A Love to Die For

College wasn’t what I expected it to be.

I expected a place that I could call my own, a place that I could get away from my deranged family and just be me. But it turns out, I’m just fucking weird to everyone I guess.

We were three months in and I still hadn’t made a single friend on campus. Sad, I know. And maybe it was my quiet nature or subtle presence, but I figured there had to be at least one person who’d find me likeable.

I had no idea who that person would end up being.

It was another lonely night in my room, another lonely night of scrolling through Grindr and imagining fantasies of hooking up with the people on there. I was always so afraid of actually going through with any of it, too scared to actually do anything really. But something flipped inside of me this night, and when I was talking to yet another faceless profile— I grew a pair.

He invited me to meet him in his car, so I did. I dressed in all black, hopeful to not be seen, and trudged into the vast parking lot full of student and faculty cars. I found his with the tinted windows and took a deep breath before climbing in the passenger. And there he was— a normal fucking guy.

I remember him smiling at me, placing a hand on my thigh and squeezing my worries away. Even though my nerves were all over the place, something about his presence made me feel safe, made me feel welcome. He sported a scruffy beard and big brown eyes, tousled dark hair and a strong nose. Truthfully he was perfect, and I was curious as to why out of anyone— he’d wanna hook up with me.

But before anything like that happened, he actually took the time to get to know me better and we sat in his car listening to tunes while we talked. And I don’t know why, but I spilled all of my trauma onto him. Not my family drama or childhood trauma— but all the hardships that came with college so far.

I told him about Corey on the lacrosse team and how he singled me out at try outs. I told him about my biology professor who made me look stupid and got me laughed at. I told him of Max at the fraternity who laughed in my face when I attempted to pledge myself.

And he sat there and listened to every word, kept every word, and promised not to tell a soul. It was nice actually, letting it all out though I was worried I soured the mood. But he told me it was alright, and when he grabbed his clear hard on through his shorts, he smirked and said “trust, you haven’t ruined any mood.”

I remember feeling this surge of confidence and touched it, felt him through his shorts as he lifted his shirt off. He told me to suck on it, so I did. I reached over the clutch and slid down his shorts, amazed at the thick hairy cock that sprung out. I’d never done any of it before, this was all a first time but I had no plans on telling him that.

I popped his tip in my mouth and tasted the salt, tasted his flavor. It was bliss— something I knew I liked immediately. And before I know it, he had his hands in my hair and forcibly shoving his length down my throat, not caring of the gags and sputters from me. But he’d let me breathe, he’d let me have breaks— it was the force and aggression behind his hands that turned me on even more.

Eventually he asked me to climb into the back, and I obeyed yet again. There was much more space in the back, much more room for him to spread his legs and get comfortable as I continued slobbering on his cock. The deep grunts from him kept me hard, and the moans that escaped him made me crave him even more.

“I want to fuck you.” He said, throwing me off guard as I didn’t prepare for that, never done that.

And I was honest with him, finally telling him that fucking was something I’d never done nor something I prepared to do. But he convinced me, he whispered those sweet nothings and compliments and soon was drawing my shorts down my legs. He told me if it was messy that he wouldn’t care, that nothing would make me ugly to him.

I didn’t care if he meant it— in that moment it meant a lot to me specifically. And that’s all I cared about.

He had me straddle his waist as he aimed the tip of his slimy cock at my hole, his hands firmly around my waist as he inched me down. His tip wouldn’t go in at first, my entrance so clutched and tense and unready. But he brought his lips to mine and soothed those worries away long enough for his tip to pop through, earning a shudder and growl out of me.

He smirked, “that’s so fucking hot.” And he trusted, another shockwave of pain rattled through my bones. But I liked it, I wanted it— needed it.

I let him work his way in, clenched my teeth and tensed my jaw as the pain began to subside. Soon his movements underneath started to feel good, soon those thrusts of his had my dick hard again between us. He grabbed my length, squeezed me as he let gravity pull my ass down to his balls, all seven glorious inches of him inside me.

“Ride me.” He ordered, and I did. I’d bounce up and down, smacking my thighs to his as his cock poked at my prostate— at that spot inside me that made me throw my head back in bliss.

I moaned out, “Oh my God that feels good.” And I felt his hands back at my waist, felt that surge of aggression come back to him as he started to fuck me mercilessly— roughly and undoubtedly faster than I could’ve imagined. I cried out in ecstasy, loving every second of every inch that he pounded me with.

And it didn’t take him long after that, soon he was panting too, he was cursing and moaning and clenching his teeth. And as his legs started to shake, as my own climax was impending, I felt several hot squirts of cum fill inside me.

But he didn’t stop the thrusting, “cum for me.” He ordered as he went, still panting after he came. And not once did I had to touch myself, not once did I have to even look at my own dick. All I had to do was look into his eyes and hear his voice, feel his length, and suddenly I craned my neck back and blew my load all over his bare chest.

He thanked me for coming to his car, thanked me for being honest and forthcoming. He told me he’d love to see me again and we exchanged numbers.

But the next day, with a glow from having my first sexual experience— was dimmed by the wail of police sirens outside. I dressed and joined my hall that congregated outside to watch the madness, to hear of what happened.

Corey from the lacrosse team was found outside by the bleachers, his skull crushed on the pavement with no trace of evidence. My stomach turned as I thought about it. No… this is just a coincidence. Yes, I didn’t like the guy— maybe hated him. But not enough to kill him.

It couldn’t have been… the Grindr guy. In that moment I realized I didn’t even know his name, actually… I knew nothing about him. I talked the whole time, and he only listened. So I snuck away to text him, but instead found a message already sitting there from him.

“You’re welcome.”