Yo, Advice Himbo,
I want your opinion on something. The thing is, I don't like soap or deodorant, so I often skip the shower. I also don't have that much money for clothes or laundry, so I like to reuse clothes. I have one set that I wear to my job as a personal trainer, and the rest I just sort of throw on the floor wherever.
Is this OK? Am I gonna catch something if I don't clean more often? I have a new flatmate called James who's a neat freak, and he asked me if I wouldn't mind not dropping my used gym gear around the living room. But fuck, that's just too much effort, you know? When I told him that, that he left in a huff, saying I should "groom myself like an adult", whatever the fuck that means.
That guy has got such a stick up his ass. He spends all day at college or whatever and never wants to go out with me and the other lads.
What do you think, Advice Himbo? Who's in the right here?
Dear Musky Gym Rat,
No worries, bro. You just need to reset relations with James. Tonight I want to go into his room (no need to knock) and tell him you think you got off on the wrong foot and you want to have a heart-to-heart about your hygiene. Explain that showering makes you uncomfortable (you can use the word "neurodivergent" if you're feeling brave), but you're sorry that you upset him.
And you should say that, if it bothers him, he can wash your pits whenever he wants. I suggest going in topless btw. Make sure show him your pits to make your point. Guide his face right in there, show him the source of the problem.
I have a hunch he'll be slurping down your BO in no time. You'll get some help with your hygiene, and he'll learn a valuable lesson about being uptight.
Dear Advice Himbo,
As soon as I read your message, I marched to his door and threw it open. The little guy was playing some computer game and gasped when he turned around. I guess I do look damn impressive these days.
(The gains have been insane, bro. Finally broke 220lbs this year, still with abs. It sucks living the 6-pack lifestyle, but at least I look sick as fuck.)
I had a talk with him like you said. Man, when I flashed him my curly pit hair his eyes went wide. It was hilarious, bro. I laughed in his face and told him to take a closer look. The little man couldn't get enough. I let him munch on those pits for 10 mins, then told him I had to go take care of something.
TBH, bro, I was feeling off-the-charts horny. My sex drive can get pretty crazy, you know? I came pretty quickly and shot the biggest load of the week. Damn, it felt really good.
And the best part is that this little fag keeps coming back for more! Only problem is that I get so boned up every time. Is there anything I can do about that?
Dear Musky,
Happy for you bro! Seems like everything is working out.
It's normal to get horned up when someone touches you like that. Only thing you can do is bust a nut.
It kinda sounds like this guy wants to suck your cock, bro. Wouldn't that solve your problem? If he'll eat your pits I bet he'll eat your loads too. What do you think, bro?
Dear Himbo,
That shit sounds gay, bro. But I gotta be honest, the thought of this guy lusting for my fat hog makes me hard. Maybe I am, like, 5% bicurious. No, shit, maybe 1%. I don't think I'm ready for another dude's lips around my shaft.
But I figured I would meet this fag in the middle and invite him to watch me jerk off my enormous fucking cock. Oh yeah, it's way more fun with an audience. I have to fist that fucker with two hands, it's so big. I'm sure it's the biggest dick James has ever seen, the way he stares at it all slack-jawed. (He probably sucks a lot of cocks, right? That's what I assume, anyway.)
Pretty soon I tell him to "open wide" and spray my nut all over his face. That load was particularly massive, bro, it got in his eyes and hair and shit. I laughed because he is normally so put together, but he looked like a whore coughing and choking as my load dripped into his mouth and nose.
But then he thanked me and it all kinda felt gay again. I told him "whatever," and to get out. I felt a bit grossed out, tbh. But writing about it is making me horny again...
Dear Musky,
Thanks for the update. Sounds like you are really doing James a solid.
If you feel like going the extra mile. You could get him to clean all the "problem areas" - balls, ass, feet - with his mouth. Then, you can probably stop showering entirely. One session every 3-5 days should be plenty.
Dear Himbo,
Something came over me when I read your last message. I was shaking with excitement. I couldn't wait to give that a try!
As luck would have it it's been a few days since I last used soap on my balls. So I called the fag into my room and loudly ordered him to bathe my balls with his tongue.
And that fucker did it! I've never dared a girl to do that. Himbo, I'm no prude, but my balls reeked. I couldn't believe James would stoop so low. I was hard as stone, bro. I started stroking while he cleaned my balls, imagining it was some chick doing it.
When my balls were nice and clean, I started sitting on his face. Jesus Christ, Himbo, can you imagine how foul that hole and crack must have been? And James happily sucked the sweat out of my hairy taint. What a fucking pervert.
Finally, he licked the grime off my toes and arches. It felt so good I had to stoke myself off again. Fuck, why does this fag have to be so good at this? I wish I met a girl who did half of this shit.
Fuck it! I'm hard just writing about this shit. I need to rub one out. I can't wait until "bath time" rolls around again! Never thought I'd say that!
Dear Musky,
I'm glad you enjoyed this experience! It sounds like it was mind-expanding for you and James.
Just saying, but you could save on water bills if James was willing to be your urinal while you're in the flat.
Just a thought! Don't dwell on it if you don't want to.
Yours, Himbo
