Julian
The few days after coming out in a surprise press conference were a lot more difficult for me than I had expected.
The press were relentless vultures, often camping outside of the stadium and even the safety of our private apartment, waiting to catch a word or a photo of Alexis and I together. A photo of Alexis mid-blink had already gone viral on social media, accompanied by the unsavoury hashtag #NFLYokoOno. Some of my sponsors had dropped their support of me, citing ‘wanting to go in a different direction’ instead of their obvious homophobia; luckily, these were replaced with twice as many offers of sponsorships from better companies. A few of the players on the team now behaved differently around me, and at times I caught them whispering and looking at me, although to my face they claimed they were completely fine with me being in a same-sex relationship.
But by far the worst thing to come out of this momentous event was the change in Alexis I had witnessed. The once carefree and spirited man I had fallen in love had quickly transformed into a hesitant almost recluse version of himself. He kept his journeys outside of the home to a very bare minimum, only choosing to leave the apartment if he needed groceries or food; he constantly had movies streaming on the TV to avoid any news that might pop up pertaining to us; and I also felt a part of him hold back when we were together, whether it was making love, or simply conversing at the dinner table.
Was this all my fault? Was I the one to blame for this hollow shell of Alexis that stalked around the apartment all day?
I should have never expected Alexis to accompany me on this journey, especially if I knew it was going to affect him this much. Sure, I was now free to love Alexis freely and how I wanted, but it came at such a cost, I wasn’t totally confident that I had made the right decision anymore.
Now, Alexis was curled up on the couch across from me under a blanket reading a book. Even though he was deep in his book - or at least he was pretending to be - I could still see that glow in his skin, and the bright lust for life he usually radiated, had disappeared.
“Lex,” I said quietly.
Alexis looked up from his book, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose, and he offered me a half smile.
“You know I love you, right?”
Alexis nodded his head, his half-smile slowly turning into a full one.
“Of course I do,” he said. “And I love you too.”
“Do you resent me for coming out?”
Alexis shook his head immediately. “Of course I don’t. This is your journey, and I am enormously proud of you for taking control of your life and coming out on your own terms. It was incredibly brave and admirable, and I am sure you have inspired queer people across the world to come out on their own terms as well.”
“That’s really sweet, baby.” I smiled at him. “Do you resent me for the repercussions of me coming out though?”
Alexis pressed his lips together momentarily before shaking his head slowly, but the slight hesitation was all I noticed.
I pushed myself out of my seat and got on my knees in front of him. “Baby, I’m so sorry that this has affected you as much as it has, and if I could take all of this hurt and frustration away from you, I would.”
Alexis blew out a breath and put his book down next to him. I grabbed his hands and held them in mine.
“You haven’t been yourself since it happened, Lex, and I hate seeing you hiding up here because my decision affected you like this.”
“Julian, I don’t resent you,” Alexis said after a deep breath. “This week has been tough on me, there’s no denying that; but we’re going to get married, my love. Your life will impact mine, and mine will impact yours, because you’re going to be my husband and I’m going to be yours. That part is inevitable, and it’s something I happily signed up for when I said yes to you.”
I pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles that my lips could find. “Baby, are you sure?”
Alexis nodded his head, offering me the first genuine smile I think I had seen on his face all week. “I’m absolutely sure, Julian. This week will be tough, but next week will be better, and the week after that will be better, and soon I’ll become used to all this nonsense, so much that I won’t even notice it anymore.”
He leaned down and kissed me on my cheek, and then moved to press his lips against mine quickly.
“I’ve made many mistakes in my life and regret so many past decisions I’ve made, Julian, but the best decision I’ve ever made was choosing to be your sober companion and falling in love with you the way I did. That wasn’t a mistake, and this is not a mistake.”
Alexis held my head in his hands and he pressed his lips to my forehead once.
“I love you so much,” he whispered. “Don’t ever doubt that.”
I craned my neck to look up at him. He read my silent plea and kissed my lips sweetly, gently biting on my bottom lip before pulling away completely.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Alexis smiled. “The Yoko Ono of the NFL loves you too, Julian.”
Alexis
I left the apartment to get Julian and myself a coffee, urging him that I would be fine to do so by myself. I had barely made my way out of the building before a slew of reporters and paparazzi spotted me and began approaching me for photos and quotes.
If I was going to put on a brave face for anyone today, it was going to be for Julian. He had risked everything to be with me; the least I could do was ignore the unwanted media attention for him.
“Alexis, is it true that you turned Julian against his wishes?”
“What are your thoughts on fans calling you the Yoko Ono of the NFL?”
“Do you know anything about football at all?”
“How will this affect the Sharks upcoming season?”
“Do you think that Julian’s career is over now?”
The questions grew more ignorant and unbearable with every word, but I gritted my teeth and continued ignoring them as I made my way to our chosen cafe. Numerous sets of eyes followed me along with the media as I crossed the road and headed into the small building, making a beeline for the counter.
The friendly barista who was one of the few people kind enough to treat me like a normal human being looked up at me and smiled.
“The usual for you two?” she asked politely.
“Yes please,” I said with a smile.
The young woman, whose name tag suggested that her name was Bria, looked over my shoulder and the smile on her face quickly disappeared.
“Unless you guys are customers, get out of my shop!” she yelled, pointing her finger at the paparazzi and reporters that followed me here.
Resisting the urge to turn around and smirk at the media being ejected out of the store, I paid for our two coffees with a generous tip and stood to the side, keeping my head down by pretending to be busy on my phone.
My newfound friend in Bria handed me my order in a cup tray and offered me the use of the store’s back door, which I politely declined. Strolling out of the cafe with two coffees in hand, the media swarm began following me again, throwing more outrageous claims and accusations at me, while the photographers aimed to get yet another embarrassing shot of me to add to their own smear campaigns.
I retreated back into our building and let out a sigh when the elevator doors shut behind me.
This was going to be tough, but it was all going to be worth it. Because I had him.
Walking through our front door, Julian was sitting at the kitchen counter on a particular stool that gave him the perfect view of the entrance corridor. I imagined my fiance had been sitting there in all of his anxiety, impatiently awaiting for me to get back from the frenzy outside.
“Hey baby,” he said, making an obvious attempt at trying to sound cool.
I placed the cup tray onto the counter next to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Have you been sitting here the entire time?”
“No,” Julian said quickly.
“He’s lying,” Frank interjected.
Julian shot him a glare. “Not entirely. I got up to pee once.”
I walked around Julian’s stool and stood behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m fine. I was followed to the cafe and back but I didn’t pay them an ounce of attention. I told you I’d get the hang of this.”
I felt Julian let out a deep breath, his shoulders sinking with relief. I rested my chin on his shoulder and he turned his head to kiss me on my brow.
“I’m sorry,” Julian whispered. “I’m not trying to be overbearing.”
“I know you’re not. You’re just looking out for me because you love me.”
“More than you know,” he whispered.
“Let’s go out to dinner tonight,” I suggested, pulling away from my fiance to grab my coffee.
Julian spun around on his stool to look at me incredulously. “Are you sure baby?”
“Absolutely. It’s game time.”
Julian
Just like a repeat of the other night, we pulled up at an Italian restaurant that Alexis found online and sat in the car for a few moments together. We were sure that none of the media that seemed to have camped outside of our building permanently had followed us, but I guess it wouldn’t matter anyway the second someone posted on their social media accounts where we decided to have dinner tonight.
One of the main things that my dad had instilled into me as a young man was that no matter what, you protected your loved ones. Seeing Alexis unclip his seatbelt and fiddle with his hair in the reflection of the mirror, that natural instinct inside of me to protect him was almost kicking into overdrive; like a bear protecting its cub, I wanted to shield Alexis of all the ugliness in the world that was now threatening to break him.
This world had failed him before, and I was going to make sure it didn’t happen a second time.
“We can go through the drive thru and take something home if you want,” I suggested one last time.
Alexis brushed his hair behind his ear and smiled at me. “I’m fine, Julian. I promise. Let’s go.”
He stepped out of the car and waited for me to join him on his side. Alexis was in a tight-fitting heather grey t-shirt that stretched across his wide chest and a pair of faded blue cuffed jeans that cupped that beautiful ass of his. He swung a brown leather jacket over his left shoulder with his index and middle fingers; a move that looked so effortless, it made him resemble an Abercrombie model.
“You look beautiful,” I said.
“Thank you, my love. You look handsome.”
I held my arm out for him and he clutched onto my bicep with a face that showed a level of determination that inspired me.
I led the way into the restaurant, looking around at the simple and rustic decor with a touch of trepidation. The lights hanging from the ceiling were covered by a wicker fitting which cast an almost artistic shadow across the room. A large Italian flag hung on the main feature wall behind the host’s desk which gave the restaurant a familiar sense of love and family.
The hostess looked up at us and that look of recognition immediately washed over her face.
“Here we go,” I whispered discreetly to Alexis.
“Welcome to Luigi’s,” she said with a well-practiced smile. “Do you have a reservation?”
“Yes, under Alex,” my fiance said.
I looked over at him, my brow furrowing at the choice of name, but Alexis hid his smile by pressing his lips together.
“Of course. If you could follow me, please.”
As we followed the hostess to our table, I tried to ignore the darting pairs of eyes that followed our every move that seemed to grow in numbers with each step we took inside the restaurant. Other patrons began leaning across their tables to whisper to each other which made my fucking skin crawl. If the attention was getting to Alexis as well, he was doing a great job of hiding it.
“Here you go,” the hostess held her hand out to a table that had two menus already laid out. “A server will be with you shortly. Have a great evening!”
Alexis sat across from me and picked up the menu, his eyes casually glazing over the printed cardboard in his hands.
“Baby?” I whispered.
“Yes, my love?”
“Are you okay?”
Alexis nodded his head and beamed at me. “I’m okay because I’m with you, Julian.”
Our server approached us and as I looked up to greet him, I immediately noticed that there wasn’t that look of recognition in his face that I had become so accustomed to since being thrust into the spotlight; no sparkle in his eyes that told me he had jumped to conclusions on the couple that sat in front of him from what he saw in the media.
I had never been so fucking relieved to see someone who didn’t give a fuck about football.
“Hello, my name’s Dodge and I’ll be your server this evening. Can I get you started with some drinks?”
The customer service smile on his face as his eyes darted between Alexis and me just like we were any other regular couple made me realise how truly insignificant these issues were. The reporters who set up a residence outside our apartment building; my ignorant teammates who changed how they acted only when I was around; the constant change in my sponsors; all of these issues seemed so infantile when at the end of the day, I was just a human like everyone else.
Letting out a deep breath that felt like a physical weight had fallen off my shoulders, I nodded towards Alexis. “He’ll have a sparkling water, and I’ll just take still water, thank you.”
Alexis
Besides some fairly obvious looks and even stares from other people in the restaurant, our first meal together out in public as a couple was a success. Julian left a very generous tip for the server - explaining that he deserved it for simply treating us like normal people - and soon we were out the door after enjoying a very delicious meal.
Julian reached down and weaved his fingers through mine, giving my hand a small squeeze as he led me towards his car.
“Julian Ambrose!” A reporter appeared seemingly out of nowhere with a camera aide trailing behind her. “How does it feel to be one of the very few NFL players out of the closet?”
Instinctively, Julian looked annoyed by this reporter’s question, and he sped up his footsteps towards the car, but I squeezed his hand and held my arm out stiffly, halting him to a complete stop.
“Julian, wait,” I whispered. “This could actually be a good question for you to answer.”
“What do you mean?” he asked under his breath.
“Whether you like it or not, you’re a role model to thousands of people across the country. Your story and your bravery might inspire young people watching.”
Julian looked over his shoulder and then his gaze trailed down to our hands clasped together. His brows furrowed as he pondered his decision, before he cleared his throat and turned to face the reporter.
“Could you repeat that?” he said, his voice coming out a lot calmer than expected.
“Oh,” the reporter said, sounding surprised. “I was just wondering how it felt for you to be one of the very few NFL players out of the closet.”
I squeezed Julian’s hand, silently offering him my support.
“To be honest, I don’t think who I choose to love should affect anything to do with my NFL career. I’m still a beast on the field, still the best defensive end in the league and the highest paid defensive player in the entire NFL for a reason. But if my story helps anyone in any way feel more comfortable about their own identity, or inspire them on their own journey, then I’m glad I could be of some use.”
The reporter nodded, offering a small smile I’m sure wasn’t meant to be captured by the camera. “And if you could offer any words of encouragement to those who you hope to inspire, what would you say?”
Julian’s eyes narrowed and he pressed his lips together as he thought about his response. “I would say that even though right now this seems like an impossible hurdle to get over, I would much rather jump the hurdle and trip on the other side than not try to get over it at all. You have people in your life that will love you and support you in your journey to be your authentic self, and even if you feel like you don’t, come see me and I’ll be there for you.”
His words pulled at my heart strings, resonating in a deep part of my soul I wasn’t aware was there. Maybe young impressionable Alexis had yearned for a role model like this, a hero I could’ve looked up to whose words would act as my torch, guiding me out of the darkness of my own tunnel.
As I watched this handsome man - my handsome man - speak so clearly and so eloquently on a journey that was new to him with words that would be sure to echo in the heads of young people around the world who needed a role model like him, I realised that no matter how much time would pass or how many paths and forks in the road appeared in my life, he would always be my person.
“Thank you for your time, Julian,” the reporter said.
She motioned for the cameraman to stop recording and she let out a deep sigh.
“Apologies for ambushing you like that,” she said, “we received a tip that you were here and I wasn’t quite sure how else to get to you.”
“Appearing out of nowhere is probably not the best idea,” Julian said with a chuckle.
“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” The reporter paused and glanced between Julian and me. “Just between us, I think that your relationship is wonderful and I’m sure it’ll help many people across the country, so thank you for taking the time to talk to me.”
“Thank you for not asking a dumbass question,” Julian replied.
With his impressive strength, Julian pulled me close to him and pressed a firm kiss on my forehead. His arm snaked around my waist and his hand rested on top of my hip.
“I hope you both have a lovely evening,” the reporter said with a polite smile before walking away to look over the footage with her cameraman.
“Julian,” I whispered.
“Yes baby?”
“That was possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen you do.”
Julian laughed and pressed another kiss against my forehead. “I’m glad,” he said.
I stood on my tiptoes and held my mouth close to his ear so only he could hear the breathy words that escaped my lips.
“You’re going to get it when we get home.”
Julian
As soon as we were through our front door, Alexis cupped my dick through the fabric of my pants in his palm. I almost let out a yelp as he pushed me back against the wall with one hand while cupping my growing length in the other.
“Baby, I -”
Alexis quickly cut me off by thrusting his tongue in between my lips, his mouth moving so effortlessly against mine. His leg slid up my side as he grinded his hips into me, our stiffening cocks moving against one another.
“Jesus, Lex,” I whispered.
“Do you want me to stop?” he breathed.
“Fuck no.”
“Good. Then shut up.”
Alexis quickly unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my pants and pulled the fly down. His skilled hand groped my hardening cock through the fabric of my boxers, which seemed to be gaining moisture with the precum leaking out of my cock head as Alexis had his way with me.
Like an animal starved with hunger, Alexis seemingly dropped to his knees and pulled my underwear down in one swift movement and he seized my dick in his hand, looking up at me with unadulterated lust in his eyes.
Jesus H Christ, I would do anything this man asked me to if he looked up at me like that with my hard cock in his hands.
Before I could even construct an English word in my head, Alexis swallowed my cock, slurping up and down my length. Instinctively, my hands ran through his hair and nothing but a moan escaped my lips as Alexis worked my hard cock.
I felt my climax nearing, prompted even further as Alexis’s hand cupped my balls, rubbing and massaging them gently; his other hand worked the base of my cock while his tongue and lips slobbered on the top.
“Lex… baby…”
Alexis’s mouth slipped off my cock and he looked up at me, saliva dripping down the front of his mouth.
“Take me now,” he ordered.
Alexis rose to his feet and quickly shimmied out of his pants and briefs, his own hard cock bouncing up to full attention. He wrapped one arm around my neck and without a word, jumped up, locking his legs around my waist.
“Baby, what are you doing?” I whispered.
Alexis shushed me with a kiss. “Just hold me up.”
He licked his free hand and reached down, slathering his spit all over my already wet cock. He positioned my dick up and I felt him loosen his thigh grip around me, causing him to slide gradually down my body.
When I realised what he was doing, my mouth opened and my brain tried to form a coherent sentence, but I felt the tip of my cock line up against his hole, and suddenly all my knowledge of the English language disappeared and only a low grunt escaped my lips.
I raised my hips to press into him at the same time he lowered his hips down onto me. With our combined movements, my length slid into him with relative ease and his hole immediately constricted around my cock.
“God!” Alexis hollered.
“You are so fucking damn tight, baby,” I breathed.
Alexis wrapped both arms around my neck and braced his elbows on my shoulders, using the leverage to bounce his hips up and down. All I had to do was spread my legs a bit into a bit of a squat and hold his body up for him to have his way with me in almost the hottest sex we’ve ever had. His cheeks clapped against my thighs as I slid deeper and deeper into him until I'm sure my entire dick disappeared inside of him
“There! Right there!” Alexis screamed.
“Let me, baby,” I moaned.
My hands moved down to the mounds of his ass and, when I was sure I held his body weight safely in my arms, I began thrusting in and out of him. The slaps of our colliding skin along with our moans of pleasure and ecstasy echoed throughout the entry corridor, each sound bouncing off the walls.
“I’m gonna fucking cum,” I announced.
“Do it! Give it all to me!”
With one last deep thrust, I let out a deep guttural groan and shot out my load inside of Alexis. I fell back into the wall, making sure to keep Alexis up, as I neared the end of my orgasm, panting for breath.
When I was sure I was done filling my fiance up with my love, I slid down the wall and collapsed onto the floor, Alexis staying on top of me and mounting me in the process. Alexis let out that hearty laugh I loved so much and leaned down to kiss me.
“That was amazing,” he whispered.
“You’re insatiable, you know that?”
Alexis winked at me. “You’re welcome.”
