First time with a BBC

So growing up in a Christian household, I really thought I was straight. I was told to love a woman and that was that. I dated 1 girl in HS. It lasted just over 4.5 years. Towards the end, she convinced me to let her stick a cucumber in my ass. I have a small dick and I think she was realizing this. She didn't want to spend her life with me. She made some comments and talked about how the male g spot is located in the anus. I finally let her one time and it was such an intense orgasm. It really got me thinking about things. I lived in a small town and all of my friends were athletes just like me. We played sports and showered together and I would look and I never saw anything huge. All of my friends had normal sized dicks. I really got into porn and quickly realized that I was way more turned on by the men than I was with the women. I would just get this urge to please their big cocks. I never had anyone to talk to. I started having thoughts of getting with guys. I was terrified because of my family and because my friends all used to make fun of the gay people. So after my girlfriend broke up with me, I was not interested in girls. I was 19 and looking for something new. I started browsing the Craigslist personals in the Lansing, MI area. I came across this one guy saying he was looking for a bottom to come take care of his bbc. I clicked on the link and my jaw dropped. I could not believe how big he was. He was sitting in a chair holding his hard bbc and it was by far the biggest dick I had ever seen. I immediately started rubbing myself. I took some pictures of myself and sent him a message. He was a few years older than me and he was gay and out and proud. The complete opposite of me. We instantly connected. We talked and texted for a few days and I was really feeling it. Then one morning he sent me a message saying to come over. My heart was racing. But I knew what I wanted. I cleaned myself up and showered and shaved everything and drove into Lansing. He met me inside of his apartment and we smiled at each other and went up the stairs to his room. We lied down on his bed and he started rubbing my chest. Then he asked if he could kiss me. In my mind, I was like this is it. There is no going back once I do this. And I was so nervous but so fucking ready and I said yes. Our lips touched, followed by tongue and it was the best kiss of my life. We were making out touching each other and I could not believe how big he was. He was wearing yellow sweats and his dick was hard and bulging through his pants. He could tell how much I enjoyed it. He took his pants off and got on his knees on his bed and put his bbc in my face. He said you really like this cock don't you? I said yes. He said suck it and show me then. And I just started sucking his dick like I was in fucking heaven. This was so much better than any woman I have been with. It was perfect. It felt so natural and pure and good. He was playing with my ass as I sucked on his dick and balls and he said he wanted to fuck me. I said you can try but I haven't been fucked before. He got my pants off and ate my ass and got my hole all soaking wet. He took out his lube and stroked his cock with it. Then he bent me over and started rubbing me and kissing my neck from behind. He got my ass in the air and started rubbing his dick on my hole. He kept saying how much he loved my ass. He kept feeling it and squeezing it as he was working his dick into my hole. Then he started thrusting and his head popped in my ass...holy fucking shit. It hurt but it felt so fucking good. So good. Then he just started fucking me. It was the best sex of my life. He ended up cumming in me and then he reached around and stroked me as he was cumming and I had the best orgasm of my life. I shot cum all over his bed. Then we started kissing and making out as I lied there feeling so fucking good. To this day, we still talk. We hooked up through the years. I just wish I could have told him how much I loved him. I didn't realize how much I loved him until it was too late. I think about him every single day and I hope one day he gives me one more chance to prove it. I wish I had his courage. That's for sure. I just love bbc and I love pleasing them.