When Felix arrived at the Maron Arms,got off the elevator and came to his apartment the next morning, he almost shouted.
“How long have you been there?” he asked Joey, who was sitting on the floor before his door.
“A while,” Joey said.
“That’s… really weird.”
“Not as weird as breaking into your apartment and sitting there until you got back.”
“True,” Felix said after a moment. He took his keys from around his neck and unlocked the door.
“Come on in,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Yeah,” Joey said, but this didn’t seem to make him start working. He stood in the main room looking around and then he said, “Scott knows.”
“Yes.”
“So what do we do?”
“What I do,” Felix said, “is get ready for my first day at work.”
“And what about us? You and me?”
“You and me,” Felix said, taking a breath, “simply cannot be.”
“Whaddo you mean? Are you going to start up with Scott?”
“I’m not starting up with either of you,” Felix said. “I can’t be running around with brothers. That’s crazy. It’s going to drive you apart. This is some drama I don’t want to be…” Felix stopped. “I was about to say I didn’t want to be in it, but I am in it. I don’t want to create drama.”
“So it’s over between us?”
“Do not do that,” Felix said, suddenly.
“When we first started what we started you didn’t even want it to be serious. You didn’t. And now Scott really is serious, and as much as he loves me—”
“Do you love him?”
“Not the point. As much as he loves me, I’m not having him in my life or in my bed for right now. And I certainly can’t keep carrying on with you.”
“But,” Joey said, “Do you love him?”
“I do.” Felix said quickly.
“Really?”
“Yes,” Felix said more firmly.
Joey looked like he was thinking very deeply, trying to say something, and then he said, “Well, what about me?”
Felix raised an eyebrow.
“Do you love me?”
Felix ignored this, going into his kitchen and Joey followed him.
“The other night, Saturday night, you can’t tell me that didn’t mean anything. As intense as that was, you can’t tell me it didn’t mean anything?”
Felix took a breath, standing at the coffee maker.
“Joey?”
“Yes.”
“You might ask yourself why you never cared if I loved you or not until you knew I loved your brother.”
Joey opened his mouth and Felix said, “Look, we’re still friends, but I have to get dressed and go.”
Joey nodded, but didn’t move.
“Joey,” Felix repeated. “I have to go.”
Joey nodded, pushed his ball cap firmly onto his head and turned to leave, closing the door behind him.
“And now,” Felix said, looking at the closed door, “From one mad house to the other.”
“Oh, God!” Ben moaned as he came.
Felix looked up at his face, and felt Ben’s hands gripping his shoulders.
When he’d come off of his orgasm, still panting, still inside of him, Ben looked down at Felix. He pulled out and lay across him, straddling him.
“Is it always like this with you?” Ben asked him.
“Whaddo you mean?”
“Real,” Ben said, placing his face against Felix’s chest. “Every time we have sex it’s so real.”
Felix’s hand touched Ben’s damp hair, and his fingers threaded through his locks.
“I’ve never had sex without me being there,” Felix murmured, “So I would have to say it’s always like this.”
“Sometimes,” Ben said after a while. “No. Most of the time… I’m not myself. And I’m always myself with you.”
Felix turned so Ben had to roll from him, and they lay side by side looking at each other.
“I don’t really know how to be a boyfriend,” Ben began, and Felix opened his mouth, but Ben put a finger to his lips.
“I don’t know how to be a boyfriend,” Ben said. “Not to a woman, and certainly not to a man. I was terrible when we were together. And we were together. But… whatever we are right now, can we just keep being it?”
When Felix didn’t say anything, Ben said, “I know you’re thinking of that Scott guy.”
Felix still said nothing, and Ben said, “I remember a long time ago, you brought up this guy named Michael.”
“Yes. I remember that.”
“I think you brought him up to make me feel jealous. Make me get on the stick.”
“That is an astute observation,” Felix said.
“It made me intimated. It didn’t make me get my act together,” Ben said.
“I don’t know about this Scott—except that he decked me. And if you want to be with him eventually, that’s fine. But right now…”
“Right now?”
Ben leaned forward and kissed him, pressing Felix down and wrapping his thighs around him.
“Right now,” Ben told him, “It’s me.”
Joey hit the M4M button on Craigslist, and looked at the list of available opportunities
“This is….” Joey murmured.
Well the one called, “Are you here?” didn’t look so bad. He opened it.
Are you Here? - 28 (Sb)
age : 28 body : averageheight : 5'7" (170cm) status : single
Yo cool cute guy here wanting to make some new friends or whatever. Like to meet someone my age so 20 to 30. I am 28. Looking 4 someone real and fun. Like movies, games, and........ Please no bigger guys (no offense) Im 5'7, mid length blk hair, mixed, (blk and wht). Love the slender body. . Whoooo. And love fun soo hit me up. I am not out so I do like discreet if possible. =) I’m here the question is, Are you Here?
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
Joey shook his head. Too needy for someone who said they were looking for friends. Why couldn’t he just meet someone he knew in the building? Or why the fuck couldn’t Felix just come to his senses? Well look right here?
Looking for friendship that could possibly turn into something more. I'm not playing games or with the games so if your looking for sex this is not the post for you. I am brown with brown eyes, low cut hair with a big beautiful smile. I love to chill at home, play video games, hang out with friends and drink socially. I'm not uber masculine but I'm also not uber feminine so for those of you who would have a problem being seen with me in public there wouldn't be an issue.
I prefer African American men but I've learned to broaden my horizons….
Aside from being a racist who would be kind enough to date a white guy, this was also the ugliest black dude he’d ever seen, with straight orange hair to boot. What the fuck! Plus, he misspelled you’re.
Well, now here was something.
“24, 5’10, 160, fit, tanned, adventurous horn dog, usually use protection, but not always an issue, centrally located at the Maron Arms.”
He knew Felix wasn’t twenty-four, and in some ways not very fit, but for some reason the thrill of knowing someone who was also in the Maron and didn’t seem totally crazy made him write back immediately.
20, white, fit, masculine, fit, well muscled, blue eyed, dark haired, adventurous, ready to have fun. I’m getting over something that just didn’t work out. Give me a holler. Peace!
“Well,” Joey, thought, slinking down in his seat. That should do something.
“Ey, Joey.”
He turned around and Scott was standing in the doorway, in grey slacks and blue shirt, leaning against the door post.
“We need to talk.”
“Uh, alright.”
Scott closed the door behind him and sat on the bed.
“You’re my brother,” he said.
Joey nodded. This was true.
Scott shook his head. “You’re always there for me and I’m always supposed to be there for you. We are brothers. I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for how I acted and even…I don’t have a right to step in the middle of anything you had going.”
“I don’t have it going,” Joey said.
“What?”
“It’s over,” Joey said. “It’s done. Felix said so. So… I gotta move on. I’m moving on.”
Scott pursed his lips and looked displeased.
“Well… I don’t know what to say.”
“Yeah,” Joey shrugged. “Me neither, actually.”
For a while they stood looking at each other, and when Joey saw the look on Scott’s face, slightly lost, he realized how much he loved his brother.
“Are you alright?” Joey asked him.
Scott blinked.
“I was about to ask you the same thing. Joey, I don’t ever want anything to come between us. Not even—”
“The person you’re in love with.”
“I was going to say Felix, but… I guess. Yes.”
“He said he wouldn’t let that happen,” Joey said.
Scott put a hand on Joey’s shoulder. He looked very tired. He said, “I have to go up to see Matt tomorrow? Do you want to come with me?”
“I can’t,” Joey said. “I got work.”
“On Saturday?”
“Yup.”
“Um,” Scott grunted. “Fucking uncivilized.”
