Several lines of severe thunderstorms had rumbled through the area. Ethan Lawrence wished that he could postpone this trip, but his mother’s birthday was the next day, and he needed to be there. Every reason he had for going to Richardton revolved around a family member, but they were never the real reason he went. They were all his convenient excuses, but he pushed that from his mind and concentrated on the road. Another thirty minutes before he arrived, and he hoped to get there before the next storm rolled over him.
* * * *
Sean Johnson looked out the front window of his living room. The sky did not appear quite as grey as it had only minutes earlier. He knew from the television report that this was only a brief reprieve in the weather. He wondered whether Ethan planned to attend his mother’s birthday party. He knew he wouldn’t be going. He hadn’t been there since Ethan’s father had placed a hand over his crotch and asked him to meet him in secret. The interaction hadn’t prevented Ethan and Sean from maintaining their friendship all these years.
* * * *
Small hail had begun to fall as Ethan pulled into the driveway of his parents’ two-story Cape Cod. The house had been his home, too, when he moved here at the age of fifteen. He remembered back to that time. Just before he found out they were moving, he had come out to his best friend Andrew. He had a crush on Andrew’s younger brother. Andrew had not taken the news well, and the friendship had ended. Ethan was glad for the new start.
The hail stopped, but the rain continued to pour, so Ethan stayed in the car and continued to reminisce. He remembered meeting Alan, who lived next door. The two hit it off immediately. They were like brothers, and Ethan’s life changed when he met Alan’s father Sean Johnson. Alan’s father was all the things that Ethan’s father was not. But Ethan didn’t want Sean Johnson to be his father. Instead, he had developed a crush on him, and once he was eighteen, he worked up the nerve to tell Sean how he felt. He had asked Sean to be his first lover.
The summer before Ethan went to college, Sean Johnson had shown him what true intimacy can be when two men care for one another. He had attended college with the confidence that he would find the perfect life partner. Now twenty-eight, he’d still never found the right man with whom he could build his life. He had two relationships that had lasted longer than six months, but in the end, his goals and those of the men he cared about were just not close enough to allow compromise. Ethan knew that the unhappiness of being alone was less painful than the misery of two people who had pledged to remain together but had grown to dislike, possibly even hate one another. He’d seen it with friends; he was sure he’d witnessed it with his parents.
The rain eased up a bit, and Ethan ran for the house. He knocked on the door, and it was answered by his sister Alice. He had not expected to see her.
“I got here two days ago and started looking for a job. I just don’t like the east coast.”
“What about Roger?”
Ethan’s sister seemed puzzled. “Roger left me last month. I thought I texted you about it.”
“You said he went to Florida, but I thought that was for a business trip. You didn’t say he took off.”
“Well, he did; he was cheating, and they went to Florida.”
Ethan hugged his sister. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize; otherwise, I’d have asked you if you needed anything.”
“I’d have let you know if I had. Anyway, I want to take Mom out shopping tonight. Dad’s bowling. He said you can join him if you want.”
“No, I think I’ll take it easy. Where’s Mom?”
“She’s getting ready; she’ll be down in a minute.”
Ethan nodded. “I’m going to get my stuff and put it in my room.” Ethan went to the back seat of his car, got his luggage and the bag with his mother’s present inside, and took them to his room. He met his mother at the top of the stairs and gave her a hug and told her to have a good time. Left all alone in the house, he looked around his old room for several minutes before heading downstairs and out the back door.
* * * *
Sean had finished dinner and was putting the dishes into the dishwasher when he heard a knock at the back door. He opened it and found a smiling Ethan standing there. No longer a skinny eighteen-year-old, Ethan had filled out nicely and had grown two more inches taller.
Ethan and Sean usually met and talked when Ethan came to town, but they had not been together in the bedroom since that first summer. Ethan came into the kitchen, and the two men hugged. Sean noticed that Ethan’s scent was different; it was a spicy, sporty smell that seemed to stir something within him.
“I remember how I felt that day I stood in this kitchen and told you how I felt about you, Sean.” Ethan reached for Sean’s hand and held it against his lips.
“You called me Mr. Johnson. You were so cute and irresistible. Now, you’ve grown into a really handsome man.”
Ethan looked into his eyes and let go of his hand. “Am I still irresistible?”
“Time will tell,” he laughed, but he knew the two men had promised to treasure what they had and to move on, so they hadn’t been together since that summer ten years before.
“I wondered whether you’d come for your mother’s birthday. It’s tomorrow, right?” asked Sean, but it wasn’t really a question.
“How are you able to remember things like that, I’ll never know.
Sean became uncomfortable. He was feeling things he hadn’t felt in a while. They were things he wasn’t used to feeling with Ethan. “Let’s go sit in the living room.”
Ethan followed him and waited until Sean sat so he could sit in the chair closest to him.
“Ah, shit, I didn’t offer you anything to drink.” Sean started to get up.
“I’m fine,” Ethan told him and leaned forward. There were things he wanted to say, things he had practiced in his head. Fear of the unknown had paralyzed him.
“Have you been doing OK?”
“Not really.” The words slipped out before he had a chance to vet them.
“What’s wrong, Ethan.” There was that tone of concern, the air of caring, that had so often surrounded Ethan and made him feel safe.
“I’m just… I don’t know… Stuck in this rut. I go to work, come home, and spend my nights and days off alone. I’ve begun to avoid people because I feel more alone when I’m surrounded by crowds.”
“What happened with this guy Elliott? The way you described him, he seemed perfect.”
“I came home one day to a letter. It said that I was a wonderful guy, that any guy would be lucky to have me, and that he appreciated all I had done for him. He said his curiosity had been satisfied and that he was going back to his wife. By the way, I didn’t know he had a wife. He actually wrote that life with me wasn’t any better than life with her, so he was staying with her to feel more normal.”
“I’m sorry Ethan. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thanks. I’ve thought about doing what you did. I’ve met some guys who did just that. Well, sort of, but they’re lying to their spouses.” Ethan shook his head.
“And times are different now. Gay couples can adopt babies. It’s not easy, but if you’re looking for a family…”
“I’m not. I’m looking for a guy like you.” Ethan’s feelings came pouring out like a downpour from a cold front. “Every time I meet a guy, I compare him to you. Sean’s more attractive. Sean would hold me longer. Sean wouldn’t say something like that. Sean is kinder…” Ethan’s voice began to break. “Sean, I’ve fallen in love with you. The years have just strengthened my feelings. I thought that being apart would make it easier, but it’s just made me think about you more.”
Sean moved next to Ethan and hugged him. Feeling safe in Sean’s arms, Ethan began to sob.
Sean kissed the top of his head. Ethan meant so much to him. After his son Shawn’s death, Ethan was the reason that Sean was able to get through that horrible period. While Sean thought of Ethan daily, he had not realized until that moment of comforting his true feelings for the man he held in his arms.
Ethan looked up into Sean’s eyes. “Why is it so wrong for me to be in love with you?”
Sean stood up. He walked over to the photos on the wall and took down the one with Ethan and Shawn by the pool. Fifteen-year-old boys with big grins looked out from the photograph. Sean pulled it to his chest. Ethan stood next to him.
“Is this the reason you can’t love me back?”
Sean bit his lower lip. Sadness overwhelmed his face.
“Sean,” Ethan held his upper arms in his hands. “I’m not the little boy in the photo. I’ve grown up. I was a man the first time we made love, and I’ve matured since then. Wanting me and loving me is not a crime.”
“You’re right. I’ve been avoiding my feelings because I felt somehow that they were wrong. I was worried that telling you would have in some way manipulated you.”
“Maybe they would have when I was eighteen. But I’ve had a look around, and a mature me has decided that you’re what I want.” Ethan moved closer and the two men held each other and kissed. “I’ve wanted and needed that for so long.”
“So did I. I just needed you to set me straight.” Sean chuckled.
“Is that a dad joke?” asked Ethan.
“No, it was an unintended pun.” Sean’s face grew serious. “Don’t call me Dad or Daddy.”
“Never. You’re my Sean, my stud muffin, and you’re about to fuck me so hard that I see stars.”
Thunder rumbled outside as Ethan led Sean to the bedroom. Ethan removed Sean’s clothing and remarked how he was still in excellent shape. Sean removed Ethan’s clothes, revealing how Ethan had filled out.
Pushing Ethan back on the bed, Sean began kissing the erection that faced him. He was certain it was larger, but he was still able to get his mouth around it and slide it into his mouth. His partner’s moans of pleasure told him that he had not lost his skill. He sucked a little harder with his lips wrapped tightly around the rigid shaft and then pulled back until only the crown remained in his mouth. A deep moan rumbled through Ethan’s body. Sean released Ethan’s shaft and moved up to kiss him. The kisses were deep and passionate; the sensation of his mouth and the interaction with his tongue sent jolts through him.
Sean moved back down and kissed Ethan’s balls before sucking each, one at a time into his mouth. Ethan had forgotten the wonderful sensation that sent through his body, and he emitted a guttural “fuuuck” as he gripped the sheets in his fists. Sean’s tongue moved down to his taint, rubbing his tongue across the area before reaching the hole masquerading as a slit. The area was hairier now reminding Sean that his lover was more mature now, more of an equal. Sean plunged his tongue into the hole, forcing its quivering muscle to open for him. Ethan made the same squeals he had when he was eighteen, and Sean’s dick responded by hardening further. He couldn’t remember a time when his erection was this rigid. It was time.
Sean pulled the tube of lubricant from his nightstand and pushed some into Ethan with his fingers before lubing his cock. He reached for a condom, but he stopped when Ethan grabbed his hand.
“No, Sean. I’m clean, and I trust you.”
With the head of his cock against Ethan’s hole, Sean pushed himself in gently, slowly, lovingly. With their mouths locked together, and their tongues fighting for dominion, Sean’s dick moved slowly in and out of Ethan. Their fuck was calm, deliberate, and expression of the true love that existed between them. And when Sean emptied his seed into his love, it was with none of the violent thrustings of a horny youth. The two men lay together while their breathing slowed.
When Sean moved off Ethan, the younger man reached down the manipulate his own erection. Sean stopped him and pulled him between his legs as he moved onto his back.
Ethan bit his lower lip. Sean was yielding to him.
“We’re partners,” Sean said. “Now I need you inside me,” he said as he lubed his hole. “Make love to me, Ethan.”
Ethan pushed himself into his partner. His heightened excitement did not allow him to last long, but he came in such abundance that as he fucked his lover, his seed spewed from the hole. Ethan made up for his quickness in coming during subsequent love-making sessions.
Two months later, Sean sold his house, for his home was now with Ethan. And while they didn’t adopt any children, they did adopt two dogs from a rescue facility and made the animals' lives as happy as theirs.
