Growing up in a society with really mature men and kids older my age. i have never had friends my age and the ones i have are like my neighbor's and their friends. i am a 19 with a 6 packs that u will see it even if i did not stretched it. i would consider my self muscle stud and i work out 5 days a week in gym so i had a model looking body and face. i would say not every time but like frequently i get compliments from strangers and i love it when i do. i was what you call "bad boy". i was always with a new girl every week. i have never considered my self as a "queer" i have never experienced it and i would not ever or so i thought i live in urban place so the idea of being queer was not u hear about (u could get killed if you are)so on normal Monday as i was going to school i was hitting on girl that i found attractive and i asked for their phone and on my way to my home as i was texting her i bumped into a man and i looked up to see him smiling at me and telling it was okay and by that time i felt something in my stomach and i was nervous so i just nodded to him. he was like 6'2 with a dark features he had a dark hair and killer smile. his body was so perfect that i find myself want to feel it but realization hit me and i came to my senses. he was my neighbor and he was called "weird" in town because he did not have friends and stayed at home always. so i kinda left talking to the girl i was founding attractive before. and we talked and talked. but as i was stalking her social media and i found out she has a boyfriend so i just blocked her and went to sleep but as i was gonna sleep i thought about a guy that i bumped and i was thinking to myself that i wanna have face like him and body like him (even though i did not see him naked i know because i am a gym rat myself)i think the thought really got into my head and my dick was hard like i have not had sex for years and i was ashamed and so confused and i hated myself that moment. but i just brushed the thoughts and just went to sleep.
the next day i got up fine and i really forgot about it and i was just brushing my teeth and washing my face until i heard a knock at the door. it was the guy that i bumped with yesterday. and it all came to me and i was just admiring him. my mom just talked to him and took a food from his hand that he was holding(we live in urban so we have this tradition like holiday that day and it was our family turn to feed the neighborhood and we are preparing for it). i was now hating my self for how i adored and loved looking at him. i started to be harsh on myself. i was thinking how could my parents feel if they know i fancied him and i was just in my head thinking so much and just out of reality. i decided i have to get over this and just live with my life. so the holiday was at night we really tell the neighbors to come to our home(we do it in person so the kid have to always go) and i told all the neighbors and it was his door. i know he lived alone so i just knocked at his door and told him to come over with a pale and non-emotional face ( i said to myself i have to do that to get over it) so i just told him without feeling anything and i was surprised. i thought to my self that i was just messing with my head and i just wanted to have his body so i shrugged my thoughts and just went cold on him. but i couldn't help but notice he looked at me up and down like observed me as i speak. i just thought like he was acting like that because i was cold and just left and i got into my home and i prepared the house for the guests and when they all finished there is this tradition where the elders talk and the young and adults just goes to a room and just talk and eat. so being the only teen in that room i always felt alone even though we were like 10 or something {by amount} so we started to talk about school and everyone seems connected and they just have a friend. only me and that guy was the loners so he tried to start a conversation and i just talked to him too and we talked for a short time and i got to know much about him. after that things were a little bit awkward and finally everyone started to leave and he did too.
so the next weeks i woke up and go to school and i was not getting girls to hookup with so i was just horny. and every time i went to my home i see him and we would glance at each other and just not talk. but it was like glance of i talked to you and be my friend is what i got impression from him. so every night i masturbate wishing i got another pussy and i was so horny. so i cleaned up and went to sleep and the next day i go to school and on my way home he said hi to me and said "wanna hangout ?" i said yes because from that conversation where we had(holiday) i get the impression he is actually a nice person AND we scheduled on a Saturday and he will pick me up because he has a car and Saturday has come and i already forgot about it and was in my comforting clothes and watching tv when heard a knock on my door. and i answered the door and as i saw him i remembered and i said " i am soo sorry i forgot i was busy{i lied}" and he said comforting me "it's alright you wanna go now?" with a disappointed face and i felt guilty and said "of course please get in let me change" as i said that he glanced at me up and down with a smile and said " okay don't be late" i went fast to my closet and put on random fit and went to the room to tell him i was ready and when he saw me he bursted into laughter and i felt like he was gonna make fun of my fit and just sighed and looked at him with a straight face. but he quickly got serious face and he stuttering told me that " umm there is a hole in your pants and i looked down and i bursted into laughter and he joined after time i felt insecure and hide them with my hand. he said " it's okay it happens" and told me to change. so i did and we hangout at this cafe and we talked about his life, work and everything and also mine. he said "high school can be hard i guess you got used to it. i mean i see you with a new girl everyweek." he says staring deep inside my soul and i just replied to him with "yeah man that was months ago i am not getting girls now its so bad that i fap everyday bruh" and i realized i would not have to say that and said sorry quickly and was so embarrassed. he smiled at me and said "it's normal we do that every man do that no need to be ashamed" and i got a little comfort and just let it go. and everything was quite and awkward so i just asked him if he had a girlfriend to get the talk going and he said no i have never had a girlfriend and i was shocked and said "girls don't chase u or u don't want to date?" he think about a little and said "no bro they don't chase me. i seem to be not their type" and my mouth were on the floor. i said "you. you are the handsome man in this neighborhood and probably the fittest why?" he blushingly said with his heart melting smile "thanks bro but girls bro" as he jokingly said. then after moments we started talking about gym and stuff. he said he saw me in the gym couple of times and wanted to talk but he was scared because he had never friends so he just shut up and just look at me expecting me to say something. i said awkwardly "yeah sometimes i don't notice other people in the gym and just do my work" we talked our brains out and i fined him a great person to talk to cause he is just easy to talk to and by the similar interest we had i start to feel like we are meant to be friend and we talked about gym again but this time it was about touching and feeling each other biceps and him giving me tips but every time he touched me i felt my self shiver because his touch just did to my body and i tried to play it cool and touched his biceps and 6 packs and i felt my dick getting bigger and i realized we were in public and how i would get up with a hard dick how would he react and so does the people. i did not had pussy that weekend that i didnot feel like a burden because of it. so i awkwardly stopped and told him we should go my mom is gonna freak out {i lied to him to get out of the situation} so we did and he drove me home and he said goodbye and would love to hangout. i said me too and waved him goodbye and i got home and i realized what i had done and i started feeling bad again and i blamed my self but i shrugged it too today and i started to watch porn and to masturbate but when i watched i remembered how his body looked and i was extra hard and i beat my meat to that and i nutted and cleaned but as i finished a guilt came over me and i started to get worried and for the 10 days i ignored him and i got my mind out of it but one day ......
to be continued....
