I woke up Saturday morning ready for another day on the job. This is my last day of work before the two-week Wildwood vacation. I felt rested, and my mind was at peace. Somehow, in my sleep, I'd resolved my dilemma. Willie and I have a mutual mature love together, one that developed over a few months, so it isn't a flash-in-the-pan sort of thing. We'd been on various dates interacting with many other gay and straight friends of Willie's, and we've slept together a number of times. In our travels we've run into several hairy situations, which we've managed to negotiate safely.
I feel fulfilled, comfortable, safe, and excited being in Willie's company, and it's him I want to get to know better and better. I think we share a rare form of young love. As for Robby and me, I'm pretty sure I love him; it's hard not to. He says he loves me all the time, too, but he began saying that before we even kissed, so we're like two thirteen or fourteen-year-old gay boys experimenting with gay sex, and that's hardly being in love. Also, we'll be going back to school, and I now know that Robby's gay, he'll be looking at other boys. Sure, he has a wicked crush on me, but how long will it be before he sees someone in high school that he gets all hot and bothered over?
At school, Robby travels in different circles than me, and we won't see each other. I won't see much of Willie either, but he and I are time-tested together, and Willie's no longer impressed by his gay prep school friends. He's committed to me, whereas Robby and I together seem scatterbrained in comparison. We sneak quick sex in my half bath or his pick-up, we make out like little kids in the locker room, and our entire relationship seems like it came out of nowhere. Willie and I are a solid couple, while Robby and I are ad hoc, spur-of-the-moment.
Robby had absolutely done a courageous, although recklessly stupid, thing by putting Joel's life in danger. He'd done it with my interest at heart, however, trying to protect me. He is a deliciously sexy, beautiful guy, but how temporary is his interest in me? When our senior year begins, no longer working together, will we go our separate ways. I'll be working at Super Stop and Shop after school, and Robby will be doing extra-curricular school activities that culminate in the spring with the high school baseball team.
I hope I'm not patting myself on the back too much by thinking that I've helped Robby's introduction to gay sex. I've never taken advantage of him, and I never would. From me, he's learning about teen gay sex in a safe environment with a harmless mentor, meaning me. I'm helping him gain confidence as well as experience. He did a huge favor for me and I hope I've done some favors for him, too.
Lazily looking out the window on my ride to work, I thought about all this and then laughed at myself because I'm giving myself a lot of credit. Damn, I sound like a dork. Sorry about that, but I'm doing the best I can. I've decided I won't tell Willie or Robby I want to change our relationship because this is a better way of handling it; letting things play out little by little for the best, whatever that turns out to be.
I sat back in my seat on the bus and enjoyed the beginnings of a boner. I usually get one on a bus. The boner made me think back to last night and Willie's long boner, and how well we fit together, too, and not just when fucking, but with everything. I'm only an inch shorter than Willie, and when we're hugging, and he has his arms around my neck and my arms are around his back, and my chin fits under his jaw, nestled in against his neck, our bodies seem to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. He puts his leg in between mine, and I wrap my legs around his, and we sway some, like we're dancing to a slow romantic love song. Willie uses his leg between mine to put pressure on my cock and balls, helping me get hard.
We're coming up to my bus stop. Walking up the aisle, my boner poking out and pointing across my thigh to the left pocket of my shorts. I had my left hand in the pocket, trying to hold the boner flat as I walked, but it was still pretty obvious. I hear the chuckles from the regular guys I see daily as I got off the bus. Two of the guys were gawking out the window at me as the bus pulled away. I grinned at them and gave them a friendly finger. Both of them returned the favor, and that made me laugh. We've never spoken, but it's as though we're friends.
I'd promised Robby I'd be here early enough that we'd have time to do a little making out in the old locker room, except he wasn't anywhere to be found, and I realized I hadn't seen the Dicker's pick-up parked in its normal spot when I came in. Guess they overslept, so I went to my locker and changed into my Dicker's Landscaping uniform. Damn! I really needed my coffee, especially this morning. Then, without really planning to do it, I felt like jumping up in the air and yelling, "YAHOOOOO!" because it was so cool being here without fear.
No fear of Joel, and no fear of Robby getting caught for maybe doing something to Joel's ride-on mower; no fear of anything. Controlling my urge to cheer for myself, I wandered back up through the locker room when Dick, one of the college guys, said, "Dylan, let's see it." I took my hat off to a chorus of boos because I hadn't gotten a haircut, and they wanted to make fun of my past too-short haircuts. The ones I'd gotten with Willie almost two months ago. Waving the hat, I'm mumbling, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, my fans."
Past the college guys, I had the temerity to scope out Joel's locker in the supervisor section. It was quiet in that section, but even so, I couldn't check inside Joel's locker because he had a combination lock on the door. I wondered if there might be anything in there that shouldn't be. It was still an unsolved mystery who had put that queer stuff in my locker at the beginning of the summer; it had to be Joel, right?
It felt so different today. I felt so free and easy without the tension of a threatening stare from Joel, or seeing him wiggling his index finger for me to come to him, or smacking my face or the back of my head. God, I hated that so much. Sitting in front of my locker, waiting for Robby, I'm starting to wonder if I should be worried something happened: a car accident or something. Then there he was, hustling down the aisle, calling out to me, "Sorry, Dylan, we had an accident this morning." They did have an accident. Robby says, "Yeah, but I got your coffee."
I followed him down to his locker. He was clearly agitated, muttering, "Saturday mornings at Dunkin' suck! Too many people are getting big orders of stuff for their whole families, and it's a Saturday ritual to take the little kids, too. God, what a pain in the ass." I took a sip of coffee and pretended to care about his rant. I was kind of amused that somebody besides me could get wicked frustrated within a normal slice of life. Robby pulled his Polo shirt over his head and continued with his tale of woe, "The freakin' Dunkin' parking lot is like a freeway, cars coming and going without watching out for other cars, and I'm unfortunately the one driving us to work this morning."
The coffee is perfect with the proper amount of sugar and cream. I drink some, then, to show I care, ask, "How'd the accident happen?" He looks at me, "That's what I'm telling you. This little car had just drifted up to idle behind our pickup. I couldn't even see the fucking thing in the rearview mirror, couldn't see it even as I heard the crunch when my truck backed into it, and I felt the jolt." Taking another sip of my coffee, and with more concern in my voice this time, I say, "Nobody got hurt, I hope."
Robby stops getting dressed, gives me a strange stare, and then says, "No humans were hurt, but that little car was hurting. A scratch on the pick-up's back bumper is all we got, but they had to tow the little car out of there." I said, "Jeez, I really am sorry. That sucks." Robby takes a deep breath, steps into his work shorts, and says, "Yeah, my Mom is pissed at me. Have you ever heard of a Mini Cooper? They're like Volkswagens or something; that's what the car was. A Mini Cooper convertible."
I'd heard of them as they were becoming a more common sight on the highway. I started to say that to Robby, but he cut me off with, "There should be a law that requires those little cars to have tall antennae with balloons or something on top so people can see them. That little car was all crinkled up after being tapped by our truck." Hmm, that was an aspect of driving I hadn't spent much time thinking about, accidents.
Robby's car accident experience made me think about Willie's little sporty convertible. How safe is that? Also, Robby had deflected blame for the accident away from himself, which made me think that in our society, it's never anyone's fault, is it?
No time for making out. We hurried to get out to our work crew's pickup truck as soon as Robby had changed. Toby was driving with a new guy riding shotgun. I looked at him, and Robby explained that the stocky fellow was Joel's replacement. He's Harry Austin, a married man from the commercial lawn care side of the business. He was a fat, jovial character who was not nearly as funny as he thought he was. Harry would need to be really, really, really bad to make me wish for Joel's return!
Harry became quite annoying as the day went on, but I found myself laughing at his corny jokes anyway, mostly because he wasn't Joel. Damn it, I need to be more appreciative of Robby getting Joel out of my life. I looked up from my weed-whacking, and there was Robby with the leaf blower, concentrating on blowing grass clippings off the walkways. Again, I marveled at how special he is to look at. I got this feeling in my gut like I wanted to hug him so hard or do something special for him.
My feelings were swelling up again for him, and I wondered how I could have been so cavalier earlier this morning in dismissing Robby as just being a boyfriend on the side. That's bullshit! Robby's a great friend, and he's got a lot more going for him than I do, so I should be honored he's even interested in me. He's smarter, better looking, is a big man on campus, an excellent athlete, and an excellent student. So, why was I thinking I was a big shot this morning? A big shot doing Robbie a favor by having sex with him?
I tell myself: Get real, Dylan! Perhaps Willie has given me a big head, making me think I'm special. I know who I am, and I'm not a guy who will treat Robby badly. He looked up and caught me staring at him. Oh my God, what a smile he gave me. I stared back stupidly, and after he looked around mischievously and not spotting anyone looking at us, he blew me a kiss. My face got red, and Robby grinned at my blushing. No, I won't wind down with Robby. What the hell was I thinking? I'm in love Robby just as much as I love Willie, maybe more. Oh, brother! I thought I'd figured something out, but I didn't!
At noon break, Robby comes right over to stand a fraction of an inch from me to ask if we can eat lunch together. I say, "Of course! I want to eat lunch together. He meant off by ourselves, though, which I didn't want to do. We had lunch with the group and then walked away to have a smoke. We walked silently for a minute, and then Robby said, "I need to drop Dodger off at one of his friend's houses, so I'll be alone tonight. Are you doing anything? Chubby works Saturday nights, so I was wondering, um..."
Willie's in Maine tonight, and Chubby's at the window washer boys' Saturday night meeting, so I'm alone, too. I mumble, "No, I've got nothing going on. Sure, let's get together." Robby mutters, "Awesome. What should we do?" Partially joking to see his reaction, I say, "How about a sleepover like we were twelve? I'll make hot chocolate, and we'll cook smores and make burping and farting sounds for shits and giggles!" Robby smiles, "Or, how about we fuck all night?"
I smiled big time now. "Ooh, that's a better idea. We can tell everyone we're doing a marathon computer game challenge." He nodded and asked, "What about your mom?" I explained that my mom works late at night and sleeps late in the morning. She never comes into my room, and he'll be gone in the morning hours before Mom is up and about. Robby's eyes shined as he murmured, "Omigod, this is so exciting!"
The day finished nicely; no bad things happened. Robby and I were laughing and upbeat in the back of the pick-up on the ride back to the office after work. We were making fun of Harry Austin's terrible jokes and ribbing one of the younger Hispanic guys who everyone called Los Lonely Boy because he was always singing their hit song of ten years ago, "How Far Is Heaven." We were ribbing him about all the girlfriends he has, too. We were in great spirits because tonight should be monumental for Robby and me.
After a hot little make-out session in the old locker room, we planned for the Dickers to come to my place and we'd eat dinner. After that, Robby would drive Dodger to the party, and we'd start our party, Robby's and mine.
As I was leaving the building, I heard Robby telling his parents about this rocking hot video game I had and how he and I were doing an all-nighter competition playing the game, and blab, blab, blab. Smiling, I hoped Robby hadn't learned how to lie that easily from me. Nearing the bus stop, I had that urge I'd been having more often lately to jump up and yell, "YES!!!" because things were going super in my life. I'll worry about my dilemma tomorrow or Monday at the latest.
At home, I showered and got dressed in cargo shorts and a sleeveless white T-shirt with the word "BALLS!" silk-screened in blue on the front. I did the best I could with my hair, which was getting long and raggedy. I put on the necklace and watch that Willie gave me and my hoop earring, compliments of that Wildwood piercing salon and the Mohawk man. Damn, I looked pretty cool, even if I do say so myself. Sandals on my feet, I went outside to sit on the steps smoking, trying to blow smoke rings like Willie can do.
Robbie was right on time, tooting his horn as he parked the pick-up truck. Dodger, up the steps first, demanding, "Gimme a drag." I muttered, "You're too young." "So are you," and then he added, "You look so cool! If I didn't need to run the show at this party tonight, I'd stay here and do you again. You know, like I did you in the pool that time. I KNOW you'd like that."
I gave him my 'Get serious!' look and muttered, "Whatever are you talking about now, little boy?" Robby came up the steps, mumbling, "Dodger, you need to be seen and not heard." Dodger ignored Robby and gave me the sexiest look while pretending to bite the fingernail on his index finger. I rolled my eyes, Dodger dropped a couple of F-bombs saying the party he's going to was no girlie sleep-over like Robby and I was doing blah, blah, blah.
Standing, I flicked my cigarette butt into the gutter, except it hit Dodger on the shoulder, and he said, "Hey!" Robby needed to call the captain of the high school baseball team because they were organizing a summer baseball camp a week before school started, and it was fast approaching. School daze was just around the corner, and we'll be seniors. WOW! It seemed like a short time ago; I was a scared little freshman.
While Robby's on the phone, Dodger and I found ourselves alone in the finished basement. He is an exact replica of Robby, except he's almost two years younger and has brown hair and brown eyes instead of blond and blue. Dodger asked, "Do you have a drink of something down here that I could have?" There was a case of bottled water on the washing machine, so I got him a bottle and twisted the cap off as he said, "Nobody knows I'm gay except you and Vinny De Marco."
Curious, I ask, "Who's Vinnie De Marco?" Dodger was very matter-of-fact, "Oh, he's my fuck buddy. Vinnie and I kind of mess around with some gay sex sometimes, like every chance we get. He's hot, not as hot as you, but pretty hot just the same." I shook my head because it's a shame we gay guys need to do all that pretending. Of course, I didn't know I was pretending until my gay coming-out experience with Carl.
Near the top of the stairs, I could hear Robby still talking on his cell phone, and then the doorbell rang. Robby had ordered a pizza, and it was here. He nodded at the money on a small table beside the door. I used some of Robby's money and some of my own to pay the pizza delivery boy, who was young, with a big winning smile that I had to smile back at. I wildly over-tip him. He did a cute thing with his eyes and said, "Thanks, dude. You rock!" and then wiggled his ass down the steps to his little double-parked pizza delivery van. I watched him until he got in and drove away. What a hottie!
I looked over and saw Robby smirk at me, still talking on the phone. He'd seen the exchange between Pizza Boy and me. Busted! I had to blurt out a laugh, shaking my head as if to deny my ogling. Dodger and I started in on the pizza, and Robbie soon finished his conversation and joined us. It was so sweet eating with the Dickers brothers as they're so hot to look at, and they're always smiling, their white teeth flashing through the chewed-up pizza, always just on the verge of laughter. We bumped into each other affectionately as we got up to get sodas or hot pepper flakes, and it all reminded me so much of Chubby's and my interactions.
There's such a connection between the four of us, and it must be more than just that we're gay because Chubby isn't gay, and Robby and Dodger don't realize that the other of them is gay. They are convinced that their brother is straight. That's so odd, it's funny. I'm not telling on either of them. Let them figure it out for themselves.
Whatever it was that attracted us to each other, I'm very grateful for it because life has been so good lately, and the Dickers are a big part of that. We screwed around, joking and insulting each other as we ate every drop of two large pizzas. We drank cokes and burped for laughs, acting younger than the pizza boy looked. Later, outside for a smoke, Dodger said, "Come on guys, you've gotta come to the beer party with me. You are my two favorite guys in the world, and it won't be as much fun without you there."
Robby shook his head, saying, "We don't know those guys, and you shouldn't be going to a beer party anyway! Jesus!" Dodger does a pretend pout, saying, " See that! Robby and I used to do everything together, and now you broke us up, Dylan." He was laughing when he said it, but maybe there was a touch of truth to what he said.
Robby and Dodger did everything together, just like Chubby and I used to do everything together. Hey, life has changed, and now, none of us do everything together, but it's still cool when we can be together. Robby more or less said the same thing to Dodger, and I could see the affection between them. Amazingly, they don't realize each other is gay.
I went along as Robby drove Dodger to his party. Right in front of the party house, with who knows who was watching, the brothers did their quick kiss on the lips goodbye, and when Robby pulled away from the curb, he said, "Dodger is the best little brother ever. Guys complain about their little brothers, but I got lucky with mine. I mutter, "Yeah, Dodger rocks!"
Robby mutters, "So do you, Dylan! We're going to have the hottest, best time tonight. You're the greatest friend anyone ever had and the sexiest, too!" His face was so animated, and I watched him blush at his comments. I muttered, "You're the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. I love you, too." As Robbie's face approached the sun's temperature, my eyes teared up because I get overly emotional sometimes, just like Willie does. Well, hell, not only Willie; I'd seen Chubby get that way, too, and even Robby.
Robby's right, though; we will have the hottest time tonight...
To be continued...
