Hi, my name is Shah Rukh and I want to share a part of my journey with you. Coming to terms with my sexuality has been a journey filled with unexpected moments and realizations. This is the story of one such pivotal experience that shaped my understanding of myself.
Since childhood, I’ve always loved expressing myself in unique ways—dancing to female songs was one of my favorite things to do. As I grew older, I started noticing parts of myself that didn’t quite align with the expectations I thought I had to meet. I began exploring my feelings and curiosities, but instead of being drawn to girls as I thought I would, I found myself more intrigued by men.
One summer afternoon, during the school holidays, I was at home working on my homework. The doorbell rang, and I was surprised to see my cousin Shah Nawaz and his mother standing there. I hadn’t seen them in a while, and I was delighted. Shah Nawaz was only three months older than me, but his physical presence made him seem much older—he was tall and broad-shouldered, carrying himself with confidence that I admired.
After lunch, Shah Nawaz and I found ourselves alone in my room, chatting about everything from school to our lives. He started talking about relationships and shared stories about his girlfriend, which quickly turned into a discussion about intimacy. As he spoke, I couldn’t help but notice how he carried himself so effortlessly. There was something about his openness and confidence that made me feel both fascinated and confused.
When the conversation turned toward experiences with other boys, my heart raced. His candor caught me off guard. He shared his thoughts so casually, but I could feel my own curiosity growing. For the first time, I began to confront feelings I didn’t fully understand, but they felt undeniable.
Little did I know, this moment would lead me further down the path of understanding who I truly am. But that’s a story for another time..
