immediately if I wanted any peace.

*****

On my way home that afternoon I kept picturing Greg with the wrestlers. It gave me a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when I thought about what was really going on. The day before it was my ass he wanted to ride. He didn't seem to be able to pass up a chance to use his dick on someone.

As I came down the street toward my house, two boys were sitting on the cover of the old well that had been closed off since before we moved into the house. At first I wasn't sure who was waiting there until I recognized Doug. The other boy was taller and thinner with short dark hair. As I got closer they stood up and the taller boy brushed off the seat of his khaki pants.

Doug smiled when we were an easy distance apart. His even white teeth showed in perfect rows and accented his shapely lips. The other boy stood fast as he watched my approach.

"Hi, Martin."

"Hi, Doug. Fancy meeting you here."

"This is Kent. I been telling you two about each other," he said, looking at me. "Figured you should meet so we would all be friends."

Kent took one step forward and thrust out his hand. "Good to meet you," he said in a strong formal tone of voice that I'd suspect you might here at Rotary Club meetings.

"Yeah," I said, finding my way to his blue eyes and then almost immediately becoming out of breath. My heart seemed to flutter as our hands collided. The smile took a second to develop. We held each other's hand as the stare took on a life of its own as we smiled together.

"God, you two cut it out already. I knew you'd like each other but not in the middle of the fuckin' street," Doug said.

"Come on," I said. "I'll fix you guys a Coke and get out of these clothes."

"Yeah!" Kent said. "Can I watch? Not the Coke, you getting out of your clothes."

"He's a nice boy, Kent. He hasn't been around like you. Give it some time, will you?"

"I'm not so nice," I said. "Doug's the only one who thinks I'm nice. I try to humor him."

"My mother," Doug said. "She knows nice when she sees it. She says, Martin is a very nice boy."

"Herbie. Herbie says, "Martin's nice. A bit naïve, but I'm working on it." Herbie's my big brother, you know."

"I'm not that nice," I protested, turning around to look at Kent with Doug walked beside me to the front door. "Herbie got robbed!"

"Does that mean I get to watch?" Kent asked as my stomach tightened and a herd of butterflies tried to get my feet off the ground. "It only gets better."

"Jesus, Kent, don't start yet. You two cool off while I'm around."

"Sure," I said sounding giddy when I heard the word get away from me.

I let them in the house and took them to the kitchen to pour Cokes.

"I'm going to go change. It'll only take me a minute," I said, heading for my bedroom so we could make a quick getaway before my father got home.

"Small, huh," Kent said, coming to the door of my room with his Coke in his hand. He was looking right at my somewhat stained white briefs.

"Big enough," I said, checking my lap as my pants rested on my knees.

"My room is big," Kent said, looking all around at my piles of junk and discarded clothing.

"Oh, yeah, it's big enough for me though. I don't take up much room when you get rid of the trash and dirty laundry."

"Size is a problem for you," he said as he focused on me as I stood to grab my last clean pair of jeans off my dresser from when I hadn't put them away since they were last washed.

"Not usually. Being around your brother and Greg could give a guy an inferiority complex."

"A big bedroom gives you a lot more room for junk. Mine's a mess," he said.

"I'm sorry. You were looking at me and I thought you meant, you know, size size. It's not a problem."

"I did," he said, smiling and giving me a total once over with those twinkling eyes. "I'm just being an asshole. You look just fine to me. Size is over rated anyway."

"Only a guy with it would say that," I said.

"I suppose. I've got all I'll ever need, but like I said, then I've got to clean up all those piles when the old man gets on us about being messy."

"I don't have any idea what we're talking about," I said.

"Size," Kent said and I pulled my fresh shirt on over my head and then thought of my Right-Guard and before putting my arms through the holes, I grabbed the deodorant and swiped under each arm without being able to see what I was doing.

"You got hair," Kent said, letting his eyes work me over some more.

"Ah, I suppose. It just grows."

In a sudden move he jammed his right arm straight up in the air and held out the sleeve of his blue to examine what was inside. "I'm hairless except on my head and around my...." His glance down at his midriff made an inquiry unnecessary.

"I wouldn't know about that," I said, trying to sound nice as my eyes lingered on his crotch now that he'd taken us there.

"Herbie told me about you and Greg yesterday," Kent said. "I know you aren't nice. Not too nice, anyway."

"He what?"

"Oh, it's nothing personal. He talks about whatever he did every night after we go to bed. Any thing to do with sex. Herbie talks about, thinks about, and is engaged in sex about ninety percent of his waking hours."

"Your brother tells you about his sex life."

"No, he tells me about anything to do with sex. He thinks it gets me in the mood."

"Your brother?"

"Herbie," Kent said with clarity in his voice. He sipped from his Coke. He watched me watching him.

"You do it with your brother?" I couldn't hide my shock.

"Lighten up, Martin."

"Your brother?"

"After he told me about you and Greg, I knew I had to meet you. It was my idea."

"What did he tell you?" Doug said, slipping up to the door beside him.

"Herbie tells me everything. It would take all afternoon."

"Herbie is not someone to tell your secrets to, Martin," Doug advised.

"Especially if he knows you're having sex with someone we know," Kent said.

"Anyone," Doug said, "But let's not get into that. Does every conversation have to be about sex. I'd really like to forget about sex for one afternoon."

"We're fourteen, Doug, of course every conversation is about sex. Was when I was thirteen, come to think of it." Kent look thoughtful as he spoke.

"Fifteen," I said.

"Oh, you stop thinking about it at fifteen," Kent said. "Right! I'll mark that down."

"Ah, I don't think you ever stop, Kent. Not until you are dead," I said.

"My brother's seventeen and it's all he thinks about. I could never keep up with him."

"Everyone isn't like you and your brother," Doug said. "Some of us have lives that aren't always leading away from or toward a sexual liaison."

"Speak for yourself," I said.

"Greg?" Kent added.

"Not every one is like you, your brother, and my brother. I think your father might have gotten with my mother and that's how Greg got your family sex gene."

"Herbie tells me everything, Doug, every night, everything. I'm there when you sleep over, remember?"

"Does every conversation have to be about that?" Doug yelled. "That's all I'm saying. Yes, I'm fourteen. Yes, I think about. Yes, I do it. No, it isn't all there is to my life."

"Nice day," Kent said.

"Might rain tomorrow," I said.

"When I lay in the bed and listen to the rain on the roof, it makes my dick so hard," Kent said.

"Hopeless," Doug said, shaking his head.

"You want to get out of here. I can show you where I live," Kent said as we moved to the living room.

"Cool," I said. "That way we can avoid my old man."

We left my house and started walking up the gravel road.

"My parents go away most weekends. Pop's a pilot. Maybe you could stay over one time?"

"Cool," I said.

"He's going to the Mountains with me this weekend," Doug said.

"I didn't say this weekend," Kent explained.

"Well don't," Doug said as we walked.

*****

"Root Beer, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, or Sprite?" Kent asked as he dropped two ice cube trays onto the countertop.

"Let's go downstairs," Kent said. "We can put on a movie. The old man just got a shipment from Denmark."

"Kent!" Doug said.

"Okay, okay, we've got other movies besides those," Kent said. "I'll show you the private stock when you stay over. Some neat shit, Martin. You'll be hard for a week."

"Cool," I said, getting a stern stare from Doug.

Kent burst through the door at the bottom of the stairs and straight ahead on the biggest television I'd ever seen was two girls locked in a sixty-nine position.

"Close the door," Herbie screamed.

"You said you were going to be out this afternoon," Kent said meekly.

"I changed my mind, okay. I ran into Nicky and Ben, okay!"

One boy sat at the end of the couch staring into the screen. I'm not sure he knew we were there. Another smaller boy was in the middle looking at us, and Herbie was in his bulging boxers with his shoulders leaning up against the arm of the couch closest to the door. The middle boy was partially leaning back against Herbie's bent right knee that leaned on the back of the couch.

"That's Nick, Timmy's brother on the end over there. That's Ben, Timmy's brother in the middle. This is Martin," Doug said. "He knows your brothers. He's cool."

"You aren't," Herbie said. "Can't a guy get some privacy."

"I seen you up the bowling alley," Ben said, swinging his legs as he looked at me.

"Yeah, I go up there some times," I said.

"Yeah, you was with my brother one time," Ben said, looking at my face. "That's how come I remember seeing you."

"We're busy," Herbie said, looking back at us. "This is just getting good."

"I got to go before my old man gets home," Ben said, jumping up. "Come on, Nicky. Let's cruise."

"Huh," Nick said, mesmerized by the image of the girls now kissing on the television.

"We got to go. I got to be home when the old man gets there or else."

"Okay, just a minute," Nick said, standing up without taking his eyes off the screen. His pants stood partially open with dark hairs sprouting out of the yawning hole. The two boys went between us and up the stairs after another minute. They were giggling by the time they got to the top.

"We can go to my room," Kent said. "He'll be at it for awhile."

"One of you can stay for a few minutes, Doug," Herbie said, feeling himself through the white boxers and looking over his shoulder directly at Doug.

"We'll be down in a few," Kent said. "Martin hasn't seen my room."

"That's cool. Give me some privacy and leave my new Playboy alone, Kent. I want to read it before you get the pages all stuck together, okay."

As we started up the stairs Herbie yelled, "Doug, come here a minute. I got something to tell you. They're only going up stairs."

"I'll catch up," Doug said. "Don't worry, nothings going to happen."

I didn't know if he was talking to me or to Kent, but I didn't believe it because he didn't sound like he meant it. I don't think Kent did either but we said nothing about his absence. The first thing Kent did was get Herbie's new Playboy out of the bedroom closet. It had a pink cover and the girl was sitting on her feet and had two huge white bunny ears on her head. She had a set of bodacious tatas and no one had to explain what that was. He did find it necessary to lick the both, one ta at a time, while he kept his hand busy rubbing the front of his pants.

"How long you lived here?"

"We moved in last year. How long you lived here?"

"Most all my life," I said. "Did you know Doug in Germany?"

"Yeah, I've known Doug since forever. We've been best friends since then. We can talk to each other, you know. We did stuff together for awhile but we stopped after we was maybe twelve."

"He's a nice guy," I said. "I mean really nice."

"He thinks you're nice. He talks about you all the time. Doug likes nice guys."

"I've heard," I said. "I sure like him too, but Greg really complicates that."

"Yeah, Greg's a handful.

"Ain't that the truth."

"He said I'd like you, you know. He said we ought to meet. He said we'd be good for each other. Doug."

"Do you?"

We laid flat on the bed with our heads turned so we could stare into each other's eyes. He was handsome, but it was more than that. There was something about him that was powerfully attractive to me. And he was nice too, and I really liked that most about him. He seemed direct and smart and there weren't any games or any attempt at deception that I could detect.

"Do you bowl?" Kent asked.

"A little. I'm not very good at it," I said.

"Good, neither am I. I'm a walking spaz attack when it comes to sports, like my brother. I do like it. Maybe we could go when you stay over. Early before anyone shows up to see me bowl."

"Why do you want me to stay over?"

"Well, Doug's been telling me I got to meet you. Herbie told me about you and Greg Yesterday. I figured we could, you know, if you want. Doug thinks you're so innocent that I figured you'd be a big fat waste of time. I mean I got plenty of friends."

"Is that all you think about?" I said, imitating Doug's rebuke.

"Yep, 'fraid so. How about you?"

"It's getting to be," I said.

We kept staring into each other's eyes and I wanted to bite my tongue for saying stupid shit. Kent was like totally cool. I felt like I'd known him about a million years or so. In some ways he did seem a lot like his brother but he was way different too. I don't know how to explain that. There was something about Kent that was very special and I felt totally comfortable being with him.

"I do think about it an awful lot. When I first meet someone, I always know if I would or wouldn't. If I would, I got to figure out if they would. After that it's a matter of if I do or not. I've gotten used to it."

"Do you do it a lot?"

"When I get a chance. I like sex, Martin. Do you want me to lie? I get all I need and it's fine; it doesn't keep me up nights. Well, that's not exactly accurate. It does as long as we're going at it."

"What else do you do beside that?"

"I read some, not just Playboy. I liked that Stephen Crane book on the Civil War. How the guy ran and then got back and fought. Who would figure you could get back once you run?"

"Red Badge Of Courage," I said, knowing the book.

"Yeah, did you read it?"

"Three times. I do a book report on it every year but I've read it every year since seventh grade until this year. Usually I read books once and then do a book report on it every year."

"I like to paint. Nothing fancy. Still life kinds of stuff. It gives me a weird feeling to see something I done. Weird, eh? I paint nude some times."

"I'm a total waste when it comes to art - I write," I said.

"What do you write?" Kent asked.

"Poems. Stories. About my life, my friends."

"You want to bring one over. Read it to me. I want to know about what you write. What's inside your head. That's so neat. You going to write about me?"

"No doubt. I like you. I write about people I like."

"You could write about stuff we do. We can figure some really fun shit, and then you can read it to me once you write it. I want you to read me something."

"Maybe when I stay over," I said.

"I haven't scared you off yet? My dick's hard thinking about you writing about stuff we do."

"Me too," I said.

It startled me when I felt him trying to pry up my fingers until he had woven his fingers into mine. I can't describe the feeling it gave me knowing he wanted to hold my hand. God! It was weird because I'd sucked guys off, licked places I didn't necessarily think folks ought to be licking, and I'd kissed a guy while my lips were loaded full of his... just desserts, and yet I'd never held hands with another human being. It created a warm and wonderful feeling in my heart. We stayed eyeball to eyeball and neither of us blinked.

"Can you come over tomorrow after school? We could do something."

"If you want me to, yes," I said.

"I want you to. Herbie's got plans. What's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Me too."

"Favorite ice cream?"

"Rocky Road."

"Me too. Favorite toy from when you was a kid?"

"Teddy bear."

"GI Joe doll my old man brought me back from Oki, Okinawa."

"It's close," I said.

"Close enough."

"What's up? You two playing nice?" Doug said as he came to the door.

"Nicer than you've been playing. Is that all you ever think about," Kent said, looking Doug over.

"I didn't do anything. He wanted to talk. You know how he is."

"Doug!" Kent said.

"Well, we did talk. The whole time we was talking. I swear."

"Look, I don't care what you do with him, but my old man'll be home any time, and if he sees your pants unzipped, well..., what's he gonna think?" Kent said, sounding concerned.

Doug grabbed for his zipper but it was up. He glared at Kent.

"Just checking. I know my brother well enough to know what, come here a minute means."

"You don't have to tell Martin everything you know. He might a figured we were talking."

"Did we hit a nerve? Doug, it's okay if you do stuff - no one cares. We'll still like you. Even more knowing you're human like us."

Kent tried to back away from the confrontation he'd stirred up but now it was on Doug's mind.

"I don't want everyone knowing my business, that's all," Doug shot back.

"We're all friends, Doug. It's okay for you to be what you are," I said. "I like you just the way you are."

"I keep saying I'm going to stop," he said to me, sounding depressed. "Then I always say, just one more time and I'll quit. I don't want to be that way."

"Let's face it, Dougie, we both have brothers who aren't never going to let us stop. You can't not want sex anyway. You just need to take control so you are doing it when you want to be doing it and who you want to be doing it with."

"Greg doesn't bother me any more. He's more interested in getting new boys to do it. I want it at the time when I'm doing it and then I feel guilty for doing it. Why do you want it and feel guilty once you're done?"

Doug dropped down on the bed between us and Kent rolled over and put his arms around his friend in a comforting way. He reached his hand out to touch my hair and face while he was holding Doug.

"It's not normal to be doing... or wanting to do it ALL the time," Doug protested.

"It is normal, Dougie. The only thing that ain't normal is having other guys that feel the same way and admit it."

"It's not. It can't be," Doug said firmly. "I think I'm becoming Greg some times."

"Martin, is it or is it not normal to be doing it or wanting to do it all the time when you get to be our age?"

"Mostly I wanted to be doing it all the time because I had no opportunity to be doing it with anyone," I said, trying to get all the words in the right place so he could figure out what I was saying.

"You haven't been around these guys before," Doug lamented. "They're all pervs."

"Thanks, buddy. I love you too," Kent said. "Of course you and my brother are normal, right."

"You're a nice perv, Kent. My brother and Herbie are just pervs. You're a victim of an overactive sex drive."

"Why do you do it with him then? It's not like they weren't at it the entire time we was hangin' out at Martin's. They didn't just get here and left when we showed up? Ben's been over here every afternoon when I get home the last week. He just started bringing Nick with him."

"Where does he live," I asked, curious about the two boys that had been with Herbie when we got there.

"Ben's house is directly behind ours. Nick's is directly across and over three to the left from where Ben lives."

"At least I'm in good company," I said. "I thought I was the only perv. You think it's in the water around here."

We all laughed and hugged each other for comfort, but it wasn't a jovial kind of laughter, more ironic, I think. We were all thinking how nice it would be to be happy about who we were and what we were doing with each other. I wasn't happy about it. I wasn't exactly happy wanting guys. I wasn't happy being wanted by guys. I didn't know what I was looking for when I did the things I did, but right then, I wanted Kent and Doug together or separately, it didn't matter.

I wanted Herbie too when he came to the door, still in his underwear, feeling himself through the pee hole once he saw me look there. I remembered the snake in red's spandex condom, how it squirmed around and slithered on his long lean thigh, and how he then worked it into the crack of Greg's ass and humped him hard for the longest time. Why couldn't I see Greg fat dick wiggling in his tights? Why not Timmy's? Why was that guy's dick so obvious and why did he wait until he was last to ride Greg's ass? I decided I could make time for red too.

"I told you not to mess with this," Herbie snapped as he yanked the Playboy up off the bed and out from under us. He immediately unfolded the centerfold and held it up against his crotch as he looked at the naked form. "God I want her."

"You want everyone," Kent said.

"Creates more opportunity that way," Herbie said, kissing the picture and I remembered Kent licking the cover. They were brothers in every sense of the word. Kent was handsome and Herbie was homely, but they even sounded similar. They both had something that drew me to them. Their smiles were a come-on and their body language was an invitation.

"Kent's going to be here. You want to see some films, Martin."

"Herbie," Doug said, alarmed. "You ever want to get together again?"

"I figured you were done for now, Doug. I didn't mean. You know you're my main man, champ. You always are, it's just that...."

"Shut up," Doug said, and I heard Greg in his admonishment.

"Oh, I'm fine if Doug isn't up for a go, is that it?" I inquired in mock anger as he held his underwear tight around his erection.

"Oops. I better split before I get into any more trouble. Doug you are welcome to come watch another movie with me and if you aren't interested, then Martin, I'll finish what the Gregor started yesterday if you like. I'm not as rough as he is."

I hadn't had a chance to talk to Doug yet and I could tell by the expression on his face that he understood more about what was going on in his bedroom the day before.

"Herbie!" I said.

"Oops! I'm going, I'm going."

Kent whistled a happy tune as the conversation ran out of steam with the departure of Herbie.

"I don't care, Martin. I mean, I care that I don't want you to get hurt. That's why I introduced you to Kent. He's okay and he won't use you."

"Well, maybe just a little," Kent said, smiling shyly with his gentle puppy dog eyes. "On days when you feel up to it. We could use each other even."

"I've got fifteen minutes before I need to head home," I said eagerly.

"Martin!" Doug said. "Wait until I'm not around. I should have known this was a mistake."

"Tomorrow," Kent said silently while holding his hand over Doug's eyes.

"I heard that," Doug said, pulling the hand away and looking at both of us.

"Heard what? Did you hear anything, Martin?"

"Not a thing," I said, looking around the room.

"I know you two are cooking something up," Doug said, scooting off the foot of the bed. "I was hoping you liked each other. Come on Martin, I'll walk you as far as your road. I got to get home too.

Kent stood when I got up and he held my hand as we walked to the front door. Doug looked at us and he shook his head. I stared up into Kent's heavenly eyes as we said goodbye. Doug leaned on the door, sighing loud enough to break our trance. Kent stood on the front porch to watch us moving away from his house. I looked back over my shoulder at him until just before we went out of sight to make sure he was still there. He waved at the last instant we could see each other, and I waved back.

"Now you can forget about Greg, okay," Doug said. "He'll only cause you grief. I love my brother, but he's a dick. You need to leave him alone."

"What about you? Does this mean I've got to leave you alone too? Now that you've passed me on to Kent that changes everything? I can't stop feeling what I feel, Doug. Don't ask me not to feel what I feel."

"I can't be what you need, Martin. I want you to be happy and I want us to be friends. If I try to make you happy, I'm afraid we will end up not being friends. I'd rather be your friend."

"I am happy but I like you. I thought we were friends. Doug you do it with Herbie. Everyone knows you do it with Herbie. What's wrong with me?"

"I know, but I'm not ready to be liked the way you're wanting to be liking someone. I'd only disappoint you and I don't want to do that. Let's be friends, Martin. I want us to stay friends."

"Kent is?"

"Uh-huh. Kent's fourteen going on forty. He's honest and up front about who he is. I think you two can be very good friends and I've never fixed anyone up before."

"He likes girls," I said.

"So do I," Doug said. "Kent likes girls the way Herbie and Greg like boys. It doesn't mean anything once you get past the feel good. It's sex. Kent likes guys in a way I don't understand. I mean he merges with them somehow. There was a kid in Germany he was with every minute he could be with him. It was neat to see Kent so happy. He told me he loved him and I believed him."

"You and Kent?"

"He's my best friend. If I could like a guy the way you want, I'd like Kent first. I can't explain it, Martin. I like guys okay. I like sex. I don't like guys for sex. I know it doesn't make any sense. I don't want to get a girl pregnant either. I don't know what I want."

'Herbie?"

"He's about sex. No complications to think about. Do I need to get off or don't I. That's what Herbie is to me. Don't get me wrong, Herbie loves me, and I love him, but only because he always takes care of it for me. I love him because I don't need to do anything else to get it taken care of. I don't have to risk someone else thinking I'm queer. Without him I'd go nuts, I suppose. It's kinda nice, knowing he wants me all the time."

I didn't know what else to ask him and we split up when we passed the gravel road that led down to my house. He didn't look at me and I didn't look at him. I don't know why, I just couldn't, but I still wanted him.

*****

"You're late," my mother said as she slid plates onto the table like a dealer spit out cards at the black jack table.

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "I forgot what time it was."

"You have a doctors appointment after school tomorrow. Don't be late," she said, moving past me to go into the bathroom.

"No!" I said, thinking of Kent and his bed and my desire.

"Don't say no to me, young man," my mother protested without slowing down or looking at me.

"No, ma'am," I said. "I mean yes, ma'am."

Kent would be expecting me and I had no way to contact him. I called Doug after dinner.

"Doug, it's me."

"Martin, what do you want? I gotta go eat."

"Kent, I told him I'd be over tomorrow. I've got a doctor's appointment I forgot about. You go to the same school, right?"

"Yeah, we have math together third period. I'll tell him. No big deal."

"Okay, don't forget."

"I won't. I gotta go - night."

He hung up the phone and I felt an ache in my heart. I didn't want to go to the doctors. Life was such a crock some times.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 16

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

Kent called me Thursday night after getting my number from Doug. He wanted me to spend the weekend while his father and mother flew to Denver for a pilot's convention. I told him I'd told Doug I would go to the mountains with him and Timmy. He asked me to get out of it but I couldn't. We agreed to meet Monday after school if I came back alive. I assured him I would if for no other reason than to see him.

It was Friday before I knew it. Nothing much happened and I walked straight home to get the stuff I'd packed for the trip the night before.

I showed up at Doug's at four o'clock and they were loading a green pickup truck that I'd never seen. It had a camper shell on the back and was half full.

"Put your stuff in the back," Doug said as I walked up the horseshoe driveway. "What did you bring."

"Two pairs of jeans, cutoffs, a swim suit, and a few T-shirts and extra socks and underwear."

"Swim suit," Timmy said, as he brought out a box full of food.

"Yeah, Doug said they swim in the river."

"Not in a swim suit," Timmy said, shaking his head.

"What do you swim in?" I asked like an idiot.

"Your birthday suit, dummy. It's in the mountains," Timmy said. "Swim suit!"

"He can swim in a swim suit if he wants," Greg's mother said as she carefully placed a box in the truck. "Kent swims in a swim suit as I recall. Why doesn't he come with you any more?"

"I told you he doesn't get along with Greg, and he wears the swim suit so he don't bruise his knees is all," Doug said.

"Cut it out, Douglas," Greg's mother said as she started back up the stairs toward the kitchen.

"I can't help if it's true."

"What's true?" I asked, feeling like my head was on a swivel.

"You'll find out," Doug said.

"You know Kent?" Timmy asked.

"Yeah, I met him the other day. He's cool."

"I live right behind him," Timmy said.

"And Herbie," Doug said.

"They are brother's, Doug," Timmy said.

"He said there is a club house and horseshoes and stuff," I said, going back to work on the swimsuit thing.

"Yeah, there is but we swim down behind the house mostly. It's a mile from anyone else," Doug said. "We have it all to ourselves. Pop's owns fifty acres."

"You missed Greg," Greg's mother said to me. "He went with his father in the limo so they could get set up for us."

"You're going with me, remember," Doug insisted. "Forget about Greg. You're with me and Timmy this weekend. Tell him Greg's a moron, Mom."

"Yeah, Martin, Doug's a better friend. Greg's somewhat self-absorbed these days?" Greg's mother said. "He could use a friend like you though. I don't know why he hangs around with that immature group of boys."

"Mother! He's my friend. Greg can get his own, okay."

"I'm his friend," I said to no one in particular as Doug and his mother eyeballed each other.

"Of course you are," she said in a calming voice. "You boys riding in the back."

"I can ride up front with you mom," Doug offered.

"I'm going to listen to opera, Dougie," she explained.

"Yes, we're riding in the back, Mom," Doug said.

"Good. You boys don't eat all the food before we get there. It's thirty miles to the market and we've got to make it through Sunday."

"We wouldn't do that," Timmy said.

"Right!" she said. "The chips, pretzels, and peanuts are in the last box I gave you to load. We'll stop half way to stock back up and get you boys cold drinks."

"Yes, ma'am," Doug said, hopping up on the tailgate and sliding in until he reached the pile of bedding up against the cab. "You got a sleeping bag, Martin?"

"No, you didn't say I needed one," I said. "I don't do much camping."

"Cool, we got a dozen down there. Greg gets one bedroom and my parents get the other. We sleep downstairs. It's cool. We can sneak out. Stay up all night if we want."

"Camping?" Timmy said. "They got a two story house they built from scratch. Can you imagine that? Every body else got an A frame or a tent."

"It gets hot during the day but it still gets chilly at night this time of year. You need a sleeping bag if you aren't in one of the beds," Doug advised.

"Maybe Greg will need some company and I can get to sleep in the bed," Timmy said.

"Timmy!" Doug said. "You're going with me."

"I just said...."

"I know you," Doug said.

We settled down as the truck lurched forward and turned out of the driveway. Doug was in the pretzels and Timmy was in the Ruffles before we turned onto Old Highway. I sat in between them and alternated between the two bags. I realized how stupid that was when I started looking for something to drink.

We stopped for sodas and ice in Middleburg after Doug told his mother I was thirsty. In another hour we were winding our way up a narrow gravel road with trees brushing the top and sides of the truck on each curve. Luckily we didn't pass any vehicles coming in the opposite direction.

When we pulled up in front of a cinderblock house with the huge picture windows all around, I caught sight of Greg wielding an ax on a slope off to the right of the house. Wood chips flew as he whacked away on what I was told would be the weekend wood supply. His muscles both bulged and glistened as he went about his chore.

We carried the provisions into the kitchen and I stumbled onto the living room as I looked around. The walls were only sheetrock but there was an impressive stone fireplace at the far end of the room. After examining it, I stopped at the picture window that dominated the living room. It overlooked the river that was maybe two hundred yards away and three terraces below where the house stood. That picture window seemed to tower above the river when you were standing in it. The window looked very small from down there, but the world looked incredibly large as I stood there looking out that first time. I'd never seen a view that equaled it.

Just below the window was a patio of brick surrounded by grass. On the level below that was a garden full of freshly-turned black soil. On the level below that was a small field that might have measure fifty yards by fifty yards and was great for playing ball, being bordered by a forest on both sides. From there it dropped off into the river another fifty or seventy feet down to where it ran past the property. The leaves had yet to fill the trees and a good view of the rushing river was relatively unobstructed.

I would learn that there was a rope placed on a huge oak tree at the corner of the property, which made it possible to repel from the last level onto the river edge. Later I'd find the foot holes that had been dug out of the clay like earth, leading up from the river. By using the roots that stuck out from the hill you could easily negotiate back up the cliff without using the rope and all your strength. There were only two ways to get down to the river, use the rope or fall off the cliff. The rope struck me as being the best option, although I was told stories about some of Greg's drunken buddies who had taken the dive and lived to tell about it.

"Hey, one of you guys," Greg yelled, wiping his forearm across his wet forehead. "Put one of the comforters and a couple of those pillows in the back bedroom."

"Yes, sir," Timmy said obediently, flipping him the bird as he went back to the truck.

"Hi, Martin," Greg said in a too-friendly greeting. "I didn't think you were the outdoorsy-type."

"Hi, Greg. I'll try anything once," I said, stopping with my arms full of blankets to watch him wield the ax.

"This way, Martin," Doug said, leading me by the arm to the door.

"I could use a drink," Greg said.

"The kitchen's over here," Doug said. "Lots of good stuff in it."

"What do you want?" I asked.

Greg stopped chopping and wiped his forehead again. He looked me over carefully for a minute before he spoke. "Water would be good. Sodas too sweet while I'm working. Lots of ice. It'll melt fast," he said.

Greg's mom was busy putting away food and getting things ready for a meal. We each grabbed a bologna and cheese sandwich off a platter on the corner of the table and headed out the door. I stopped to pump some water into a glass full of ice. I took a sandwich and the water to Greg. He smiled and guzzled the water, which cascaded down his chin and onto his chest. He sat the glass down on a stone, opened the sandwich, threw the lettuce and onion on the ground, and ate the rest in three bites. I watched him chewing and he watched me watching.

"Martin!" Doug said from the gravel road just behind the truck.

"The peanut gallery calls. When you get tired of playing with the little boys I'm in the back bedroom. I didn't ask anyone else, Martin and you know why," he said before picking up the ax and starting to work again.

"That an invitation?" I asked.

"Whatever," he said, dismissing me.

I had to think about it as I walked up to where Doug and Timmy stood waiting for me to join them. Greg went back to his chopping chores. It didn't take long for us to be exploring the mountain settlement. As we skipped down the narrow gravel road Doug regaled us with stories that gave us some of the local flavor. We were almost to the clubhouse when we passed the first A-frame, which sat back ten feet from the road. There were also a few sites with tents and one had elaborate decks around the tent and a wide cleared path behind that I imagined led to the river.

The fading daylight made it difficult to see details but there was still enough light for us to check out the clubhouse area once we arrived. It too was an A-frame, albeit a large one with the very front and rear being all glass. This allowed the lighting to escape and light up the immediate area even on the darkest nights. Two large street lamps marked the front of the property and joined with the other lighting to illuminate the picnic tables and cooking pits that were scattered around the A-frame for campers to use during gatherings. There were several vehicles and tents very near the A-frame and very young kids were running around screaming and acting like little crumb snatchers.

We passed on shooting pool and the video games even though they were free. It seemed a bit much to go camping and then do the things you do when you are at home. I did imagine Greg and the local boys shooting strip pool while everyone gathered to cheer them on. I decided that was a bit far out. We walked down to the pier to get my first close up of the river. We used the light to look up and down the calm placid waters. It had seemed to run a lot faster from the window of the house. It was still warm although you could feel the temperature starting to fall.

There came an angry scream from the direction of the A-frame and suddenly the children fell silent. As we came around the corner of the "boathouse" there were some people sitting at a table that I ignored. Timmy came to a screeching halt as I dodged around him so I could follow Doug who also ignored the people at the table.

"What the fuck you staring at?" A masculine voice inquired.

"Come on, Timmy," Doug ordered without looking at the speaker. Timmy stood perfectly still as we moved away from him.

"Nothing," Timmy said, still standing fast.

"You want something or other?"

The boy was in jeans and a red flannel shirt. There was another much younger boy, sitting on the opposite side of the table. Seated on the older boy's lap was a girl. She had her arms around his neck and broke off from a kiss to give us a dismissive look from over her shoulder as she held herself tight to him.

"B, we gotta go. We're already late. You want the old man should come down here looking for us?" The boy said. "He'd skin us all."

"I don't want no trouble with nobody's old man," the older boy said.

"Oh, he won't care," B answered. "Can you meet me tomorrow, Augie? Please."

"Tomorrow, I'm here tonight, baby. Can't you sneak out or something? You won't be sorry and we only got 'til Sunday."

"I know, but we all sleep in the same tent. I can't get out. My old man stays up half the night and he's up before dawn."

"Suit yourself, hot pants," he said. "You got me all worked up and now you just take off. When you want it you know where I am," he said, standing up and letting her down on the ground beside the table. They kissed for another minute before she walked off with the younger boy. Timmy still stood staring at the boy.

The light from the poles lit up all our faces once they were standing out of the shadow. He was a walking contradiction when I looked at him closely. He had coal black hair and dark piercing eyes that drilled into Timmy, only his face was the face of a boy. He must have stood six foot tall but his features were delicate and non-threatening. His skin was smooth and I'm sure no hair had grown upon it. His thin black eyebrows arched artistically over each eye with the right cut completely in half by a scar that ran two inches down his forehead. His right front tooth was chipped off from the middle and slanting to the right side. He looked both tough and tender and his voice was deep but the tone said he was not a pit-bull looking to strike. He more reminded me of a poodle looking for respect.

"What the fuck is your problem," he said in that deep man's voice. He closed the distance between himself and Timmy in two steps as Timmy looked him up and down. He was half a head taller than Timmy and looked down at his eyes to prove his superiority. It just wasn't something a bully had to do. He was posturing to keep us off balance and yet he just didn't look all that dangerous. I didn't think he'd hit Timmy. I didn't know what it was he hoped to prove.

"I wouldn't figure a guy that looks like you would need to mess with a little girl like that, that's all," Timmy said deliberately as he stood fast and looked into the dark eyes that were on him.

"You two this kid's keeper? He shouldn't be out alone."

Once against he didn't sound or look threatening, although he kept his position over Timmy when he turned his head to speak to Doug and me. It was obvious he wasn't going to back away.

"Yeah, come on Timmy. We got to get home for dinner," Doug ordered. "Sorry mister, we just washed him and we can't do a thing with him."

This brought Augie and I into a laughing mode. Timmy stayed planted as Doug moved a little further along toward the road.

"How old are you?" Timmy asked.

"Sixteen, what's it to you," the boy said, sounding hostile.

"I bet," Timmy said. "You're eighteen if you're a day. She's what, twelve?"

"She's fourteen. So what if I'm maybe seventeen? You the pecker police or what? If she's giving it out I'm getting' in line, okay? That a problem for you?"

"I'm just saying someone like you shouldn't be with a little girls."

"What do you mean someone like me? I'm like every other boy I know."

"Timmy, don't start. We aren't at home. I don't know him."

"I know," Timmy said. "I just asked. Sorry if if I'm the curious type. You want to come to dinner with us? They won't notice one more. Can he have dinner with us, Doug."

Timmy turned away and started toward Doug before turning back to give Augie the once over as he walked backwards away from him. I was doing exactly the same thing but standing still while I was doing it. Augie shook his head but he smiled for the first time.

"Jesus, you two cut it out," Doug said as I smiled back at the lovely boy.

"I don't care you're curious. Too bad she had to go is all. I'm going to nail me a little of that before she leaves. I'm August Moon." He put his hand out for shaking.

"I'm Timmy Bradford. This is Doug and Martin, my best friends. They're cool too," Timmy said as he moved back to shake the boy's hand. "You can have dinner with us if you want. Can't he, Doug?" Timmy waited for his answer.

"Timmy!" Doug said. "He's probably got stuff to do."

"They call me Augie," the boy said, pushing his hand at Doug and then me after shaking Timmy's hand. "I actually don't know anybody here. My boss still ain't come to pay me. I could use some food if it's okay. I don't know when he'll show."

Doug checked his face carefully as he shook his hand.

"He's right, you know. You're way too old to be trying to get with that little girl. People around here are red necks. You can't just be getting with a girl that young just because she's a wanting to be got with."

"Who says who can get with who? I been too long without to turn her down."

"You always work with an audience?" Doug asked, and I remembered the boy who went off with B.

"When that's the only way to get some. What's with you guys? Boys chase girls. It's nothing new. Believe me. I been at it since I was eleven."

"That boy will be telling his father all about you by now," Doug said. "You got to be careful up here."

"I don't think so. He set us up. Said she puts out for his friends after school. Said he had to stay with her. I said he could do what he wanted if he introduced us."

"What's he getting out a the deal besides cheap thrills," Timmy asked cynically after considering what Augie said.

Augie gave Timmy a funny glare.

"Where you staying?" Doug asked.

"Pitman's. Up on top!" He said, using his head to indicate up above the clubhouse. "I got to clear the property for them on account I stole their car and got arrested. That's part of the deal so I could get out."

"Hungry?" Doug asked, not asking any of the questions I suddenly had.

"Starved. Old man Pitman was supposed to bring me supplies and pay me this afternoon. He ain't showed yet."

"You can tag along if you want. My parents wouldn't let anyone go hungry, but maybe you shouldn't mention the car deal in front of them," Doug said.

"I don't lie. I done what I done. I did my time. I'm a free man now."

"You went to jail," Timmy blurted out.

"Seven months worth. Been out a week."

"What's it like?" Timmy asked.

"You don't want to know, stud."

"Yeah, I do," Timmy said. "Is it like they say?"

"It ain't like nothing." Augie said sounding severe.

"You definitely shouldn't mention that," Doug said.

"Maybe I shouldn't eat with you. I'm up top in the green tent just over the crest on the right. You might could bring me a sandwich later on if it ain't too much trouble. I could pay you later on when he comes."

"I don't run no delivery service. You're welcome to come eat with us. I'm just saying it would be better for all of us if my parents didn't know about the jail thing. That's all I'm saying. Why mess up a good thing if you don't need to?"

"Yeah, I guess that's cool. You brothers?"

"God, not even," Timmy spoke up. "Tell me about when you was in jail."

"Timmy!" Doug said.

"Long story, stud" Augie said, walking between Doug and me as Timmy walked behind the three of us and leaned close to Augie's shoulder when he talked to him.

"You the strong silent type," Augie said to me.

"No!" I said.

"Oh!" He replied. "I don't bite. I'm just not used to being out yet."

"I know," I said as our arms pressed together.

The light was on near the kitchen door, and there was a big light on the corner of the house near the patio. We strolled down the hill toward the smoke that announced dinner preparations were underway. Augie and I were introduced to Greg's father and Augie met Greg's mother when she brought down some food for the picnic table.

Greg's father was a good size man with a dark complexion. He wasn't black, more the color of dark red clay after it had been glazed. His hair was black but now gray had started to its purity. He was an intense man who went about cooking, staying focused on that at first. Greg brought stuff out and stacked wood beside the grill. The odor of food made the night air smell wonderful. I don't ever remember being so hungry as I suddenly was.

A sweetness in the night air mingled easily with the smell of the food. I'd never experienced anything like it before. I was sure I could smell the rich black soil that I'd noticed from the window above earlier in the day. Then there was the river. The sound of the rolling waters below us was hardly audible. I don't know I'd have been aware of it if I didn't feel it in the ground where I sat. It was difficult to pick the sound out with the crackling of the fire, the conversations that broke out, and the usual night sounds that surrounded us.

Augie sat on the very corner of the cinderblock wall that kept the side of the hill that took you up to the kitchen door off the patio. That put him behind and several feet to the right of the grill. He stared at Greg's father for a long time, watching him attending the grill but seeming to see more. My mouth watered as we sat silently scattered around the patio. It was like all the energy had run out of us all at once.

"Blackfoot," Greg's father said without looking at Augie, but somehow he knew the question that was lingering in his mind. Both Greg and Doug looked up at their father at the same instant.

"Yeah," Augie said. "I'm Choctaw. My grandma was a German lady."

"The boy's mother is Irish. That a close match."

"Doug?" Augie inquired.

"Doug and Greg are mine. The rest are strays. I'm never quite sure which ones are with us and which ones just find us. You are welcome here, Augie."

"August Moon," Augie said proudly. Greg's father smiled as he worked the grill.

Augie stared at Greg each time he brought something to the grill. Augie's skin was darker but it wasn't like Greg's. Greg was golden, Doug somewhat less so, and Augie was red, now I know that isn't correct, but as light as he was, his skin had a reddish tint that darkened it just enough to make him look exciting to me. I wasn't the only one. Timmy sat next to him throughout the meal.

*****

Greg's father was a never-ending source of food and he insisted we all eat our fill and then some. He was an unpretentious man who laughed easily and seemed to be alive to serve us while we were there. His eyes were dark brown and they were on you when he talked to you. He seemed like a very smart man without talking like he was smart. The wisdom of his years impressed me but not as much as I was impressed by the way he treated us.

I spent from Friday until Sunday in his environment. I came to enjoy his company and I felt comfortable with him one on one when I didn't feel comfortable with any adult one on one. He had simple taste, enjoyed life, and never once treated me like I was anything but his equal. He amazed me with stories that were always at the ready. He never explained them or went into great detail about why the stories were special to him, but in the stories he told us about the very essence of his life as he'd discovered it. Much of it was attached to his heritage.

Many times over the next few years, I'd pull myself out of my sleeping bag shortly after first light, and I knew there was a black cup of coffee waiting for me. He'd shove into my hand as I stumbled out onto the patio with a blanket over my shoulders no matter what month it was. Soon we'd be talking and a story would unfold. Then the chuckle that would lead to the infectious laugh that never failed to get me going. I'd end up laughing with him, at him, and at the tales he loved to tell. It became our time because everyone else slept well beyond sun up. Even now I rise with the sun and immediately go for the coffee, and some morning I think I can still hear his laugh.

*****

August Moon left shortly after dinner so he could be back when his employer came to check on him. Timmy walked him to the gravel road while Greg's mom was bringing out cake and Kool Aide laced with fresh lemons squeezed generously into the beverage. I don't know what it was about being up there with them but I found myself devouring everything that was put before me. I never ate much of anything at home but I sure learned to pack it away on the side of that hill. I often wondered why everything seemed so appealing to me up there.

All evening we sat around the fire and listened to the tales as Greg's father spun them out to us. He told us about the world as he'd known it, when he was growing up on an Indian reservation far from civilization. I was sure Greg and Doug had heard it all before and yet they sat with the newcomers, hanging on every word with us. Neither seemed anxious to break the trance that had been spun around a grand crackling bonfire that turned the night orange. Only the fire and the frogs and crickets competed with his voice except when someone else would take the floor for a few minutes while he took a break.

Greg's mother was the first to wander back into the house and when I took some dishes up to the kitchen I could see her seated in a chair by that picture window that overlooked the river. She was reading her book by the light of the fireplace.

"Where you going tonight, Pop?" Greg asked after the silence took hold for a spell.

"Up into the meadows," he answered, shoving another marshmallow in over the dancing flames.

"Coon?"

"I saw signs of rabbit earlier today. Maybe coon. You want to come along, son?"

"Nah, I think I'll sack out tonight. Maybe tomorrow night, Pops."

"There may not be a lot of tomorrow nights left for us, son," Greg's father said thoughtfully looking into the flames.

"I know, Pop's. Just not in the mood. I got a lot of wood to cut in the morning. I want to get us stocked up so I can have some fun."

"You boys better get some sleep then. It's getting late. Be morning before you kids know it," he said.

"Yes, sir," Doug said. "I'm beat. Nothing like fresh mountain air for a good nights sleep."

He lit a Coleman lamp before leading us away from the fire. Greg's father toyed with it until the flames no longer leaped at the night. He pulled the fire apart and onto the bare earth that looked like it had been cooked a hundred times before. He wouldn't leave it until he was sure.

We entered the bottom floor from the opposite side where you went into the upper floor. Doug tossed a sleeping bag at me, hitting me unexpectedly in the chest. Once I'd settled in he arranged his sleeping bag in-between Timmy and me. We had the same view as their mother only one floor lower. The glowing embers from the departed campfire the only source of light after the lamp was out.

We talked about our day for about fifteen minutes before Greg came down to visit. He brought four beers and we each took one as he stood by the door in his boxers drinking his. We made small talk and made plans for the following day. We were like old friends just thinking about what there was to do next. He was casual and seemed different from the intense Greg that ruled the rec room and everything in it. I warned myself he couldn't be trusted.

"Someone want to sleep upstairs in a nice comfortable bed," he said after the beers were all drunk.

"Greg, they're with me," Doug protested. "You should have asked someone if you didn't want to be alone."

"I'd have asked Martin but you beat me to it, brother of mine," Greg said sounding sad. "You always ask the good ones."

"What?" I said, surprised he would admit that in front of me.

"Come here," he said. "I'll explain what I meant."

Not trusting him was trumped by my being curious about what he might say.

"Martin!" Doug said firmly, letting me know he didn't approve of me consorting with the enemy.

"I'll be back in a minute, Doug. We're only going to talk."

"You do what you want," Doug said, sounding like I couldn't.

I went to the doorway where Greg stood. He was only a shadow and heat I could feel.

"I was going to ask you Tuesday but Doug had already asked you. You know we didn't finish. That damn Herbie. I could kill him some times."

"I came with him, Greg. How would you feel if I came with you and went off with Doug? I can't do that," I said. "We can get together when you say. Not here. Not now."

"Yeah, sure. Just remember I asked," he said, suddenly toughening up again.

"I can't," I said.

He shifted his weight on the doorway and I sure he was going to leave it at that. His usual superiority attack that let you knew he was in control and he'd call for me when he wanted me. Instead the front of his boxers ended up pressed against my hip. The heat surged into my face and I knew what was just on the other side of that flimsy material. I wanted to reach out and feel him. I wanted to get closer. I knew what he was trying to do to me. I wasn't going to fall for it. Oh, how I wanted to.

"Maybe tomorrow, huh? We can go canoeing if you want. Do you like canoeing? I can show you some great places. Nothing like the view from the river."

"I don't know. I like water. I've never been canoeing."

"You want to go with me tomorrow while they're doing something together?"

"Sure," I said. "That would be cool. I just can't tonight."

"See you in the morning," he said and his hand touched my stomach just before he left the door, disappearing around the side of the house and then walking past the window in front of where we were to sleep.

I settled back into my sleeping bag feeling a bit guilty for talking to Greg. My eyes adjusted to the dark, and then I heard the crickets, the frogs, and a number of sounds I wasn't sure about. I could see stars through the picture window at my feet. They were visible just above the tops of the trees I knew were there but couldn't see. There was a small space that I knew ran out across the river and it was filled with the brilliant uninterrupted starlight.

"God, that's beautiful," I said.

"What?" Timmy said.

"The sky," Doug said. "I bet there are a billion million stars."

"At least," I said amazed.

"He was beautiful," Timmy said in a dreamy tone. "What a body. His pants were unzipped when he stood up. I wonder what we interrupted?"

"Cut it out?" Doug said.

"August Moon," Timmy sighed.

"Timmy!" Doug said. "Don't start. He likes girls."

"Can he come over tomorrow?"

"I don't care," Doug said. "Sure! He's a nice guy. Don't say anything about him being in jail."

"We could go to see him," Timmy said. "Your dad won't be back for hours and your mom never comes down here."

"I don't know where he lives."

"He told me exactly where," Timmy said. "He let me hold his hand."

"You what?" Doug protested. "One of these days someone's going to bust you in the mouth."

"He told me I was cool. I think he likes me. He didn't want to leave. That's when he told me how to find his tent if I wanted. We could go up there. He's all alone."

"He tolerated you," Doug said. "We all tolerate you. He's all alone except for that little girl."

"Nope, he likes me and that little girl sleeps in a tent with her daddy."

"What would he want with you?"

"He's been locked up seven months. Healthy red-blooded American boy. What do you think he wanted from her?"

"He's a man. You're a kid," Doug said.

"He's all man. Did you see what he had in his pants, God! All man! I almost touched it when we were standing up there talking. He'd have let me."

"Size is how you measure corn flake boxes, not people."

"You measure what you want and I'll measure what's in his pants, okay."

I listened to them argue for awhile as my mind wandered out into the dark. I imagined a million small animals were out there roaming around. I could hear some barking off up above the road. It was a steady sound that was fading in the distance. I watched the stars twinkle and started to drift away from what had turned out to be a great day.

"Timmy," Doug said, waking me back up just as I was drifting off.

When my eyes opened I could see the shadow of Timmy down below Doug's waist. I leaned up on my elbow to get closer, and Doug's back was against my arm as he leaned up on his elbow to see what Timmy was doing to him. They were both on top of their sleeping bags. I could hear a small sound as Timmy's head moved up and down.

"Timmy, I said no," Doug said without convincing me.

In another minute Doug was leaning hard against me after he felt me behind him. My face was next to his face and the heat grew. There was a small sound coming from Doug's mouth as his head lolled back. When his lips parted, his moans were riding on tiny wisps of air that escaped in short sharp gasps that I felt on my face. I found my lips touching his cheek and this caused me to swoon. He was making no attempt to turn his mouth away from mine. In fact his lips were getting closer as his sweet breath caressing my face in a way that hypnotized to him. His moans were becoming more intense as Timmy went on without a break.

When I first touched my lips onto his, I was sure he'd pull away from me. I just didn't expect Doug to want me to kiss him. Instead he leaned even harder against me, never altering the position of his lips, making them more accessible. Until that moment I'd stayed removed from it. As drawn to Doug as I was there was always something that kept distance between us. He'd never said anything or done anything to make me feel it, but it was there until then.

He was helpless and his back dropped flat onto his sleeping bag once I kissed in earnest. My lips stayed on his as his mouth opened wider, inviting me, and I was immediately plunging down into the most incredible bliss I'd never known. He wreathed and his chest heaved under mine. Our skin pressed together and we created more heat. I was sweating and so was he. I could feel him struggling, his hips were twisting and his chest heaved as Timmy kept at him.

The moans became groans and then it was a whimpering sound as his body started to twitch and grind against mine. His tongue plunged into my mouth and I sucked it as fervently as Timmy sucked his cock. His breaths were coming faster and they were shallow. There was this silent shriek that rolled through his chest as he shook. He held me tight and kissed me for all he was worth. Just at the point he was struggling so hard it seemed as though he would escape my grasp, he fell back on the sleeping bag with every bit of fight gone out of him. His kisses became soft and gentle affairs as Timmy scooted up toward us.

I stroked Doug's face as Timmy put his face against ours.

"Damn, you never ever gave it up like that before, dude. You nearly drowned me, you know," Timmy said with a giggle.

"It's no fair two against one," Doug said, as he looked at how I was holding him carefully in my arms. Even in the dark I could see his blue eyes sparkling as he looked up into my face. It was like he was seeing me for the very first time.

"I'm beat now," Timmy said. "You do know how to wear a guy out." Timmy slipped into his sleeping bag, turning away from us. "Nighty-night, you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He laughed loud.

"Me too," Doug said, pulling off his underwear. "Boy slobbers. These puppies will never dry tonight."

Doug threw his underpants up on the window seal and rolled over toward me. "Move over, will ya," he said, and I scooted to the far side of my sleeping bag so we weren't pressed together any longer. Much to my surprise he lifted the corner of my bag and slid in with me. My erection was stretching the front of my underwear as our front ends rubbed together and our lips met.

"You said you wasn't doin' that stuff any more," Timmy said without rolling over to see what it was we were up to.

"I said I was trying to quit. You started it."

"Someone had to."

We were kissing again without me needing to look for his lips. He was in my arms and I was in his. I'd never felt that comfortable with anyone before.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 17

Near Perfect Union

Feeling Doug against me took my breath away. We stayed in each other's arms and as tired as I was, I became determined to stay awake so I didn't miss anything. His kisses were sweet and his body was magic. Our groins ground together forming a damp warm lubricant that kept us from grinding the skin off one another.

I felt weak and dizzy and hot all over, like when you get the flu, only it was nothing like the flu. As the passion in our kisses grew my back ended up against the sleeping bag and the floor with Doug lying on my chest. It took him a few minutes to get back up to speed but there was no doubt when the softness turned to stone. He thrust his iron against what now seemed like my modest display. He moaned when he slid his over my rigid appendage. I don't recall ever being harder or hotter than I was then. Doug was perfect for me and I for him in that moment.

He took his mouth off mine and pushed his face between my neck and shoulder, giving me a chance to breathe. He too seemed to be struggling to breathe as his lips moved gently on that tender skin under my ear. He nibbled, blowing hot air that got my wick burning at both ends. After the intensity died away a little I found myself in misery once I heard that slow easy breathing take hold of him. After fanning the flames that were devouring me, he had fallen asleep. I knew the sound and I knew it meant I was left high and dry and horny as hell.

Had this been George or even Greg, his sleep wouldn't have deterred me in the slightest. Only it wasn't Greg. I would take anything I could get from him any time I could get it. It was different with Doug. I didn't know how it was different, it just was. Using other boys any way they would allow me, was part of the game we all played back in their basement. I didn't feel that way about Doug. Of all the boys I'd met Doug was the one who understood me best. Somehow he knew more about me than he could know.

From the day he'd walked in on Greg and I, while we were getting acquainted on his pool table, I knew I'd end up with Doug. It wasn't a comfortable knowing and I didn't understand where the knowledge came from but I had it. Of all the boys I knew, Doug had the ability to do more harm to me than any of the others. I trusted none of them beyond the offer of thrills they furnished me. Greg lit me up like no one else could, but I never trusted him for a minute. I would gladly have spent next to forever with Doug and that made me vulnerable.

Sex had been about getting all I could get until Doug kissed me that night and then everything changed. His kisses had altered my world. The way he kissed me went beyond working on the sex thing. Now it was like having a half of something that was nothing without the other half. Lying there, needing relief, I also found that I wanted to hold him, comfort him, keeping him safe from the demons haunting the dark.

I listened to Doug as he was breathing while I dwelled between awake and asleep. In a sea of feelings I became lost in the recesses of my mind, slipping away to the land of nod. I dreamed dreams about what I wanted to do with him. My fingers touched his skin and transported the feel of him into my fantasies. He was what my dreams were made of. I'd never really been with anyone like I was with him. I was not alone.

I went from riding on placid seas to being tossed about by an angry ocean. I thought maybe I was at the river but there was no shoreline. There was a thundering that came from the waves crashing against rocks I couldn't see on a shore that was not there. I found myself on the crest of a wave, but I didn't have a board and I'd never used one. Then I was airborne, in flight, floating, falling, rising, all at once.

Before I opened my eyes I realized that Doug was gone from my arms but he hadn't gone far. I found he had moved down between my thighs while I slept. There was a swirling and twirling going on inside my brain as his tongue and lips did there best to torment me into submission. I was lifted from the hard concrete flooring, rising up into the heavens in one swift jerk. I reached for Doug's face, holding onto him for fear I might fall into nothingness.

His mouth drove me out of my mind. His gentle fingers touched and held me close as he finally took all I had to give. I was down in his constricting throat and my excited cock flesh throbbed insanely. I arched my back and pulled his face down harder. I could only think that I wanted as much of this wonderful searing pain as I could get. My insides were churning as I felt like I was a foot long and growing deeper into his throat.

The night sky twinkled behind him as I opened my eyes to examine where I was. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming this or not but the feel of Doug on me had to be real. Nothing I'd ever experienced had gotten me this worked up. I closed my eyes again just in case it was a dream. I didn't want to take a chance that I might wake up before it was done. Then my body started to shake as I was gulping even more air and my shooting star took me off across the universe with Doug affixed. He took me to the outer reaches of our solar system and back in an instant. I gasped and gurgled and twitched without control.

My body shook as I held him down and not in a gentle way. My hips rose and my body jerked on his mouth. We were riding a wave through the heavens as he pulled me up and into him with his hands, holding me so there was no escaping. For those last erupting seconds we were part of the same body. He became welded to my comet of love and seemed content to ride it.

The hard concrete floor came up to meet us as the reality of the world slowly drifted back into my life. My heavenly host had stayed with me through the entire ride.

"I don't do that for everyone," the sweet lilt of his voice drifted into my ear as I worked on staying conscious.

His lips were next to my ear when he spoke and his body was once again pressing into my arms. We were immediately kissing.

"Was it okay?"

"Okay? Okay? It was wonderful. I've never... I didn't...."

"Shhh! Shhh!" Doug said. "I wanted to do that to you since that first day."

Doug lips were once again at the center of my world. He was perfect. The night was perfect and I couldn't imagine anything being as special as that moment in time. For the first time I'd melded totally with another human being. My sense of well being was complete. This was what I had been looking for.

*****

I don't know what it was about that place or if maybe it was what was happening to my body, but whatever it was, Doug and I were sleeping again before I knew it. I half woke with him in my arms and drifted back away after a futile struggle with my eyes. Then I woke with my chest on his back and my arms were around him. I had grown back to full glory and it had crawled up into the warm moist crack of his ass. Once again my feelings for Doug awakened the lust that had been too long asleep inside of me. I'd never felt anything like what I was feeling for him.

I failed in my effort to resist temptation, not that I spent much time wrestling with it. For two or three minutes I let my passion loose in his crack, letting that flesh hold me the way it must have been designed to hold a man's desire close to his love. When a super human effort had me determined to leave him alone, his hands closed on my wrists and he pulled my hands up to his face, kissing one and then the other, letting his tongue lick them.

My mind was already a flutter from what I was doing to him and his lips sealed the deal. I had all the approval I needed for my aberrant behavior. I thought I would be satisfied with a few more quick thrusts but my body was having none of that, especially after his arm reached around me to pull me closer to him. I was helpless to deny him. I had to be dreaming. There was no way he wanted me to....

His ass pressed back hard against my steal blade. He was making himself available for anything I had in mind to do to him. I was hesitant when it came to breaking through his restraint. It was short lived after he took me in his deft fingers, placing me at his port of entry. There was a deliciously super warmed silken feel to what was becoming a damp spot on his bottom.

The resistance was substantial at first but with both of us working at it, the tissue separated enough to allow me to gain a foothold. By rolling my weight onto my thrusting spike at the same time he was forcing his ass back on me, we breached the opening lustily. I gasped as a long low sigh came out of him, but then, he reached behind him to put a stop to the progress we were making. He denied me the very thing I desperately needed at the instant I was ready to plunge forward.

He had closed tightly on my shaft just below my cockhead. It was a tight collar that had me feeling huge. I was pulsing wildly against his tender hot inner flesh. I fought to stay in control of my own body. Then his fingers were relenting a little, allowing me another inch or maybe two before they once again slowed my progress to a stop. I was both overheated and agonizingly disappointed by the delayed progress. The further inside of him I went, the further I needed to go. His once anxious posture had given way to caution.

It was when I thought I couldn't possibly wait another second longer that he set me free with the reminder, "Go slow, okay? You've go to do it slow at first or it hurts for days afterward."

"Yeah," I agreed, being willing to say anything to get us on to the main event.

Our momentum once again came back into concert as he pushed back on me as I pushed forward, locking my position each step of the way to assure that he couldn't take back anything he gave up to me. The deeper I sank the more incredible was the feel of him against my overheated hotrod. My cockhead massaging his delicate channel at the same time his tight ring was massaging my shaft. It was ecstasy. Never before had my dick been so well connected to my sensory perceptions. It was like being born.

As soon as he released his grip on me I was pushing forward for all I was worth until my pubes were against his hole. Once I realized the entry and docking was complete, my mind whirled with the wonderful pleasure and yet my desire demanded more, and this time there was no reluctance from Doug.

"Okay," Doug said, pulling my arms back around him, holding my hands on his chest as it swelled with air and more.

"Okay," I said, wanting him to verify it was okay to proceed at my own speed.

"Okay," he said, giving me permission without stipulation.

If there were limits I would find them. He pushed his ass down tight on me. When he stopped his backward movement, I timed my withdrawal to coincide with his move forward. After giving up an inch, I quickly pushed back, fearing he might desert me if I gave up too much ground. When he continued working with me, I repeat my motion, giving up a little more ground each time.

"Uh!" He said in a pleasing release of air.

Each time I penetrated him totally a sound burst from him in various tones and volumes that were directly related to how hard or how gently I collided with his bottom. I imagined the noise to be his mantra to our love. As I listened closely to the arousing song I heard my own grunts joining his to form this strange symphony that accompanied our carnal endeavors.

We did a half a role until I was on top of Doug's back. The sleeping bag was pulled down off us as our sweat dampened our bodies. The cool night air felt good on my naked skin. I now held myself up with my arms as I kneeled behind him, driving relentlessly as his body rocked and the moans escaped. I found myself trying to watch my own cock appearing and then disappearing back inside him.

The noise we made was echoing through the cinderblock room. I panted and found it difficult to get enough air. My heart thumped heavily in my chest. No matter how much distress there was in this activity, I could stop or even slow down. It had gone far beyond my control by the time I was up to full speed. There would be no stopping me now, or so I thought.

As I watched my cock stretching his hole it was only a blur in the too subtle light of the moon. I knew we were getting close as our grunts and groans mingled with the frogs and the crickets. In my delirium it sounded like a voice. I pushed the idea away as I got closer. Then, I thought I heard someone's name.

"Timmy!" a voice said from the open doorway.

"What?" Timmy answered immediately.

"Come on. I want to talk to you," Greg said in a whisper.

I lay on Doug's back without coming out of him. I couldn't stop but Greg's voice had certainly slowed my momentum. I felt overexposed. We all waited as the room grew silent except for Doug and me and our heavy breathing.

"Okay, better than listening to these two go at it all night. At least I can sleep once you're finished."

Doug was silent and I refused to look at Greg. I could feel his eyes on my bare fucking ass. He said nothing, which made it worse. I knew he wanted to curse me. I don't know how I knew.

"They wouldn't let you play?" Greg asked in a quiet monotone.

"I got mine. Then they started up. I haven't slept since. I was jacking off when you showed up."

Timmy went out past Greg as I glanced in his direction, pretending to watch Timmy's exit, as I lay naked on Doug who kept his face away from the door. Greg was standing in the doorway watching us. He had a tent in his boxers and his fingers were examining it from outside the cotton. When I glanced again, he was gone. The cool night air and Greg had done the impossible. I stayed inside Doug but without the passion I'd just had. My wick kept me warm, taking the heat from Doug's innards and transferring it into my own. I lay there on top of him wondering how I could be caught between them.

"You done?" Doug asked, pulling my hands under him as our faces lay together.

"For awhile," I said, not knowing how to answer or how to explain. I was still as hard as ever but there was no get up and go in my erection. I was content lying there with him like that, thinking about what Greg thought of me.

"You know he don't care nothing about you. Why do you like him?"

"I don't know," I said, confessing my sin to the only person I was capable of loving just then.

"We need to switch sleeping bags," Doug said. "I'm sorry. I just loaded yours up. I'm a mess too. You didn't get off did you?"

"Okay," I said, really not wanting to give him up.

Not having either of them was the only thing worse than wanting both of them.

"You didn't did you?"

"No!" I said as I eased out of him while he made me do it slowly.

Having to leave the warmth of him was disturbing. I felt suddenly alone again. Doug stood in the corner and peed into a tube and funnel that had been attached to the wall. He used a towel that was near the bedding before tossing it to me.

"Come on. We can use mine. I don't know if Timmy will be back but you never can tell about that boy. We can get another sleeping bag if you want to sleep alone."

"Yours is fine."

We once against ended up with my chest on his back and he was in my arms. I had lost none of my stiffness and when he felt it on his crack, he put his hand on me and slid it back inside him just like that. This time it was a warm smooth entry with no resistance. I figured I must have been getting the hang of it.

"That's better," he said. "That way I know if you get up."

"Yeah, that's a whole lot better," I said, meaning every word. I've never...."

I don't know why words were so hard for me to find some times. Why I opened my big mouth without having a clue how to finish what I started to say is beyond me. My words lingered and ended right in the middle of saying nothing to him. I felt like a dork. Doug ended the awkward silence for me after letting me stew for a few seconds.

"I know," he said as he pressed against me. "I'm all you got tonight though. He'll keep Timmy busy. You can go with him tomorrow night if you want. It's okay. I just want you for myself tonight."

Our closeness didn't allow me to consider sleep for a long time. Feeling him in my arms was good but I still felt bad. Being inside him made it better. While he snored I finished what I started hours before. I did it so slowly he never knew. It didn't take but a half a minute once I decided I couldn't hold off all night like that.

He was still breathing that heavy deep sleep sound when after I was done and had gone limp. I thought I was in love with Doug. I knew I loved Greg.

I finally fell asleep.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 18

Dueling Axes

How much later it was I don't know, but my eyes were blinking from the brilliant light of the new day. It had found its way right into my face as the sun shinned through the branches of distant trees. There was smoke rising out just in front of the window. It alarmed me at first until I leaned up on my elbows to see Greg's father working over the grill where he had cooked the evening meal.

"Morning," he said as I shivered up close to the grill.

"Morning," I said feeling chilled to the bone.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Good!"

"What's that?" I inquired, watching his leather hands turning the mystery meat that looked a lot like chicken.

"This," he said picking up a piece off the fire. "That's rabbit. Dwight and I picked it out at the market last night."

"Dwight? I don't guess I met him, huh?"

"Dwight stays aloof. He's my black lab. He's out doing his own business this morning. He does that. Independent sort. I try not to crowd him if I can help it."

"There's a market up here? I thought...?" My confusion was obvious.

"This entire mountain is a market, Martin."

He chuckled as we talked and he mostly paid attention to the food. He talked about the hunt, when he found me curious about this outdoor market. He'd gone out after we all went to bed. He'd shot rabbit, brought it back, cleaned it, and when I woke up, he was cooking it for breakfast. Time wasn't something I knew much about then. I didn't think there was time enough for him to get in all that stuff and still find time to sleep, but Greg's father always had plenty of time to do whatever needed doing.

"I thought we might see you this morning," Greg's father said.

I was confused as I thought he was talking to the rabbit he was attending. I turned to see August Moon easing himself down off the slope behind us. He sat himself at the corner of the cinderblock wall, just behind us. How Greg's father knew anyone was behind us, I can't say. How he knew it wasn't Greg or Greg's mother coming from the house, I can't say that either. I did notice it though.

"Morning, sir," he said softly. He then said, "Hi" to me and nodded with a kind of a smile.

Augie wore a pair of faded blue jeans that looked a couple years old and he was still trying to pack himself into them. They hugged his body like a second skin and his thighs looked like they might burst through the cloth. I couldn't help but notice the crotch and how his equipment ran off to the left and down his leg. I forced my eyes up into his eyes too late. He already caught my eyes on him. He didn't give any response to my intent.

"My employer took off for the weekend. I'm all alone up on the property. I'm not good with alone. He left me money but no food. I was just out walking and I noticed your fire. I don't know anyone up here to speak of."

I remembered the girl we'd found seated on his lap.

"You know us," Greg's father said.

"Yes, sir. I was aiming on asking if I could have a ride in town when you go. So's I can buy me some supplies."

"Have a seat, son. This is about ready for the early bird special. I think you both qualify."

Greg's father grabbed a huge orange coffeepot off the back of the grill. He poured pure black liquid into blue metal cups. He grabbed the two cups so the handles stood out and he handed one of the steaming containers to each of us. Even the metal handle seemed too hot to handle for me. I sat the cup beside me on the concrete slab. Augie sipped it and exchanged glances with me again. His eyes were remarkably dark but not at all threatening.

"Glad I don't need to eat alone," Greg's father said, turning the meat as he sang the words. He placed pieces on paper plates. He turned potatoes and broke eggs into an iron skillet that he thrust over the grill.

The smoke curled up over our heads while the leathered man replaced the rabbit he took from the grill with more fresh cleaned meat that he took from a cooler next to the grill. He shoved a plate full of food at each of us. He sat in the chair he'd used the night before. We ate in silence, focusing in on the incredible taste of the food, but before long there were more tales being spun from the morning dew. The taste of the rabbit was like nothing I'd ever tasted. Eating my fill I barely gave a thought to any Easter Bunny I'd known.

"I appreciate this," Augie said between bites. "Perhaps there are some chores you'd let me do for you."

"Greg's trying to cut the summer supply of wood by the looks of it. If you'd like to give him a hand, he'd like that. Gloves and axes in the tool shed. It's not required."

Greg's father had a voice that was bathed in gravel and a laugh that gave away the amusement he seemed to find in much of the life he'd lived. Sitting there that morning was the final time I recognized the man's ethnicity. When I look back at those events, he was no doubt the most intelligent man I'd ever known. Back then it was the fact that he treated me like I was his friend and therefore his equal and this drew me into everything he said. It wasn't an experience I'd known from any other adult.

I was never comfortable around adults until I met Greg's mother and father. Perhaps I was growing up and ready for adult relationships and equality with them, but I suspect it had more to do with the way they treated me. Whatever it was, I liked these people and I would always find enjoyment in spending time with them. It was a good time for me to grow. The thing I liked most was there was no pressure for me to be anything but who I was.

I also started to understand how Greg and Doug had such strong characters. They were encouraged to be themselves, whatever that was. Greg's mother and father treated all of us the same. We were all their sons when we were around. They weren't pushy about it and Greg rebelled against this treatment we got, but he was shut down immediately when he protested too loudly.

"You have a story," Greg's father said after filling August Moon's cup with boiling hot coffee. He sat back down looking at his own cup as though he were seeing something in the steam as it swirled out of the container.

"Story?" Augie said, uncertain.

"This one is as pure as the driven snow," he said, leaning forward to rub my hair roughly and putting me a little off balance in my chair. "He doesn't have a story yet. You, my friend, have a story weighing on you. It hides in your eyes and marks your face."

"I'm not that innocent," I objected as though the conversation was about me. "I think about stuff all the time. I don't always think nice stuff either."

My confession was painful for me. I wasn't sure how it would be received. I felt like I had to be honest.

"Ah, I did not say purity. I said innocence. There is a difference you know. Thoughts don't count my young friend. We all think many thoughts. Some times we don't have much control over where our minds take us. When we act on our thoughts, that's when we lose innocence. You're still full of innocence, Martin. The eyes tell all and yours are clear. Your heart is good but perhaps confused. Time takes care of the confusion."

"Not entirely," I said, wishing I could tell him about what I felt for his sons.

"We all want things we can't have. We all imagine having them. Right, August. You want what you can not have? But that doesn't stop you, does it?"

What did he know? What did he see in that steam? Had someone said something to him? We sat silent for a spell. I looked at Augie's face for a clue but it was the same face I'd seen before.. He looked like a boy and he was built like a man.

"And sometimes we take them without permission," August said. "The things we want. I'll never be innocent again."

"You've found trouble in wanting what is not yours. Things have no value. Only what is inside you is of value. If you have your honor and your heart, you will be rich beyond your dreams."

"I stole a car. I was in prison until a few weeks ago. Ten days to be exact, tomorrow. I'm on work release. I've got to stay up here until they say different or until I'm eighteen. That's August."

"Ah, and the moon stood high and full the night you were born!"

"That's what they tell me."

"And you now have a chance to find August Moon. You have paid for your mistake. You can reclaim your honor."

"They don't figure I can get into much trouble stashing me up here. You can make trouble no matter where you are if you have a mind to. I don't though."

"I see. You are changed. Prison is nowhere to for a boy. You have seen a lot for one so young."

"I don't feel young. I feel like I'm about a million years old. Prison is no place for a boy but it's a good place for a boy to learn the truth about life."

"It is a place that can make you better."

"When you are treated like an animal, you can become bitter."

"The truth in jail is not the truth in life. You were done a wrong being put in a cage with grown men. It must have been a difficult place for a boy who looks like you to survive. It's best to get it behind you now that you own your life again."

"Yeah, well, you learn quick. You pick out someone that can protect you and you give him anything he wants for the protection."

"How long did it take for you to learn this?"

"One weekend is all. I'd have made a deal with the devil by the end of that first weekend."

"You had dealt with the devil who put you there," Greg's father said. "You are still a boy, only you've seen things no boy should see."

"What happened?" Timmy asked, coming off the slope and easing up beside Augie, leaning against the cinderblock wall with his arms across his chest for warmth. Augie handed him his hot cup of coffee and Timmy held it to his body taking the warmth off the cup for his hands, sipping sparingly and mostly enjoying the heat.

"You seem like you're still in a cage," Greg's father said. "You can breathe free air here. Let it go if you can. We don't care what you've done, only what you do, and I have no doubt you will do good. You made a mistake and any man who says he hasn't made a mistake either hasn't lived, or he lies."

Greg moved down off the slope with his arms folded on his naked chest. He spaced it so it didn't look like he came down with Timmy, but the timing was too close for them to have woken up individually and then one at a time came out. He was the only one to come out shirtless but he looked no colder than the rest of us. He moved toward the grill and the coffee and offered the pot around before pouring his own. He seemed relaxed. He seemed just like the rest of us. It was the first time he hadn't stuck out to me.

"Don't feel free," Augie said. "I'm on probation until I'm eighteen. The guy can send me back with a word. I've got to do what I'm told or else. I'll always be a con. A breed, a con, a loser."

"You are what you say you are, and I'll accept who you say you are. That's why you learn from your mistakes, son. Once you've worked your way out of this trouble, you'll know to let trouble pass you by from here on out. I know a little about the law and you can get your juvenile record sealed once you're eighteen."

"Really! Even if I was tried as an adult?"

"That will need to be looked into. A good lawyer can do wonders. We'll be here every weekend from now on. You stay close and we'll see that nothing else happens to you."

"That's the reason I got prison. I don't got no money for lawyers. I got in trouble at my last two foster homes. Then I stole the car. The prosecutor said I'm incorrigible. That's pretty bad."

"Do they speak the truth?"

"I don't know, sir. Everything I did was for a reason. I got in a fight with a guy that thought I was pretty enough to be his girl. I convinced him different but got tossed out because of it."

"You look big enough to take care of yourself," Greg said, having noticed the contours of Augie's muscles.

"I was one-thirty until I got locked up. Sort of a runt for six foot one. Lifting weights for six months beefed me up to one sixty. Wasn't anything else to do in there."

"Damn! I wrestle one sixty-eight," Greg said, checking him closely and not missing the bulge. "What happened after you got tossed?"

"They moved me to a house where I was the oldest male, figuring I might do better without older guys around. I got in trouble with a girl. She thought I was pretty too, they all did, but I didn't want to fight them. We got caught at it and there was a scene. Stuff came out that got everyone in hot water."

"All?" Greg said, hanging on every word.

"Yeah, there were four girls and five guys besides me. Three of the girls were doing the guys before I got there, but I was the one they caught at it. I'm not good at sneaking around. The girl tried to save me by squealing on everyone. There was only one girl and the youngest boy that weren't doing it."

"You were doing three girls?" Greg asked with astonishment in his voice. "They lived in the same house? I should get in foster care."

"I never said I was doing three. I only admitted to the one. First night she came into where I was sleeping and woke me up when she started up with me.... I'd always been in homes with guys. I figured it must be how things worked. It's not like I minded at all."

"Ain't that the truth," Greg agreed. "I think three a night is about right."

"Three a night could wear you down fast, dude," Augie declared.

"I'd like to take your word for it, but it's the kind of thing I want to know for myself."

"That girl at the clubhouse? You get with her last night? Did her brother watch?" Timmy asked.

"I wish. I haven't done anything with girls since I got locked up. She had her hand right on...." Augie stopped and looked at Greg's father. "She wanted to get right to it, sir. I knew it was dangerous but my brain isn't as strong as my dick."

"You were going to get with her in front of her brother?" Greg said.

"He set it up. Told me she was messing with his friends but he had to stay with her if we went off. Not a problem when it comes to pussy."

"Why would you need to steal a car?" Greg's father interrupted the hotter trend in our conversation.

"Same reason I couldn't buy me a real lawyer."

"Real lawyer?"

"Yeah, mine met me just before trial. I'd never seen him before. He spent five minutes together. Well, not exactly together, four minutes he was on the phone stalling off another case that he was supposed to hear at the same time as mine. He said if I didn't take the year I'd get five years. He said he worked hard to get me the deal. He said to take it and it would all be over. Right! It hadn't even started. In county they kept me by myself."

"Didn't you have any people to look out for you?"

"People? Relatives? Tribal council? Anything?"

"Just that lawyers and the guy what said I was incorrigible. I never saw no one else the three weeks I was up there."

"Why steal a car? You seem smarter than that," Greg's father observed.

"I heard my brother was in North Carolina. I had no way to get there. Ain't seen him since.... For a long time."

"Was he in North Carolina?"

"I don't know. I took the car from the front of a convenience store. Some guy jumped out and left it running. I jumped in and took off. They called the cops and pulled me over at the Interstate two miles up. A cop was waiting at the ramp for me. Flagged my ass down. Great police work."

"You didn't resist?" Greg's father asked.

"No, I knew I couldn't outrun his radio even if I could scoot past him. I didn't want to make him mad. He was cool. I haven't seen him since my daddy died. That's when we was separated. He's younger and probably don't remember me."

"You been locked up ever since?" Timmy asked.

"Yeah, I thought I might die up there. I never want to go back. I've never been confined before. Foster homes are cake compared to the joint. About the only thing you can do on your own time is piss. There's a lot of trouble inside. I don't miss it."

"You're outside now. You'll be fine. I'm going hunting again tonight. There's a badger up there I'd like to get. Want to come along?"

"Sure. Was that your dog I heard in the meadows last night?" August asked.

"Dwight!"

"Good hunter?" August asked.

"I've owned dogs all my life. This is the best hunter of them all. You going with, Greg?"

"Sure, Pops," Greg said, eyeballing Augie. "That girl from the clubhouse still around?"

"Yeah, she'll turn up. Wants me bad. Little brother comes with her though?"

"I'll figure a way to get rid of him," Greg advised.

"That's what I thought until she said he had to stay with her."

"You'd a done it in front of her little brother," Greg said, laughing.

"I'm hard up enough I'd have done it in front of her old man," Augie said as they related to one another. "Oh, excuse me, sir. It's been awhile. You understand. A man's got to be a man when he can."

"Augie wants to help you chop wood, son. You don't mind?"

"No, these little kids can't handle an ax. We'll go up to the clubhouse after," Greg said.

"Sure!" Augie said.

He locked eyes with Augie and Augie stared right back at Greg. Greg got up and poured his father's cup full without asking and then did the same for Augie. They stared at each other after the pouring was done. Each had a question about the other but I have no clue what they were.

I held my cup out as Greg backed away and he turned away without looking at me, "Get your own fucking coffee, asshole." I felt a little hurt.

"Greg!" His father firmly.

"Can't help it if he is," Greg said, flashing me a glare that froze my blood. He made sure it took before he looked away.

His father watched us and it was obvious there were hostilities in the wind. I wasn't sure what the fuck his problem was but what's new. I never could figure him out.

"Where's your momma?" Timmy asked, reaching out and putting his hand on Augie's forearm in the most tender way.

"That's a story too long to get into, sport. She ain't around."

"Can't she help you? I'll help you."

"I wouldn't have been in foster homes all my life if she could. I don't go no one, sport, and I can't even help myself."

Greg's abs looked amazing as he turned back to sit on the dirt wall next to the patio. The front of his jeans hung down to the top of his golden pubic hair but no further. He seemed to climb inside the cup as his sleepy eyes assessed the new day. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside that head of his.

After everyone ate their fill, Augie went out and got some gloves and an ax from the tin shed. He went up to where Greg had been chopping down trees and he started cutting one up that was lying on the ground. He'd used an ax before but he was clearing a lot for someone up where he was living.

Greg watched him awhile and then he too went to the shed to get some tools. He tapped Augie's shoulder and traded axe's with him. Once again Augie's deep brooding eyes locked in Greg's sparkling gems for longer than need be. They were taking the measure of one another and I thought Greg would find a way to run Augie off his turf when it was all said and done.

Greg went to work in a furious pace as the morning sun got above the trees for the first time. Sweat ran down Greg's muscles and they glistened and looked awesome, and then Augie pulled off his shirt. His arms and chest were cut deep and his thick shoulders narrowed down to a miniscule waist that was also cut tightly. His skin was pinkish but had a deep red tint that made him look a little like he was blushing all over. His muscles bulged and shinned as the sweat dripped down his back and off his elbows.

Augie worked behind Greg and matched him stroke for stroke. Greg never turned to see Augie's progress because he could hear it. It was like a serenade with the axes in near perfect harmony, one striking only an instant before the other. Over and over again at what seemed like an obsessive pace. From time to time Greg would stop and then Augie stopped and the silence was incredible, and then you could hear the birds and the frogs and that rushing river until the chopping began anew.

Doug came out and stood beside me, staring at the dueling woodcutters. Even Greg's father stood for a few minutes watching the two boys as they wore themselves down. He shook his head as if he knew something about the mission they had embarked upon. He seemed to understand that he was powerless to change the inevitability of the conflict and anyone's attempt to intervene would be futile. There was no reasoning with whatever unreasonable quest they had set out to accomplish.

"They'll be at that for awhile," he said, moving past Doug and I to head into his garden to turn more soil.

Greg stopped, reaching for the cold water he'd brought out before he had started. He saw Augie's body for the first time and he examined it as he drank, never taking his eyes off him. He saw me standing beside Doug and he immediately flipped us the bird in one bold and angry motion. He grabbed the ax and I wondered what was on his mind as he whacked away on the tree.

"I wish he hadn't walked in on us last night," Doug said. "He will find a way to use that against us."

"Why? What does he care?"

"You heard him. He was going to ask you to come down with him. In other words you should have been in his bed last night. I don't think he came down with Timmy in mind when he caught us. He figured I'd be sleeping because I sleep like a rock most of the time. He knew you'd jump at the change to get with him."

"Me?" I asked.

"You! He'll be impossible because I was with you. We should steer clear of him today if we can."

"He'll forget about it?" I asked hopefully.

"No, the king don't forgets. He'll occupy himself with someone else until he gets a chance to fuck us over," Doug said. "I don't know why I did that last night. I know better."

"I'm glad you did, Doug. I've wanted to.... I don't know what I wanted to but I know I like you a lot."

"Martin, I can't be what you want. Yeah, I get carried away like most guys when someone gets them worked up. And I take spells when I want sex all the time, but it isn't all my life is about. There are spells when I don't want sex. I like girls, not that it does me much good, but I still have hopes."

"Why did you do it, then? You didn't have to do it. I'm going to like you no matter what."

"You never hear what people say, Martin. You only hear what you want to pick out of what they say. Sometimes I don't think we're having the same conversation."

"What are you talking about. You said you wish you hadn't. God, you were great. I've never been with anyone like I was with you last night."

"That's what I'm talking about. That was last night, okay. This is today. Don't be expecting that side of me to always turn up."

"I don't expect anything, Doug. I was stupefied by what you did... not what you did, but the fact you did it with me," I said, suddenly feeling in a state of grace. "You were so good. It was so good. Wow!"

"I'm the brother of a pervert. It's what you learn when your brother is a sex fiend and all he associates with are more sex fiends. Since I was ten it's been like that."

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to do anything that makes you unhappy."

"It's like smoking or drinking. Once you try it, you always got a taste for it even after you quit. The right things happen, and you light up. Last night was like that. Only Timmy lit the smoke and you smoked it."

"No way you were just lighting up. You did stuff I've never done," I said. "You did it good. My dick's still hard. I don't think I been soft more than two minutes since you...."

"You think that makes me feel good? I can do that for another guy? Yeah, I like what I'm doing when I'm doing it but I don't want to be doing when I'm not," he said like it made perfect sense to at least one of us.

Doug's eyes moved to the front of my pants. He found the bulge and he didn't make an effort to keep me from seeing him looking right at it. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to slap him silly. He was a lot like Greg, only the reverse side of the same coin. Both of them confused the hell out of me and I was going to take whatever I could get whenever I could get. That's what I knew just then.

"You're more fucked up than me. I not only liked it I loved it. I'm just glad you did it. Any time you get the urge, give me a call. You were great. That's all I got to say about that."

Doug went up in the house and I stood, still enjoying the chopping competition. I thought about them turning on each other with the axes, and then I thought about them going hunting that night with real guns. My mind gave me a picture of them hunkered down behind logs firing at one another as dear and rabbit are leaping all around them, trying to escape the barrage.

I pictured the three of them and Dwight running across a field with a gigantic black bear chasing them.

I wanted to say I'd go hunting too, but then I would face the prospect of being expected to kill something and I wouldn't. I figured enough stuff got itself kilt without my help.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 19

Water Water, Everywhere...

Greg's father turned soil in the garden, standing up to his ankles in the black earth while Augie and Greg continued their wood war. I watched them until my back ached and then I went to find Doug, hoping to reprise our early morning passion. I had been hard since almost immediately after we finished, and watching the bulging muscles of the chopping twins merely enhanced my already ready desire for an encore. I couldn't get my mind off the boys around me.

I stood in the kitchen and pumped up a blue plastic glass full of fresh cool water, trying to imagine what I could say to light Doug's fire once more. I remembered what he told me and I played that against what I knew, and there was something wrong with his words. They didn't match up at all with what I'd seen him do.

Doug sat in the living room with green yarn wound around his two hands as his mother rolled it into a big green ball. They sat in front of the huge picture window and I could see just one tiny corner of the river. Doug's eyes stayed in the far right corner of the window, looking down. I knew what he was watching. He could see the wood choppers from where he sat.

They didn't notice me and after I finished my water I left them, walking back onto the slope, looking back over my shoulder. For a second Doug's eyes were on me before he lost interest and went back to his brother and Augie. It was then that the silence hit me. There was no chopping going on. I was surprised to hear birds and forest sounds. When I looked into the forest where I'd left the two warriors, I saw Greg and Augie, arms outstretched, fingers locked, naked chest pinned to naked chest as their arms moved up and down in measured motion designed to knock their opponent off balance.

Augie was taller by two or three inches and his muscles were cut deeper. Greg was by far the wider of the two, although his arms seemed slightly shorter than Augie's. Greg's muscles were more symmetrical. Which of them was stronger was hard to determine, because, like with the chopping, it was a standoff with one refusing to yield to the other.

"Look at the front of their pants," Timmy said, easing up beside me and putting his hand on my arm. "They been at it ever since you went in. Fuckers are both hard up."

It was true. The front of their jeans were pressed tight together and they both had bulging assets that couldn't be hidden when their hips rotated together and then apart in a way that had to torment both of them in a bad way. As they were grinding their chests together they did the same thing with their crotches, only it was different with both their erections pushing against and then sliding up and down, one on the other. Their faces echoed their duel purposes, teeth bared, jaws clenched, eyes drooping with passion, and cheeks an inch apart as they panted hot air on one another. It was a tough and tender battle of lust.

Their chests became all but immobilized except for tiny motions that had their cheeks rubbing before reflex made one or the other of them flinch ever so slightly from this familiarity. The front of their pants rubbed more aggressively as they used their legs in an effort to force the other back off the slope, except that motions had become more than a weapon in the search for a way to dominate the other.

Neither of them could best the other nor could they yield or call it off without admitting his sin. What else could it be when you backed away from your opponent, showing him how turned on you'd become from his touch. Most bold and red blooded boys would rather die than face the fact that they had popped a woody while engaging another guy in mortal combat. As big a pervert as Greg was in my eyes he couldn't admit to Augie, or himself, that he got hard up from their physical contact.

I was sure Augie was no better prepared to admit his attraction to Greg. It wasn't so much an attraction as it was a war of happenstance, which had escalated to the point they were using all of their lustful weaponry. This was merely one more battlefront on which each boy fought for the high ground so he could gain an advantage, only the more aware they became of this new direction the battle was taking, the less capable they were of turning the tide. The longer their bodies stayed glued together the less likely it was they'd be able to back away without some admission by one of them that they had enough of this engagement.

There was only one purpose for the competition to continue as far as I could see. Each of them was in denial about who and what he was. I knew Greg well enough to know this wasn't all that distasteful to him, but I was just beginning to understand that Augie's life was in some ways just as complicated as Greg's had become. He seemed normal, considering what he'd been through. He'd been with the girl and that meant he was straight, except there was her little brother who seemed as smitten with Augie as the rest of us, but closer, if you know what I mean.

I'd heard the things Timmy said Augie let him do to him and now there was Greg, and the doubts about what Timmy said were gone. Augie had let him hold his hand and feel his crotch, and what the fuck did that mean? Greg and him would explain it away after it ended or they'd forget it ever happened, if we let them. I wouldn't forget their intimacy. I wanted to believe in Augie because he seemed so badly to need us to be believers, only, he didn't even believe in himself. He'd sold out somewhere down the line, and he couldn't find his way back to who he was, and so now his cock gave him away even when his words denied it.

I looked back up at the window and saw Doug, staring down at them. I didn't believe him either. Doug said one thing while doing something else. I didn't want anyone to do anything they didn't want to do but not doing what you wanted to do, because it was easier on you, wasn't an option for me. He was the best of us and the worst of us at the same time. A guy that looked like Doug couldn't make himself available and figure people would leave him alone because he said that's what he really wanted, because if that's what he really wanted, he wouldn't be getting naked with us and instigating sex with me.

It was still impossible for me to understand all the contradictions that came with the sex I found so appealing. I knew what I was and I knew what I felt. I tried to respect what other people said they felt, and yet what they did and what they said were just the opposite. How did anyone figure out where they stood with anyone else if they were all so full of bullshit about it? I loved Doug and I respected him but I'd do whatever he'd let me get away with for as long as he'd let me and I'd ignore it when he told me how much he didn't want to do the things he did.

I took my eyes back from Doug and watched the two boys press their cheeks together in gentle increments that came with exhaustion. Their arms seemed to have lost strength and they were mostly leaning against each other. When their cheeks brushed, it took longer each time for them to get separated until they were caught in a perpetual hug that neither wanted, nor could he prevent. Their arms had lost the battle and were merely attachments that kept them locked in this seductive pose. Greg's mouth gapped, his eyes were closed, his hips jerked a few times against Augie's and when his rested, Augie's answered as bursts of air came from both of them.

I could hardly breathe and the smell of them had drifted out of the forest over the ten feet that separated us from them. It wafted into my nose. It was all Greg and there was that smell of soil that ran underneath his smell. I was panting and Timmy had pressed his arm against mine and the heat from his body seemed to be boiling out of him and into me.

"Pussy," Greg growled unconvincing. Sweat was apparent all over his body and dripping down his face as his muscles tightened in a desperate attempt to wrestle victory from what was an obvious standoff.

"Prick," Augie answered with no sign that he was about to give up.

"Bastard," Greg replied as their chests slid back and forth on one another as he made one last effort to gain an advantage with his last spurt of energy. As their cheeks came together the last burst of activity all but stopped. They stood pressed one to the other. I waited for Greg's arms to lower to embrace his opponent as they kissed and fondled one another's hard prick, but it only happened in my mind's eye. Nothing came of this new melding move, or nothing came that I was aware of anyway. They were both soaked.

I'll never know what was going on inside their jeans beyond their erections. One can only imagine what it was they were feeling because they stayed silent. One would jerk his body against the other in a halfhearted attempt to make something happen. A few seconds later the other responded with his own unsuccessful attempt before relaxing back together, too tough to be the one to admit defeat.

"Jailbird," Greg insulted without conviction.

"Halfbreed!" Augie accused.

"Okay," Greg's father ordered as he glanced up at the combatants, "That's enough of that. We don't use that word, August. You two should hit the showers and cool off."

He only looked up for a second, but it was long enough to get the idea that there was something about that word he didn't care for at all. It was one of the few times I heard a direct order come from the Colonel. The two bulls were only doing what bulls did, and he didn't seem to be much worried about that.

"You son of a bitch," Greg said growling as their chests collided in a smacking burst of energy just before they both tumbled onto the slope, laughing hysterically, probably because they had found a way out. Each rested on his back, panting through the laughter and all implications of what was really going between them was lost in the jocularity of the moment, lost on all but me.

"You're strong," Augie admitted with no further clarification.

"You're not bad," Greg answered. "Want to go swimming? The old man's right, I need to cool down."

This did get a response from Augie. His eyes immediately surveyed Greg who lay near his feet. He didn't miss the bulging in his jeans. Augie's was no less obvious from where I stood. They were no longer pressing together and Augie seemed to have no particular interest in the weapon beyond the fact it looked substantial, or so his eyes told me. He did roll onto his stomach to hide his own excitement when he caught both Timmy and me looking down at it and him. He looked up in our faces and he was blushing even redder than usual.

"Yeah, I'm boiling. I don't have my suit though," Augie said.

"Don't use 'em. I got nothin' to be ashamed of. We got a place down behind the property. No one is building this far down yet."

"Sounds okay."

"There's a great mud pool nearby. Takes the ache out of sore muscles." Greg rubbed his arms as he spoke while Augie listened carefully.

I wandered down the hill past the garden after Greg and Augie left the stand of trees headed toward the river. At the corner of the property Greg was already naked and testing the rope. Augie sat behind him and next to the tree, he had pulled off one shoe and was working on his sock as he watched Greg. His endowment was arching out of his curly patch, half-hard and in that inviting way that told you about what was on the boy's mind.

"You're big," Augie said, moving his eyes back to his shoes.

"None bigger I seen," Greg said, facing him as he put his weight on the rope and smiled an evil little smile. His dick was less than a foot from Augie's face.

"You haven't been to jail," Augie said, standing to unbuckle his pants as Timmy ran into my back when I stopped short so I didn't interrupt their conversation.

"Like I said, you ain't been to jail."

"I don't believe it. He's going to get him too. I don't want to see this," Timmy complained softly, turning back toward the house.

"They got dicks big as mine up there?" Greg said, fingering his now stiff cock.

"A couple. One guy had fourteen inches. Fat fucker," Augie said, fingers on zipper but not yet ready to get naked with his host.

"How'd you know it was fourteen?" Greg asked, a skeptic nonbeliever.

"What do you think you do up there all day. He won four packs of cigarettes and five sodas with that puppy."

"How's that?" Greg asked, curiosity unmistakable.

"Man with the biggest dick took the pot. Everyone had to play. There was a ten-inch and two that were eight or nine. All of them figured they'd win. You'd ah figure in-between the nine and then ten. Big but no prize."

"You know your dicks. You do the measuring?" Greg asked.

"We got a new kid in that week. He knew 'em all up close and personal like. He hadn't had time to make alliances. He got all the shit details."

"They fuck him?" Greg asked, listening careful for the answer.

"You might say that," Augie said, still holding onto his fly.

"You fuck him, that little boy?" Greg's question was surly and open ended.

"We going swimming or what?" Augie said.

"Yeah, you fucked him," Greg said, all his teeth showing as he disappeared down the rope and his eyes were on Augie.

"Did you?" Doug asked, stepping around me out of nowhere.

Augie seemed surprised when he looked in our direction. We had been obscured by the tree line and the deep shadows.

"You fuckers are everywhere," Augie said. "Can't a guy have some privacy?"

"Not with Greg around. He won't leave you alone until he gets what he wants," Doug said, sitting at Augie's feet and looking up past his crotch.

"What's that?" Augie asked, unable to hold back the question as he noticed Doug's gaze.

"What you did to that kid."

"I didn't say I did nothin'," Augie said as he peeled his jeans the rest of the way down off his legs, turning so his beautiful round white ass was pointed at Doug's face.

"You were in jail with old dudes. You did plenty," Doug said. "It's not a secret what goes on in there."

"Yeah, well, I ain't in jail now," Augie said, throwing his jeans down on his shoes. "You guys give me some breathing room, will ya? I ain't in jail no more."

He wasn't as hard as Greg but the reddish color and perky way it stood out of his black pubes told me, he was no more than a thought or a single touch from becoming erect. Doug was now seated as close to Augie's cock as Augie had been to Greg's. This stirred something in Augie that he didn't like and tried to hide from us. He stood still, looking first down at Doug and then over at me. I could see him dealing with something that was troubling to him. I knew I looked just like Augie now looked when I was confounded and confused by my feelings and desires.

"I ain't in jail," he repeated after we all stared at each other for a minute or two. "I don't need that anymore," he added as his dick pulsed to life and twitched out in front of him so close to Doug's face it would have been an easy matter for him to swallow it, but he didn't.

I was noticing the fine black hairs on the inside of his legs as he spoke and temporarily interrupted my survey. There were more wiry black hairs below his knees. He was awesome naked but too soon gone down the rope, leaving Doug and I to face one another with what we now knew about August Moon. It was then that my fertile mind went into action. In this case out of sight out of mind wasn't necessarily true.

I imagined Greg looking up from the bottom right into Augie's ass as it lowered down onto his face. I knew Greg wouldn't turn away until it was time to avoid any pretence of having voluntary physical contact with another virile male that wasn't first connected to some greater struggle for superiority. I knew Greg would examine carefully the ass that was coming down toward him and he would fight off the urge to stand fast and impale his adversary as he lowered himself into Greg's universe and onto his only weapon. My cock throbbed and ached as I contemplated what they might be doing to one another just out of my sight. I finally eased over and sat beside Doug only closer to the edge so I could see any activity.

"I thought you were helping your mother?"

"I was."

"What brought you down here?"

"Same as you," he said, not explaining. "Augie's something else. If Greg hadn't been here he'd have done something with us. Greg ruins everything."

"I thought you didn't want to.... Never mind," I said, leaning back against the tree so I could see the naked boys.

Doug moved closer to me. It was difficult to concentrate on the view. I wanted to grab Doug and shove my tongue down his throat. I wanted him to blow me again. I wanted to fuck him. My dick was aching and nothing had happened but a lot of talking and chopping. I was getting weirder by the minute, not to mention horny.

"This all you want to do? Watch them."

"Isn't it what you came for?"

"Not exactly," Doug said, his hand was on the inside of my thigh as he leaned his head on my shoulder. "I'm so fucked up."

"I know exactly how that feels," I said, leaning my head against his as the bottom fell out of my stomach.

"You like Augie?"

"What's not to like. He's hot," I confessed casually. "I think I like everyone. I don't feel like they know I'm alive."

"I know you're alive," Doug said, wrapping his fingers around my forearm and squeezing.

"Yeah, but that's more about being horny again."

"Shut up," he said.

"You aren't even horny for me. You came down to see him."

"Did not either. You think he fools around?" Doug asked.

It seemed to me that sooner or later most guys who hung around with us were looking for a way to give us what they hoped we wanted, but it could only be on their terms. Should you give them what they wanted before they were desperate enough to beg you for it, you would be ostracized, but only after the questionable activity came to fruition. And that's when you became queer.

I never could figure out where that fucking line was drawn. It seemed logical to me, no matter if you were the suck-ee or sucker or the fuck-ee or fucker, it took two to get to get it done. Therefore, it is also logical to assume that both of the parties got some pleasure out of the activity, and that's why, after the deed was done, someone then had to be queer, and I couldn't figure out why. It was totally confusing that hugging a guy could force him to do violence after you've only just finished sucking his dick. What's that about?

"I suppose. Why did you say what you did to me this morning? I can't turn it on and off Doug. I like you. You can't hug me one minute and push me away the next."

"I don't know. I'm fucked up, okay. I like you, Martin, too much. It scares me some. We can't do this."

"What is this. I mean, I don't understand how you can turn it on and off. Earlier you were.... I like you all the time."

"Me too. I mean I like you."

"I can't turn it on and off, Doug. I've never been with anyone the way we've been together."

"I know. I'm just a kid. What do I know?"

"You know a hell of a lot more than I do," I said angrily.

"I can't do anything about that."

"You know what's in your heart. Don't play with mine. Besides, your father is right up there. What's he going to say if he sees us?"

"You can't see what's in the shadows. The suns right on the garden most of the day. We always get naked down here. Mom would complain if she saw us naked up top. That's for the river."

I sat under the tree where the rope was tied, letting Doug hold my hand. Greg was standing out in the sunny spot in the river where it was easy to see him. The water was only up to the middle of his thighs and ran slowly past. Augie waded out carefully, testing the bottom as he went. They stood facing each other to talk, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. The sounds of the river and the forest were clear to me and the cool dark earth was pleasant to sit upon.

While I couldn't hear, it soon became obvious that there was unfinished business and they both knew it. Neither was going to admit defeat nor would they acknowledge the other was a better man. Greg was hard as stone and it closed some of the distance between them. Augie's ass was round and firm, a tiny hint of pink obvious in the white orbs that followed him and perfectly they were perfectly carved by some incredibly talented sculptor. My dick pulsed in my jeans as I admired his backside.

In a sudden swift move Augie ended up behind Greg and had him in a full nelson before he knew the competition was on again. Once again their bodies rubbed as Greg struggled frantically to get free. He cursed and squirmed until they both fell into the rushing water with Greg leaping on top of Augie, trying to hold him under with little success. Then, Augie was on top again and then Greg as they moved with the river as they dueled.

Greg stood first and Augie sprung on his back like a cat, catching him by surprise with his unexpected speed. Their bodies were grinding together as Augie's powerful arms held him onto Greg's back. He stepped in to an uneven spot and lost his balance, throwing Augie into the air. Greg twisted away as he went down. He reversed their positions before Augie could get his feet back under him. By the time he did Greg was behind him with one of his strong forearms around Augie's neck and the other was holding him around the waist as Augie flailed, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. Greg's broad shoulders and more evenly dispersed musculature gave him an advantage once he had control.

"God damn," Doug gasped. "He's trying to fuck him."

"What do you think they've been doing?" I asked, having been certain of it from the very start.

"I don't believe this." His hand was in my lap and he found the evidence that I cared for the duelists. He looked at my face for only a second to see if there would be any objection to his delving fingers.

"You bitch," Augie yelled and there was a sudden fierce struggled to be free, but Greg held fast to hi, riding the thinner boy hard with his hips carrying much of the weight as he held Augie to him.

"As if you weren't trying to get it up my ass," Greg shot back. "What's good for the goose...," Greg laughed wickedly.

"Alright, cut it out," Augie yelled. "Let's take a break."

"Just hold still a minute, damn it. You been in jail. It ain't the first time someone got a dick up your ass. Stop wiggling," Greg demanded.

"Not without a fight, bitch," Augie spat, clawing at Greg's arms until his feet came off the river bottom as Greg held him in place. For a minute they stayed like that and Augie seemed to have surrendered to the inevitable, but as always, there was more going on than I knew about, and slowly Augie's dick did a slow but steady rise until it stood out in red swollen glory. The wriggling and squirming started anew once he was fully erect.

"Fuck, he likes it," Doug said. "He's letting him. Look at his dick. I don't believe it. Is nothing sacred?"

"Your brother has a way about him. He just blinks those sleepy blue eyes at you and that's it. You get lost in there."

"Here I thought he was this big stud who was going to put my brother in his place."

"He's been in jail," I defended. "Probably knows all about that shit. Everyone don't like the same shit anyway. Give him a break. The fucker's gorgeous."

"Yeah, there is that to fall back on," Doug sighed, hugging his face to my shoulder.

I went back to the show feeling warm and happy. Happy wasn't something I did that often. I wasn't unhappy, but I was unaware of that it was that would make me happy. I suspected it had something to do with lying with boys. I needed other boys close to me. That's what made me comfortable, and when I was comfortable, I could get happy in short order. I was happy to be there with him while we watched two boys trying to screw each other. It was the kind of thing I once imagined happening while I was satisfying myself late at night, but this was way better. Especially since they were real and with Doug right there.

Augie could not compare in size with Greg but on beauty and quality, he was cock of the walk, chiseled precisely and proportioned to his body size, long and exactingly shaped. It was a beautiful cock and colored to excite any observers.

It was then that he reversed the hold, throwing Greg off balance, to complete his move. With Augie behind him, I could now see that Greg was no less excited by the battle. There was no doubt he was still the king of cock, but by the look on his face, Augie had enough to worry him.

"You see, there are some advantages to not being, TOO big."

Augie laughed loud after speaking. He held Greg around the throat with one of his arms bent up behind him in a painful looking way. There was grunting and groaning but the shouting stopped for a couple of minutes as they wiggled and wriggled some more.

This time Greg's hips stayed out and off Augie's inflamed sword while Augie did his best to get it up to his ass. They squirmed and slithered and moved and counter moved but neither could regain any lasting advantage. Finally, after half an hour, they were both contented to let the water soothe what must have been aching muscles after what had been a morning long competition. There wasn't much conversation and they stayed a respectful distance from one another.

"Let's go wallow in the mud," Greg said after awhile. "Less likelihood of getting speared down there."

Greg looked up at the tree at us, watching as he kept his arms and legs in the water with just his head above the surface.

"He can't see us," Doug said, hugging me closer and nuzzling my neck with his face. He let out a small sigh.

When I looked back to the river they were gone. The rustling river rolled alone as the birds sang their short songs to us. I put my arm around him and allowed myself to adhere to him.

 

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 20

So Hard To Be Cool

The air was fresh. My mind was stimulated by at least a million things, but it wouldn't settle for just one. I couldn't imagine any place better to be than right there under that hundred year-old oak with the most beautiful boy in the world holding my hand. His head lay on my shoulder and our fingers intertwined like the roots of the mighty tree as the river rolled past us.

A squirrel danced on a limb above us, stopping now and again to stand on his hind legs and talk to the other squirrels. Birds came and went, my heart pounded, and a gentle wind rustled the leaves as we stayed put.

"Why is so it hard."

"I don't know. From watching them, I guess."

"You asshole! Why is it so hard being a kid?"

"Oh! I don't know. I guess there's so much happening, so much we need to know."

"You're a big fucking help, Martin."

"I'm here for you. I want to be a big help to you."

"I know you do. Why is it so hard?"

"I don't know, Doug. I suppose if it were easy, how'd we know what was worth it and what wasn't?"

"I s'pose. I'm so damn comfortable being with you."

"Me too."

"But we aren't supposed to be. That's what's hard. I feel all this stuff inside me and I ain't s'pose to be feeling that."

"How does anyone know what anyone else feels or why?" I asked.

"I feel like I need to have someone hold me all the time. I mean every time I get close to someone, like this, I never want them to let me go."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked him.

"What's wrong with me," Doug said.

"From where I sit, not a god damn thing. You're about perfect."

"Cut it out. I mean it can't stop with holding. Once they hold me I want more. I keep saying I don't want to do the stuff, but I keep doing it."

"There's nothing wrong with "that stuff"."

"Why are guys so fucking weak?" He asked.

"I think our bodies sometimes take over from our brain."

"You mean our dicks," Doug said.

"I guess that too."

"Yeah, but every time I finish doing something, I say I won't ever do that again. Then I get with someone, like with you last night."

"I was irresistible and you couldn't control yourself," I quipped.

"Right!"

"Doug, some times you do what you do. Sex isn't that clear to me. I know I like it with you. Would it be easier if I didn't? Probably, but I'm sure glad that I do."

"I can't figure out why I don't just stop. Fall in love with some nice girl, you know. Let her hold me? I like this girl at school, but she has a boyfriend."

There wasn't anything I could say. I didn't want Doug to like anyone but me, but I knew he liked a lot of people and even more liked him.

"What do you s'spose they're up to?"

"No good no doubt," I said.

"There's a path that leads to the mud hole. We could go watch if you do that kind of thing."

"Where's the path?"

"You think Augie will do it with my brother?"

"Why not. Everyone else does. Greg's got something everyone wants."

"Augie's different. He's as big a stud as Greg, don't you think?"

"Bigger even. He isn't intimidated by Greg. I think they're trying to figure each other out."

"You don't think they'll have sex?" Doug asked, sitting up to look at me when I answered. "Neither of them would let the other...."

"Bulls do diddle each other, you know."

"Yeah, and I don't want to miss it. Let's go see."

Doug led the way into the woods and we were immediately on a trail that led us to a stand of trees and some shrubs that stood thirty feet from where Greg and Augie had settled into a dark brown muck. I thought we were way noisy getting in to position to spy on them, but between the river behind them and them talking, they didn't seem to notice our arrival. We sat behind some lackluster shrubs and looked through the naked branches. Doug's fingers reached into my hand until we were joined together again.

They both lay on their backs covered in mud. Their erections stood up as testimony to their virility. Like the rest of them they were covered in mud. Augie made the first mistake and Greg had been waiting for the blunder. It was obvious from the way both their big chests pumped air that they were still winded from the morning combat or worse, their mutual attraction that kept driving them together. After a few peaceful minutes of them being apart, Augie rolled up on one of his elbows and came down on his stomach. His wonderful round ass, now chocolate coated, dominated the view as he rested his head gently on the backs of the hands he had placed on top of the mud.

"This is great," Augie said. "I'm finally relaxing a little."

"Takes the ache out of most muscles," Greg advised, breathing harder than Augie. His cock was also stiffer, twitching while he looked skyward, looking thicker by virtue of several coats of goop that adhered to it.

It was obvious when he was going to make his move. He rolled up on the elbow closest to Augie before leaping on top of him. Augie was taken completely by surprise and even after Greg had finished the maneuver, Augie lay quietly under him with their muddy faces almost touching as Greg started to ride him.

"This is way too comfortable to fight over," Augie said, leaving his meaning unclear to me.

"Just when I thought you were going to be fun," Greg said, unwilling or unable to yield back that which had been taken only seconds before.

"It's all perspective."

"How so?"

"Fun for one isn't necessarily fun for all."

"Philosophy one O something or other," Greg sighed, disappointed.

Greg's left hand moved ever so slightly on Augie's side. Had both of Augie's hands not been under his face, one might think it was his own hand moving there. Looking for some sign of escalation coming from Greg's hand, I missed the obvious as Greg's hips moved up and off of Augie's backside. His dick slid ever so slowly up and out of the bottom boys ass crack. It stood up twitching several times with noticeable spasms.

"It's better when you fight me," Greg advised.

"For who? It takes the power away when you stop resisting. I'm tired now."

"You should fight to keep what's yours," Greg reasoned.

"They want you to fight. That's the only way they can conquer you."

"Who?" Greg asked, having become lost in Augie's words.

"The man on top. Never mind. It's too nice here to fight. I don't want to fight you. I like you."

"That's cool. I like you. You don't mind me fucking you awhile. I bet you're tight."

"I'm told. Go for it if you want it that bad," Augie said.

"I knew it," Doug hissed in my ear. "Fucker gets them all."

Greg's hand moved up on to Augie's ass as his cock slid up and back in his crack. Greg stared down at himself as the sound of slurping and slopping came out of the bog. He cleared the mud off himself and out of Augie's crack so he could make the contact he needed. His cock flesh once more shone through the mud as he stroked himself vigorously.

Their breathing grew more intense as Greg's fingers slid up on the back of his adversary's leg until his fingers were in-between his legs at the bottom of the crack. He lay down on Augie's back and placed his arms out beside the buried boy's head. Greg's hips moved up and down in rhythmic gentle thrusts. Augie offered no resistance to Greg's accelerated motions.

Greg's hips were just starting to lift and his face had pressed against Augie's face when they both came out of the mud in a sudden jerk with Augie rolling out of the mud on top of Greg. His hands held Greg's arms over his head, making it hard for him to gain any leverage. Their chests collided with a splat as Greg was the one bogging down in the mud.

"Fucker!" Greg vowed as he made a futile attempt to escape his captor.

"Yes, I thought he was going to let him do it to him," Doug said too loud, but they were once again in a life and death struggle and unaware of the interlopers.

Augie maintained control as the front of their bodies churned and ground together. After a few more minutes it was once again only the hips moving as they dueled to satisfy whatever it was that drove them. Greg threw Augie off and rolled weakly on top of him, and Augie returned the favor a minute later.

There was laughter and swearing and panting that echoed through the trees. One was on the other's back, then it was reversed, only to be undone yet again. At one point in the precise middle of one of them taking control from the other, they simultaneously fell onto their backs, side by each, their chests heaving huge gulps of air that didn't seem to satisfy their need. Their cocks still stood as testimony to their endurance.

As Doug and I smiled at each other we both turned back to see a gob of liquid escaping from Greg's cock slit, slowly dropping on his belly button filled with mud.

"You're fucking shooting your load," Augie said, pointing to another strand of precum that hung between Greg's slit and his stomach.

"You wish," Greg said with contempt. "Just a slight overflow from the overheating problem you're giving me."

"You could wear a guy out, you know, dude. That was so weird. I never wrestled a guy naked. Gives you some weird ideas, huh?"

"I was just starting to think you might be interesting," Greg said, watching his cock as he milked more liquid from it. His hand moved way too slow for him to be doing anything but clearing the pipes of the oozing liquid, but Augie didn't miss a thing, his own cock twitched with a clear substance glistening at the tip. He seemed lost for a second as he felt his erection, using his thumb to clear the his slit.

"No, I'm just your basic boring con," Augie said, rolling onto his stomach and lying his face back down on his arms.

"Is it true what they say goes on up in places like that?" Greg asked, staring straight up into the ceiling of the forest that leaned out over the bog on three sides. They were now just inside the mud flat and no more than fifteen feet from where we squatted. The air settle before the answer came.

"...Pretty much," he finally said, unable to deflect the question with a joke.

"It happened to you? What they say happens to young dudes like us up there?"

"...Pretty much," Augie said after another delay that could only have been consideration of whether or not to tell the truth. He turned his face away so he couldn't see Greg.

I wondered if he feared rejection from this boy who was charged with sexual desire for him.

"What's it like?"

"You get by as best you can. One guy can't fight off nine. You can fight, but you can't fight them off. You can't fight them all. You let one then you let them all. If you want to survive."

"So you let them?"

"Maybe not let them. More like they take it if they want it. You got to force yourself not to struggle. You can't at first. Instinct says fight. It's over way faster if you don't fight. Most don't even want it if you aren't fighting to keep them from getting it. Right off half lose interest."

Greg started up on one elbow and before I knew it he had covered Augie's body with his own again, only not sudden or in a hostile way. Their faces came together and Greg's arms covered Augie's arms in what could only be described as a tender way. I didn't think Greg had a tender bone in his entire body, but he seemed to want to ease whatever burden Augie carried to that mud pool. Then, being true to form, his hips started to rise and fall.

"Fuck!" Doug said, and Greg's head snapped up and he stared into the shrubs right at us.

FUCK! I thought. He had to see us. Doug looked at me sheepishly.

"Let's get rinsed off," Greg said sounding perturbed.

"I'm fine. Look, I did plenty up there. I ain't gonna make up no stories to make you think I'm this straight arrow or anything."

Greg stood, looking down at Augie, and offering him a hand.

"It's cool, dude. I do stuff all the time. All us guys you met do it. Except my old man and Dwight. We're fucking teenagers, aren't we. It's what we do."

"It ain't cool, Greg. I'm just ready for something else, you know. At least to make sure I still can."

"All's fair in love and fucking."

"I want to get with that girl, Greg. After I done that, we're cool with the other stuff. I'm not saying that ain't an option. It's just pussy's on my mind."

"Yeah, what's the chance I could get some of that action?" Greg asked. "We could like team up."

"She's screwing all her brother's friends, or so he says. She didn't waste no time grabbing onto it. I know she wants it."

"So why don't you just peg her and get it over with?" Greg asked.

"I need someone to get her brother off me. Every time she gets me all overheated, she leaves, and he says I owe him. Fucker's worse than cons. Can't keep his hands off it."

"What's his problem?" Greg asked.

"Me," Augie said. "Fucker loves me. Never had a man's dick."

"Tell him to get lost," Greg said. "You don't owe him nothin'."

"I made a deal with him when he said he could get me laid. There wasn't anyone else up here. He gets what he wants if I get with his sister."

"So?" Greg asked.

"He won't leave me alone. He wants to watch. Then he wants to play with it. He's worse than some of the cons, and I still haven't fucked her."

"What's the deal? You all know what's going on. Cut him off until you get her."

"I want to try it without an audience for a change. I got plenty of that up there. I want to solo now I'm a free man."

"I see what you mean."

"I want to see if I can still..., you know. The last girl was before I got arrested. Over a year. I never did anything with boys before jail."

"Shit stud, you got nothing to worry about. When you get out of here girls will fall all over your ass."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't wait three more months to find out. It ain't them I'm worried for. That Timmy kid, he wanted to play with my dick last night. I got hard by him telling me what he wanted. I'm turning homo. I need a girl."

"So what's in it for me then?" Greg asked. "Say I take the kid off your hands so you can screw his sister."

"What do you want?" Augie asked.

I tried to hear what they were saying, but they talked softly as Greg walked him back out into the river.

"Come on," I said, let's go back.

"You just want to see them get dressed," Doug said.

"Don't you?" I asked.

"Maybe," Doug said as we walk toward the path.

He kept pushing his hand into my arm until I realized he wanted me to hold it. We were hurrying back toward the oak, when he stopped me.

"What's the hurry?"

" I don't know," I confessed.

"We come strolling out of the woods just in time to see them dressing, they're going to know where we're coming from," Doug reasoned.

"Greg saw us. That's why he kept trying to get Augie to leave."

"Maybe not. All the more reason to do something here so they have time to get finished before we get back to the house."

When I turned to face Doug the front of his pants were poked out. That's not to say mine didn't suffer from the same malady if not to the same degree. Doug out bulged me by quite a bit. Mine appeared just down my right leg while Doug's puffed out the front of his brown shorts. His hand immediately felt my erection. He kept his eyes on his hand as I wanted him to look at me.

"We can do what we did last night," he said, finally looking at my face.

"Okay," I said.

His shorts were on the ground followed by his blue stripped boxers before I could adjust to the idea that the boy who didn't was going to. His cock stood out thick and fully erect. It wasn't as long or as thick as Greg's but the difference wasn't enough to be concerned about. Doug's more petite body and lighter coloring made his dick look massive. Before I could get on my knees to take it in my mouth, he was on his knees unzipping my pants.

Once he got his mouth on me, I was helpless. With no effort he was taking most of my dick in his mouth. He seemed devoted to me before he stood and bent over in front of me.

"Come on. It's plenty slick."

"I... ah, wait a minute," I said, getting on my knees and putting my face between his cheeks. He bent forward as I located and licked his hole.

"God, Martin, you're going to ruin it if you don't fuck me now."

"I want more than just to stick it in," I said.

"Shit, we've got all afternoon, all night, and all day tomorrow. Let's just do this one right here right now."

I backed away and his smooth pastel nuts were swinging between his legs. I had to put my mouth on them and this made him moan. When I stood he was bent at the right angle and I certainly didn't need any more stimulation than that. The warmth was overwhelming and I leaned over his back to hold him as I guided myself deep inside him.

"Oh, yeah," he moaned. "That's so hot. Go ahead."

My mind went blank but my hips knew what to do. Standing up definitely wasn't my favorite position, but any way with Doug was just fine with me. I was immediately closing in on the moment of truth. We grunted and groaned in some wild melody that only heightened my intensity.

"Yeah, that's it. You know how I like it. That's perfect."

Hell, I was just drilling for oil. Any semblance of technique was most certainly by accident. What I knew was, damn the torpedo full speed ahead, and I was driving to the finish line when I reached around him to get my hands on that hot cock. Oh yeah, I'm in heaven now. Feeling his erection was all it took, except everything came to a screeching halt as I was blown out of the water.

"Told you those fuckers were watching us," Greg said victoriously.

Doug stood up. My cock literally popped out of his ass, and Augie and Greg stood five feet from where we were fucking.

"One's your brother, right? Don't tell me which," Augie mused in an easy going style.

"Fucking horse dick, no doubt," he said, pointing at Doug. "Damn boys got a body on him."

"Martin," Greg said, addressing me personally while I was deciding whether to shit or go blind. "Martin?"

"Yeah," I said, getting my dick almost in through my zipper before it got caught in the teeth.

"Don't ever. Never once, ever, come to my house again as long as you live or until after I die. You fucking little whore."

"Damn," Augie said as they turned and walked away. "He's cute. What's that about."

"Just someone I thought I liked. I didn't," Greg said softly as they disappeared down the path.

"Fuck," I said. "I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I do it where he'd catch us."

"Well, when you're going to do a thing. Best to do it well," Doug said with no humor in his words. "We better get our fill this weekend, because unless I can come over your house, he ain't never going to agree to let you come over again."

"He'll forget about it after awhile," I reasoned to myself, looking to where Greg had disappeared, wanting to run to beg him for a reprieve.

"He don't use that tone often, but when he does, it's over, dude. Same thing happened to Kent. One day he was out. My brother's tough that way. I still don't know what happened between those two. They use to spend a lot of time together."

"Want to go ahead and finish. I'm still horny," Doug said.

Feeling my dick he made a couple of attempts to free it from my zipper.

"How can a guy get his dick jammed up like this?" Doug asked.

"I've got talent I've never used yet," I told him.

"My mother's good with stuff like this. Maybe I should let her do it."

"No fucking way. I'm not asking your mother to hold my dick for me," I said.

"Herbie's always zipping his up. She doesn't mind," he said.

"I do. I can just see Greg laughing at me while your mother's working on my dick. No thank you. Just get it out. I'll be okay," I said.

Feeling both horny and hurt, but with his hand on my dick, mostly horny. I braced myself for the agony I knew was about to hit me. He yanked down on my zipper in a quick jerk and at the same time he ripped up on my dick, and suddenly I was falling backward down the hill toward the river. I was sure one of us had my dick, I just wasn't sure I wanted to know which one.

Doug came bounding down the hill after me, leaping in knee deep leaves until he leaped on top of me like a five year old might do.

"You okay?" He asked, giggling and putting his head on my chest as he lay with his feet pointed up the hill. "I think I might have found my calling."

"What? Leaf leaper?"

"No, dick freer-upper. I think I'm good at it."

"Yeah, but I might never fuck again," I said, examining my skinned up dong.

"That's too bad. You're good at it. In fact we could try it out to make sure it still works. I think it's my duty to make sure you're still in good operating condition before I return you home.

"What's with you all of a sudden. I've been afraid to touch you forever," I said.

He lifted his head and his serene blue eyes smiled into mine. He was so damn handsome and his hand was back where it could do me the most good.

"I love you, Doug," I said.

He blinked his eyes and looked away before looking back. He used his mouth to smile this time. He was absolutely gorgeous.

"I know you do. Just do me one favor. Don't love me too much. I can't be what you want," he said. "I've always wanted to do stuff together."

"I want you to be happy. I want to see you and you can come to my house after school."

"We'll see. When we get back, we'll see how it works out."

"I'll still love you no matter how it works out," I said.

"I don't want to hurt you. Don't love me too much. I don't know how to love anyone yet."

"It's okay. I don't expect you to feel the same way. Being with you, I mean last night.... I can't imagine it being any better with anyone else."

"I think you'd be on the top of my list though. If I was to love someone. I like you, Martin. I mean really like you, but there's other shit I got to try. I can't be somebody's lover yet."

We lay there for awhile trying to understand what had transpired between us up there in those hills. Something was different between us, and then there was Greg. I didn't let myself think about him or the mean words he had for me. When my mind did go there, my heart ached and I wanted to cry. I did believe he meant exactly what he said. I wouldn't ever have screwed Doug where Greg could have caught us, only I had and he had, twice within a few hours. I was a total asshole but while I was with Doug that didn't matter.