Rudolph
-Why are you crying, Miles?
-Oh, it’s nothing, Graham.
-Come on, brother, is it that you don’t trust me? I would listen respectfully to anything you want to say and I don’t wanna see you crying. You can trust me. So let’s see: you’re gay, isn’t it?
-Oh, I never thought you could know that. I didn’t want to tell you thinking that maybe…
And as I saw him crying rivers now, I approached him and hugged him strongly.
-You thought I’d like you less? No, Miles, you’re the one I like most in this world. Stop crying please and now please tell me what the matter is with you.
-I was crying because I’m in love and it’s an impossible love.
-Tell me, please, I wanna soothe your heart.
-You know I have some workmates with me, and I always had a crush on Rudolph, do you know him?
My brother, Miles Waverley, was 25 now and for three years, he’s worked in construction. I am Graham Waverly, one year younger and I work in a catering company.
-Tell me about Rudolph then, Miles.
-Well, I still did not love him but always lusted for him. It was so hot to always see him working shirtless and sweating…
He was red as he confessed that to me, but I hugged him again and said.
-Never blush before me, please Miles. Of course, since you’re gay, you like seeing him shirtless and if you like him being sweaty, why not tell me that too? Nothing weird so far and I wanna become your best friend.
-One day, I discovered Rudolph jacking off and I just couldn’t take my eyes from that vision. He had caught me and suddenly said.
-What the fuck are you doing looking at me that hard?
-But I answered him with a question: would you like getting a blowjob?
He shrugged his shoulders but told me.
-Well, a blowjob’s always a blowjob, but don’t ever think that I would suck your cock too.
-Ok, Rudolph.
And then I knelt down and gave him the first blowjob. He seemed to be really enjoying and I liked seeing him so horny.
-You’d had sex with other boys before, haven’t you Miles? -I asked my brother.
Timidly he confessed that he had had sex with other boys before. I looked at him and smiled.
-Good Miles, go on.
-Rudolph behaves coldly with me. He never insults me or calls me a faggot, not that, but he just uses me. He got used to asking me for blowjobs when we were alone at work and I always nodded and sucked his dick over and over again.
-One day -Miles went on- he told me that he’d never fucked an ass and asked me whether he could fuck me. By that time, I was sure I loved him, so I said to myself: why not? I also need Rudolph too fuck me so that very day, I gave him my ass. And I usually give him blowjobs or my ass to fuck. He just uses me. We never go to have a drink together later or make things together like friends do. But Rudolph is an addiction and I somehow like having somebody telling me what to do and obeying him. I feel used and degraded, I feel shame about myself but cannot help him. And I was crying cause I know I will never have him.
-Only one thing of everything you’ve told me can shock me a bit, Miles. And it’s not that you are used by Rudolph, yes used is the word, not pleased. But that does not shock me, nor am I shocked for your desire to obey a boy. I’m just shocked because hearing your words, I can clearly see that you don’t feel proud of yourself.
-How can I feel proud of myself? I feel ashamed. I know I’m only being used but I love him. Rudolph is the kind of boy I have always lusted for, a masculine sexy boy. If it weren’t him, I wish I could find one day someone as sexy as him, or as you… oh, sorry, Graham, I shouldn’t have said that.
-Miles, I’ll ask you a question, but please be proud of whatever you are or feel. I cannot stand seeing you ashamed. Well, the question is: do you also lust for me? Have you maybe wanked over me? But look at me and answer calmly.
-Oh shit, Graham. I’ve so many times wanked over you. You’re so sexy that I cannot help it.
-Hush, Miles. I still want you proud. Look at me and answer: if you could be with someone similar to me, would you give him the power to order you but treating you sweetly?
-Of course, Graham, but you’re heterosexual.
I responded kissing greedily Miles’ lips. I loved that intimacy at once.
-Do you give me the power to order you and make you happy?
-You have that power, Graham, but you needn’t go further. You’ve already kissed me and sooner or later, you’ll feel disgusted for having kissed a boy.
-On the contrary. I love you Miles and I want you to be proud now, proud of lusting for your brother, proud of everything you are. I won’t stop.
And I kissed his lips again devotedly and started touching him. I wanted my brother for the first time to feel something that so far he lacked: pride.
