I started looking at pornographic images in the fall. Why? Basically I’ve been extremely horny lately. It’s like something kicked in. I recently lost 100 pounds on Ozempic and now my testosterone levels were through the roof! We’re talking jacking off seven times a day horny. So I was really really horny and was looking to jack off to pictures of hot looking men I see on the internet.
Where had all these good looking men been my entire life? What was I doing my entire life if I wasn’t having sex with these really great looking men? I find it laughable when I read about men who spend the years from age 20 to 45 working on their careers, and then suddenly find they are still a virgin and expect people to just spread their legs for them. How dumb is that. The brother of a good friend of mind spent years working on his doctorate and then more years putting it to use. Then one day he wakes up and discovers he’s bald, fat, and his bed is empty. He's not exactly something desirable. His only option now is to roll up his sheepskin doctorate and stick his dick in that. My message is fuck when you are young as much as possible, people need to get their priorities and goals in order. Sex should always come first.
But I’ve seldom looked at porn, just didn’t seem like something I wanted to do with my life and time. Now I’m really really horny and I like looking at these great looking men, wow, where have these great looking men been my entire life? I read names totally unfamiliar: Calhoun Sawyer, David Skylar, Johnny Rapid, Jimmy Fanz, Aleks Buldocek, and Dennis West. None of these names (all made up no doubt) and faces are totally new to me.
One face stands out. Seriously. Have you ever seen a man who just takes your breath away? Has there ever been that one person in your life who does something inside you that no other man has? I see a picture of a man who is so perfectly handsome that it’s totally beyond belief. My god, I had no idea a man could look so handsome. And yes, I’m turned on by his body, all of it. But seriously, this guy turns me on so much that I’m even past the part about the sex with him. I know it’s going to be great, absolutely. But what I really want to experience is his sexual response, not mine. I have found such a man and his name is Dennis West.
The initial information I find on Dennis really was purely by accident. I wasn’t searching on his background or location, nothing like that, honest. Doing a search on Google really for somebody else, I see a search result or “hit” as its called it for some porn database website. Never heard of it. I click on the link. I can now search on anything related to porn, perhaps the focus is narrowed to “gay” porn (as a side note I will not use that word for the rest of this story as I absolutely loathe the word).
I type in Dennis West. Wow, I didn’t know all this about him. He “retired” from the business in 2017. What does this mean? How much more can I write here? Let’s just say there are several bits of information on the website, I can put several things together. One of the math classes I took in college in support of my major was “Discrete Math”. I won’t go into what it is other than I’ve had deep thoughts in mathematical logic, writing proofs, and theoretical set notation. Basically I can cut through the bullshit and see something really interesting on the page. His last known address is in my hometown.
The problem is that everything I find on the guy is inaccurate. Totally. He moves around a lot. Dates overlap so nothing makes sense or is of value. He has a past involvement with the law, won’t go into that, nobody is perfect. Every attempt I try to locate him fails. Is he in my town? Is he well? Is he alive? Why do I care? Danger Danger Will Robinson, maybe this is somebody I shouldn’t meet? "Computer: stop this simulation right now and immediately shut down the holodeck!"
Speaking of deep thoughts, had to do some deep thinking, soul searching, and think about things from his perspective. If I am able to find him, then what? Do I just throw myself at his feet professing my total and complete love for him, I will do anything he wants kind of thing? No, that doesn't seem like an effective strategy. What do I say to the guy? What can I offer him? Maybe he doesn’t even like men, which would be rather surprising all things considered, but anything is possible. David Skylar with his huge mushroom head cock says he’s straight, but he sure has no problem licking a guy’s asshole and then plowing it thoroughly.
I put the whole thing aside. I may in fact may be making myself sick thinking about him. The problem I’m having is I really can’t justify spending the money it’s going to take to find the guy and suspect it will be a total waste. But then a light bulb goes off, if getting a report on Dennis is a total waste, then maybe it’s worth it because then I can really say I tried everything possible to find the guy and failed and can then put the whole thing behind me, pack it up in a box labeled Pandora, close the cardboard flaps, seal it up tight with tape, put the box on a shelf way up top in the closet, never to be looked at again, that’s what I should do. One PI hung up on me when I called and asked for his help, that seemed rude, said he could lose his license. Did Jim Rockford, Frank Cannon, or Barnaby Jones (Quinn Martin Productions from the 1970’s) hang up on perspective clients, never saw that happen.
I get a telephone number on him. Don’t ask me how. I could send him a text and wait. Seems prone to failure, that’s what everybody does but I’m not just anybody. What do I write? What will they write about me when I am gone, that he chose a different path in life?, it’s possible. Assuming the number is legit he’s probably going to think my message is spam and gets immediately deleted. Too general or specific has risks. I spend a few days thinking about this and then arrive at a solution. I’ll call him.
He answers the call. My heart is pounding. “Hi Jimmy, my name is Bob. I’m in town. I have $1000 cash on me. For an hour of your time. Nothing below the waist. Only above the waist (I figure my chances of meeting the guy greatly improve by dialing back on things). But I want to touch you. I want to kiss you. I want to smell your armpits. Please. I really like you. I can show you on my tablet a complete vaccination record (not sure about this but seems like a demonstration that I'm an honest and clean person, which I believe I am).” I’m afraid I may sound weird, trying to put on my most serious manly voice but it’s not a fake, it really is how my voice sounds. I'm getting the sense that this is not the first time this guy has heard this exact presentation, the money thing is an unknown.
About the money, how did I arrive at $1000? All I can say is that I overheard a conversation (he was a drug dealer in prison, don’t ask me about that, all in the past) where a guy said he hired a female escort in Las Vegas that ended up costing him $1200. He did say she agreed to have sex with two of his friends along with him, so that’s $400 a fuck. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?
I think my offer is quite reasonable, probably more than what he’s used to getting, I have no idea. Maybe he doesn’t even do this sort of thing. How would I feel if a total stranger walked up to me and said they’d give me a large sum of money if they could put their hands down my pants? Obviously it would depend on several factors. What did the person look like? What did they want to do? Again, I’m trying to think about things from his perspective. Honestly, if a woman offered me a million dollars to touch me I’d say no, it’s just too repulsive. I have to walk a fine line here. But here I am, a man obviously, I’ve made my offer and he knows I’m serious. I’m thinking of just giving him $100 (I got all hundreds out of the bank earlier), he can keep that, buy himself lunch, if he wants the other $900 he knows how to contact me now.
He’s reluctant to meet. Says he’s had bad luck with such encounters and is tired of being used. The only thing that keeps him from hanging up is the money. He needs the money. I can see from the report that he’s not doing well. All of the housing he’s lived in the past few years are government subsidized, section 8 they call it. That’s a real comedown from a person who was probably flying first class at one time, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had a private jet once. Maybe my offer of $1K is laughable? I can pay more. Truth be told I have lots of money. Mom left me a lot and then I got even more from sister and brother. I can pay this guy whatever he wants, although he doesn’t know that. Heck, I’ll buy him a car if that’s what it takes. I am totally fucked 10x over. See, I’m in love with the guy. So I pull out all the stops and really lay it on the line:
“Jim. I think you are the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. I really like you. I don’t expect you would find me attractive nor do I want you to do anything you wouldn’t want to do. That’s why I’m offering you so much. I have it. And I’d also like it to become something regular and I get the sense that you need help. Please meet me Jim. I want to take care of you. We can meet at Starbucks, do you have transportation?”
He agrees to meet me. We pick the location, 10am. He says I’d better be there. Believe me, I’ll be there. I’m there at a table in the back of the place. He walks in and my heart is pounding. It’s really him and he’s even more handsome than I had expected. Wow, is this really happening? Am I having a dream.
“Hi Bob, I’m Jim. Nice to meet you.” He puts his hand on my shoulder, actually touches me. Maybe it’s a positive energy transfer thing. This guy is a pro. He sits down across from me with his coffee, suddenly I feel like I’m on a job interview. Why do I want this job? What passions will I bring to the workplace? Where do I see myself in 5 years? Have I ever managed large product developments? I snap out of it and return to the present. My heart is pounding.
“Hi Jim, I’m really glad we’ve finally met. I really want to apologize if I’ve offended you in any way. This just seemed to be the best way to get to know you. I have the money with me. We can leave and go to my house now if you want. Just an hour Jim. You will have a good time.” He doesn’t have a car (“it’s in the repair shop”, I’m skeptical of this statement), so he goes with me in my car and I drive back to my house which isn’t that far away.
When we get to my house, I lead him in and down the hallway to my bedroom. I was with a guy once who said to me that he was most turned on by a man who has a “take charge” kind of attitude, and I think I know what he meant by this. Once in the bedroom I tell him to please take off his shirt so I can see his tattoos. He does so and again my heart starts pounding. My god, this is him, I am now standing in front of the sexiest man who ever lived, I am not exaggerating! “Jim, I am hopelessly in love with you.”
And then we kiss. Passionately and deeply. My tongue is inside his mouth and his tongue in my mouth and it's fireworks. Wow, I just stuck my tongue in the mouth and am exchanging saliva with a retired porn star. As I said, I have been vaccinated for everything that a person can be vaccinated for. If anything he’ll get some immunity from me. Now I’m thinking what else do we do or more importantly what’s he going to let me do? I did say I wouldn’t touch him below the waist. I smell his armpits and they do smell great, he’s showered (thank goodness, if he had been a dirtbag it would have ruined the whole thing, once was with a guy who never washed his pubic hair, sucking his dick smelled like piss, I was so grossed out that things ended there real fast, the guy was totally clueless). We kiss some more, I run my hands over his body, we lay in bed and hold each other and talk, he’s reserved but opening up to me. I tell him about the first time I had sex with a man in San Francisco:
---------------------------------------
I'm 20 years old, first time in San Francisco. I don't have to report to Mare Island shipyard for a few weeks so have lots of time to explore and play in this unfamiliar city. I have a hotel room on Union Square, seems like a nice area. I walk towards the Tenderloin, it's a bad neighborhood, the police are walking around but so are the criminals. I really don't like this area. I picked up some free newspaper earlier that had an ad for the Campus Theater. It's billed as a place to see young college men dance (if you can call it that) on stage between movies. Sounds horrible, man I hate these places, but I am totally clueless, have no idea how to meet and have sex with men, I'm scared, even if I could go to a bar I wouldn't, that seems really scary also. I went to the Castro once and that scared me. Lots of older men walking around with socks and other objects shoved in their crotch area to make their dick appear bigger, felt like I was being stared at. No, won't be going back there. As I said, I'm totally clueless and totally inexperienced in the ways of sex and men. So the Campus Theater in a bad neighborhood is my destination.
When I get inside the theater I sit in the front row. The live show just ended, saw the guy standing outside earlier. Later he just walks on the stage, takes out his junk, and then does some kind of dance thing. It was dumb. There may have been 4 guys total on stage, it's all terribly thought out, I think I just wasted my money on another disappointing experience. The movie starts, it's your typical porn movie, bad dialog and script, very predictable action. Obviously this isn't going to get me off, may in fact may make me hornier and even more frustrated. I'm getting ready to leave, there's an electronics store on Market Street called Zack Electronics I want to visit, I want to buy a Fluke DMM, I'm tired of using substandard crap in the lab where I work at. Then I hear a voice from behind me - "may I sit next to you?"
OK, this is weird and wasn't expecting this. I say yes, come on up, really don't know what to expect. He's young, later he tells me his name is Mike and is 19 years old. He sits next to me in the front row, takes out his dick and starts jacking off with some lube. Where the fuck did you learn to do something like this (I'm thinking)? As hot as the guy is and he's really good looking, having him sit next to me in this horrible place isn't what I want to do with my time here in this beautiful city of San Francisco. I tell him that I have a hotel room just up the street on Union Square, let's go there and continue this. He readily agrees, we walk the city blocks leading to my hotel, he's really a good looking fit young man, says he lives in Daly City and comes to the city every so often to meet people.
We get to the hotel room, I take off my clothes, and then proceed to take off his. This is what I like, I really like taking the clothes off a man I'm getting ready to have sex with. It's actually very exciting to me. When pull down his underwear, I'm shocked frankly. He's really erect, like super erect, his prick is about 10" and he's super excited. He then says something to me that nobody has ever said to me prior or since, he says, "I'll do whatever you want." Wow! We get in bed where we jack off in each other's mouth (back then that seems like all I ever did with other guys, the fucking came later). I did do something daring, something that I was just getting into but hadn't a lot of practice. I smelled his ass. I sometimes think I was a dog in a previous life because I'm totally turned on by a guy's ass. I bury my noise between his fine ass cheeks and totally breathe him in. He smells great and isn't turned off by what I'm doing. He did say I could do anything I wanted, didn't he?
This is pretty much our evening. I think we both came three times, all three times I swallowed his cumload, he swallowed mine also. Not sure what else there is to do. It's time for him to go, nothing is really said about meeting again. He calls two days later, I'm getting ready to fly to New York in the morning. He wants to see me again. I think. I was so stupid back then. I told him I had other plans for the evening and never heard from him again. I always wonder what we would have done if he had come back to my room and we had a roll in the hay again. "Computer, replay holodeck sequence timestamp on file for Mike of Daly City."
---------------------------------------
When I finish telling Jim my story he starts taking his pants off. Why? What's happening? "Your story turned me on Bob and now I want to have you." Wow, wasn't expecting this. He has a full erection and it's beautiful. His balls are quite large. I sit on the edge of the bed while he stands and I suck his dick. Yes, this is pretty much what I wanted. He has a really big dick, it's filling up my mouth and could easily gag on it. I try to go as deep as possible which he seems to really like and he's moaning. I'm afraid he's going to cum but he's ok and in control. He says he wants to suck my dick which I allow him to do. I smell and lick his ass, I figure with this guy he's not afraid of a guy touching him down there, so I really enjoy myself, it's totally wonderful, he smells totally great and I stick my tongue into his asshole as deep as possible. He says he wants to fuck, he hasn't gotten off in a few days and has a huge cumload to shoot. That's exactly how he says this. I have a tube of K-Y in my nightstand, I had anticipated something like this happening. Do I have condoms? No, I tell him I want to do it bareback, that seems to get his attention and then he's all over me!
I tell him that I'm looking for maximum penetration, so we agree that we'll do it laying on our sides. He lubes up his dick and then my hole with his finger and then he's pressing himself against me. Believe me, I am tight because this hasn't happened often. He tells me to relax, when I do so he presses against me even harder and then he's inside. It really hurts! I try to relax and realize that the more I relax the better it feels and the deeper he goes inside of me. Ok, now I understand how this is going to all work. He's sticking his tongue into my ear while he fucks me and this is just driving me crazy! How did he know what was going to make me feel so good? And then he's reaching around and jacking me off while he fucks me. Says he likes to feel a guy's penis slide back and forth in the palm of his hand when he plows ass, says it's a constant reminder that he's fucking a guy, something he clearly enjoys doing. "Fuck me Jim! Fuck me Jim!" Suddenly he's thrusting harder, is really getting into the groove of things, I lose all track of time, and then he's coming. He starts moaning and even bites my ear, tells me he's coming, he's thrusting deeper and then he rams it in and keeps it inside me, that's when I know he's depositing his load deep in my ass, he says the word "fuck" each time he ejaculates, says it several times and then he relaxes. Pretty much collapses actually, lays still, still inside me, let's out another sign of relief, and then slowly pulls out. The job is done, I am fertilized! Well not really, that's just the way it feels, the whole process has been extremely erotic and moving, perhaps the hottest thing that's ever happened to me.
We put on our clothes, slowly. He keep staring at me, not sure why. He then holds me again. Tightly. We don't kiss, just stand there, he's holding me, pressing his body against me so no space exists between us. "What just happened between us felt real good. I want to see you again. Maybe next week same time?" This sounds reasonable. I call him an Uber and give him the envelope. It's yours now, I hope it makes your life better. The Uber arrives and it's time for him to go. I'm really not imagining this, I'm getting the sense that we both don't want things to end. Of course he leads a complicated life, I can't kid myself and think he really cares about me. I knew all of this going into the arrangement. OK, your name is Jim, you will always be Jim. But when I first saw you and you took my breathe away, I knew you as Dennis West. I'm in love with you man.
