The crowd was on fire. I was surrounded by cocks battering my mouth, face, shoulders, and torso, all demanding attention. Something had to give. Something did.
A couple random guys ripped off the tear-away pouch from my jockstrap and threw it into the crowd, revealing my iron-hard cock. “Look at the bitch’s cock”, someone shouted. “Make him cum!” yelled another. My cock had been so confined in its leather cage it felt glorious to be liberated. The cool air on in was like a breath of fresh air. And it was ready to explode. I was so horned up from this experience that if anyone even touched it, I’d erupt. That was bad news because I knew my interest would evaporate if I came. The key to this whole thing was my insatiable horniness. I had to make sure I didn’t cum.
I was quickly back on my knees, servicing a circle of cocks when a couple of alpha types grabbed me and took control. “This bitch’s mouth needs a rest”, the first one said, “but that ass is begging to be fucked!” Almost as if rehearsed, the rowdy crowd erupted,” Fuck his hole. Fuck his hole. Fuck his hole”. By now, all that remained of my leather jockstrap was the waistband and straps framing my ass. My hole and cock were completely exposed…and waiting.
Before I could get my head around what was unfolding, Alpha Guy #1 and Alpha Guy #2 each grabbed an ankle, picked me up, held me upside-down in the air and then lowered my body so I was resting on my neck and the back of my head. They held me up like a giant “V” exposing my hole to the world and announced, “This hole needs some lube,” and then Alpha Guy 1 dramatically spit into my hole. (Having someone spit in your hole while you’re being held upside down in front of 30 naked cheering guys was outer-worldly). Alpha Guy 2 immediately did the same, leading to even more catcalls from the group, “Feed the hungry bottom”, “Nice hole”, and “Teach him a lesson” were among the more colorful. There were at least 10 more nude guys on the mattress at that time stroking their cock and waiting their turn. They each added their personal “lube” to my hole, each one intent on making sure I could feel their contribution and one-upping each other for volume of spit. One part of me was disgusted, one part aroused, and one part relieved. If I was going to get fucked, and it was clear I was, I wanted my hole to be ready. All the guys were “generous” with their lube (to be polite), so by the time they were done, there was saliva dripping up my torso (actually down toward the floor as I was upside-down) and my hole was full of spit. This was the moment it hit me: I was officially depraved. I was naked, servicing over 30 men, allowing them to spit in my hole while they jerked off and came on me, and was about to have them deposit their semen in me. And somehow, it was ok. I looked up at my cock (remember, I’m upside-down at this point) and saw a drop of pre-cum hanging precariously from the tip. Someone jostled me, the drop was dislodged and landed directly on my lips. It could have been a coincidence, but I took it as a sign. I was fucking loving this.
Just as the guys were finishing the spitting ritual, I gave them a couple winks with my butthole, just to fuck with them. “He winked at me,” one yelled, “He’s begging to be fucked,” yelled another. ‘Both’, I thought.
Was I really begging to be fucked? I think I had my answer.
Alpha Guy 1, still holding one of my ankles in the air lowered me to the mattress and told the crowd, “Time to teach the daddy a lesson. He really wants it”. I was glad my hole was adequately lubed because there was no sign these guys would go easy on me. AG1 and AG2 lowered me onto the mattress, face-down. I could feel AG1 spread my legs and slide on top of me as he announced to his buddies, “I get first honors” to which they cheered (was there nothing these guys didn’t cheer for?). I was face down on the platform with my head hanging over the edge so AG2 could kneel on the floor in front of me aligning his cock perfectly with my face. The angle made it easy and comfortable to take him fully into my mouth. All I had to do was open wide and he could easily deep throat me, which he began to do with gusto.
With my mouth under assault, AG1 was now laying with the full weight of his sexy, sweaty body on me with the tip of his cock poised at my hole. I took deep breaths waiting for the inevitable, but he surprised me by whispering in my ear, “I don’t want to hurt you, so get your ass in the air to give me a better angle. I’ll go slow, I promise. There’s a lot more cock after me, so I’ll get you nice and loose for them. Tell me if it hurts and I’ll take it easy.” ‘There is a god’ I thought to myself. I immediately felt him enter and could feel his cock slowly begin its journey into my rectum. Ironically, the ample saliva was the best lube I’ve ever used. His cock slid in with amazing ease. He continued to whisper, “Take it daddy, take it all. You feel so good. Your hole is amazing. You’re such a fucking daddy whore.” The crude language worked its magic. Words like “Take it all” and being called a “daddy whore” sent me into overdrive. After hearing those words, I longed for the young stranger’s cock to fill my hole and immediately lifted my ass for him to take it. Luckily, there was a closeup on the screen of him penetrating my hole, because as soon as he slid in, I heard them chant again, “Fuck his hole, fuck his hole, fuck his hole”. I scored a major victory.
I wanted to focus on this gentle man’s cock sliding into me, but something else got my attention. I could feel the inevitable; AG2 tensed up and blasted a viscous load covering my face, provoking what might have been the most thunderous roar of the night. I was near delirium so didn’t catch the actual number, but I knew we were getting close to 30. Fortunately, Marco was right there with the cum rag to clean me up. Then they turned my head to the side and pressed it into the pliable air mattress and a third guy, who was next to him, pressed his knee into my neck so I was completely immobilized. AG2 then grabbed both sides of the inside of my mouth using his fingers like a fishing hook to hold my mouth wide open for the other guy’s cock. I had no choice and he plunged it into my helpless mouth. Like his friend who was fucking me, he wasn’t violent, or even urgent. Rather, he relished the moment and seemed to take pride in the fact that 30 of his closest friends were admiring his hard cock. He entered slowly; he knew his pride and joy was being live-casted on the three flat screens and milked (pun intended) the scene as long as he could.
Let’s review. I’m face down on a mattress with my arms restrained behind me and 30+ nude, horny guys watching. Alpha Guy #1 is fucking me from behind but being mercifully tender. Likewise, Alpha Guy #2 has me pinned down with his knee on my neck pinning my head to the right and has his fingers in my mouth holding it open like a fish on a hook, while another friend is face fucking me. Although my assaulters had me immobilized, I was surprisingly not uncomfortable. In fact, I almost felt at peace. My mind went into the trance I had experienced previously with Charles and Jack where hedonistic desires were all that mattered and everything else, including my past, became irrelevant. And as foreign as this experience was, it wasn’t hard for me to get there. As long as I wasn’t physically in pain, and so far I wasn’t, I relished the hyper-masculine attention tonight was bringing me. I didn’t know much more I could take, but, for now, bring it on.
As I lay face down, the parade of cocks assaulting my mouth, face, torso, shoulders, and hole continued. Some were great; some not so much. But in a strange way, I wanted to please all of them. It was my role—my obligation—to bring every one of them to orgasm. If I didn’t, I would have failed Jack.
The guys who were fucking me from behind would nearly always pull out before they came so their ejaculation was caught on camera. The same was true for the guys who were fucking my mouth. My mind was elsewhere, so it was difficult to count, but the last chant I could recall was, “28, 28, 28”. Was it possible that I had taken 28 loads tonight? At this point, I was merely a receptacle for their semen, but even that seemed unlikely. But who was I to argue?
By now I had cum in my mouth, my hair, on my back, and in my hole. I was spent. I wanted more, but I was exhausted. Suddenly, the room became eerily quiet. The change in energy signaled something important was unfolding. It may have been the first time since this started there wasn’t a cock violating one of my holes, so I cranked my head to see what was happening. The crowd of guys on the mattress seemed to part like the Red Sea and I saw two figures emerge. Was it my imagination or was it Jack and Charles, both nude, approaching the mattress?
I laid there, face down for a few moments, and then felt a presence around me. I opened my eyes to find Charles squatting down face-to-face with me with Jack right beside him. “You ok, sexy Pete?” Charles asked. “Fuck yeah”, I bravely whispered. I was exhausted but didn’t want to disappoint them. Then Jack leaned over, tenderly massaged my back and said, “You are fucking amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. Tonight will go down in history because of you”. I don’t think there are words in the English language that would’ve made me happier.
Both of them gently massaged me as I laid on my stomach, covered in sweat and a mix of crusty and still wet cum, and finally Charles leaned down to whisper, “There’s only one more thing stud. We’re only at 28, and Jack and I are the only ones left. They want to see the birthday boy fuck you. Are you up for it? And can you take care of….this?” pointing to his own steely hard cock. “They’re begging for a spit-roast”.
I was intentionally quiet for a moment, partly because I was exhausted, and partly because I loved the drama. “Bring it on, daddy”, I replied.
Charles gave Jack the nod which everyone was watching closely, so closely the room erupted in another cheer. “30, 30, 30” they chanted.
Charles and Jack carefully turned me over so I was on my back, then Jack cautiously spread my legs and pulled them over his shoulders. I dropped my head over the edge of the mattress to give Charles better access to my mouth so he could kneel on the floor behind my head, giving him the perfect angle to for me to swallow him while Jack fucked my hole.
They knew what I’d been through and were remarkably gentle. I laid on my back waiting for Jack to penetrate me. He pushed himself between my legs and slowly parted them, exposing my hole to a waiting iPhone camera and the entire crowd. He looked genuinely caring as he placed the tip of his cock against my hole. Just as he entered, he asked again, “You ok Pete?” “Fuck yeah,” I replied. “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for all night, birthday boy”, I said with a smile. “Damn,” he replied. “I hope I don’t disappoint you, sexy Pete”.
“Don’t hold back, birthday boy. Fuck me, hard”, I growled.
Just as Jack began to push into me, Charles placed a hand on each side of my head and tipped it down the side of the mattress. He was equally as concerned as Jack, ” I want you to take my cock, but you ok?” he asked. Genuinely appreciating his concern, I responded, “Yes sir, sexy Pete wants your cum. These boys are cute, but I want a real man’s load.”
“Be careful what you wish for, sexy Pete,” he answered. “Watching this for the last hour has made me incredibly horny.”
I had given them permission to do what they had wanted to all night. Despite my bravado, Jack entered me with a care and tenderness. His cock was so thick that it filled me up, but with absolutely no pain. And he knew exactly when to push into me, when to pull out or me, and when to stay perfectly still. It was a near-perfect fuck.
Likewise, Charles was equally considerate. I moaned loudly as I took his cock in my mouth to let him know how much I wanted it. He continued slowly and let my mouth and tongue to all the work. One cock was working my hole, the other my throat, both with genuine affection and growing force. As much as I enjoyed the debauchery of the first 28 guys, I relished the affection of these two.
They continued to thrust, in and out, first slowly, then a little faster, until their thrusts were perfectly synchronized. It was like the three of us had become one. I could feel Jack’s cock push hard into my gut which would push me harder into Charles’s cock. Then Charles would push his cock down my throat which would push me back into Jack’s cock. I could sense they were communicating back and forth and were loving this as much as I was. And for the first time with them, I was allowed to stroke my cock. The feeling was exquisite. I had been denied so many times before with them, that being allowed to pleasure myself made it even more special. I was back in the zone where my awareness was limited exclusively on my two holes, and for the first time, my cock. I didn’t know what was giving me more pleasure…being steadily drilled by them or finally getting to stroke my own cock. It escalated, and escalated and escalated until finally all three of us knew the end was near. Each of us stiffened. Jack shot hard and deep into my hole. Charles’s body shook and he pulled out and covered my face with a boatload of cum. At the same time my cock exploded with such force that I hit Charles in his face, then torso, then all over my own face and torso. It was unequivocally the most extreme orgasm I’d ever experienced.
The three of us, all covered in sweat, were unable to move. Jack’s cock remained lodged in my hole continuing to pulse, Charles had placed his softening cock back into my mouth to suckle, and I fingered Charles’s and my cum that covered my face and torso. There was an eerie silence from the group, and then, without warning, the chant emerged, “30,30 30”.
I had done it. I had fulfilled my promise by being the centerpiece of a Jack’s bukkake birthday party and successfully taken 30 loads from his friends. But more importantly, at least to me, were Charles and Jack. When Jack and Charles came in and on me, they had real feelings, for each other, and for me. It was a tender moment that I was grateful to have been a part of.
Jack’s birthday party was still roaring, so Charles urged him to rejoin the party while he stayed back to take care of me. He knew I wasn’t quite up to moving yet, so we laid on the mattress, both nude, with him simply holding me. By this time everyone had shot their load so they were more interested in dancing and having fun themselves. So when I was finally ready to move on, he leaned over and whispered, “Let me get you cleaned up, sexy Pete.”
As he helped me get up I had a chance to scan the party. Dim lights, loud music, and plenty of guys dancing, some shirtless, some in jockstraps, and a few still nude. When they saw Charles leading me out, they stopped and gave me a huge cheer and I waved back and smiled with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Notably, there was one guy, fully dressed, standing toward the back, almost as if he were assessing the scene. He seemed a bit older than Jack and his buddies, maybe late 30s, and looked a bit more professional. As I quickly scanned the crowd, I saw he was looking directly at me and our eyes locked for just a moment. Not knowing who he was or why he was there his presence seemed somehow significant.
Charles led me back to the office where we had stored the mattress before the party. My clothes were waiting there and better yet, there was a shower right off the office. The smell of cum and sweat when you’re surrounded by 30 hard cocks is an aphrodisiac. After they’ve used you…not so much. I was more than grateful as Charles led me to the shower. Charles was still nude as well, and under normal circumstances he would have joined me in the shower without asking. It was big enough for two, and I sensed he wanted to, so I smiled at him as I was turning on the water and said, “Ok, stud, you can join me, but ONLY to scrub my back. I don’t have the energy for one more thing.”
I stood back until the water temp got to the right degree of hot, stood under the shower and once drenched, gave him the ok to join me. Fortunately, there was a giant sponge and liquid soap, and much was needed. I took the sponge, filled it with soap, handed it to Charles, and stood with my arms out and legs apart, indicating I was waiting to be scrubbed. He smiled broadly and said, “It’s the least I can do, you animal.” Charles covered my body with sudsy water making sure nothing was left untouched. He was uncharacteristically deferential to me when he got to my private parts. When he reached my cock, balls, and hole, he asked if I wanted him to continue or if I’d like to do it myself. He had done such an expert job so far; I was happy to have him finish the job. When I was thoroughly cleaned up, he handed the sponge to me and I repeated the process. I was equally careful and washed him with the same care he did me. Although I was exhausted, the unimaginable happened. I gradually got hard again. Just 30 minutes ago I didn’t think I’d ever want sex again, but I still had weeks of cum stored up and the gentle, loving shower Charles and I shared made went straight to my cock. And there was no mistaking Charles was feeling the same. Dicks don’t lie. Even though we both tried to avoid anything sexual, the more I soaped him, the harder he became.
Despite my earlier protests, it was becoming clear that this was going to be more than just a shower. Typically, he’d push me down to suck him off leaving me horny and hard. But not tonight; I was having none of that and he knew it. After I finished rinsing him off, I dropped the sponge out of my hand, and pulled him into me for a loving embrace and passionate kiss. I think we were equally shocked and turned on. And the best part was the feeling of our equally hard cocks grinding against the other. Despite all our sex up to this point, I had never gone cock-to-cock with him. Frottage, whether laying down or standing like we were now, may be the most overlooked erotic act two guys can share. You’re aggressively rubbing your bodies together, exploring and enjoying each other’s muscles, but the feeling of two cocks competing for dominance is difficult to describe. We continued like this for minutes. We both enjoyed it immensely, and Charles knew I had earned it.
After a while, Charles turned off the water and then did something completely out of character: he dropped to his knees, looked up at me adoringly, and said, “I want you to shoot as hard as you can. I want to taste you the way you have tasted Jack and me these past few weeks.” He then lowered his head and went to work on my cock. I had no way of knowing but his cock sucking skills were amazing. His tongue played with my balls, licked up one side of my cock, then the other, flicked up the bottom of it until he reached the head giving that special attention, and found a way to flick the very tip of his tongue into my piss slit. I quickly began to groan, thrust, and gyrate. I can’t believe that after the orgy I had just experienced, I’d have anything left, but he was so tender, loving, and sensuous, I couldn’t resist. It didn’t take long for the second load of that evening to begin its journey up my cock. We both could feel my balls pull up into my body, my hands clench his head and force my cock deeper into him, and finally my explosion into his mouth. It was so epic it made me see stars. “Oh fuck, Charles….yes..yes…yes” I groaned. I could feel some of it go straight down his throat but I had the presence of mind to pull back a little. I wanted him to taste me like I had tasted him. My experience with Charles, Jack and their friends taught me the taste of the cum is the best part of cock sucking. And judging by his response, he agreed. As I continued to shoot into his hungry mouth, I could hear, “Mmmm…mmmm….mmmm.” He was loving it too. I felt him swallow a time or two but wondered if he kept any in his mouth. My question was quickly answered. Once I stopped spasming, he stood up, leaned over and kissed me. Our cocks touched once again, but the money shot was him opening his mouth to share my cum. “Mmmmm” I responded. Without a word, we knew instinctively to swap the cum, back and forth, until it was finally all was swallowed.
Again, without words, we stood in the shower for minutes, with each of our arms on each other’s shoulders. We were as one. “Now it’s my turn to thank you”, I laughed. “You were fucking amazing”, I continued. “Why have you been hiding that skill?”, again asking with a wink.
“Not sure”, he confessed. “Jack and I were having fun owning you, and I think you enjoyed it too. But I think we’re past that now.”
“Yeah”, I said, “it was new territory for me and I won’t deny I enjoyed exploring it, but I like what just happened too.” I retook control and pulled him back into me for a long, last kiss. “C’mon stud, let’s get dressed. I need to get home and get to bed”, I finished.
We dressed quietly—and not wanting a lot of fanfare when I left—I asked Charles if we could make a quick Irish goodbye. Unfortunately, there was no way out except through the party, but Charles promised he’d get me through there post haste. As we walked out, the party was still raging and Charles remembered that I’d at least have to say goodbye to Jack, the birthday boy. “Of course”, I responded when he mentioned it. Charles spotted him pretty quickly and guided me over to him. Interestingly, he was talking to the guy who I had seen earlier standing in the back of the room, who seemed slightly out of place. Before Charles could even mention to Jack we were there to say my goodnight, Jack reached out an pulled me into a hug, “Pete, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been looking for you; I’d like you to meet Nick. Nick was one of my Teacher’s Assistants at OU and he was an informal mentor to my brothers and me”, sweeping his hand around the party indicating all his friends “at Delta Lambda Phi”. I wasn’t quite sure, but it was a pretty safe bet that Delta was Jack’s and his friends’ fraternity. I leaned in, aware that it was important to Jack I make a good impression, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nick. I saw you toward the end of tonight’s…”, using air quotes I continued,”…’entertainment’, but it looks like you missed most of it”, I said unapologetically. I was struggling with how to address the fact I just let 30 guys cum in or on me but decided to just let it go. What was done was done.
“More than a pleasure to meet you, Pete. Jack has talked so much about you. I’m in marketing and communications here in Dallas as well, and your reputation is legendary. Congratulations on your award when you retired.”
I laughed, “Well, I’m not sure how tonight may impact that sterling reputation. Time will tell”, I smiled.
He shocked me by grabbing my hand in a second handshake, pulling me close to him so he could whisper in my ear, “Hey, dude, no judgment. That looked hot up there.”
‘Wow,’ I thought. This kid would’ve loved to have been me up there. Maybe I’m not a total perv after all.
Releasing my hand and backing away so everyone could hear, he continued, “I asked Jack if I could meet you tonight. He told me how helpful you’ve been with him with his career. If you’d be willing, I’d love to take you to lunch some time to pick your brain.”
“Of course,” I replied. “Helping people with their career is something I enjoy.” But I was ready to be done for the evening so politely suggested we exchange contact info, which we did, and find a date that worked for both of us.
I politely shook Nick’s hand goodnight and Jack and Charles walked me to the door and stopped. Jack went first, “Pete, I can’t thank you enough for putting yourself out there for me. All my buddies know that was my fantasy, and they can’t believe I knew such a hot daddy to do it for me. You are their fucking wet dream. I hope they went easy on you.”
He was no dummy; the “hot daddy” and “wet dream” compliments were all he needed to say.
Then it was Charles turn, “Pete, you have been a great friend and I can’t thank you enough. You know how important it was for me to get tonight perfect for Jack, and you made it perfect. You’re one in a million.”
They both leaned in simultaneously into a long, strong group hug. I had come to the realization that this was the end of what came before, and it seemed a good way to close this chapter.
I stepped back and simply said, “You two are equally special. Let’s not be strangers”.
Oh, we won’t”, leered Charles.
With a turn, a nod and a wink, I walked out the door to go home to a well-deserved sleep.
I arrived home and there was one thing, actually two, I needed more than sleep: a bourbon and some time to think. The bourbon was easy. But I had a lot of thinking to do.
What had these past few weeks been about? And what the hell had I just done, exposing myself as the centerpiece of a real-life porn film? Had I no dignity?
Dignity. Wasn’t that the point? Surrendering my dignity had been what turned me on with Charles and Jack. Throughout my career, I had dignity coming out my ass. Becoming a total slut, nobody saw that coming, particularly me. Yes, I had some thinking to do. I went to bed weighing my all-important self-esteem v. the raw lust of being a slut.
I slept like a baby that night and woke up hoping my life would settle down a bit. I wouldn’t be that lucky. I slept until mid-morning which is wildly uncharacteristic of me, and waiting for me when I awoke was a text from Nick, the guy I met at the end of last night, thanking me for taking the time to meet and suggesting a couple dates to meet for lunch. I still had a lot of stuff weighing on me and lunch with Nick wasn’t high on the list. I made a mental note to respond by the end of the day.
The conflict that was plaguing me didn’t let up. While the hedonistic side of me enjoyed the sex of the past few weeks, that just wasn’t me. Yes, I had surrendered my dignity, but that wasn’t the issue. When Charles and I were equals last night in the shower and when he went down on me, unanswered, I felt like I had regained some important part of myself.
Sunday was winding down, and I had made little progress figuring out my dilemma. But I did owe Nick an answer. I looked at the dates he had proposed, picked one that worked for me and got back to him:
“Nick, good to meet you last night. As we discussed, I’d be happy to
have lunch and discuss your career. Tuesday works great. Let’s meet at The
Club at noon. My treat.”
Ok, box checked. Now back to my dilemma.
Thank god I had CrossFit to preoccupy me for the next however long it took to figure all this out. I threw myself in on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. 2x/day is rare but the physical demand was exactly the tonic I needed to get my head straight.
I was dressed and leaving for lunch on Tuesday with mixed emotions about meeting with Nick. Last time I met with a young marketing executive in Dallas I ended up in a kinky 3-way relationship. There was no reason to believe Nick had anything like that in mind, but I was still trying to make sense of those few weeks with Charles and Jack. I arrived at The Club and Nick was already there, waiting at a table. He saw me arrive and hopped up to greet me and something struck me hard.
When I met Nick Saturday night at the party, I had just finished starring in Jack’s bukkake followed by Charles’s tender, loving oral sex. The last thing on my mind then was even more sex. But meeting Nick three days later was a different story. Nick was one striking young dude. He was older, taller, and slightly more mature than Jack and his friends, yet maintained a handsome youthfulness that was seductive. Dressed in trendy business casual, tall—about my height—with a swimmer’s/runner’s build and a mop of bushy brown hair which gave him a sort of sexy, absent-minded professor look, but handled himself like a solid executive.
He gave me a firm handshake and big smile, and immediately thanked me for taking the time to meet with him.
He quickly got to the point that he didn’t have a specific issue that he needed help with, but rather that this was more of a networking lunch. Knowing my history and success in the Dallas advertising community, he took the liberty of asking Jack for the introduction.
He spent the first few minutes telling me his story. He graduated with a master’s degree in communication over a decade ago and had built a solid career at a couple different PR (public relations) firms in Dallas. He was hoping to make the leap into more of a general management role in the future (i.e. run the agency) and, knowing I had successfully led two different agencies, was eager to get my perspective.
I was impressed with him. These were exactly the questions he should be asking at this stage of his career, and I always coach my people that asking for help makes you look smart, not weak.
And off we went. It was a great lunch. He was genuinely interested in hearing every twist of my career, and when we’d talk about his current agency role, I was able to offer valuable perspective as I knew most the players he worked for and with. We had lived through much of the same agency politics and humorously compared battle scars. The more we talked, the more animated the conversation became and by the end of lunch, I was hoping we’d get the opportunity to do this again and got the impression he was too.
Although he initiated the lunch, I insisted on picking up the check; I guess it was still the ‘daddy’ in me. He protested, but I prevailed. As we were waiting to leave, he began to fidget a bit and I could tell he had something on his mind. Once the server had left the table for good and he knew he wouldn’t be overheard, he leaned in slightly, “Pete, about Saturday night” he began. ‘Damn, this again?’ I thought. He continued, “I want you to know how much I admire you for doing that for Jack. I suspect that was outside your comfort zone and having someone who looks like you meant so much to Jack. And for what it’s worth”, he finished, “like I said that night, I wished it was me up there”.
“Oh….is that so?” I said, half laughing and half sneering. Genuinely curious, I added, “Can I ask why?”
Well,” he began, “this may be TMI, but, shit, I’ll just get it out there. Of course, you know I’m gay; that’s no surprise. But on the spectrum of dom-to-sub, let’s just say I lean more toward the sub side. What you were doing at the party is most sub’s dream.”
I was speechless. Not because I was surprised (although I was), but because these past few weeks had emerged from nowhere, and now I’m possibly confronted with yet another fork in the road. All I could do was share my real feelings. “Nick, I’m not sure where to even start on this topic. I’ll admit that wasn’t something I’d ever expected, but it was certainly a…” I paused to pick the precise words “… once-in-a-lifetime experience. There’s too much backstory to get into now and I’m not sure I even know what I’d say anyway. Maybe we’ll have a chance to talk about this in more detail another time after I’ve had more time to think about it. I’d be happy to share more then.”
“I’d like that”, Nick replied. “I’d really like that”.
