From Part 3
As I watched Rob drive away, I knew that no matter what, even if it turned out we were meant for one another, I’d always be number two in his life. Would that be enough for me?
I finger fucked myself to sleep that night while looking at my laptop. A picture of Ryan Gosling filled the screen. He was cute, but he was no Rob. But I wanted to focus on anyone but Rob. I wanted Rob in the worst way, but the more I wanted him, the angrier I got. About midnight, I was wallowing in a pool of self-pity and my own ejaculate when my phone blew up with calls and texts from Rob.
I finally texted back, “Fuck you.” As I hit send, angry tears began to mist my eyesight.
Thirty minutes later, there was a knock at my door.
I ignored it.
A text message, “Sorry. Talk to me.”
I took two Benadryl and washed it down with a straight shot of rum. I woke up at two o’clock the next afternoon. Groggy. Dry mouth. Feeling like shit. I got in the shower and balled my eyes out. At five I walked to check my mail. There was a note stuffed under the knocker on my front door. I crammed it in my pocket, and I retrieved my mail.
I should have fucked the kid from work. He might have become a regular, at least until he found another guy or knocked up a girl from school. I felt like shit, and I was angry. I just wanted to fuck someone. I thought about looking for an NSA bottom on-line, someone who just wanted some dick. I clenched my teeth. My eyes got misty again. Fuck him for running out on me. I ran back to my apartment, locked the door, and threw myself on my bed. I was too old to be acting like this, but I was torn up inside. I began sobbing again, and I fell back asleep.
I woke up at about four in the morning on Monday. It was too early, but I got myself ready and headed to work. I had a smooth morning with regard to my workload. At eight o’clock, the TV monitors in the workplace came on. I tried to ignore them, but someone had them turned to the news channel. From time to time, Rob was shown reporting on an accident involving the Lieutenant Governor. Video of another car forcing him off the road played over and over. I wasn’t really hungry at lunchtime, but I had a headache that I blamed on stress. I contemplated skipping lunch, but I knew I needed something. I opted for a fish sandwich from McDonald's.
I was outside on the bench and eating slowly and occasionally sipping some water when I noticed the maintenance guys come to the area. I noticed Jack right away; he waved, and I nodded back. I was glad I hadn’t tried to sleep with him. Sex with a minor was not worth it. He was cute and seventeen, but I’m glad my brains won out. I saw him talking with someone I didn’t recognize who had his hair pulled up in a man bun. I hated man buns. In fact, I hated tattoos, piercings, and man buns. I liked both smooth and hairy bodies that were unblemished by purposeful change. Scars, depending on where they were, could be sexy, but usually, they didn’t faze me one way or the other.
I saw the dark-haired man bun guy look over at me. He caught me looking at him, and he smiled. I kept looking, and he got up and came over. He stood in front of me and looked down. “Hello, Kyle. My friend Jack says you won’t fuck him because he’s too young.”
“That’s right,” I replied.
“So you’re a man of integrity. I like that.”
I nodded.
“Mind if I sit?”
“Not at all,” I told him, and I took another bite of my sandwich.
“Jack’s the younger brother of my best friend; otherwise, well, you know.”
I smiled. “You struck me as a bottom boy.”
He laughed. “The fuck you say.” He looked me straight in the eye. His crystal blue eyes were in contrast to his almost jet black hair. “OK, yeah, I prefer taking it to giving it. But I’m not a boy. I’m twenty-two. If you’re interested.”
“I would be, if not for the knot. You know. The one on your head.”
“Don’t find it sexy, huh? It’ll keep the hair out of my face while I blow you.” He smirked.
“I don’t know your name, Blue Eyes,” I raised my eyebrows.
“Fuck, you just made my dick twitch. My name is Larry, but people call me LJ.”
“I’ll tell you what, LJ, those eyes and that smile are making me hard. Do you want to come to my place and let your hair down? I really want to bury my dick in your ass.”
He looked over at his friends and then back at me. “I’d love that, but I’m supposed to be at work at two-thirty. I work until seven. What about after?”
I could tell that he was horny, too. The two of us could slip into the building and find a quiet place for a quick fuck, but I wanted to use him two or three times before sending him home. “OK, LJ, I’ll be outside here at seven if the timing works for me. If I’m not here, then we’ll need to plan another time for me to seed your hole.” I got up and touched his chin. “Later, handsome.” I walk away. I couldn’t believe that I’d just been so blatant, so arrogant. What was happening to me?
The elevator ride up was slow with a stop at each floor, and when I walked into the office, my supervisor had a panicked look on his face.
“Kyle, what the fuck is going on? There’s a TV reporter here, and he insists on seeing you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure it’s nothing, Arlen.” I walked over to my desk. Rob stood up, and I walked over to face him. “Where’s the rest of your crew?”
“Outside in the truck. This has nothing to do with them; it’s about me and my arrogance.”
“I thought it was about running out on me.”
“I know that’s what it looked like. I wasn’t running away from you; I was running to my job. I’m not used to thinking about other people and their feelings. My job has had me on a short leash for so long, it’s an automatic reaction. You know, the old saying. They say, ‘Jump’; I say, ‘how high.’ That doesn’t make it right, and I’m not trying to make excuses. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I really am.”
Shit, he was pulling me in again. All he would have to do is fucking smile at me and I would cave. I tried to strengthen my resolve. “I’ve got work to do, Rob.”
“Please tell me that I haven’t lost you.”
“What do you want me to say to that? I’m still pissed about your running to work in the middle of…” I let my voice trail off.
“Can I have another start-over? Please?” Were his eyes getting moist? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I wanted him so much. I wanted him to hold me and touch me. “I want to say yes, but… Fuck, Rob, can I trust you? How will I know that when push comes to shove, you won’t pick your job over me?
“Fuck,” I said between clenched teeth. I do fucking trust you. I don’t want to, but I know you’re being honest.” I sat down at my desk.
Rob got on his knees next to me and pulled out his phone. “I have a really important decision to make. I need you to help me make it. I was an asshole to answer the phone the other night and then to rush into work. But what I’m about to say will change things.
“I got a call from a New York City affiliate this morning. They want me to anchor their evening news. A month ago, I would have said yes without a moment’s hesitation.” Rob reached for my hand. “Fifteen minutes after that call, the channel here in town asked me to anchor the morning news. It’s steady work with regular hours, but it’s not an advance in status.”
“Which one do you want?” I asked.
“The one that makes me the happiest,” he replied. “I still want to get to know you, to see whether our friendship can grow into something more. If you’re willing to give me a chance, then I want to stay in town.”
“And going to New York?”
“If you don’t give me another chance, I don’t want to be here being reminded of the possibilities that I destroyed. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you told me to fuck off in that text. It’s as if God said to me, you prayed for food, and I gave you a full plate, and you threw it in the garbage.”
I took a deep breath. My future was tied to his; for how long? Who could say? “Take the job here in town and text me what time you can be at my place tonight. We can try again.” I kept remembering what he said to me in the car.
Rob bent forward and kissed me, and a pang of guilt shot through me. I was ready to take another man home and spend the evening with him. Because of anger. He left me to go to work because he’s driven and not used to telling someone else what he’s doing. The two hardly seemed equal.
I watched Rob walk to the elevators; he turned back and gave me a little wave. He stepped out of view, and the doors closed.
Arlen ran over to my desk flapping his hands and running on the ball of his feet in stereotypical gay man fashion. His voice was high and squeaky. “Oh my gosh, Kyle, are you dating Bobby Martin? You are. You’re fucking dating Bobby Martin.” I stared in disbelief. Arlen had been the most straight-acting man in the office. I would have bet money that his dick saw pussy at the snap of his fingers. When did my two hundred pound, masculine, bodybuilder physique, has a five o’clock shadow at eight in the morning, tough-guy persona supervisor become a fairy princess?
I put my head in my hands. I had a killer headache.
“Oh you poor dear,” Arlen continued. “You don’t feel well. You go home, OK. I don’t fucking believe this.”
“Yeah, I think I will go home.” I shut down my computer and was gone five minutes later.
I was laying on my bed with an ice-cold rag on my head when I heard my phone bing.
Rob: I’m in my car in the parking lot. I was on the phone from the time I left the office. I’ll wait here until you’re ready. I’ll wait all night; I’ll wait all week. I’m a selfish, thoughtless, arrogant bastard. Help me be a better man.
Me: Drama Queen, Academy Award.
I watched the clock; I went two minutes without writing anything.
Me: I’ve unlocked the door. Lock it behind you. Be sure to take your shoes off. Come into the bedroom and rub my feet.
Fewer than thirty seconds later, I heard the front door open and close. The bolt was thrown. Rob came into the room and sat at the foot of the bed. He held my sock-covered right foot in his hand and rubbed his thumbs over the soles of my feet.
I broke the silence. “If I were your boyfriend, I would tell you what the problem is. Since I’m your friend, I’ll wait for you to ask my opinion.”
“We’ve exchanged body fluids and showered together. Aren’t we more than friends?” Rob continued to rub my foot.
“Friends Plus, then.”
“So what’s your take on why I’m an asshole?”
“I never said you were an asshole, at least, not that I remember. And you were the one that said you were arrogant. I think that you’re just used to worrying about yourself. I bet that since college, you’re the only person you’ve had to worry about. No pets, no family, no nothing.”
“You’re right. No nothing,” agreed Rob.
“So, when you got a call that you needed to rush off to France or the news station, you just did it. Even though I was in the room with you, you just robotically answered the call to arms.”
“So, I’m thoughtless.”
“Not necessarily. You just need to remember that your actions now affect someone else. Namely me. We’ve begun to invest in one another. Before you decide to go fishing with your buddies, you need to see if I’ve planned something for us. The same goes for me. If there’s a last-minute dinner with someone important, you need to let me know so I’m not thinking you’ve been killed on your way home. It’s the same common courtesy that you used when you were a kid, you just haven’t had to use that aspect of it in a while.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
“No. I never hated you. I was angry. Very angry. I thought about fucking you out of my head with someone else. But it doesn’t work like that,” I added.
“If you did fuck someone, I don’t want to know about it. It wouldn’t have been your fault, and we never promised to be exclusive.”
“Come here.” I pulled him next to me. “I didn’t fuck anyone. I didn’t kiss anyone.” I kissed him. “Are you really staying in town?”
“I really am. And you know, I’m going to be really popular and then the national affiliates will offer me millions and millions of dollars, and I’ll hire you to manage my database.”
“You will?” I asked. I reached down and grabbed his crotch. “What about your hard drive. Do you want me to defrag it?”
“That sounds painful,” laughed Rob.
His laughter and his smile made all my doubts and insecurities seem to vanish. I wasn’t sure why, but I thought about the note he had left on the door. I’d crumpled it up and threw it on the counter. I’d never read it.
“Hold on a minute,” I told him. I ran to the kitchen and flattened out the crumpled sheet of paper. I tilted the paper for more light.
“Dear Kyle, My thoughtlessness has taught me how important you are in my life. It’s killing me to know that I hurt you. I would give anything to be next to you this very second. Friendships can be fragile as they grow, and I pray with all my heart that I have not crushed ours. Rob. His initials, RMP, were printed at the top.”
I walked back into the bedroom, pushed him down on the bed, and slid on top of him. I waved the crumpled paper in the air. “Neither of us nor our friendship has been crushed, Robbie.” I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his nipples and then his chin.
Rob slid his hands under my t-shirt and pushed it over my head. We snuggled together bare-chested and made out like two teenagers high on hormones before collapsing onto the bed and holding one another tightly together.
There was a stillness in the air; we held each other without moving. I could feel Rob’s heart beating, and his cock pushed gently against his pants with each beat.
“Kyle,” he whispered. “I want people to know that I’m dating you. I don’t want to hide anymore. It scares me a little, you know, the repercussions of people’s knowledge. But you’ve made me know that I don’t need to feel shame. I just don’t know how to let everyone know.”
“I wouldn’t announce it; just don’t hide it. If someone asks, just admit that we’re dating, the same thing those mixed-gender couples do. You would tell your closest friends, but you wouldn’t put up a billboard.”
“There’s going to be a billboard of me just before I start working on the morning show,” Rob said. “You’ll be able to point to it and tell your friends, ‘that guy sucks my dick.’”
“How about, ‘that guy has a tight ass’ with a picture of you looking over your shoulder.” I started to laugh. I moved down on the bed, grabbed Rob’s ankles, and rolled him onto his front. I pushed his legs apart and ran my finger down his crack. “His hole is hairy, too.” I bent forward and playfully bit his ass cheek. “Best ass in town.” Desire overtook me at that moment, and I ran my tongue between his firm melon-like cheeks.
Rob gasped as the tip of my tongue crossed over his sphincter muscle, so I went to town on his hole. I ran the flat of my tongue across it before encircling the muscle with the tip of my tongue. My saliva began to make the area very wet, and I moved a finger up and pushed it in. Rob flinched, and I decided to use some silicone lube. A few drops and my finger was sliding in and out of him with ease. “Do you like that, Robbie?”
“Mmmm,” he moaned.
“Imagine if you had rubbed both of my feet.” I slid two fingers into him.
He began to tremble as he moaned. “Kyle, you’re my first. I trust you.”
I’d never had sex without a condom, and I hadn’t been inside anyone in over three years. My doctor had tested me at my last annual even though I had not even kissed another human for over two years.
“I’m safe, Robbie.”
“I want to feel your skin against mine,” he murmured.
With my knees between his knees, I lowered myself onto him. I guided my penis to line up with his hole, and as my chest came in complete contact with his back, I felt the pressure of resistance as my cock tried to penetrate him.
Rob reached back with his hands and pulled his ass cheeks farther apart. The head of my dick crept into him by only a fraction. He tilted his ass up just slightly, and the friction against the head of my shaft elicited a moan. I tensed a little at the same time, and my shaft slipped in, my corona popping past the first sphincter barrier.
We were still for a moment after that. His ass had a tight grip on me, and I fought to resist the urge to shove myself deep inside him. Small barely perceivable moment of hips resulted in my sliding more deeply into him. I maintained a constant pressure, and soon the last few inches of me were held by his warm tunnel.
As a steam locomotive increases the frequency of its motions, my pumping Robbie began slowly and sped up over time. I wrapped my right arm under him and pinned him in place under me. My mind became a blur of wanting and having. Rob’s vocabulary degraded down to one word and a grunt, “Uh, fuck.” Until he emitted one long grunt as I slammed into him and came in such repetitive copious amounts that for a second, I feared that all my bodies’ juices would empty out.
I remained motionless on him for several minutes until I felt myself soften and retract from within him. I rolled to one side, and Rob rolled to the other. We faced one another, a large pool of semen between us.
“Did you do that?” It was a stupid, rhetorical question.
But Rob answered, “No. You made me do that.” Then he grinned.
I smiled a truly happy smile.
I wanted to snuggle a bit, but the huge wet spot would prevent it. Rob and I stripped the bed, and we put fresh sheets on. It felt a little chilly, so I put an extra blanket on. When we got into bed, I felt his warm hairy chest on my back. He pulled me close, and I felt him get hard between my cheeks.
“I want you,” I whispered.
“Tomorrow,” he said. “After I feed you shrimp and caviar, and we drink champagne.” He kissed the back of my neck.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on each spot on my body that was in contact with him. He was perfection.
When I woke up, I was surprised to find myself uncovered and freezing. I called for Rob, but there was no answer. After searching the apartment for him, I looked outside. His car was gone. He had deserted me yet again.
