The first four weeks of my summer break were in the books. In my second year of art school in New York. Left that small Maine town as soon as I could to the bright lights; I thrived there with the hustle bustle. I didn't t miss much while I was gone. The smallness and meagerness of the place. Summers are special there, though. I’d look forward to the freedom, catching up with old friends, the parties, the beaches, being home with family and being able to decompress. But; 21/2 months was TOO long.
The freedom would give way to a grueling work grind of long hours at vacation spots; to earn as much as possible to go back with. The parties and blow outs would fall into the drunken high school routines they became before I left.
My dear friends were great; but still remind me how much of an outsider I’d feel at times; of the closet I didn t even know I was in. Hook up chasing and sexual frustration were the norm; especially for me. And being home? The warmth would give way to become the place of conservative rules and restrictions a childhood home was; especially with my unknowable dad. I was a middle kid who walked to my own beat.
Artsy, slim and slender, long hair; probably more feminine than I realized I was. We did not see eye to eye on much; and argued often. Honestly, Always kind of rode me and never felt much in the way of anything from him.
So there I was; after a ten hour day from work at a local amusement park, on a brutally hot day that stayed a night, made worst by the lack of air conditioning in our old house, made longer by another boring night out., lying in bed w as little on as possible. A loose cotton sheet thrown over, overwrought, frustrated.. sexually frustrated; but too tired to do anything about it. It was almost ten pm; as I twisted over. Not sure how long I tossed and turned ; but knew I had been in my sleep. I awoke with a start.
