I woke up and looked over at the wall clock. It was four-thirty. Chad was still sleeping in the same position. “Hey, Sleepy. Time for dinner.”
“What?” Chad lifted his head. He seemed a little out of it. He looked over at me and smiled. “I want to stay here.”
“We need to go eat,” I told him.
“Five more minutes,” he blew a raspberry against my chest.
“No more minutes,” I said sternly. “You got to get dressed, and who knows how long it takes you to tie your shoes.”
“Fuck you, my shoes have velcro.” He laughed.
“No, they don’t. You wore sandals.” I shoved him up, and he sat with his legs dangling over the edge of the bed.
“You’re really fun to be with, you know that,” he told me. “You tease me in a way that I know you’re joking around. I want you to know that I like you.”
I stood up in front of him. Leaning forward, I kissed him. The urge to put my dick in him was strong, but I pushed him back and began to lick his naked ball sack. I sucked one of his balls into my mouth.
I heard Chad moan an ‘oh, fuck.’
I moved to the other ball. The testicle on his right side was larger than the left and was more difficult to get my tongue around once it was in my mouth. I pushed it back out and went to work on his dick. As he described, he had a small patch of pubic hair just above his cock. His shaft was completely hairless. The diameter was less than mine, I was sure, but the head of his penis was the same size as mine. I pulled the head into my mouth and began to run my tongue around the edge of the corona.
“Fuck me, that’s awesome,” he growled through clenched teeth. “Oh, shit, no. I’m going to come.”
I guess the excitement was too much for him. My lips never got past the head of his cock before he filled my mouth with cum. He expelled quite a bit in one pulse. I swallowed it, but not before I experienced a strong salty taste. I released his dick, and as I did, I lost balance and fell backward, landing on my butt. I started to laugh.
“You shot so hard that you knocked me on my ass,” I laughed.
“Are you OK?” He started laughing, too. “How can you look so sexy sitting on your ass completely naked?”
“Some of us can pull things like that off. And some of us, guys like you, can look fucking sexy just sitting on the edge of the bed with a little droplet of cum on the end of your dick.”
He looked down to notice that I had licked him clean before falling over.
“Let’s get dressed for dinner,” I said as I stood up.
“Yeah, we’ve already had a helping of dessert, now for the main course.”
“That is so corny,” I announced, then we both started laughing again.
We joined his friends for dinner that day. Most of them seemed very immature to me. Was I like that only a year or two ago? My dad told me that I would feel very grown-up each year and then when I got to be about twenty-five, I’d realize what a kid I had been. Was I still a kid who was trying to figure out love and decide on a life partner before I knew what was what?
Several Halloween parties were going on that night, and I knew what that meant. Guys getting drunk and doing things they would later deny or blame on the drinking. Plus, two of them were already dressed up like X-men.
“Are you going with us to the tri-delt party?” asked Chad’s friend José.
Chad looked at me. “I’ve got some French homework that needs to get finished.”
“French-kissing homework,” his pal Rodney giggled.
“Jealous?” asked Chad.
I looked at Rodney, still giggling like a middle-schooler. I looked back at Chad. “I just hope you don’t get pregnant from all the fucking we’re doing.”
Rodney stopped giggling.
Chad paused for just a second, then he said, “Me? I’m the one with the potent sperm. If anyone gets knocked up, it’ll be you.”
None of his friends said anything.
“He’s not going to any party, guys. Come on, Chad, let’s go fuck some more.” I got up and Chad followed me out the door.
We didn’t talk on the way back to my room. When we got to my door, I turned to Chad. “I’m sorry about saying that. I let Rodney get under my skin.”
“Rodney’s… I don’t know. He’s such a little kid sometimes.”
“That was no reason for me to be so…”
“It’s OK,” he interrupted. “They think I’m getting some… and from a cute guy, too.”
“You are getting some, just not everything.” I opened the door and went in.”
Chad stood at the door. “Maybe I shouldn’t go in, then.”
“You have to come in. You’ve left your French book here.”
Chad looked down toward the floor.
“So, you only want to come in if you’re going to get sex?” I asked. Did I understand him?
“No. That’s not what I meant.” He stepped inside and closed the door. “I want to be with you, even if it’s just sitting next to you. But being next to you the way we were earlier is so fucking awesome. Holding you and feeling your skin next to mine. It’s way more than wanting to get fucked, but I won’t deny that I want that, too. But if that’s all I wanted, I could have gone to that party, because they’re going to be drinking, and somebody’s going to be willing.
Then I think, maybe I should be around you when I study because it’s not easy to concentrate because I’m thinking about you.”
“We’re going to have to work on that. I’d like to think we can be in the same room and get homework done.”
“Maybe if we sit back to back,” Chad suggested.
“Just kick your shoes off and get your book and sit on the bed. Do you need a pillow? I’ll sit next to you. Let’s see how this works.” I grabbed my book on advanced algorithms and started reading the next chapter.
Chad struggled to write some notes as he read. I heard him whispering some French to himself.
“Alors, qu’est-ce que tu dis?” [what did you say?]
“What?”
“Je te demande ce que tu viens de dire.” [I'm asking you what you just said.]
“I ain’t got a fucking clue what you just said,” Chad shook his head.
“What are you studying?”
“Passé Composé.” He sounded like an East Texan when he said it.
“So exactly what about it are you studying?”
“I have to learn these past participles. Why are there so many? Why can’t there just be one way of saying them like in English?”
“What do you mean? Each verb has one participle just like in English,” I said.
“No, look at this, j’ai écrit, tu as écrit, il a écrit, nous avons écrit, vous avez écrit, and ils ont écrit. That’s six different ones.”
“But ‘écrit’ is the participle and is the same for all of them just like ‘written’ is the same past participle in English,” I pointed out to him that only the verb ‘avoir’ is changing, just like have in English changes. “I have written, but he has written.”
“Yeah, well that’s dumb, too.”
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“Calling it dumb doesn’t change it. You can try to start a revolt and see whether you can get American English speakers to change it. The Brits are likely to ignore you, and I wouldn’t dare try to get the French to change.”
“You think I could get the Americans to change it?” he asked.
“If you’ve got the time. I’m way too busy to help you.” I went back to studying my book.”
“I think you’re jerking my chain,” Chad finally said. “And how come you know French?”
“Because I took French classes, and I studied instead of complaining about why French is different from English,” I smiled at him. “So have you finished that homework?”
“Not yet. Almost. Want to take a break and make out?”
“Ten more minutes of study.”
Chad grabbed his phone. “I’ll set a timer.”
That made me laugh. I took a deep breath and reread the pseudocode for determining the change in flow based on diameter and pressure. I wondered why viscosity wasn’t a factor, but my mind kept wandering. I finally closed the book and closed my eyes. I thought through the steps I would need to change a valve to change the flow. Something was missing.
The alarm went off and startled me. I opened my eyes to see Chad stand and place his book on the desk. He sat back next to me and touched my cheek. “It’s not too late to go to one of those parties. You might hook-up with someone you like better than me. Someone who’s better looking. But you won’t find someone who wants to feel you inside of him as much as I do.”
My brain was telling me to wait one more day, but my dick got hard rapidly at the thought of probing his cute ass.
He leaned over and kissed me. “I think this means I’m one hundred percent gay.”
“Dozens upon dozens of women who wanted to have your babies are now devastated.”
“They’re better off without me. I might have married one of them only to discover later that I’m a homosexual.” He said it with such seriousness that I began to wonder.
“So, what about that girl you left back home. The one you were going to marry?” I asked.
I saw a smile creep across his face. “There’s no girl; there never has been. My father’s in for a disappointment. He’s expecting me to bring home a fiancée.”
“If he’s like my dad, he already knows.”
“You’ve already told your dad?”
“No, Chad, he told me. He and my mom came into my room and told me that they knew I was gay, and they asked me to confess. So I told them they were right. My mom knew since I was in middle school. It would have made my life easier if she had just told me. I wonder whether I would have denied it.”
“I would have. I still might. I don’t know. It’s not an easy thing,” admitted Chad.
“If you come home with me to see my hometown, you’ll need to be able to admit it to more than your gay friends here at school.”
“Why would I go home with you?”
“Well, to see where I live and where I’m going to live after school,” I told him.
“Oh, yeah, you’re going there after you graduate. OK, I get it. Yeah. I need to check it out. Maybe I’ll take you home to help me tell my parents.”
“I would if you wanted me to.”
“You are such a sweet guy.” He stood up and pulled his shirt over his head. “Shall I dance for you?”
“Show me your best line-dance routine.”
“Your fucking kidding me, right? I can’t line-dance without a partner.”
“The whole point of line-dancing is that you don’t need a partner,” I laughed.
Chad crawled on top of me and kissed me. “Take your shirt off and let me see that sexy chest.”
I pulled my polo off and leaned back. He began to chew on my nipples. I felt myself get harder. He kissed me all the way down to my zipper, then he opened my pants before pulling them off me. He licked my cock through my briefs. I got even harder; the tip of my dick began to peek out from my waistband. He pulled my briefs down to my knees. My dick stood straight up.
“Put a rubber on it.”
I immediately reached above my head and pulled the lube and condom that I kept stashed there.
I handed him the lube. I hadn’t wanted to do this until we’d dated for a week, but here I was giving in. I needed to be inside him.
Chad lubed his hole and then covered my condom-wrapped erection with more lubricant. He moved until he was aligned over my dick. He lowered himself. His pucker refused to let me in.
“You’re too fucking big. Dammit. He pushed harder.”
“Stop,” I ordered. “Get on your back. Let me open you up before you break my dick in half.” I sat up.
“I want to break your dick in half, you fucking pervert.”
I didn’t see the punch coming. He hit me on the side of the jaw. My head bounced off the wall, and I fell onto the floor.
“Beth didn’t deserve what you did to her. And Cameron, you fucked him up so good, he didn’t want her anymore.”
“What the fuck? Who the hell are you?” I screamed. I struggled to move with my underwear wrapped around my knees. I was afraid he’d kill me.
“I’m Beth’s brother, and I was Cameron’s best friend before you fucked him up. But you’re going to pay.”
I grabbed my chair and pulled myself to it; the armrest blocked another blow from Chad. I screamed for help as I tried to pull my underwear down and off.
“Nobody’s coming to help you. They’re all at the pagan party.” He came at me, and I kicked him down with two feet. He fell backward and against the wall. The door to my room swung open.
“Why the hell are you screaming?” asked Arnold, the guy in the room next to mine.
“He’s trying to kill me,” I shouted as I got to my feet.
Chad grabbed his clothes. I hadn’t noticed that he stacked them near the door. He pushed Arnold to the side on his way out. Arnold came up to me; he’d already pulled his phone out and was dialing for the police. I was bleeding from a cut on my jaw, and my head had begun to ache.
By the time the campus police arrived, the bleeding had stopped. The city police showed up a few minutes later. I told them what had happened. An ambulance arrived to take me to the hospital to check my head.
I was in the hospital for two days. My parents came and returned home once I was released to go back to class. Chad had disappeared. I was told that the sheriff who had investigated Cameron was looking into things. I was told to have a security officer walk me to classes or my tennis practice. I was happy when I was told I would not have to return to campus after Thanksgiving. My remaining projects were emailed to my professors, and I started working at the family factory. My job this time was to scan old records, verify their digital copies, and store them for future shredding. The task was mundane, but it was an odd relief for me.
Just after Christmas, I traveled with my younger brother Steven to my grandparents’ old place. As we passed by the place of my accident several years before, I thought about all that had happened to me since. So much in my search for happiness; now, I just wanted peace.
Steven and I found the house to be in better shape than we had feared. Although he had no interest in fixing up the place, he helped me clean up around the house. I could tell the metal roof was still in good shape. I believed the house needed to be releveled. I hoped my father might loan me the money to have that done. Later, after I graduated, I could come up once a month to work on things. I found working on the place to be relaxing.
The two of us spent five days there, and as I locked the gate, I knew that part of my future happiness was tied to that place. I slept as my brother drove us back. For my trip back to campus, my brother and I rode in my car, and my parents followed. I thought it was going a little too far, but once they left to go home, I felt desperately alone. I was thankful for tennis practice and grateful that classes would start in just a week.
After practice one day, I showered at the training center and walked alone to the one open cafeteria on campus. I had finished eating a piece of grilled chicken and some over-boiled Brussel sprouts when Coach Gavin came in and hurried over to me.
“We need to go, Adams. The sheriff’s office just called. Cameron collapsed at a supermarket. He’s at the hospital and in very bad shape, but he says he remembers you, and he wants to talk to you.”
I got up and followed him to a school SUV driven by the baseball coach. Once inside, Coach Gavin said, “We’ve been told that he was taken to the hospital after falling at a grocery store. He’s told the police about being beaten, and he’s named the people who did it. He wants to see you and talk to you. He’s been recorded for evidence. I’m sorry, Jake, but they want us to hurry because it doesn’t look good for him. He may not survive until morning.”
