My face pushed into my pillow made it difficult to breathe. He was sitting on my back. I couldn’t force him off. I bent my legs at the knees and tried to kick him with my heals, but they didn’t reach. The shock of cold liquid running between my cheeks made my body shudder. The pressure changed as he moved, but he was still able to keep me pinned to the bed, not surprising since he weighed about a hundred pounds more than I did.
“Fuck,” I screamed into the pillow as he penetrated me. I could hear him grunt in pleasure. He pushed my knees apart with his. His hands gripped my shoulders.
The room seemed to change, and I heard him growl. “You fucking piece of shit. You think you can parade around in your underpants with your ass hanging out. You wiggle your fucking hardon in front of me, giving me a boner, and then you pretend you don’t want it.” He slapped the side of my head. He kept fucking. I felt lucky that he wasn’t very thick. My last boyfriend was bigger, so he wasn't tearing my ass, but he was relentless. It seemed to take forever before he came.
He got up from the bed and picked me up as though I were made from straw. He slapped me across the face, hard. “Tell your father, you fucking tease, and you’ll be out of your ear. Now go shower and wash your ass. I might want to use it again, and it better be clean.
I took a shower and threw the bedspread into the washer. I wanted nothing to remind me of him.
The next morning, my father sat at the table as he had a little breakfast before heading off to bed. I told him how his latest boyfriend used me, filled me with his filthy DNA. And when I was done, my dad looked toward the doorway. I turned, and there stood Roger with a smug look.
“What do you have to say about this?” he asked.
Roger shook his head. “I told you that the kid was after me. He said if I didn’t fuck him, he would tell you that I did anyway. It never happened, the kid’s a liar.”
My father looked at me. “Look at me,” he demanded.
“He’s the liar, dad.”
“Stephen, he’s been telling me for the past week how you’ve been after him. I can’t blame you, he is a hunk. And I’m sure that we haven’t been as quiet as we should have been. But when men fuck, there’s bound to be some noise. Anyway, you’re going to have to go back to your mother. I can’t have you going after my boyfriend.”
“But Dad, he’s lying.”
“That’s enough. Pack your shit. Roger will take you to the bus station.”
Sometimes, when one looks back at the past, he realizes that something horrible, possibly even brutal, ends up being the catalyst for the change his life needs.
My mother wasn’t happy about my showing up. I’d had a part-time job; now, I had to find another. My dad had taught me to weld, but I had no license, so I set about to get one. Based on my father’s instruction, I was able to pass the test to get the certification. He was a mostly worthless father, but he did give me a career.
I found work almost immediately, and within a few months, I had my own place, a small one-bedroom apartment. My mother gave me furniture, probably so she had an excuse to buy new ones. I was able to get a decent used car and to work on my savings. Life was good, but I was lonely. I started using Grindr for companionship. I met lots of men; no one worked out. I didn’t want any sex until I knew the guy was decent. That attitude greatly diminished my opportunities while improving the grip of my right hand.
One thing that my apartment didn’t have was its own washer and dryer. I had been using my mother’s machines until the day she insinuated that I only came to visit to wash my clothes. While I told her I would come to visit her regardless, she told me to use a laundromat and to stop bothering her.
Thus began my weekly trip to Speed-o-Wash. It was the cleanest that I’d found. I would go on Friday morning since my job was four ten-hour days, I had Fridays off. I chatted with the people I would meet there every wash day.
After a few months, I had the opportunity to move into a small house on a nice sized lot. It still didn't have a washer or dryer; although, there was a place for one. I kept going to the Speed-o-Wash. My life was pretty routine until the Friday morning I slipped on a banana peel. I’d put a banana in my cereal, and left the peel on the counter. I must have knocked it onto the floor, and when I slipped, I broke my bowl and fell on it. Six staples at the local doc-in-the-box got me back on track, but I ended up at the laundry three hours behind schedule.
No one was in the place when I got there, so I got my things going. I always used three machines, whites, underwear, and everything else. My things had just started washing when a man my age came in with two baskets and a baby.
“Wow, do you need some help? How are you carrying those baskets and the baby? Aww. He’s cute.” He was cute, and so was his baby.
“Thanks for the offer. The baby’s in this sling thing. His name is Liam.”
“How do you do, Liam? I’m Will.”
“I’m Drew.”
“Pleased to meet you. Are you sure I can’t help you with anything? My clothes are already in the machines.”
“Well, I do have another load in the car, in the front seat.” He put the baskets down and pulled out his key fob. “Will you lock it back?”
“Not a problem.” I headed out to his car which was easy to find since it was the only other one in the lot. I grabbed the blue Ikea filled with laundry and locked the car before heading back in. I placed it on top of the washer next to the one Drew was filling with white towels.
“How old is he?” I asked. I’m sure he’s asked that question all the time.
“Ten months.”
Liam turned and looked at me. He knew we were talking about him.
“He knows I was asking about him. Don’t you Liam?”
Liam squirmed some more and put his hands out to me.
“Hey,” said Drew. “He never does that. He must like you.”
“May I hold him?”
“Yeah, you’re not a kidnapper, right.”
“Nope,” I replied.
“Good, I don’t have any money to pay a ransom.“ He freed Liam from the sling and handed him to me. Liam grabbed onto my shirt and rested his head against my chest. I moved side to side as I held him while Drew finished loading the washers.
“Let me know when you’re tired of holding him.”
“How could you ever get tired of holding him?” I asked.
“He can get cranky at times, but he’s a great kid. I think he’s pretty smart which is a lot more than I can say for his parents.”
“So you’re not his father?”
“Not biologically. Hey, let’s sit down.
We sat. “So you’re babysitting?” I asked.
“No. He’s mine now.”
Liam’s grip on my shirt seemed to tighten slightly as he wiggled around to get comfortable. It felt really good to hold him. There was a story here, but I didn’t pry. Drew eyed me carefully. “You want to know the story, but you’re too polite to ask,” he said.
“Yeah, you’ve read me correctly.” I smiled. Liam’s eyes closed and his breathing became regular.
“It’s not really very interesting.”
“Yeah?” I whispered. “I think it’s already put Liam to sleep.” I smiled. “I don’t want to pry.”
“Most people do,” replied Drew. “That fact that you don’t makes me want to tell you. The way you’re holding him and the way he went to you make me think you’ll understand.”
Liam moved his hand just slightly. I wanted to be friends with the man sitting next to me. Was it because of the baby that I was holding, or was it because he seemed so nice and friendly?
“My sister gave birth to him. She’s always slept around, but she’s always made her boyfriends use protection. My mother drilled it into us. My sister and I have different fathers and were born when my mother was still a teenager. My sister’s father accepted her, but he went to prison when she was little. The man whom my mother claimed was my father insisted on a paternity test. He wasn’t my father. So I don’t know my dad, and my dad doesn’t know I exist.
“So, anyway, my mother always insisted we use protection. We got the talk when we were ten. But, you know, protection isn’t one hundred percent. Before he was born, I heard my sister saying that she was going to leave him at the fire station, and she was going to go to California with her boyfriend. I convinced her to give him to me. She listed me as the father and gave a fake name for herself.”
I reached my hand out and touched his. He looked up at me. “It’s the stuff of soap operas, isn’t it.”
“What you did is really beautiful.” I could tell my eyes were moist.
“Things are tough. I thought my mom would help me a little, but she wants nothing to do with us. There’s a daycare on campus, and I’ve been able to get some financial aid to help us until I graduate and can get regular work.”
“I admire what you’re doing.” In my head, the gears started spinning. If I got a washer and dryer for my apartment, he could do his laundry there. I could spend laundry day with a friend, and Liam would have a clean place to play while we worked. My first washer stopped. I looked over at it.
“Want to hand him back?”
“No. I love holding him.” I looked down at him. “Liam,” I whispered. “Time to go back to your daddy.”
Drew took him, and I set about moving my clothes to the dryer. “So, how do you manage when no one is here?”
“He sits in the laundry basket. I don’t want him crawling around on the floor, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. Sometimes I don’t like walking on the floor even in shoes. And this is the cleanest place I’ve found.”
We kept talking. We folded our clothes, exchanged phone numbers, and I helped him get his things in the car. As we said good-bye, I said, “I’m planning on going to the park near the airport on Sunday afternoon. Do you think Liam would like to watch the planes?”
“Are you asking Liam out on a date?”
“Yeah, I am. I think we got along pretty well. We’ll make it a picnic. I’ll bring my camera in case he wants to take some shots of the airplanes. I’ll even provide the food. I am the one asking him out after all. Maybe you’d like to join him. It’s fun watching the planes.”
Drew bent down into the car. “What do you think Liam? Will wants to know if you want to go to a grown-up airplane park. Yeah?” He stood up in front of me. “He says it sounds like fun.”
“I’ll pick you up on Sunday.” I had the sudden urge to kiss Drew, but I resisted. “Is eleven-thirty too early?”
“Why not eleven? I’d like… I mean, I’m sure Liam would like to have an extra bit of time with you.”
I smiled. “I like you. You’re a special man.” I placed my thumb in the palm of his hand and rubbed. “Can I face-time you later?”
“I’d be sad if you don’t.” He got into the car. I pushed the door shut.
“Good-bye, Liam,” I called into the car. Then I turned and walked back to my car. I watched them drive away. I headed straight to Best Buy to get a washer and dryer. They were able to deliver one on Friday morning.
That night, I felt like a teenager as I started texting Drew.
Me: I had a great time talking to you today, and I enjoyed holding Liam. He’s really sweet. I can see where he gets it.
Drew: I had a good time, too. I haven’t met someone like you before.
Me: Is Drew your real name?
Drew: It’s Andrew, but everyone’s always called me Drew.
Me: Do you prefer Drew, Andrew, or … Andy?
Drew: No one has ever called me Andy.
Me: Should I start?
Drew: It’d be wild to have a friend who called me a different name from what everyone else calls me.
Me: So, Andy, I take it that you’d like it.
Drew: I think I’d like anything that you’d do.
Me: Yeah?
Drew: Duck, I wrote that without thinking.
Me: I think you’re special.
Three minutes passed without a reply. My heart was in my stomach.
Drew: Sorry about that. Liam dropped something, and I heard it and had to investigate. He’s fine. I want you to know that I think you’re a special guy, too. I haven’t had luck with guys I’ve dated.
Me: I want to know if we’ll be good friends or something more.
Drew: I don’t want a friend with benefits.
Me: I’m not talking about that.
Drew: Sorry, didn’t mean to say you were; just saying it.
Me: I don’t want that either. I’m looking for someone to love who loves me. A real relationship.
Drew: That’s what I want, too. Will you call me Andy?
Me: Yes, Andy, I will.
Drew: Can we meet tomorrow? I don’t want to wait until Sunday.
Me: I’m here all day. Want me to come over, or do you want to come here?
Drew: Embarrassed about my place; I’ll come over.
Me: No need to be. But you are welcome here. Sending you my address.
Drew: got it. Hold on.
Another three minutes.
Drew: Sorry. Neighbors are fighting; they woke up Liam.
Me: Poor baby. Do you want to come over now? No neighbors. No noise.
Drew: How do you not have neighbors?
Me: I have a large lot with a small house.
Drew: That must be nice.
Me: Come over and see. Bring a change of clothes and spend the night. I have a spare room with a twin bed. Or Liam can sleep between us on the queen bed.
Drew: The police just showed up. I think I will come over. See you when I get there.
I reread those words several times. Each time I read them, my manhood grew. I couldn’t contain my excitement. Then I freaked. I hadn’t put all the groceries away. My laundry was still out. I ran around the house like a madman getting everything in order. I did a once-over on the living room and adjusted some books on the shelf. “You’re a crazy gay man,” I said aloud. “He’s not going to notice a book that’s pushed in five millimeters more than the others.” But that didn’t stop me from going over everything with a fine-toothed comb. I even put fresh sheets on the twin bed even though no one had slept on the sheets that were on it.
I was running the vacuum over the living room rug one last time when I saw the car pull up. I went outdoors and signaled him to park under the carport. I hated that thing. It was going to be the first thing I took down when I bought the place, but it had proven useful during the last storm when a pizza delivery guy was stuck here during the hailstorm. It was too bad he was straight.
“I know it looks as if I’m moving in,” said Andy, “but when you’ve got a baby, there’s a lot of stuff.”
“Hey, it’s cool.”
“Covered parking for your guests; that’s cool.”
“I put it up when you texted that you were coming,” I joked.
“Thanks so much for letting me come. The last time the police came, they had to come three more times. They just wouldn’t stop.”
“Let me help you get this stuff inside. Oh. Look who’s there.”
Liam put his arms out. “Me. Hold.”
My mouth dropped. “What the fuck! Did he just tell me to hold him?”
“Yep. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything this afternoon, but maybe he was assessing you.” Andy laughed.
“Oh, you know I’m going to hold you if you ask me to.” I took him from the car seat and held him. “Sorry, dad, you’re going to have to unload and bring into the house on your own. My boyfriend wants me to hold him.” I danced around a little bit. Liam giggled, and I had a great time just showing my awful dance moves. When Andy took the last bag into the house, I followed him and latched the door.
Two large bags, a playpen, and a cooler filled the alcove next to the kitchen. “Things for the fridge first?” I asked. “I’ll move the bags into the hall.” I didn’t want to move them into the bedroom unless asked. “I was going to call in a pizza, but I wasn’t sure what kind you wanted,” I said as I moved the bags.
“I like anything except green olives and peppers.”
“You’re my kind of man.” I called the pizza in. Liam waited patiently, and as soon as I hung up the phone, he said, “Me. Dow.”
“He should probably go in the playpen,” said Andy.
“No,” said Liam. “Flo.”
“The floor is clean if you’re worried about it. I’m kind of neurotic about it.”
“OK, Liam,” Andy said directly to him. “But stay where I can see you.”
I put Liam down, and he immediately grabbed my leg and pulled himself up. He was wobbly, but I was impressed.
Andy looked at me. “He’s been trying to stand for about a week. I worry that he’ll fall and get hurt, but I’m probably being overprotective. I’m sure my mother just turned me loose, and I survived.”
“Has he tried to walk?” I asked.
“Only when I hold both his hands. He tried to coordinate his legs.”
I bent forward and put my fingers out to see if he would grab them. He let go of my leg to grab one of my fingers, and then he laughed and sat down. He crawled away and sat on the edge of the rug in the living room before turning to face us. “Come.”
“I can see who’s in charge already.”
“You’re the one giving in,” Andy reminded me.
We both walked over and sat next to him. He reached up to Andy’s shirt and pulled himself up to give Andy a kiss.
“Whoa,” I laughed. Then he reached over to me, grabbed my shirt, and kissed me. I smiled and laughed, but inside, I was fighting back tears. I’d fallen in love with this kid. He was giggling.
I looked up at Andy, and he said, “My turn.” He leaned in and gently kissed me.
Liam let go and sat down. He squealed and clapped his hands.
“I know I’m supposed to wait until the end of our first day, but I couldn’t resist.”
“I don’t want you to resist. Ever. I have a surprise for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah. Well, sort of. I didn’t like thinking about you and Liam at the laundromat, and I’d been thinking about getting a washer and dryer, so after we left the laundromat, I ordered a pair. They’ll be here Friday. There’s a laundry room right next to the kitchen, so they’ll go in there. It’ll take longer because there’s only one of each of course, but you can still go to the other place if you want.”
“You’re rambling; just shut the fuck up and let me thank you.” He kissed me again.
Liam grabbed my shirt again and pulled himself back up. He kissed me again.
“We need to get you some toys or a baby brother.” I laughed.
“Where would we find a baby brother?” Andy asked Liam. Liam just laughed and crawled to the couch.
The gears in my head started to turn. I’d heard that two of the guys on the construction team had gotten girlfriends pregnant within the last year. I wondered whether any wanted to give their children up for adoption. An unwed mother who would let me put my name on the birth certificate and use a fake name for herself. Would that work for me as well?
We heard a car in the driveway. Andy stood up. “Pizza.”
“Peez-ah,” echoed Liam.
I stood up. “Can he eat pizza? Doesn’t it need to be put in the blender?” I went to the door.
“I’ve given him a tiny piece that I cut from the end, and he’s happy. I never thought about making it a purée.”
I opened the door to see the sexy boy who’d delivered the pizza the last time. “How are you?” I asked.
“OK. You’ve got company this time.”
“Yeah.” I handed him a ten in exchange for the two boxes.
“Too bad, but thanks.” He turned and left. I was sure he was strutting his ass. His attitude gave me the urge to follow him out to the car, push him against it, and fuck him hard. He was a fucking tease. The last time he’d delivered pizza, he touched my chest with his finger and said, “Too bad I have other pizzas to deliver.” Someone was going to take him down a peg one day. Not me though. I had something immensely better inside. A fifteen-minute fuck versus a lifetime of happiness, or at least the possibility of it. It was an easy choice. I closed the door and put the boxes on the kitchen table.
A few hours later, Andy and I were sitting on the couch holding hands; we were no longer hungry. Liam sat at my feet. Classical music played. I felt a tug, and Liam was looking at me. “Di-pah.”
Andy smiled. “I’ll take care of it.”
“No,” said Liam. “Wi-oh.”
“My name is Will. You couldn’t possibly want me to change your diaper.”
“Di-pah,” he repeated.
I leaned forward and lifted him. “Every job has its shitty part. Should we take care of it in the bathroom? Then you can have a bath.”
“I’ll bring what we need.”
Changing Liam was not as awful as I had imagined. It was pretty easy to wipe his little ass clean. Once the tub water was warm, the two of us washed him and rinsed him. We shared a few more kisses while he splashed in the water. He smelled really nice as I dried him off. He got a new diaper, and I put him in the playpen. The classic music was still playing, I turned the volume down and turned off the lights. He was asleep in minutes.
Andy turned to me and put his arms around my neck. “I’ve never felt more comfortable around another person. Almost from the instant I met you, you put me at ease, and I felt that I could trust you.” He kissed me; it wasn’t hard and rushed. It was gentle and caring. His tongue caressed my lips and rubbed against my tongue.
My groin responded, and I pushed against him. “Why don’t we shower? Then we can do whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“There are things I want, Will, that…”
“It’s OK, Andy. Nothing you’re uncomfortable with. We’re not here to prove anything. Just to get to know each other.”
Andy smiled. “Can you scrub my back?”
“I’d love to scrub your back.”
I noticed a slight tenseness overtake him.
“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling.”
“I’m a little nervous. I haven’t been naked in front of anyone, another guy, and…” He looked at me, and then he stepped away. “I felt you when we were kissing, you know, your…”
“You felt my erection,” I said.
“Yeah. I’m not that big. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Oh, Andy.” I put my arms on him. “You’ve exceeded every expectation I’ve ever had about someone I’d want to share my life with. I’m not sure how to put how good I’m feeling into words. I’m not worried about the size of your dick.”
“You haven’t seen it.”
“Show it to me.” It was a demand; I could have been more gentle, but fuck, Andy was the perfect man, and I was going to be too shallow to accept his small dick. “Take off all your clothes.”
He obeyed as if he were a young child in trouble.
His athletic runner body came into view. He was on the thin side, but he wasn’t lacking any muscle. He had great six-pack abs. His chest was covered in short, straight blond hair. Just looking at him made my dick pulse. I got down on my knees, and as I did, I ran my fingers over his chest. His cock sprang to life. He had a good five and one-half inches of stiff, straight dick. His shaft was probably on the thinner size of average, but, like Andy, his cock was perfect.
“There is nothing wrong with this penis,” I told him, and then I slid my mouth over it. It reached to the back of my mouth and perhaps a little farther. I began to suck him, running my tongue up and down the shaft as I kept my nose buried in his bush. I wrapped my fingers around his cheeks and held him tight to my face.
With my lips circled around his cock, I moved my mouth up and down. I felt Andy’s hands grab my head. He started to pump; he was skull-fucking me. I heard him grunting, and then he slammed into me. The head of his dick went into my throat. He emitted a long ‘fuuuck’ through clenched teeth as I felt his seed spasmed into my gullet.
Andy let go of me and sat on the floor. He was out of breath. I noticed some cum drip from his cock, which was still completely rigid. He looked at me in disbelief.
I moved closer to him on my hands and knees. I licked the end of his erection and then looked him directly in the eyes. “That is one helluva dick. There is nothing wrong with that baby. I can’t wait until you fuck me with it.”
I saw an evil grin form on his face.
