๐๐จ๐ญ๐: ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐, ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง.
๐๐ธ๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ด ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข๐ฅ๐ถ๐ญ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ด๐ช๐ต ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ช๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ฏ๐ช๐ค ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฉ. ๐๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ด ๐ข ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ, ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฉ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ค๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ด๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ ๐ข๐ค๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ช๐ข. ๐๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ข ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐บ ๐ด๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ด ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ต๐ช๐ค ๐ง๐ช๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฅ, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ธ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ง๐ง๐ญ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ถ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด...
Thomas teased his junior, always toeing the line between supportive and sarcastic. โCome on man you worry too much. I told you Coach is a good guy. I know he'll let you in.โ
Ari wanted to find these words reassuring. At some level he did, but he also knew fate favored his older friend. โYou say that, but youโre like one of the best wrestlingโฆ er.. people on the team. I literally donโt know the first thing about the sport!โย
Thomas chuckled, pushing his blonde bangs back in mock exasperation. โโWrestlinger people?โโ the larger jock mimicked back. โBoy, you really donโt know shit about wrestling.โ
โThatโs what Iโm saying! I donโt know how your ranks work but I know Iโd be at the bottom.โย
โFunny, I woulda thought youโd be used to that position,โ Thomas joked, blowing an invisible dick with his fist. He was the first person Ari came out to. For many years he was the only person Ari came out to. And though the younger boy had long since left the closet, the trust Ari had for his straight best friend allowed Thomas certain privileges when it came to humor.
โAh. The big guy thinks heโs funny, does he?โ Ari joked back. โAnd what makes you think Iโm a bottom? Iโm as dominant as they come.โ The bluff was Ariโs way of keeping the bit going. Thomas knew Ari was a bottom, and Ari knew that Thomas knew.ย
Thomas smiled, poorly suppressing his laughter. โWell, that's why you should join the team. You can dominate all the guys you want.โ Ari rolled his eyes and scanned his surroundings for something to launch across the table, but the only thing on top its wooden surface were the silhouettes cast down by wind-strum branches. Thomas watched the kaleidoscope of light dance across Ariโs freckled skin. Though it felt like lifetimes ago, Thomas still vividly remembered Ariโs face the day he came out.ย
When his best friend first confessed, Thomas was too young to fully understand what being gay meant. If you were to ask heโd have told you it was a weak or submissive girl. He heard the word used by his father a handful of times when challenging other menโs masculinity, but it was always in a negative context. At the moment Ari confessed, Thomas had wanted to run. He had wanted to reject Ari for being girly or weak. But when he looked at his younger friend, he saw every ounce of Ariโs fear, and Thomas knew heโd always be there to protect him.
โAri, Iโm not always gonna be here to protect you.โ The sudden shift of tone caught Ari by surprise.
โWhat? You don- I donโt need you to protect me.โ Ari cringed, knowing his comment sounded defensive.ย
โDude, I graduate next year, you have no other friends, and you're awkward as shit when you talk to anybody other than me. You let people walk all over your fucking ass, and I know you say it doesn't bother you, but I can tell it does.โ
Ari hated how his body language betrayed his emotions. It was so easy for others to read. Ari felt his anxiety rising, as his heart rate and foot bounced in unison. โSounds to me like youโre projecting. Are you sure you're not just going to miss-โ
โI'm not fucking joking, man.โ Thomasโ voice was firm, fully shutting down Ariโs attempt at deflection. โLook, I wanna do right by you, and part of that means seeing you get stronger and make some connections that aren't me.โ Ari was still trying to mask his discomfort, despite his leg vibrating the whole picnic bench. His attention was focused on poorly feigning eye contact, a performance that left Thomas unconvinced.
โI meanโฆ the bullying just comes with the territory.โ Ari wasnโt one to stir the pot. It wasn't from a lack of confidence. He did lack confidence, but it was just practically easier to submit to whatever momentary harassment came his way. Much like in the current conversation, conflict avoidance was Ariโs main priority. He appreciated Thomas' concern, but he felt guilty for it as well. โPlus all that dominant alpha stuff really only happens in high school. It's not like a grown-ass adult is gonna humiliate another man because heโs not as masculine...โ Ari could feel Thomasโ eyes watching him, yet he didnโt speak. For a time, both let the quiet moment last, with nothing but the windy branches designating the moment's tone. โโฆI just gotta ride out the next two years then itโs off to greener horizons.โ Behind Ari, a ringing chime let them know their momentary respite was coming to an end.
Ari stood up from the picnic bench, supporting his palm on the table. He had already concluded with the conversation, letting his mind wander off to his next class. Thomas placed a hand on the smaller boyโs, causing Ari to turn his head in surprise. โJust talk to Coach. If it doesn't stick, it doesn't stick. But just try it outโฆ Pleaseโฆ For me?โ Ari stood there with his friendโs hand holding his own. He saw the genuine desire in Thomas's eyes. He knew he couldnโt say no.
โโฆFuckโฆ Fine, you win. Iโll talk to the coach. But no promises.โ Ari felt his grip on the table give, as Thomas pulled him firmly into a hug. Ari just rolled his eyes, letting his larger friend pull him off his feet. He really did lack a backbone, and one of these days his willingness to submit was going to bite him in the ass.
