All Out Confessions
Once again, I found myself in Corey’s big arms, crying into his chest, breathing in his scent, hoping it could anchor me - begging it to comfort me. For the second time this morning, I felt completely broken, my composure was shattered into so many pieces I didn’t know if it could ever be put back together.
I pulled away, leaning back into the chair. “I’m just so lost. I don’t understand anything anymore.” My voice weak, barely audible. “I don’t know what’s real, or what I’m imagining, or what I was trying to wish into reality. Corey, I like - no, I’m sorry - I think I almost fell in love with you.”
I couldn’t look at him as I spoke. My words tumbled out, raw and jagged. “But I get it now. All your kindness and caring… that’s just part of your job, right? To make people feel comfortable during a really ‘intimate and exposed’ test. But I - I started reading a lot more into it than I should have. You’ve made me realize how much I miss having a best friend, a big brother, a dad - just… someone.”
I forced myself to take a shaky breath, ignoring my tears that were threatening to fall again. “And I really need to leave now. Because I know that someone can’t be you. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Please, sir, I just need to go.”
Corey resumed our hug and his arms tightened around me, holding me in place. “Ollie,” he said softly, his voice steady but tinged with something I couldn’t yet determine, “listen to me. There’s so much you don’t know. So much I probably - no, definitely - should have told you sooner.”
He leaned back just enough to make me meet his gaze, his hands firm and warm on my shoulders. “Let me start with my confession. If you think you were ‘juvenile’ for slowly falling for me over two hours, imagine how childish I felt when I started falling for you at first sight.”
I blinked, stunned, my mind racing again to catch up with his words.
“When I opened the waiting room door this morning and saw you - this big, beautiful boy who was trying so hard to be brave, but was so obviously terrified and alone - I felt instincts shaper than I’d never felt before. I wanted to grab you, hold you close, take you home and protect you forever. From then on, the more you shared with me, the more I knew my first impression was right, and the more I found myself completely falling for the amazing person you are.
“Ollie, everything we’ve done today has been 100% legit, but I couldn’t stop myself. I knew it was professionally, well, risky, but I had to give you all the comforting touches I could - more than I’ve ever given a patient before. I’ve even lost count of all our full-frontal hugs. I don’t usually, okay ever, do that. And by the way, no - that was not a normal rectal exam or prostate massage. I mean they were mechanically correct, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted to make sure you enjoyed it. I wanted you to feel the extra care I was putting into it.
“And it wasn’t just that. I hope you felt the same with - sorry - the enema. You’re absolutely capable of staying upright on your own without my arm across your chest. But I… I wanted to hold you. And I thought you wanted to be held, too.
“When I kissed your armpit, Ollie, yes. I was trying to distract you. But I can’t lie; I loved it. And when I saw that you did, too… I realized I might’ve crossed the line from risky over to dangerous. I lost my nerve and tried to blow it off like it was nothing. Please believe me when I say this: I’ve never, ever, pinched another patient’s nipple.” He chuckled lightly as his cheeks flushed a soft pink.
“Then I saw the shift in your eyes, and I realized I’d done something far worse than crossing a line - I made you feel betrayed. Or at least tricked. And I panicked. I couldn’t let you leave like that. From the little slip-ups you made during our conversations, I had a strong suspicion that you didn’t have a real home to go back to. And I’m so, so sorry for asking you that awful question when you were at your most vulnerable. I only did it because… because I hoped it would make you stay long enough for me to recover from my mistake.
“Ollie, yes, I like you. More than I should probably admit. I want to be your friend, your big brother - or something more, if that’s what you’d ever want. But whatever it may be, I just want to be here for you now. Please forgive me?”
Tears were streaming down my cheeks once again, but they had changed. They weren’t sad anymore. Instead, they were hopeful - almost happy. I wiped at my eyes, failing miserably, and said the first dumb thing that popped into my head: “Buddy, when you decide to make a confession, you go all out.”
I chuckled through my tears and leaned forward to hug him in tight, wrapping my arms around him like I’d never let go. For the first time, I felt my need echoed in his embrace - like he’d never let go either. I noticed a few tears on his face too.
Chapter 13: The First Kiss
Corey leaned back, straightened up, sniffed his tears away, and with a small but reassuring smile, Nurse Corey had regained control. “Ollie, I know I might be pressing my luck here, but I’m serious. You’re still very naked, and you still need to, well, have a release. I can leave the room and let you handle it on your own, or I can stay and help give you the ending you deserve. It’s totally up to you, but you’re not leaving here without having an orgasm first.”
He chuckled softly, a hint of nervousness making him even more endearing. “And here’s one more confession - there’s absolutely no way this is a standard part of the test.” His grin turned playful. “Except for a couple of very unintentional accidents, I’ve never helped a patient have an orgasm before. I mean, I do give them the same speech I gave you, about why it’s important. But then I send them on their way. And they are. On. Their. Own.”
His expression brightened; his voice suddenly inviting. “So, if I may… Would you like to follow me back over to the exam table, one last time?”
I was back in his care again. “Yes sir!” I replied; my dick was already hard and enthusiastically pointing the way. I tried not to run over to the padded table at the back of the room.
“Are you ready to take this to the next level, my boy? Just hop up and lie back with your knees bent up. I think the best way I can help is by tickling your new favorite body part with one hand, while my other hand finds its own kind of mischief. All while you s-l-o-w-l-y take matters into your own hand. There’s no need to rush this, you deserve to savor every feeling you’re about to experience.”
I jumped on the table and lowered my back down onto its padding, I raised my knees and looked over at Corey. I was hard as a steel pipe and was already worried that my dick was going to rush our time whether Corey wanted to or not.
I saw him get the tube of lube again and start slicking up two fingers on his right hand. And I involuntarily uttered, “Um, aren’t you going to use a glove?”
“The test is over Ollie. I’d really like to touch you with my bare hands if you’re okay with that. And before we get too much further, do you want any lube for your part of the task?”
I grinned, “Nope, it’s one of the joys of being uncircumcised.”
Corey returned to the table with a nearly predatory smirk, “Okay my boy, raise your knees to your chest and show me your playing field one more time.”
I did, only this time, I didn’t feel like I was simply exposing myself to Corey. I felt like I was offering myself and inviting him in. My anticipation was off the charts and I was starting to shiver again.
Then… everything stopped when I felt his fingers finally touch my expectant hole. I whimpered and involuntarily raised my bottom to better greet his fingers.
Corey gave me a corrective look, “Easy Ollie, I said we’re going to take it slowly this time. That way we can do new things, like this…”
His face quickly changed into the most passionate smile. He kept his fingers firmly on my hole as he moved his body closer to mine, leaning over me. Face to face. His eyes silently asked the question I was longing to hear. And my eyes screamed “Yes!” in return. He lowered his head and our lips touched for the first time.
Every kiss I’d ever had before simply vanished into nothingness, erased in an instant. This will forever be my first kiss. His beard brushing against my skin, his scent enveloping me, his breath merging with mine - it was all-consuming. I wanted to cry out, overwhelmed with pure joy. But all I could do was let his probing tongue part my lips exactly at the moment his two bare fingers slid past my resistance. I moaned into his mouth, and pushed my hips up even higher, to make his flingers slide in deeper.
Corey eventually broke our kiss and gazed into my eyes. “How are you liking our new level my beautiful boy? Before you answer, consider this...” As his fingers finally connected with their target.
My enthusiasm exploded, but my words were primitive, “Damn! Please, just never stop Corey. Ever. Oh my god! Um, I have no idea why I ever said ‘no’ to you.”
There was a trace of regret in his always kind eyes, “Because I accidently upset you. And I promise that I’m so going to make it up to you.”
Corey unexpectedly slipped back into nurse command mode, but with a playful twist: “You can lower your feet back to the table now Ollie, I’m where I need to be. And how ‘bout you raise your left arm please. Oh, and feel free to continue your task with your right one.” He raised an eyebrow, “but remember, slowly.”
I happily complied. As soon as my blond pit curls were again in his view, Corey leaned back down and nuzzled his nose in as far as he could. There was no quick sniff and lick this time. I reveled in the prolonged sensation and was almost on the verge of overstimulation.
He took a deep breath and then started sensually rubbing his chin and beard all up, down, and around my pit.
Forever the mind reader, he slowly moved back over my face and seductively said, “It’s the best part of having a beard. I’m scenting it with my Ollie’s musk. Now I’ll never forget it.” As he kissed me again, I could smell my scent on him. Damn. My joy was racing up so many new levels.
As overwhelmed as I was, there was absolutely no way I could coherently express any of the new desires rushing through my overloaded mind. So, Corey did it for me. “My Ollie, there are a lot of things I can’t do here, but if you’d like, I can at least make this a little less one-sided.”
I just nodded to his offer and started involuntarily quivering once again. But then immediately almost let a word of protest slip past my lips as I felt his fingers slide out of my playing field.
He caught my confused look, “Shhh, no worries my boy, they’ll be right back. I just couldn’t do this without leaving you untouched for a second.” With that, Corey faced me like I had faced him hours ago. He crossed his arms and quickly removed his scrubs top.
He gave me a sheepish grin, his voice quiet but playful, “Sorry, I can’t remove my bottoms. At least not here. We’ll have to save that level for a more appropriate place.” My Norse God stood there, modest smirk intact, as if waiting for my approval - a living, breathing masterpiece offering himself to my gaze.
I froze, caught in the now-familiar spell of Corey’s presence. Somehow, I managed to stammer, “C-Corey! You’re… beautiful. You’re, um, like my fantasy man - times ten.”
His smile brightened into something even more radiant, and his voice carried a warmth that melted the last of my worries away. “Aww, I’m honored. Just understand Ollie, I’m never going to slap you to the floor, and I’ll always be here to hug you, no matter how old you get.” Joy exploded from my chest, filling every corner of my soul.
Corey was a work of art. His dark blond fur, slightly thicker and deeper in tone than how I remembered my father’s, framed his broad, rounded pecs perfectly. A triangular treasure trail disappeared into the waistband of his scrub bottoms, the soft lines of his tummy fur enhancing the hard ridges of his abs. And his pits - dark, damp, and utterly intoxicating - radiated masculinity. In that moment, I knew: I had found a new home. Or at least, I was about to feel truly safe and protected for the first time since fleeing mine.
He leaned back over me with his fingers gently yet expertly returning to their playing field. While I thought he was about to resume our kiss, instead he raised my left arm back up over my head and planted his tongue firmly in my curly blond tuft. Heaven again. Except he wasn’t done, he maneuvered his left pit so that it was over my face. And I instinctively accepted his offer.
I dove in. His scent was grounding; it was a bit like mine; and yet it was still all Corey. And just like our kiss, I will always remember my first time of being offered this man’s scent. It’s indelibly stamped into my brain. As I continued to lick and suck and sniff, it was as if we were, well, I guess, 69-ing each other’s musk makers. And in doing so, creating our own unique combined scent.
Once again, I was overwhelmed and said those two most contradictory words, but gentler this time with less urgently. “Cory, stop - please. Just for a second. I don’t think I can hold off much longer, and I really want to be kissing you when I cum.”
He smiled at me and softly said, “Your wish is my command.” We laughed at the cheesiness until his fingers suddenly got even more serious with my prostate and his lips reconnected with mine.
As my pressure built and my stroke speed increased, I once again had to hold back tears from running down my cheeks. It didn’t matter, because just three quick breaths later, and both Corey and I had something other than tears streaming down our cheeks. Or maybe that should be “gushing.” I shot all over our beards, my chest, my abs and finally, just dribbled into my bush. Would it be redundant to say that my first shared climax had also just wiped all prior orgasms from my memory?
Corey’s fingers slowly slipped from my soul, but his lips remained on mine as we both continued reveling in my post orgasmic bliss. But as I came down from my high, I started giggling - uncontrollably. Wait, what?
I finally managed to calm my giggles and give Corey a sheepish grin. “I swear, that was so incredible and so not funny. I mean, it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. But I’m just well… happy. I haven’t felt this good, this carefree, in… well, since you know.” My voice trailed off, but the joy in my chest was undeniable.
With a tenderness that made my heart sing, Corey gently brushed his fingers through my hair. “I couldn’t be happier either, Ollie. And trust me, we’ve only scratched the surface. There are so many more levels for us to explore together.”
He paused in realization, giving me a funny-but-pained smile. “But right now, we need to clean up and get out of this room before someone starts knocking.” His hand lingered on my cheek for a final moment before he reluctantly pulled away. “Just lie there, my beautiful boy and catch your breath. I’ll grab a washrag. You’ve got a lot of little baby Ollies in your beard - and, well, just about everywhere else. I was right, you definitely needed that.”
Chapter 14: Super Mario Cart
I waited in my Bronco as Corey pulled around in his car. Dang - a Mustang Mach E! My man is electric. It’s funny, I always thought the EV Mustang looked like a muscle car in its third trimester, but now? Seeing Corey in his, I’ve reassessed its merits. It’s officially the coolest car on the planet. And of course, it’s the most appropriate chariot to carry my Norse God. He parked next to me and strolled over to my window.
“Ollie, now that I’ve found you, please don’t let me lose you,” he said with a half-smile that was equal parts playful and sincere.
I beamed and held up my iPhone. “No worries, I’ve got Google Maps. Where are we going?”
“It’s almost lunchtime, and I’m guessing neither of us had breakfast this morning.” His eyes danced over me knowingly. I didn’t feel the need to admit I hadn’t eaten dinner last night either, so I just nodded.
“Cool. Trust me on this, put ‘4434 Harry Hines Blvd’ into your phone. Got it? Show it to me - let me see.” LOL, he definitely wasn’t about to lose me.
“Awesome. It’s a little place called the Original Market Diner. It’s a real diner so we can decide whether we’re feeling more like breakfast or lunch when we get there. And Ollie…” He paused, his tone turning serious, “don’t overthink it too much, but, we really need to talk. Just… not on empty stomachs.”
I gave him a questioning look, “I promise I won’t, but um, can’t I just follow you?”
“Of course you can - that’s the plan. But this is Dallas traffic. In case anything happens and we get separated, I want you to know where we’re going. And duh! We need to exchange contacts while we’re at it.”
We began our maniacal Super Mario Kart race straight into the heart of Dallas. Back in Michigan, I’d always done my best to avoid Detroit craziness for all my driving life, but Dallas and Fort Worth traffic made Detroit look absolutely sane. Between reckless drivers - Turn Signals? We don’t need no stinking Turn Signals! - and random unexplainable pockets of construction - oh and even a freaking car on fire - it really was like driving through a video game freeway obstacle course.
During rare gaps in the bumper-car chaos, I caught a few glimpses of downtown Dallas. The city had a big, brash, boldness about it. As if it was something whose only reason for being, was to be huge and impressive. Through it all, I managed to keep my eyes glued to Corey’s sleek EV taillights, determined not to lose him either. I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally entered the tiny parking lot of our little diner - undented and unscratched - and found two open parking spots.
Chapter 15: Everyone Needs an Ollie in Their Life
As soon as we stepped out of our vehicles and reconnected, Corey pulled me into another hug, completely unconcerned with the world around us. For a moment, I stiffened. I don’t know… doing this so boldly and out in the open was really new to me. I felt almost embarrassed - or at least a little self-conscious. I know Corey felt my concern. He confidently looked into my doubting eyes to reassure me, “Ollie, it’s all okay. You don’t need to hide anything anymore.”
He smiled and quickly returned to the task at hand, “Let’s go get some food, and I’ll try my best to explain everything you don’t know - in a way that won’t leave you feeling embarrassed, exposed, or tricked again.”
I raised an eyebrow and retorted, “You do understand that you’re supposed to be the older and wiser one, right? So, you gotta know that wasn’t your best opening line.” I gave him a chance to see my mischievous grin before continuing, “This place better have some amazing food to make up for it.” His face registered a hint of respect at my attempt to recover from my little blunder.
We walked across the parking lot toward the diner, as I took it all in. This place was like stepping into a time capsule - like episodes of Happy Days had never ended. Or better yet, like they’d been real all along. The wait staff inside were either 50’s-era moms personified or, well - gay. And at least a few of the tables had couples or groups that were pretty obviously gay too. Hey, maybe that was what the ‘50s were really like - just hidden under its happy surface.
The hostess led us around a display of rotating pies, past the register and into a second dining room. And finally gestured to the last booth on the left - back by the far wall of the building. As soon as we slid in and opened our menus, Corey gleefully switched into big brother mode, recommending his two favorite menu items. One if I wanted breakfast, the other if I was leaning toward lunch. The breakfast option - something called “Sam’s Benedict” - sounded really delicious, so I ordered it, plus a side of pancakes. I was absolutely starving.
As she took our orders, our waitress - definitely one of the “moms” - was clearly trying to figure out exactly what Corey and I meant to each other. I couldn’t blame her. Heck, I was trying to figure that one out myself.
Corey waited until our “mom” left, before leaning across the table, his gaze kind but serious. “Okay, my Ollie, you’ve had forty-five long minutes alone in your car. I know that overthinking brain of yours has been hard at work, writing lots of new inner monologue. So… how are we doing?”
I let out a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding and relaxed. “Hey, you’re the one who keeps dropping ominous hints about things I don’t know. You’ve already ripped two painful band-aids off me today. Could you maybe just please… rip this one off now too?”
“Fair enough.” Corey’s expression turned solemn, his hands resting on the table between us. “So, remember earlier, when I asked you that awful question? The question I already suspected I knew the answer to?” His voice caught slightly, and he cleared his throat. “God, Ollie, I’m sorry I had to do that. And you… well, you said, ‘It’s all I have.’” He paused, his voice trembling just enough to let me know how deeply my revelation had affected him.
“Ollie, please don’t get upset. But your Bronco isn’t even close to being all you have. While we may have just met in person this morning, I’ve actually known about you for a lot longer.”
My eyes were threatening to get real damp again, and it kind of looked like Corey’s might start dripping as well. I swallowed hard and gave him a small nod to urge him to continue - unsure if it was really what I wanted him to do.
Corey gave a weak smile and attempted to lighten the moment. “Hey, instead of raising your arms above your head this time, maybe you could just hand me your car keys?”
Without thinking, I actually started to. He chuckled softly but didn’t take them. Instead, he just firmly held my hands over the table.
“Ollie, I don’t think you realize the kind of impression you leave on the people you meet. You deliver an impact that makes everyone instantly deeply care about you. Your whole team at work absolutely adores you. They see your talent, your kindness, and your determination.
“And believe me, they’ve been watching you, and worrying about you. They knew you were going through some really tough times. So, they kept trying to find ways to get you to ask them for help. But apparently, if there’s one thing you don’t do well, it’s to admit when you need it. Which, in its own way, makes them care and worry about you even more.
“They don’t know the full story of what happened during your fight, or even why it happened. I think I’ve figured some of it out, but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that the fight’s consequences gave them the opportunity to intervene with your personal life. It gave them an excuse to care for you the way you deserve.
“And, Ollie…” Corey hesitated for just a moment, his tone more serious than ever. “I don’t know if you’ve thought about it, but you’ve never asked me about my last name. It’s been on my scrub’s name tag all morning, but I’m guessing you’ve had, well, you know, other things on your mind.”
He gave a small, nearly playful smile, “So, my brave boy, here goes your last band-aid: Hello Oliver Carson, it’s been amazing getting to know you this morning, I’m Corey Rainer.”
I froze. My mind buffering the unexpected details for several seconds before their understanding hit me - harder than the pain from tape being ripped off my most sensitive parts earlier this morning. My breath caught. “Wait - you’re Dr. Rainer’s son?!”
“That’s right my boy - yes. And as I’ve asked you to do so many times today, please don’t freak. Just let me explain. And, well… maybe really, give me your car keys.” Corey winked, flashing an impossibly sweet smile; it worked.
It was more than enough to keep me from bolting up and out of our booth. Then again, I wasn’t entirely sure I could bolt anyway. Lurd! Why was everything so tiny in this quaint little place? Was everybody really that much smaller back in the ‘50s? Or - was this why Corey brought me here, to trap me in a nostalgia-filled cage where I couldn’t make a quick escape?
Corey fixed me in his gaze once again as he continued. “Here’s the whole story. My dad - your urologist - isn’t just a good friend of your mentor, Ted. They’ve been a couple for the last 20 years and married since 2015. So! What that means is, right now, you’re sitting across from the result of my dad’s one and only ‘practice’ with a real girl.” He punctuated his revelation, “See? I really have been listening to everything you’ve shared with me today.
“Dad and Mom tried marriage for a while, but it wasn’t the right thing for either of them. I mean, they both loved me very much, but they also knew that staying together wasn’t going to make anyone happy in the long run.
“Like you, I’ve always been my father’s son. I love my mom, and I got to see her as often as I wanted, but my dad was - and still is - my world. So, when you told me your story, Ollie… it shattered my heart. I cried because I could imagine exactly how devastating it would feel to lose that connection.
“Unlike you, I had a happy ending. When I came out to Dad, he just hugged me, laughed and said, ‘Well, I guess you got all my best genes. I love you son.’ That’s what you deserved to hear too - the simple acceptance and understanding from the person you loved and needed most.”
Corey pivoted slightly, realizing he may have accidently given me a new cause for concern, “And please don’t worry. You haven’t been outed to anyone you’re not ready to tell. No one on your team knows you’re gay - though, believe me, none of them would care. They all just think you’re the greatest co-op they’ve ever known. But ‘Uncle Ted’ - yep, that’s what I call him - strongly suspected it and yes, he knows for sure now. That was kinda unavoidable.”
Corey paused, watching me closely. “You’re awfully quiet, but you don’t look like you’re going to faint or flee. Are you okay?”
I let out a shaky breath. “I have no idea. I can’t figure out anything to say yet. So… what else?”
“So, it was a no-brainer for Ted to send you to dad… Er, Chris… Ah, Dr. Rainer. And when it became clear that you needed this test, they asked me to step in. They trusted me to take care of a boy they had both gotten to know and love.”
I blinked hard at the word “love” but stayed silent.
Corey continued; his reassuring baritone keeping me calm. “I was supposed to do the test and discreetly get as much personal information out of you as I could. They both suspected you were living in your Bronco, but they wanted me to confirm it. So that they could help you.
“I agreed to their plan, but what I never imagined was that I’d immediately fall for you too. At first, I was just trying to get information - to help you and do what I’d promised. But after only our first few minutes together, everything changed. I suddenly needed to know everything about you - not because I had been asked to, but because I realized I cared so much about you.
And, in a strange way - even for today - I knew I had to earn your trust. In fact, it became the most important thing for me to do. Yet I still came so close to blowing it, and losing you. I’m so sorry my Ollie.”
His look saddened until he paused and regrouped.
Corey’s voice grew more confident and he straightened up. “Ollie, what I’m trying to say is - again - your Bronco isn’t even close to being all you have. You’ve got a whole team of people at work. You have two new dads, well, maybe granddads - don’t you dare repeat that!” His mischievous grin had returned. “And you’ve got me. All of us care about you and will always be here for you, whenever you need us.
“Congratulations, Oliver Carson. You’ve managed to ace the hardest test this life has ever thrown at you.”He reached over and gently cupped my cheek. “Like I said, everyone needs an Ollie in their life. Please, be in ours… Please be in mine.”
I didn’t think my insides could melt any more than they already had today, but they absolutely did.
Chapter 16: Learning Texan
Even after such an amazing moment, Corey smoothly shifted back into his mischievous mode. “Oh, and just so you know, Dad and Ted have already set up a room for you at their place. I think you’ll like it… it used to be mine.”
“Wait, what?” My jaw practically hit the table. “You’re telling me all of this… Pulling me into this… This amazing new world, and I’m supposed to just accept it without winding up with you?”
Corey leaned back, his soft chuckle was warm and disarming. “Ollie, my boy, this isn’t some fantasy porn story. There’s no way we get to just skip ahead to living happily ever after together. We have to be real; I just turned 29 and you’re only 19 - fine almost 20 - but still in school, and just now starting to figure out what being gay means to you. I care about you way too much to rush into anything and wind up putting unnecessary pressure on you to figure everything out all at once.”
He gave me another gentle, knowing smile, “Remember how embarrassed you were - just a little while ago - out there in the parking lot? You’re still learning Ollie. And that’s exactly what you need to do, you just need space to do it.
“When I stepped out of our room earlier this morning for those ‘administrative items’ - while you were trying to pee, I gave Dad a call. I filled him in on how everything was going and, I gave him the rest of the story from my car on our way here. He’s as shocked - and thrilled - as I am about what’s happened between us. But his dad genes roared into overdrive. He’s already laid down the law. And honestly, I can’t disagree with him.
“Ollie, you’re so new to all this and so vulnerable right now. You’ve been through so much abuse recently. None of us - me, Dad, Ted - can bear the thought of you being hurt any more. I know it might be hard to understand, but moving in with me, right now, would probably only add more stress to your life. And that’s the last thing I want for you.
“Believe me, I want to be with you. I want to learn you, to give you everything you deserve. But if we ever have a fight - and we will because even the happiest couples do - I don’t ever want you feeling like your only option is to go sleep in your Bronco again. I want you to have a safe place, one that’s yours, no matter what’s happening with us.
“Please don’t doubt what happened between us today. It was real. It is real. I haven’t felt this way about someone in… well, ever. But we’re not on equal footing yet. I need to make sure you’ll always be okay, Ollie, even if -” his voice faltered, as his sky-blue eyes sought reassurance from mine, “- even if we don’t work out. I need to know that you’ll be safe.” His smile quickly returned, “And if you’re wondering? Yes. I’m hoping with all my heart that we do.”
“While we’re exploring us and figuring out exactly what we are, I want you to be safe and secure with Dad and Ted. I’ll even spend the weekend with y’all to help you settle in. And don’t worry, I only live a neighborhood away from your new home. We’ll always be close. So, Ollie, will you make it official: mi padre’s casa es tu casa. Si?”
I rolled my eyes, “Corey, I’m from Michigan. I don’t speak Texan.” I managed a genuine, carefree chuckle, my first one in what felt like forever.
When I was unexpectedly banished from my home three months ago, I’d never felt more lost and alone. I thought back to my exodus down I-69 - getting sick along the side of the road, realizing I had no idea what to expect and no one to turn to. But now, on this unimaginable morning, I regained something I thought I’d lost forever: People who cared about me. People I could be good for. People I could make proud. And maybe, people I could love - and who would love me back.
A long-forgotten, but welcome feeling washed over me.
“Corey,” I said, suddenly laughing at the absurdity of it all, “where’s the restroom? I really, really need to go pee.”
Corey’s face lit up with his trademark mischievous grin. “It’s just right over there. That’s my boy!”
Afterword
Thank you for reading Ollie’s Test. This story means more to me than I can fully express, and I’d like to share why.
When I was a couple of years older than Ollie - fresh out of my co-op program, about to start my career - I had an experience that left a lasting mark on me. During what I thought was going to be a routine physical, a doctor crossed a line. It wasn’t violent or forced, but it was deeply inappropriate, and I didn’t know enough to recognize it at the time. I was naïve, trusting, and completely unprepared for the humiliation that followed. When the inevitable happened, the doctor laughed at me - convincing me it was my fault. I left the building in tears and didn’t see another doctor for over a decade.
Years later, a psychiatrist friend gave me an idea: take that moment and turn it into fiction. Reclaim control. Rewrite the narrative so that, instead of shame and helplessness, the main character could find strength, protection, and understanding.
Then, just a few months ago, I underwent the same urodynamic flow study that Ollie experiences in this book. The nurse performing it - a kind, middle-aged mother of two - confided in me that late-teen and early-20s boys often struggled during the procedure. Many became overwhelmed, some broke down in tears. I suddenly found myself reliving my own past, but this time, I had an outlet. I had an Ollie. And I invented a Corey - Ollie's champion and protector - to make sure the story played out the way I wished it had for me.
That’s why I wrote this book. I had to. I needed Ollie (and me) to have someone in his (our) corner, and I hope his journey resonates with you as much as it has for me.
Thank you for being here, Mark
