Public Exposure: How to Accessorize Naked
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Image Credit: Fore-Skin, Posted 1 Nov 2018
When a guy is going to be naked in public, there aren't a lot of ways to make a fashion statement. So it comes down to accessories. And within those options, a belt is generally out as people don't tend to wear belts when not wearing pants.
Though at the moment, I'm wearing a belt and no pants, which, if I were to leave my apartment right now, would make me a trendsetter. Or a pariah. One of those two things.
So these guys are making the most of their limited sartorial options. When flashing truckers, dressing (or undressing) the part means a dirty cap and wool socks. Vogue magazine tyrant Anna Wintour, who has the subtlety of an 18-wheeler, would honk her approval.
Work boots and tube socks will always be a win in my book. They scream "I'm here! I'm naked! I'm in work boots and tube socks!" Not a complex political statement but at least accurate.
Roller blades, sneakers, gloves, headphones, and a pot leaf knit cap are all fine accessories with some form and function.
That leaves the guy at the top right, whose only accessories are a camera and a giant penis, which makes him the best undressed of the lot. Plus the person he's taking a picture of may themselves be nude, which makes him an exhibitionist and voyeur all at once. This is an enviable skill.
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