written with Corporal Cody
Madrid, January 2008
It was my first time flying to a different continent. I was keyed up coming over to Europe for the first time and couldn't sleep much on my flight. I had a guidebook I’d picked up at the bookstore at the last minute and spent some of the time reading it the first hour or so of the flight. However, I had a feeling Sean Carter would have everything planned out for the 6 days we were going to be in Spain.
It was Sean who picked Madrid as a place to meet for his R&R time. He wasn't able to swing getting off during Christmas, but honestly I didn't care. The second week of January would do fine. Work at the sporting goods store was super slow after the holidays, and they were happy to give me the time off unpaid. And I'd covered for some of my coworkers’ shifts around Christmas and New Years.
Sean took care of the rest, including booking my flight from Dulles. Even last week, he hadn’t been completely sure of his arrival date, but Sean had emailed me the day before, confirming his arrival in Madrid.
Sean wasn't there to help me navigate the immigration and large airport in my groggy, disoriented state, but I just followed people and the bilingual signs and found my way. Back over the summer, Sean had asked me to get a passport with no specified plans, but now it felt cool to get my first stamp in the pristine little blue booklet.
It felt unreal to see the now 44-year-old Soldier standing there just past the security area. He was in his civilian clothes, wearing jeans and a windbreaker over a sweatshirt that didn't quite cling to his muscular, broad-shouldered build. I had no trouble spotting him, as his 6'5" frame also towered above the others, and I could make out his favorite faded-red Georgia ballcap immediately. I felt the grin break across my face as I began weaving between the bodies towards him.
Beneath the brim of the weathered cap, I could see the excitement in his dark eyes, the crow’s feet crinkling at the corners, and the smile on his sun-weathered face. He looked more rugged than usual, but still handsome as hell. His smile always looked cocky, at least when it came to our connection. And even though I know he shaved this morning, he already had that swath of 5 o’clock shadow across his movie star jawline.
"Come here, Big Guy," he said as he stretched his thick arms out for a hug, and I practically rushed into his embrace.
"Aw Chief, so good to see you," I mumbled into his shoulder, my cheek pressing into his neck as I wrapped my arms around his back, clutching the fabric of his wind-breaker and feeling his hard body press back into mine. His familiar woodsy cologne mingled in my nostrils, too.
Sean held me tight enough that I could feel his warm breath in my hair. We hugged for a good minute then finally broke off, staring into each other's eyes before we finally dropped our hands. I clutched the strap at my chest. Sean looked intently at me. We wanted to kiss each other so bad, but that would have to wait. But I could tell from the glint in his brown eyes he was happy to see me.
"Hungry?" he asked. That Southern drawl slipping into that one word.
"A little," I said, smiling back as I looked up at him, still not fully believing that he was there in front of me. "Not much."
"Good, because they don't believe in breakfast here," he joked in his typical deadpan, taking from me the carry-on bag I'd borrowed from Dad. I was going to object but decided to let him. It was actually great not to have to think about finding my way through the busy airport. Sean just walked us out to the taxi area, where we waited a few minutes until we were at the front of the line. The weather was definitely gloomy, gray, and drizzly.
Standing next to Sean on the curb, I couldn't stop grinning at him, which made him laugh.
"Great to see you, Jimmy," he said, winking at me. I’d somehow forget just how tall he could seem standing next to me. The two inch height difference wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make me notice.
"Great to see you, too, Chief," I said as I bumped his shoulder with mine,
I'll admit I'd had some apprehensions about what seeing Sean would be like. It had been six long months since we'd seen each other, and despite the phone sex opportunity, we had been more circumspect in our correspondence. While Sean was deployed, it felt like everything was on hold between us. On top of that, I'd fooled around with other guys, and had even crossed that incestuous line with Dad again.
But now, face-to-face with Sean, I knew the chemistry between us was as strong as ever. And as we got into the cab, Sean placed his hand on my thigh, noticeably high, squeezing it through my sweatpants.
He spoke to the driver, giving directions in fluent Spanish.
"When did you learn to speak Spanish?" I asked.
Sean looked over at me, and was just now realizing that I was surprised. "Took some in high school, but it was mostly in the Army when I learned it… SOUTHCOM… and a few vacations helped. I'm actually pretty good at languages, for someone who sucked at school," he said.
"What else do you know?"
Sean settled back into the seat, still smiling at me.
"I get by in Greek," he said. "And I know a smidge of Arabic." I must have had an incredulous look on my face. I'd taken a little Spanish in high school, but it didn't stick. "I don't know," he added with a small shrug, "I just seem to pick it up."
"Man, that's awesome." I felt bad for being surprised, like I was doubting Sean's intelligence or looking down on him for enlisting instead of going to college right out of high school. Thankfully, the man didn't seem to have a chip on his shoulder.
We settled back into the taxi seat, heads resting back as we looked at each other. Sean's hand was still on my leg, and I moved mine to touch his thigh, which elicited a sly grin from him.
"Flight was good?" he asked.
"Yeah, I guess," I said. "Had a hard time sleeping."
"You should try to stay up the first day," he explained. "Or your body clock will be messed up."
It was weird to me how much Sean's military demeanor was like Dad's, detail-focused and maybe used to being in charge. I didn't mind in the least. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I was thrilled to see Command Sergeant Major Carter in the flesh, his olive-complected skin fleshly tanned, and his square, masculine jaw freshly shaved despite the stubble starting to grow back in.
There was a kind of torture having to compose myself and carry on a normal conversation in the back of the cab, when I craved to kiss Sean and feel up his body. I thought of his cock and his ass and his hard-muscled torso and powerful legs. I anticipated what we’d do once the ride from the airport was over.
Beneath the brim of his ballcap, his brown eyes looked at me, silently taking me in, too. I could tell he was glad to see me, and horny, too.
"I told you the weather's shit," he said abruptly, breaking the reverie as we drove through the rainy cityscape of the built-up suburbs.
"Those weren't your exact words," I joked.
He smirked. "I'll take rain over cold," he said. "Should clear up in a couple of days."
"You have things planned?" I asked. This whole trip was last minute, I honestly didn't know what to expect.
Sean nodded and leaned in, giving a deep whisper in my ear. "Yeah,” Sean’s gravely voice was seductive and sexual. “You and me holed up in our hotel room, fucking." He leaned back, a knowing look on his face. "Sound like a plan?" he asked more normally.
I nodded, my face feeling warmer with sexual excitement. "Yeah, sounds great," I said, giving him my own wry smile.
I was getting hard in my sweatpants, and it would be harder to hide if I got more aroused. Sean gave me a wink and squeezed my thigh.
"You been bulking up?" he asked, his eyes sweeping up and down my body.
I smiled. "Some, yeah," I replied. I didn't have quite the washboard abs as the last time Sean and I were together, but I'd spent the off season hitting the gym hard, and it had paid off. I’d work on cutting when training started back up again.
"Nice," he said. He leaned in again to whisper in my ear. "Don't worry, Jim, it's not going to be all sex while you're here. But you know me."
"I don't mind," I whispered back. "Fuck, I'm just so glad to see you, Sean."
He smiled. "I just wanna have a lot of fun this week, OK?" he said. I wondered if he was heading off relationship talk at the pass, but it wasn't something I was inclined to take up anyway. Not while Sean was deployed.
"We will," I assured him, though now I worried about the pressure of making sure Sean got the most out of his R&R time.
We made good time getting into the city and the neighborhood. The boulevards seemed grand and pretty busy, but once the taxi turned off, the smaller streets were filled with old architecture. I'm sure if Dad were with me, he could explain when everything was built, but it all just seemed old to me.
Sean paid the cabbie with some Spanish rattled off. Of the slew of words, I think I caught only "gracias." Again, Sean took charge of getting my luggage out and guided me out of the rain and into the grand front entrance of the hotel. I hadn't expected such a nice place to stay, as we made our way in, past a door being held open by a doorman, I made a comment to that effect.
"It's worth the splurge," Sean said. "I just want a nice fucking bed to sleep in for a change, you know?" he said. "It's what I've been looking forward to most... well, maybe a close second," he added with a smirk.
"What's number one?" I teased, playing a little dumb.
Sean patted my shoulder briefly. "I'll give ya three guesses Jimmy."
I thought we were gonna go straight to the hotel room to fuck, but Sean guided us to the grand dining room, where breakfast was set up.
"You need some grub, kiddo," he said with authority as he set my luggage down next to an empty table for two. "They have American coffee here, too. You can decide if you like the Spanish stuff."
Part of me was impatient to connect physically with Sean. Even to kiss the man. But he was right: I was hungrier than I realized, and I went back for seconds.
"Feeling better?" he asked, his eyes playfully on me as he watched me sit back down with another plate. I knew this time together was about more than sex for him, as much of a horndog as he was. We missed each other, bad.
The strong Spanish coffee was perking me up some. "Oh yeah." I looked around. The hotel seemed really fucking nice. So nice that I felt guilty. "You know, Sean, I feel bad that you're spending so much... I mean the plane ticket alone..."
He gave a knowing smile, like he found my reaction adorable as he picked up his own coffee cup. "Oh believe me Hot Stuff, the luxury shit's for my benefit, not yours." He took a sip and added, "and no more money talk for the week. This might be my only R&R time this tour, and it's worth enjoying it. Just glad you could help me enjoy it."
"Oh god, Sean, yeah, of course," I said.
We looked at each other from across the small table, silently communicating our desire to connect physically. After I finished Sean set down his napkin. "Ready to settle into the room?"
I nodded, and pushed my chair back. I wasn't sure if he was just speaking generally or if Sean really was postponing sex. It wouldn't be like him, but we did have all week. I took charge of my bag this time and followed him to the elevator.
As the elevator doors chimed closed, it was just me and Sean. We stood and smirked at each other. Sean gripped the railing at his side. From under his cap, he was just so handsome, and the months of absence just made me even more infatuated with him.
He pushed off the wall and took the step towards me. "God, you're so fucking hot," he hissed and reached up to run his fingers along my neck and through my medium-short blond hairs. He took a hold of the bill of my ballcap and lifted it off my head. My hair was longer on top, a bit messy and tousled as Sean brushed a few stands back with his thumb. He was pulling me in, now, into a kiss. I accepted it, eagerly, my lips parting to feel his thick tongue press in. I enjoyed his stubble around the edge of my mouth as our lips locked. I nudged his tongue back with my own but mostly let him drive the kiss. He tasted like coffee, and I could feel the warmth of his body beneath his windbreaker as I reached forward to touch his waist.
I wanted to explore his strong build more and go deeper into the kiss, but the elevator ding broke the spell. We instinctively pulled apart, with smiles on our faces, like we were kids caught in some naughty game.
I'd stopped paying attention to how nice the hotel was, I was just focused on Sean now - his tall, NCO build strutting ahead of me, that powerful ass filling out his jeans. He was 44 years old now, and if anything, he was a finer specimen than when I met him.
The room itself was nice but kind of more basic and modern, with a king-sized bed in the middle. "You feeling like a shower?" Sean asked as he took off his ballcap. When he peeled his rain jacket off his shoulders and pulled his sweatshirt over his head, his dark T-shirt underneath looked like it was on the cusp of being just a bit tighter than snug along sculpted pecs and shoulders. He still had a poker face, and I couldn't tell if he wanted sex or wanted to wait. A shower sounded amazing after the overnight flight, and yet...
"If you join me," I said, before pulling my hoodie off and over my head.
He smiled and stepped up to me, placing his hands on my waist. "I can definitely do that, kiddo," he hissed and then leaned in for another kiss.
This one started soft and romantic, and grew in intensity as we got into it. My hands clung to his lats through his shirt while he ran his fingers along my sides.
Finally, he pulled apart with a leer on his face. "Let's get my boy nice and cleaned up."
We both began peeling off the rest of our clothes, like we were rushing to jump into a lake skinny dipping or something. It was magnificent to see his thick muscle bared for me after so long, the familiar dark chest hair offset with a nice chestnut tan, the silvery dogtags lying in the groove of his pecs. There was a noticeable tan line as he peeled his underwear off. He wasn't fully hard yet, not like me, but his 7-inch cock was bounding up toward its steely erection pretty quickly.
Sean gave my ass a playful smack as I walked ahead of him into the large bathroom. I reached into the shower to turn on the water but couldn't figure out the knobs. Sean laughed, stepping beside me. "I'll get it," he said.
He let me check the temperature as he pulled out a bottle of lubricant from his toiletries bag. "Got a fresh bottle, Jimmy," he said, chest puffed out, like he was proud of his purchase. As I stepped into the warm shower spray, Sean uncapped the container and set it on the shower ledge. "Figured you and I can kill off most of it, right?"
"Oh fuck, Chief," I hissed. I was aching so much for this man. I had approached this trip as a chance to give Sean some needed sexual relief after some rough months of deployment, but if I was honest, I craved a sex marathon, too.
His naked body felt incredible against mine as he stepped in to join me. He was warm, and his muscle very hard. We held on to each other tightly and let the water run over us as we made out deeply, almost roughly. As clean shaven as he was, I still felt that stubble rub my cheeks and chin, and I knew in my own unshaved state, he was feeling mine, too.
His hands were pawing at me now, reaching down to grab my ass cheeks. I had a pretty good idea what was on his mind.
"Fuck..." he hissed back when we finally broke the kiss, slobber on our chins from how deep we'd gotten into it. Sean laughed and reached up to wipe the saliva from my bottom lip. "Sorry, Hot Stuff... I guess I'm not much for finesse right now."
"Seriously, Chief," I said, my heart racing. "I don't need finesse."
That thrilled him, and I saw his trademark smirk return. Fuck, this was me and Sean back into our verbal, phone sex intensity. Right back where we left off. "You ready for me to tear into ya, kiddo?" he growled.
I should have been nervous to say yes, like it was giving this Army top a blank check. But I'd worked my dildo every day for a solid week in anticipation of a Sean Carter fuck. I craved this. "More than ready, sir," I said, aloud, hearing my voice echo off the bathroom tile. As he pulled me in closer, his hard cock rubbed against mine.
Sean let me go and reached over to turn off the water, while his other hand grabbed the lube. He flicked the cap and squirted a good deal over his prick before slathering his index and middle finger. I kind of turned to the side to give him access to my buns, and he looked at me with a wild, horny gaze in his brown eyes. I raised my leg onto the ball of my foot, letting my ass jut out enough for his tacky-slick fingers to have an easy access to my trench. Sean took advantage of it, running the lubed digits up along my shower-damp crack until he found my ring. He circled the hole, then tapped a couple of times, a signal of what was to come.
The man wasn't kidding, there was no finesse, just the rough entry of his lubed digits, two in one go. My hole was snug for sure, and I felt a bit of a sting while my ring was being forced to stretch. In my headspace, it felt magnificent.
"Yeah, Jimmy?" he growled. He could read my facial expression, and it made my body flush hot. Sean’s long fingers pressed deeper.
"Fuck, yeah, sir," I replied back and I felt his hand impatiently frig me. Two fingers moving in and out, curling just a bit, almost as if they were a cock working me open. The movement was quick, but he pulled them back out slowly to add more lube.
Then three fingers pressed inside me.
Sean's brooding eyes bore into mine, the smile gone from his face in what was pure lust as his three fingers fucked me more steadily, the sound now wet and slick. "Just like that first night, huh? You were in heat for some daddy dick."
My mind flashed back to that night in Philly, how much Sean was the kind of take-charge top that made me want to put out. How it just clicked with us.
I hissed. This felt intense in the most amazing way. "I was," I answered. "I am.” I pushed back against his hand and fingers some. “I think the sex is actually better now."
Those might have been the words that broke Sean's self restraint. With a grunt, and in one swift move, he slipped his lubed fingers from my worked-up hole and stepped behind me. Sean lined up his cock, nudging the head into its toe hold in the relaxed indentation of my hole, then moved his lube-slick hands to grip my waist. Sean’s breath blew against my neck, then I felt his scruffy chin scrape my exposed trap and his hefty cock at my hole. And as quickly as he'd fingered me open, he was now pushing that prick into me.
"Easy, Chief!" I gasped through clenched teeth. It didn't hurt, but if he shoved in, it would.
He checked his advance, letting go of my waist and wrapping his arms around me, one around my neck, the other around my stomach. I felt taken completely, especially feeling the gradual inching in of his Soldier cock into me.
"Let me in, Jim," Sean pleaded. "I need to get off inside you," he said against my neck as I felt his arms around me tighten. He sounded as if he needed this from me.
I took some deep breaths and forced myself to relax. It helped, some. I nodded and relaxed my rectal muscles and felt Sean flex his hips to press more dick into me. He was all the way in me, pressing my inner spot, and my chute clamped around his thick shaft as he pulled back. I gave into the sensation of being completely mounted by my horny boyfriend. I knew this is what was going to happen in Spain, and I knew I wanted it to. But I had to reconcile the reality of the rough sex with my mental desire for it.
Because Sean was now fucking me slow but hard. The copious lube eased the way, but it also disarmed the defenses of my inner tightness. The man powered into me, pulling back half way only to jab his prick back into my depths with a wet slap of skin on skin. I let out a couple of stifled staccato moans, timed with each hard thrust, until I choked those back and focused on bracing myself against the shower wall.
“Fuck yes, Jimmy,” Sean hissed, his hold on me still firm. This wasn’t romantic, this was pent-up Soldier sex. I knew this was going to be about his need, but I was starting to enjoy it. Once my ass got used to the hard shafting, my prostate started to buzz, and a swivel of my hips angled my hole to allow Sean’s prick to hit just the right spot. My quads shook, knees shaking, the waves of pleasure shooting up my spine like an electric current. That hard shaft punched in and hit my spot inside. With one hand I braced myself on the shower tile while my other hand caressed the strong, knotted forearm that was wrapped around my neck. That grip wasn't cutting off my air entirely, but it felt like a wrestler's hold, making me lightheaded.
My own prick was rock hard and bouncing with each shove from behind. But it would have to wait for attention. Sean's thrusts were growing fast now, his deep sexual grunts telling me it wasn't going to be long before he came.
"Sean, fuck me!" I grunted. I found my voice lower pitched than I expected, maybe responding to his deep, guttural moans. I turned my head half back towards his. "Cum in me."
For the next ten seconds my body felt fully and completely used. Sean fucked hard and fast to the finish line, his powerful arms holding me steady like a sex doll. His hips slapped my cheeks and his forehead pressed to the back of my head. I wish I could have seen his face as he came, but this was amazing too, animalistic mating at its best. His thrusts grew erratic, until he slammed back into me and firmly held my waist with one hand like he was still trying desperately to go deeper. I heard Sean's telltale gasp as he ejaculated deep inside me, his cock pistoning in slow jerks as he rode out the overdue pleasure of orgasm. He slowed and then stopped, and finally his hips lurched one more time in a surprise thrust.
"God fucking damn, Jim," he hissed. He hunched against me, his lips in my wet hair as he caught his breath some. Then the tightness of his wrestling hold became a softer embrace. He tapped my chest with his hand in successive pats. "You are a fucking pro, young man," he said.
He kind of held himself against me, cock still buried in me, and I leaned back into his powerhouse bod. I love the feel of his wet body fur on my skin, and that skin contact made me feel even more sexual somehow.
Sean ran his hand down to feel up my boner. He worked its fat length, not in in a jerking kind of way, more in an exploration with his fingers. "Let's get you off," he said, his sex voice returning to his normal voice.
His cock was still buried up inside me as he grabbed the still open lube bottle and squirted some in his free hand, then smeared my shaft with the slick gel.
I leaned back into Sean’s damp, warm body as he wrapped his arms around me once more. When I took myself in my hand, the deferred stimulation from Sean’s fuck came back to me. The slightly battered feeling of my inner gland now made me primed for pleasure, and psychologically there was the thrill that I’d just been taken by Sean and had his seed still inside me.
As I jerked myself off, I could feel my hole clench around Sean’s tool, massaging its post-orgasmic, semi-firmness. I needed to cum now. Sean had worked me up just then, but I needed the physical pleasure, too.
"Yeah," the man growled as he looked over my shoulder, his wet face pressed against my damp hair. He covered me close and the body contact was amazing. Then, as I jerked and got closer, he moved his hips. He maybe wasn't as hard as before his orgasm, but he was hard enough. Gently, he worked my spermed insides, adding to the stimulation.
"Oh jeeez..." I cried. My nuts began to churn, and my legs grew weak.
"Yeah?" Sean asked, excited that I was about to cum for him. "You gonna blast off Jim?" His arm around my chest held me close. His stubble scraped my ear. "You gonna let it all go for Daddy?"
That word drove me frickin’ wild. My dick shot cum out in a heavy jet against the shower wall. Then another. "UUNNNGH!" I growled. Still Sean's dick rode my raw insides, adding to the intensity of it all.
"That's it, Jim," Sean encouraged. "Fuck."
I stood still in his arms as I rode the aftershocks of a major orgasm, just enjoying the physical closeness with Sean until I regained my bearings. I felt him soften and slip out. As hot as the sex had just been, it was still one of Sean rougher fucks. My hole ached now, and I felt his seed run out in a trickle down my inner thigh. I felt our heartbeats sync as he embraced me.
Finally I turned around in his embrace and we kissed. Softly this time.
"I love you, Sean," I finally said, quietly.
He gave me a little, "Love you, too," before pressing his lips to mine once more, his tongue gently slipping into my mouth.
We stood in the shower a little longer, kissing a little while more. Then Sean turned on the water again to rinse us off.
*****
The rain had died to a drizzle, so Sean and I got dressed again and decided to head out. We ended up walking a lot and it was good to get some fresh air, even if the weather was cold and raw. Honestly, I was just taking it all in. It was sinking in that I was in a different country. I thought of my college friend, and brief casual fling, Sarah, who I actually still kept in touch with, and who was now getting her PhD in Spanish Lit. I looked forward to emailing her about this trip.
I don't know what I thought Madrid would be like, but this exceeded what I had pictured. Sean had a better sense of direction than me, but I recognized the Plaza Mayor from the guidebooks. We took in the sight of the plaza, mostly with me kind of gawking around.
After grabbing a light lunch, we made our way over to the Royal Palace as something indoors-y to do with the lousy weather. But it felt laid back being with Sean. We strolled around, taking in room after room, but mostly we chatted, Sean asking me about everything back home, how work had been going and if I was looking forward to Spring Training. It just felt easy being with him, easier than it had felt in a while. I think being jet-lagged helped me not put too much pressure on our first time together in months.
I had been dragging some in the early afternoon, but I got a second wind. The sugar from a hot chocolate and churro helped, too. My appetite was kicking in as the jet lag caught up with me. Sean asked me if I was tired of walking around, and in a way I was, but I also was enjoying it. Everything felt new and exciting and a good change of pace from my life back home.
The sun set early, though, and we decided to duck into a bar with a neighborhood feel - wood bar and paneling, a beer on tap along with the usual wines. We found two vacant stools at a high top near the bar as Sean ordered us some beers, which arrived in smaller, tall narrow glasses. Sean lifted his up to a toast.
"Welcome to Madrid, Hot Stuff," he grinned, tapping my glass with his.
I smiled. "Thanks for bringing me, Chief," I said. "Seriously, this is amazing."
"I thought it would be fun to meet here," he said, a pleased grin on his ruggedly handsome face. His five o'clock shadow was really coming in, giving his tanned face a swarthy shade. "A little easier for me, too... shorter flight and just two hours time difference."
"So you usually don't come back to the States during your leave?" I asked. I'd met him during his R&R time in Philly, so I wasn't sure how common it was for him to come home.
"Depends," he said. He got a sly grin. "I'll admit that I figured you'd enjoy this, Jim."
"God, yeah, Chief," I said. "I guess I haven't seen much of the world. Even as a kid, vacations for us meant the Outer Banks. I think with four of us boys, my parents weren't up for anything crazy."
Sean laughed. "I think one reason I signed up for the military was to get the hell out of my hometown. And in a way, it's let me see more of the world." He winked at me as he took a sip of beer. "If the weather had been better, I would have taken you to the Greek Islands. It's my happy spot."
"I'd like that," I said. "But this is pretty amazing, too."
"You're easy to please," he chuckled.
I laughed. I'd missed Sean so much, his whole person but also his teasing conversation. "I got news for you, Chief," I replied, my knee playfully tapping his leg. "You can be pretty easy to please, too."
Sean got my drift and his eyes lit up. "So you're OK with my plan for the week?"
I felt a thrill and was getting a little turned on. "You're paying for the hotel... might as well get full use out of it. Right?"
Sean shifted his posture on the bar stool and I could tell he was chubbing up a little. I laughed and he gave me a knowing grin. He gestured for me to lean in closer. I did, and he whispered in my ear. "Bad news is you're not fucking me on this trip, kiddo.... I'm not taking that big schlong of yours without poppers."
I leaned back and laughed. "Fair," I said. I mean, I would have loved to have tapped Sean's ass again, but the fact he was open to it in the future made it OK.
"I'll make it up to you, though, OK?" he asked, his hand gently resting on my knee.
"Deal," I said, puffing out my chest a little.
Sean smirked. "Thanks for coming, Jim," he said.
"God, of course," I said. "I've missed you. You know that."
He nodded, and something in his tone and expression seemed more emotional than normal for Sean, like he was contemplative rather than purely in horndog mode. "Missed you too.... You holding up OK back home?"
"Yeah, Sean, I'm doing OK," I said. I didn't want to tell him about the emotional roller coaster I'd sometimes felt with him away, like the night of the Army-Navy game, me breaking down in front of Dad. And I didn't want to go into detail about sleeping with other men. I just wanted to reassure him.
He seemed to like that answer. He held up his empty glass. "Another?" he asked. Then seeing my nod of assent, he added, "I'll probably order some food too... dinner's late here, and I don't think you'll make it till then."
"Probably not," I admitted. I was starting to get hungry again.
We kind of camped out at that bar, ordering bar food and beers and just getting pleasantly buzzed. And Sean got in his chatty mode. He didn't dwell on his war experience over the last few months but started relating stories of some of his down moments and talked about some of the other NCOs he worked with.
He was in the middle of one story when he stopped and examined my face. "Tired?" he asked. His Southern drawl had come out thicker with the alcohol.
"’Fraid so," I said, realizing how I was fighting back the drooping of my eyelids. "Sorry."
He patted my knee. "We have almost a week, Jim," he said.
Sean settled up the bill and we walked back out into the cool damp night. The mist actually felt pretty nice as we walked the few blocks to the hotel.
"You got a lot planned?" I asked as we walked, pulling my ball cap down further before sticking my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. The drizzle was starting again.
Sean had his shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets as well. I take it he didn't enjoy the damp, cool weather. "Nothing planned, kiddo. This was a last minute plan."
That caught me by surprise. Sean was the ultimate planner. But he'd had other things to worry about, for sure. "I picked up a guidebook, but I figured you'd have it all mapped out."
He grinned in amusement as he looked over at me. "I'm not really a sightseeing guy," he warned. "But if you wanna play tour guide tomorrow, by all means..."
I felt self-conscious. "You're probably seen it all already," I said.
He laughed. "It's my first time in Madrid, Hot Stuff," he replied. "Though I walked around some yesterday."
"For real?" I asked. "I'd assumed you'd been." Maybe it was his fluent Spanish combined with his sense of familiarity about where we were and where we were going.
"I've been to Barcelona a couple of times, and Valencia. Never here, though," he replied.
I did like that we were experiencing this together.
It was late when Sean and I got back to the hotel and made our way up to the room. I felt bad that maybe I was leaving him high and dry for sex, but even seeing him strip down naked to get ready for bed wasn’t having the usual effect on me. Between jet lag and our earlier session, my body was simply not responding as it normally did. Still, after brushing my teeth and walking back into the room, I appreciated the sight of Sean, naked in bed waiting for me. Because I wasn’t raring to go for sex, I could appreciate his masculine beauty as the lamp light illuminated the furry, muscular form of my boyfriend - dogtags gleaming between his pecs and his cock erect.
“Don’t worry,” he said as he noticed my gaze directed to his crotch. “I can wait for sex.”
He lay back against the headboard, one arm folded behind his head. He watched me with a smirk on his face as I stripped down too, holding his gaze until I was just as naked as he lifted the covers for both of us and I crawled into bed with him. His warm body felt incredible against mine as he pulled me in closer, our heads on the same pillow.
Sean's cock stayed hard against my abs, but he wasn't pushing anything. Instead we kissed softly and felt each other up.
"I missed you, Jim," he said softly, giving me another soft kiss, his scruff coming in rougher.
"God, Sean," I said, my arm around his neck as my fingers stroked the soft bristles of hair at his nape. I didn't want to voice my insecurities, but Sean could pick up on them.
"You didn't think I did?" he asked. Not offended or surprised or anything. Just open with me.
"This is a heavy conversation, but I never know with you, Sean," I said.
He patted my back, just above my ass. For all the misgivings I sometimes had about our relationship, his embrace made me feel right.
"Right now, I'm not good about thinking of the future," he said. "I want to enjoy the now, you know?"
I could see where he was coming from. Too much of my life lately had been about delaying everything for the future I envisioned. The major leagues. A serious relationship. Being able to come out. But when I thought in any detail, I couldn't imagine how these would play out in a real way. It was like I was living with multiple unrealistic fantasies. Maybe I could learn something from Sean's approach.
I was too tired to think this all through. So I held on to Sean's warm, muscular body. I could even feel the dogtags amid the scratchy chest fur.
"I love being naked with you, Sean," I said, taking in the woody scent of his favorite cologne. It was a scent I’d missed more than I realized.
My words got a soft groan from deep in his chest. He patted my back again and ran his hand down over my ass, his fingers caressing instead of groping.
"We're gonna have a lot of fun this week, kiddo," he said softly.
That's the last I remember before falling asleep.
*****
I woke up to find Sean sitting up in bed, reading. He had some airport novel open in lap, but once he noticed me stirring under the crisp sheets, he dogeared his page and set the book down on the nightstand before turning toward me.
"Morning," he said, sounding like he’d already been up for a while. He was bare-chested and his muscle seemed tanner in the dim light streaming through the crack of the curtains, which made his pecs seem more sculpted and his nipples stick out some from beneath his brown fur. I could see the right arm tattoo move with his bicep and the shimmer of his dogtags.
"Hey," I said, scooting toward him. I woke up horny, and the vision of Sean's half-naked body was fueling my morning wood, unlike the previous night.
He must have read my mind, or maybe it was simply what was on his, because the second my hand spread across his hard stomach, he reached down to peel back the bedsheet. His meaty 7-inch dick was bounding up, like it had been patiently waiting for me to wake up, too. Sean's arm reached around and his hand rested on my shoulder to pull me close.
Our lips were dry when they met, but as we kissed, our tongues softly touched. If my wood wasn't fully hardened before, it was now steel hard against his upper thigh. Sean's body was hard under my touch, and I could smell his cologne as he rolled over onto his side. My cock now rubbed his, and our legs intertwined.
The soft makeout time quickly escalated and pretty soon Sean and I were dry humping each other, the delayed horniness now taking priority in our bodily responses. I felt his hand travel down my arm, caressing the hairs on my forearm, before his fingers interlaced with mine.
Then, roughly, quickly, he jerked my left arm up above my head, pressing my hand into the pillow before I even registered what was going on. Rolling me onto my back, he pinned my hand down and started kissing and sucking at my neck. Goosebumps broke out over my skin as I held his head with my right hand, the shaved bristles against my palm only adding to the sensation. It was an intense oral attack, and I worried he was going to give me a hickey.
"Sean!" I gasped as he nipped at my skin. "Fuck!"
But he was undaunted, kissing and licking lower now, along my pectoral muscle and then over to attack my exposed underarm with his mouth. It was a novel sensation and my body reacted with a defensive jerk as Sean licked at the soft blond hairs there, wetting them down with long swipes.
I relaxed now, enjoying the slight ticklish sensation and the feel of his muscled-up Army body on top of mine, his hard cock leaking and rubbing the inside of my upper thigh and batting some against my balls while my own prick pressed against his brawn.
Next were my nipples, left then right. As much as I enjoyed the physical contact with Sean’s strong, taller body, I was getting a little frustrated at the licking and sucking sensation, which wasn’t immediately pleasurable.
I decided not to be passive any more. I struggled against him, my hand pressing at his shoulder, which made him growl and reach for my other arm to pin it back, too. I was prepared though, slipping my wrist from his grip so he couldn't get the advantage on me. My free hand pushed against his shoulder once more. I was strong and spent plenty of time in the gym, but Sean was still stronger. I knew it. He knew it. He fought back some, but then pulled off me.
"Day-um, Jimmy..." he said as he smiled up at me from my chest. "Seems like you really don't want me to suck your cock."
I laughed, partially surprised. I don't think I'd had this kind of physical sex where the attraction came out through play-fighting. I was surprisingly worked up. "I thought you were trying to fuck me, Chief."
He fixed his brown eyes on me with a challenging kind of stare. "And you wouldn't want that?" he teased.
"I dunno," I said. "I mean..."
He rose up off me a bit, his one arm holding his body up like a push-up over me. I could see his prick upright from his hairy crotch and hard as nails. His other hand let go of my wrist and reached down to trace my bare torso in a soft, teasing caress. His voice was now low and steady. "Tell me if something isn't working for you Jim. But don't be ashamed of wanting something in bed. At least not with me."
I moved my hand to feel up his solid flank. I could see from his face that he enjoyed my touch.
"You can tell, can't you?" I asked.
He nodded. "I have an idea," he said with an even tone.
"Just now... I liked that, Sean." I blushed as I said it, but my dick was hard, too.
Sean grinned and then got a more concerted look, his brow furling and his lips pursing. His hands gripped both of my shoulders and pinned me down as he claimed a deep kiss, his tongue asserting dominance in my mouth.
I was surprised by how much I wanted this. My legs wrapped around his waist and my prick leaked as I met his kiss and then pressed my tongue back into his mouth, or at least as much as I could while his own battled mine. I heard, felt really, a groan from his chest.
This was working me up. I reached up to press my hands against his chest, trying to push him off me. That just made him respond physically, breaking the kiss and working his powerful arms to knock my grip away. He was successful with one, but I got my hand back up on his shoulder while he worked on the other one.
That got a renewed burst of energy from him, and his superior muscle overpowered mine as he finally took hold of both my wrists and pinned them down on the bed, next to my head. I felt my biceps bulge as Sean watched me squirm against him.
My legs were coiled around his waist, our cocks smashed together, but I tried straightening them and push him off me in the process. I didn’t want to give in, or at least to give him a little more fight.
His masculine face hovered inches above mine. "This shit turns you on," he growled, his dogtags clicking as they dangled across my chest. He tightened his grasp and pressed my wrists more firmly into the mattress, reminding me I was fully pinned down.
By now, my twisting had become humping against his rigid cock. "Fuck, yes, Sean," I admitted.
He grinned. "Your dad's in charge, hear?"
"Yes," I replied. His body now felt hot, and I realized I was flush with sexual heat.
He shook his head. Gently admonishing even as he had a cocky smile on his face. "You can say it, Son," he urged.
Oh fuck, he was going full on incest talk. We'd dabbled in this some, and Sean knew it was a kink of mine. But we were going all in now. "Yes, sir, Dad," I replied.
He gritted his teeth and raised his weight on my hands, sliding his body up some and dragging those dogtags over my skin in a slow move that was pure torture.
The following kiss was surprisingly soft, a reward for submitting to him like this. Our tongues tapped gently between our open lips. His voice was a deep, almost whisper when he pulled back. "This is your turn on, right, kiddo?" he asked. There was an edge to his voice, acknowledging this was for me, but maybe also a way for him to enjoy what it did for me.
I nodded, hungry for him in every way now. Sean had no way of knowing my last time having sex was with my own father, but his roleplay now was the best assurance possible I could have that Sean Carter could be my father substitute while being his own man. "Guess I'm embarrassed to admit it sometimes, Dad," I said. "But it's a crazy turn on, sir."
He nodded. "Turns me on, too." He looked down on me and indeed he was breathing faster, more deeply. His dick was steel hard against mine. "You gonna be a good boy if I let go for a second?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," I said. Really getting into the roleplay now. The newness of this was thrilling, but there was something easy about it, too. This was a natural extension of Sean's and my well-honed verbal rapport.
I watched his furry muscle flex and bunch as he leaned over and pumped out some lube into his palm. Then some more.
I couldn't help it. I made a move to push him off me again, which got a horny smile from the man. He placed his left forearm across my chest, using his body weight to pin me back down while he reached down and roughly dug below my nuts to root around between my legs with his right hand.
"I said.. hold fucking still..." he said through gritted teeth as he grinned, and quickly his fingers found their target. I felt the lubed digit penetrate my hole. The familiar stretching and filling sensation silently sapped the fight from me. My hands shifted to grip him and my fingers dug into his flexed muscle.
"Fuck yes," I hissed as I felt my ring dilate around his thick knuckle. Which made Sean smile big as he pulled his finger out, only to then run two fingers in, and then out. Not roughly, but not holding back a full finger-fuck either. I felt vulnerable to the penetration, but that vulnerability now turned me on.
"I got ya, kiddo.... Dad's got what you need."
I looked up into his brown eyes. Sean had a way of tapping into something deep in me, and he was seeing it all come out, my eyes opening excitedly and my legs wrapped even tighter around him. "Yes, sir," I said, as I now ran my free hand up along his flank. Sean Carter was all solid, and the sensation of him on top of me had me so turned on. "Fuck me, Dad."
Sean bit his lip, holding my gaze as he methodically worked a third finger inside me, before pulling out. He glanced at my mouth before he leaned in for another kiss, quick but passionate, then scooted up.
"Damn, son," he hissed as he ran his dry hand over my abs and chest while the lubed one wrapped around my shaft. I now writhed against his touch, reaching up to run both hands along his chest and shoulders. "Ready, kiddo?" he asked, looking down at me.
"Yeah, Dad," I replied.
Sean used the advantage of surprise again. Roughly, he gripped my wrists once more, and before I knew it, I was being pressed back down into the soft hotel bed mattress, while his powerful thighs were kicking my legs further apart. His face got that determined look again. "Lift up your ass," he instructed. And before I could register, he growled. "Lift your fucking ass up for me."
I contracted my abs and spread my legs for him. Sean met me the rest of the way, his rigid bone honing in on my pucker, poking around until he found it.
"Oh, fuck, Sean!" I gasped, testing his hold on my wrists while slipping out of role play. He wasn't outright penetrating me but he was starting to, and it was still too fast.
His body reacted immediately, stopping the direct assault and instead doing smaller little flutter thrusts against my entrance. "Come on, son," he hissed, his tone less harsh. "Let me in kiddo... you did it yesterday, you can do it again."
I nodded as once again the head of his prick pressed at my ring. "I wanna, Dad."
He nodded at me. And I felt just enough relaxation to let his cock push into me, really in. About three inches inside, he slowed to let me get used to him.
I looked up at his brown eyes and his square jaw as I wrapped my legs around him once more. I was now in the position to get well and truly fucked. Something about that made my body accept him fully. So when he leaned forward, still holding my wrists, his dick fucked all the way into me, balls deep.
"Attaboy," he growled. Then he pulled back for his next stroke. Then another. He was fucking me hard now, really hard, and I was there for it. My lungs emitted choked grunts of excitement, my dick throbbed between our abs, and my insides relished that battering ram riding right over my prostate with each hard shove.
The fact that Sean's grip was keeping me from stroking off made the building sensations more intense. But it also focused my sexual response to his cock rather than mine, to the feeling of being taken. As much as my prick quivered and leaked, I wasn't near cumming.
But Sean was. Within a minute of penetrating me he went full on at me, hard charging as he rode to maximize his pleasure.
"Oh fuck, Jim," he hissed, nodding down at me to let me know he was getting close. His brow rose and his whole expression got that O-face look to it. I could hear the clanking of his dogtags and the slap of his hips against my upraised ass cheeks. This position was starting to get uncomfortable but hadn't truly yet.
Then I witnessed his whole body undulate in a different way, his chest and torso moving as much as his hips as he came inside me. His full body jerked spasmodically, then he relaxed just as quickly, lowering his forehead to touch mine while his grip on my wrists released.
Quickly, I moved my left hand to my cock. Sean was half-dazed still, and I had a good feeling his prick was still spurting inside me, but he obliged by resuming a slower, steadier thrust to maximize my internal sensations to go along with the pleasures in my dick. I wrapped one hand around his head and kissed him between his heavy breaths as he continued to grunt.
It was my turn to clench my torso in rhythm to my rising orgasm. Those brown eyes bore into me, silently encouraging me and waiting. The tension built up in my nuts, almost achingly so as I tightened my thighs around him. I growled out a whimper into his mouth. One more micro-thrust from Sean, and one more tug from my fist was all it took for my chute to choke down on Sean’s spermy, still mostly hard cock. I was filled with his seed and his dick, and that idea supercharged my balls.
Sean grunted at the sudden vice-grip of my hole as my vision went blank, the pleasure throbbing in my hole while the cum riped through my shaft. My grip on Sean’s head was hard and my whole body just gave it up, blasting both our abs and my chest with streaks of white jism.
It was the biggest orgasm I'd had in a long time, both in terms of the ejaculation amount and the intensity of sexual pleasure and release. Surprisingly, it surpassed the one I’d had with Dad in our Baltimore hotel room. I now emitted some gasps, shocked at what I was feeling. This had been very physical sex and I was now enjoying the payoff.
The Soldier's dick was softening and slipped out. I finally relaxed back into the sweat-damped bed, still breathing hard after the hard-charging, very physical mating. Gingerly, Sean slid back enough to let my legs extend.
"Dayum, Jim," Sean said as he dropped down on the bed next to me. He was getting back in his normal, playful mode now that we'd come. "THAT was hot as shit... seriously, I really was just gonna suck you off, but wow..."
I looked over at him and patted his thigh. I was glad he'd enjoyed it, but now that I'd gotten my rocks off, I was having some misgivings. I reached over to grab some Kleenex to wipe off my chest and abs, which were drenched in my cum. It took several tissues to get the bulk off it, and I wadded them up and placed them on the nightstand.
"What?" he asked, trying to read my expression.
I turned on my side, facing him. "I guess I feel insecure about letting loose like that," I said. "What you might think of me."
"What do you mean?" he replied, not missing a beat. He scooted closer, one arm sliding beneath the pillow under my head as his other hand reached up and brushed my sweat-damped bangs from my forehead. "I fucking loved it. It's like the night we first met, I kind of miss that sometimes."
That made me feel more reassured. But it was moments like these when I realized I had some issues about my masculinity and how Sean might perceive me as less than a man for getting off on him dominating me.
Sean turned toward me onto his side and reached out to hold my waist. "Listen... don't overthink it, Jim. I loved it, you loved it. It doesn't always have to be like that when we fuck. But that was pretty much the hottest sex I've ever had."
That surprised me. I would have guessed at 44, Sean Carter would have had experiences that would surpass what we'd done. "For real?"
"Scout's honor, Jimmy," he smirked.
I sighed, feeling my body relax some in his embrace. We kissed some, though I think we were pretty drained sexually, so even the soft romantic kissing seemed too much. Sean gave my ass a gentle slap as he pulled back. "What do you think of breakfast? I'm fucking starving."
*****
The five days went by fast. At least faster than I wanted. We did do some sightseeing, but we also spent a lot of time relaxing and hanging out. And we had a lot of sex in that hotel room. I even got a day oriented around my pleasure. By day four, Sean got a little moody, but I learned to accept that and not bug him about it. He had a lot on his mind, whether it was about returning to the combat zone or about seeing me go back home. He was staying in Madrid an extra day, but he rode out to the airport with me on the morning of my departure. And he kissed me at the airport terminal, pulling me in close. "No one here gives a fuck," he said after he felt my body's nervousness. I responded with another, less guarded kiss.
"I'll miss you, Chief," I said before letting him go, his own hands falling from my waist. "Take care of yourself."
He patted my arm. "Will do, Jimmy. You take care of yourself, too, OK?"
I nodded. “Love you,” I added.
He gave me an encouraging grin. “Love ya, kiddo.”
I took a deep breath and nodded, before turning and making my way to the departure gate area.
I actually slept more on the flight back than the flight over. Maybe the week was catching up with me. Everything went smoothly. Even when I landed, it didn't take me long to go through customs. I was back in the USA.
I had parked long term at Dulles, and my plan was to stay with Holt in Charlottesville to save me some of that long drive back home.
My cell phone was back in its normal service now and I gave Charlie a quick call to let him know I was on my way. I made it to his place right around when he was getting home from the store he managed. Already at 5:30, it was already getting dark.
Holt was still in his khakis and store zip-up fleece when I showed up at the ranch house on the outskirts of town.
"Hiya McGrath," he beamed as I walked up to the door of his and Scott's place, my luggage in tow. "Bet you wished you were back in Spain... it's freezing." He had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.
I laughed. "Yeah. But it's good to be home."
Charlie ushered me inside before drawing me into a brotherly hug. "Long time no see," he said in my ear. "Next time I'll come visit you." He pulled back and I could see his cheeks were ruddy from the cold. He'd slimmed down even more since last time I'd seen him, and he looked both younger and older. "Come in, Scott's in the living room. I'll call in a couple of pizzas if that's OK."
"Perfect," I said. Spanish food had been fun, but I missed some comfort food.
Scott was in the living room, watching some ESPN talk analyst show. It was NFL playoff season. He muted it though when he saw me. "Jim!" he said as he got off the couch. I didn't actively lust after Holt's boyfriend, but Scott Underwood was looking good. He still carried his meaty ex-jock build, but had lost some pounds off his slight beer belly.
"You guys are looking great," I said after he got up and clasped me in a quick hug.
He smiled. "Figured I should be in shape if I'm actually marketing our gym," he laughed. "Charlie's been the inspiration actually."
"Cool," I said. "Though it sounds like a couple of pizzas are on the plan for tonight," I said with a grin.
"Special occasion," Scott laughed.
At that point, Holt came in. "They'll be ready in twenty minutes. I'm gonna go pick them up."
"Sure you don't want me to go?" I offered.
"Just relax, McGrath," he said. "I'll be back soon."
I settled onto the couch and talked with Scott some.
"How's Sean?" he asked.
"He's doing good," I said.
Scott smiled. "Good to see him?"
I nodded, thinking back to the prior week. I’m sure a smile was breaking across my lips. "Fuck yes." It felt nice to talk openly about how much I'd missed Sean. Scott and I didn't go deep but he knew what to ask, and how much would be too much prying.
In turn, I asked him about life in Charlottesville and how the business was going.
Charlie returned with the food in short order and we sat around the dining table. I was hungrier than I expected. But I tried to be polite enough to carry on conversation, and the guys had a lot of questions about my trip, so I did my best to fill them in.
"I mean, we did some sightseeing, but mostly it was just a chance to spend time together."
"I bet," Holt smirked.
"Behave," Scott chimed in, and we all ended up laughing.
"Man, I need a sugar daddy to take me to Europe," Holt quipped.
Scott rolled his eyes. "Please. You'd be bitching the whole time." Scott could turn the "gay" talk off and on. At times like this, he was more relaxed.
Holt shrugged, a grin on his face. "Yeah... true."
I was enjoying the Scott-and-Charlie show, and it seemed like they had a fun dynamic, though maybe the teasing hid deeper disagreements. But I remembered the present I'd brought them. "Oh, I almost forgot... I brought you guys something."
I got up and went over to get the duty-free brandy out of my bag. I came back and set it on the table. "Thanks for hosting me guys," I said.
Charlie picked up the bottle. "Dang. Thanks, McGrath." He looked up at Scott. "You got time for a shot?"
Scott turned apologetically to me. "I have plans with friends tonight. I'll be heading off soon. But yeah, let's have some."
He went to get some shot glasses while Holt opened the bottle. We toasted and made some small talk, before Scott announced he had to get going.
"See you tomorrow morning?" he asked, getting up from the table.
"Sounds good," I said.
"Later, babe," Scott said to Holt, leaning down to give my buddy a quick kiss.
"Have fun," Charlie said. Scott had barely stepped out when Charlie pushed his chair back. "Come on.... the living room is more comfortable." He picked up the shot glasses and bottle.
I followed him to the couch, and we settled in as Holt poured another drink.
"Scott wanted me to have one-on-one time with you," he explained. "He thinks I don't spend enough time with my friends." He got a sheepish look on his face and added. "I've actually been hanging out with your ex a lot."
It took me a while for it to click. "Greg?" I asked, referring to the red-headed EMT I'd dated my junior year.
Charlie nodded. "That bug you?" he asked, trying to read my reaction.
"No," I said. "I'm not like that, Holt."
"I know," he said. "But still..."
We threw back our shots. A thought occurred to me. "You're hanging out as friends, right?"
That got a belly laugh from Holt. "Yeah, McGrath, as friends. Scott and I don't have an open relationship."
I laughed, too, embarrassed some for even raising the prospect. "How's Greg doing?" I asked.
"He's good, he's good," Holt said. "He asks about you sometimes. I think he still carries a flame for you, so I don't talk much about ya."
Of course, I still felt bad how things had ended, but I figured time had moved on. It felt so long ago now. "Well, say hello to him for me."
"Will do."
I thought of the advice Dad gave me, about trusting Holt. I realized this is the first time I'd had a chance to talk to my best friend alone in a while.
"So, Holt... I guess we kind of talked about this, but Sean and I have an open thing going on."
That caught him off guard, but he nodded. "I remember you weren't sure at one point," he said with a soft chuckle.
"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing," I said with a self-deprecating laugh.
"Everything OK, buddy?" Charlie asked, shifting his body some on the couch to face me.
I shrugged. "I don't know. Like in Madrid, everything was great. Greater than great. I mean..." I paused and maybe because it was Charlie's and my own history that made me open up. "I feel I can tell you, Holt... with me and Sean, there's just this amazing chemistry in bed. It's incredible."
Holt grinned, but interjected, "... but...."
"... but, well, now I'm back and it's going to be months of him being deployed and, well, I don't know... feels like we're in a holding pattern."
Holt pushed himself off the couch and stood up. "McGrath, if you're gonna get in one of your moods, we'll both need a beer."
I felt chastised some, then a little pissed off. My instincts were right, I thought, I shouldn't have brought this up.
Only when Charlie came back in, two bottles in hand, he set mine down on the coffee table before he sat down again.
"All right... you guys are in a holding pattern..." he said, then took a sip.
"I don't have to talk about this," I said.
"I'm just busting your balls... go on..."
I shook my head. Holt could be annoying, but I missed the way he'd push me out of my comfort zone.
"So, yeah..." I continued. "Sean's deployed until October and then when he gets back, I won't be in Norfolk." I took my own swig of beer. "I'm going to be out in Arizona at a baseball camp that my uncle arranged for me. I haven't told Sean yet."
"Why not, doofus?" Holt said.
I shrugged. "There's just this pressure... I just felt if he was on leave I didn't want to bring up anything bad. He's going through a lot." As I spoke, I could see the logic holes in what I was saying, but even so, I knew I'd probably do the same thing again.
"Ok, I get that," my friend said.
"You're gonna laugh at me, Holt," I started. "Or worse. But this last week, Sean and I had a conversation about living in the present versus living in the future. I feel like this whole time I've been pushing for the future of our relationship, and he keeps pulling me back to make it about the present."
"That doesn't surprise me," he said.
I gave a soft laugh. My friend knew I had pined for a boyfriend for a while, and he could guess a little of how that was playing out. "Yeah. But... I think I'm at a crossroads, where I gotta choose my future in baseball over Sean."
"Jesus," he hissed.
"I'm not breaking up with him," I clarified. "Though maybe that will happen. But damnit, Holt, I don't have a steady job or my own place or a sense of where I belong. It's all tied up in baseball, and I have to see it through."
Holt gave a slight grimace and took another sip of beer. "And you think Sean won't understand where you're coming from?"
"Oh he probably would. But that doesn't solve the fact I'm dating someone I'll see maybe a couple times a year."
"Wish I knew what to say," Holt sighed.
"It just helps to talk about this, you know?"
Charlie got an impish grin on his face. "Things sure were easier back when you were banging your professor."
I finally let out a laugh. "Dude, he wasn't my professor."
"Even fewer complications, then," he smirked.
We shifted the conversation some over the next hour. It was great to hang out like this, but with the alcohol, I was getting sleepy fast. Holt showed me to the guest room.
"You probably still get up annoyingly early," he said.
"Even worse. A military boyfriend will do that to you," I replied. "I may meet up with Avery tomorrow if he's free."
"Well if you need to leave early, feel free." Holt pulled me into a brotherly hug. "And McGrath, it's great to see you, man."
I don't think I'd seen this side of Charlie, at least not in a while.
"Yeah, Holt, thanks for being there for me."
"Always," he said.
He let go, that playful spark in his eyes that I remembered from our time as roommates. "Good night."
"Good night."
Holt went back down to the living room while I brushed my teeth and got into bed. I thought of Sean in Madrid, already asleep after his last day of R&R. I tried not to think of when and how I'd tell him about next off-season, but I thought about that, too.
I loved Sean and I knew the next months of his deployment would be torture. But I also had to look after myself, too.
Within a few years, I'd know if I was going to be a major league ballplayer. It felt like fate, and yet a lot was in my hands. I was going to make the most of my chance.
[END OF BOOK SIX]
